bureaucracy-第18章

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phrase　given　by　the　transposition　of　the　letters　of　his　names　and

titles；　and　his　patriotism　struggled　hard　to　suppress　the　factsignal

evidence　for　his　theorythat　in　Horatio　Nelson；　〃honor　est　a　Nilo。〃

Ever　since　the　accession　of　Charles　X。；　he　had　bestowed　much　thought

on　the　king's　anagram。　Thuillier；　who　was　fond　of　making　puns；

declared　that　an　anagram　was　nothing　more　than　a　pun　on　letters。　The

sight　of　Colleville；　a　man　of　real　feeling；　bound　almost　indissolubly

to　Thuillier；　the　model　of　an　egoist；　presented　a　difficult　problem　to

the　mind　of　an　observer。　The　clerks　in　the　offices　explained　it　by

saying；　〃Thuillier　is　rich；　and　the　Colleville　household　costly。〃　This

friendship；　however；　consolidated　by　time；　was　based　on　feelings　and

on　facts　which　naturally　explained　it；　an　account　of　which　may　be

found　elsewhere　（see　〃Les　Petits　Bourgeois〃）。　We　may　remark　in　passing

that　though　Madame　Colleville　was　well　known　in　the　bureaus；　the

existence　of　Madame　Thuillier　was　almost　unknown　there。　Colleville；　an

active　man；　burdened　with　a　family　of　children；　was　fat；　round；　and

jolly；　whereas　Thuillier；　〃the　beau　of　the　Empire〃　without　apparent

anxieties　and　always　at　leisure；　was　slender　and　thin；　with　a　livid

face　and　a　melancholy　air。　〃We　never　know；〃　said　Rabourdin；　speaking

of　the　two　men；　〃whether　our　friendships　are　born　of　likeness　or　of

contrast。〃



Unlike　these　Siamese　twins；　two　other　clerks；　Chazelle　and　Paulmier；

were　forever　squabbling。　One　smoked；　the　other　took　snuff；　and　the

merits　of　their　respective　use　of　tobacco　were　the　origin　of　ceaseless

disputes。　Chazelle's　home；　which　was　tyrannized　over　by　a　wife；

furnished　a　subject　of　endless　ridicule　to　Paulmier；　whereas　Paulmier；

a　bachelor；　often　half…starved　like　Vimeux；　with　ragged　clothes　and

half…concealed　penury　was　a　fruitful　source　of　ridicule　to　Chazelle。

Both　were　beginning　to　show　a　protuberant　stomach；　Chazelle's；　which

was　round　and　projecting；　had　the　impertinence；　so　Bixiou　said；　to

enter　the　room　first；　Paulmier's　corporation　spread　to　right　and　left。

A　favorite　amusement　with　Bixiou　was　to　measure　them　quarterly。　The

two　clerks；　by　dint　of　quarrelling　over　the　details　of　their　lives；

and　washing　much　of　their　dirty　linen　at　the　office；　had　obtained　the

disrepute　which　they　merited。　〃Do　you　take　me　for　a　Chazelle？〃　was　a

frequent　saying　that　served　to　end　many　an　annoying　discussion。



Monsieur　Poiret　junior；　called　〃junior〃　to　distinguish　him　from　his

brother　Monsieur　Poiret　senior　（now　living　in　the　Maison　Vanquer；

where　Poiret　junior　sometimes　dined；　intending　to　end　his　days　in　the

same　retreat）；　had　spent　thirty　years　in　the　Civil　Service。　Nature

herself　is　not　so　fixed　and　unvarying　in　her　evolutions　as　was　Poiret

junior　in　all　the　acts　of　his　daily　life；　he　always　laid　his　things　in

precisely　the　same　place；　put　his　pen　in　the　same　rack；　sat　down　in

his　seat　at　the　same　hour；　warmed　himself　at　the　stove　at　the　same

moment　of　the　day。　His　sole　vanity　consisted　in　wearing　an　infallible

watch；　timed　daily　at　the　Hotel　de　Ville　as　he　passed　it　on　his　way　to

the　office。　From　six　to　eight　o'clock　in　the　morning　he　kept　the　books

of　a　large　shop　in　the　rue　Saint…Antoine；　and　from　six　to　eight

o'clock　in　the　evening　those　of　the　Maison　Camusot；　in　the　rue　des

Bourdonnais。　He　thus　earned　three　thousand　francs　a　year；　counting　his

salary　from　the　government。　In　a　few　months　his　term　of　service　would

be　up；　when　he　would　retire　on　a　pension；　he　therefore　showed　the

utmost　indifference　to　the　political　intrigues　of　the　bureaus。　Like

his　elder　brother；　to　whom　retirement　from　active　service　had　proved　a

fatal　blow；　he　would　probably　grow　an　old　man　when　he　could　no　longer

come　from　his　home　to　the　ministry；　sit　in　the　same　chair　and　copy　a

certain　number　of　pages。　Poiret's　eyes　were　dim；　his　glance　weak　and

lifeless；　his　skin　discolored　and　wrinkled；　gray　in　tone　and　speckled

with　bluish　dots；　his　nose　flat；　his　lips　drawn　inward　to　the　mouth；

where　a　few　defective　teeth　still　lingered。　His　gray　hair；　flattened

to　the　head　by　the　pressure　of　his　hat；　gave　him　the　look　of　an

ecclesiastic；a　resemblance　he　would　scarcely　have　liked；　for　he

hated　priests　and　clergy；　though　he　could　give　no　reasons　for　his

anti…religious　views。　This　antipathy；　however；　did　not　prevent　him

from　being　extremely　attached　to　whatever　administration　happened　to

be　in　power。　He　never　buttoned　his　old　green　coat；　even　on　the　coldest

days；　and　he　always　wore　shoes　with　ties；　and　black　trousers。



No　human　life　was　ever　lived　so　thoroughly　by　rule。　Poiret　kept　all

his　receipted　bills；　even　the　most　trifling；　and　all　his　account…

books；　wrapped　in　old　shirts　and　put　away　according　to　their

respective　years　from　the　time　of　his　entrance　at　the　ministry。　Rough

copies　of　his　letters　were　dated　and　put　away　in　a　box；　ticketed　〃My

Correspondence。〃　He　dined　at　the　same　restaurant　（the　Sucking　Calf　in

the　place　du　Chatelet）；　and　sat　in　the　same　place；　which　the　waiters

kept　for　him。　He　never　gave　five　minutes　more　time　to　the　shop　in　the

rue　Saint　Antoine　than　justly　belonged　to　it；　and　at　half…past　eight

precisely　he　reached　the　Cafe　David；　where　he　breakfasted　and　remained

till　eleven。　There　he　listened　to　political　discussions；　his　arms

crossed　on　his　cane；　his　chin　in　his　right　hand；　never　saying　a　word。

The　dame　du　comptoir；　the　only　woman　to　whom　he　ever　spoke　with

pleasure；　was　the　sole　confidant　of　the　little　events　of　his　life；　for

his　seat　was　close　to　her　counter。　He　played　dominoes；　the　only　game

he　was　capable　of　understanding。　When　his　partners　did　not　happen　to

be　present；　he　usually　went　to　sleep　with　his　back　against　the

wainscot；　holding　a　newspaper　in　his　hand；　the　wooden　file　resting　on

the　marble　of　his　table。　He　was　interested　in　the　buildings　going　up

in　Paris；　and　spent　his　Sundays　in　walking　about　to　examine　them。　He

was　often　heard　to　say；　〃I　saw　the　Louvre　emerge　from　its　rubbish；　I

saw　the　birth　of　the　place　du　Chatelet；　the　quai　aux　Fleurs　and　the

Markets。〃　He　and　his　brother；　both　born　at　Troyes；　were　sent　in　youth

to　serve　their　apprenticeship　in　a　government　office。　Their　mother

made　herself　notorious　by　misconduct；　and　the　two　brothers　had　the

grief　of　hearing　of　her　death　in　the　hospital　at　Troyes；　although　they

had　frequently　sent　money　for　her　support。　This　event　led　them　both

not　only　to　abjure　marriage；　but　to　feel　a　horror　of　children；　ill　at

ease　with　them；　they　feared　them　as　others　fear　madmen；　and　watched

them　with　haggard　eyes。



Since　the　day　when　he　first　came　to　Paris　Poiret　junior　had　never　gone

outside　the　city。　He　began　at　that　time　to　keep　a　journal　of　his　life；

in　which　he　noted　down　all　the　striking　events　of　his　day。　Du　Bruel

told　him　that　Lord　Byron　did　the　same　thing。　This　likeness　filled

Poiret　junior　with　delight；　and　led　him　to　buy　the　works　of　Lord

Byron；　translated　by　Chastopalli；　of　which　he　did　not　understand　a

word。　At　the　office　he　was　often　seen　in　a　melancholy　attitude；　as

though　absorbed　in　thought；　when　in　fact　he　was　thinking　of　nothing　at

all。　He　did　not　know　a　single　person　in　the　house　where　he　lived；　and

always　carried　the　keys　of　his　apartment　about　with　him。　On　New…Year's

day　he　went　round　and　left　his　own　cards　on　all　the　clerks　of　the

division。　Bixiou　took　it　into　his　head　on　one　of　the　hottest　of　dog…

days　to　put　a　layer　of　lard　under　the　lining　of　a　certain　old　hat

which　Poiret　junior　（he　was；　by　the　bye；　fifty…two　years　old）　had　worn

for　the　last　nine　years。　Bixiou；　who　had　never　seen　any　other　hat　on

Poiret's　head；　dreamed　of　it　and　declared　he　tasted　it　in　his　food；　he

therefore　resolved；　in　the　interests　of　his　digestion；　to　relieve　the

bureau　of　the　sight　of　that　amorphous　old　hat。　Poiret　junior　left　the

office　regularly　at　four　o'clock。　As　he　walked　along；　the　sun's　rays

reflected　from　the　pavements　and　walls　produced　a　tropical　heat；　he

felt　that　his　head　was　inundated；he；　who　never　perspired！　Feeling

that　he　was　ill；　or　on　the　point　of　being　so；　instead　of　going　as

usual　to　the　Sucking　Calf　he　went　home；　drew　out　from　his　desk　the

journal　of　his　life；　and　recorded　the　fact　in　the　following　manner：



　　〃To…day；　July　3；　1823；　overtaken　by　extraordinary　perspiration；　a

　　sign；　perhaps；　of　the　sweating…sickness；　a　malady　which　prevails

　　in　Champagne。　I　am　about　to　consult　Doctor　Haudry。　The　disease

　　first　appeared　as　I　reached　the　highest　part　of　the　quai　des

　　Ecoles。〃



Suddenly；　having　taken　off　his　hat；　he　became　aware　that　the

mysterious　sweat　had　some　cause　independent　of　his　own　person。　He

wiped　his　face；　examined　the　hat；　and　could　find　nothing；　for　he　did

not　venture　to　take　out　the　lining。　All　this　he　noted　in　his

journal：



　　〃Carried　my　hat　to　the　Sieur　Tournan；　hat…maker　in　the　rue　Saint…

　　Martin；　for　the　reason　that　I　suspect　some　unknown　cause　for　this

　　perspiration；　which；　in　that　case；　might　not　be　perspiration；　but；

　　possibly；　the　effect　of　something　lately　added；　or　formerly　done；

　　to　my　hat。〃



Monsieur　Tournan　at　once　informed　his　customer　of　the　presence　of　a

greasy　substance；　obtained　by　the　trying…out　of　the　fat　of　a　pig　or

sow。　The　next　day　Poiret　appeared　at　the　office　with　another　hat；　lent

by　Monsieur　Tournan　while　a　new　one　was　making；　but　he　did　not　sleep

that　night　until　he　had　added　the　following　sentence　to　the　preceding

entries　in　his　journal：　〃It　is　asserted　that　my　hat　contained　lard；

the　fat　of　a　pig。〃



This　inexplicable　fact　occupied　the　intellect　of　Poiret　junior　for　the

space　of　two　weeks；　and　he　never　knew　how　the　phenomenon　was　produced。

The　clerks　told　him　tales　of　showers　of　frogs；　and　other　dog…day

wonders；　also　the　startling　fact　that　an　imprint　of　the　head　of

Napoleon　had　been　found　in　the　root　of　a　young　elm；　with　other

eccentricities　of　natural　history。　Vimeux　informed　him　that　one　day

his　hathis；　Vimeux'shad　stained　his　forehead　black；　and　that　hat…

makers　were　in　the　habit　of　using　drugs。　After　that　Poiret　paid　many

visits　to　Monsieur　Tournan　to　inquire　into　his　methods　of　manufacture。



In　the　Rabourdin　bureau　was　a　clerk　who　played　the　man　of　courage　and

audacity；　professed　the　opinions　of　the　Left　centre；　and　rebelled

against　the　tyrannies　of　Baudoyer　as　exercised　upon　what　he　called　the

unhappy　slaves　of　that　office。　His　name　was　Fleury。　He　boldly

subscribed　to　an　opposition　newspaper；　wore　a　gray　hat　with　a　broad

brim；　red　bands　on　his　blue　trousers；　a　blue　waistcoat　with　gilt

buttons；　and　a　surtout　coat　crossed　over　the　breast　like　that　of　a

quartermaster　of　gendarmerie。　Though　unyielding　in　his　opinions；　he

continued　to　be　employed　in　the　service；　all　the　while　predicting　a

fatal　end　to　a　government　which　persisted　in　upholding　religion。　He

openly　avowed　his　sympathy　for　Napoleon；　now　that　the　death　of　that

great　man　put　an　end　to　the　laws　enacted　against　〃the　partis