the lily of the valley-第29章

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fires　of　heaven　were　visiting　these　faithful　servants　of　God　as　they

knelt　there　without　distinction　of　rank；　in　the　equality　which　heaven

demands。　Thinking　back　to　the　days　of　the　patriarchs　my　mind　still

further　magnified　this　scene；　so　grand　in　its　simplicity。



The　children　said　good…night；　the　servants　bowed；　the　countess　went

away　holding　a　child　by　each　hand；　and　I　returned　to　the　salon　with

the　count。



〃We　provide　you　with　salvation　there；　and　hell　here；〃　he　said；

pointing　to　the　backgammon…board。



The　countess　returned　in　half　an　hour；　and　brought　her　frame　near　the

table。



〃This　is　for　you；〃　she　said；　unrolling　the　canvas；　〃but　for　the　last

three　months　it　has　languished。　Between　that　rose　and　this　heartsease

my　poor　child　was　ill。〃



〃Come；　come；〃　said　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；　〃don't　talk　of　that　any　more。

Sixfive；　emissary　of　the　king！〃



When　alone　in　my　room　I　hushed　my　breathing　that　I　might　hear　her

passing　to　and　fro　in　hers。　She　was　calm　and　pure；　but　I　was　lashed

with　maddening　ideas。　〃Why　should　she　not　be　mine？〃　I　thought；

〃perhaps　she　is；　like　me；　in　this　whirlwind　of　agitation。〃　At　one

o'clock；　I　went　down；　walking　noiselessly；　and　lay　before　her　door。

With　my　ear　pressed　to　a　chink　I　could　hear　her　equable；　gentle

breathing；　like　that　of　a　child。　When　chilled　to　the　bone　I　went　back

to　bed　and　slept　tranquilly　till　morning。　I　know　not　what　prenatal

influence；　what　nature　within　me；　causes　the　delight　I　take　in　going

to　the　brink　of　precipices；　sounding　the　gulf　of　evil；　seeking　to　know

its　depths；　feeling　its　icy　chill；　and　retreating　in　deep　emotion。

That　hour　of　night　passed　on　the　threshold　of　her　door　where　I　wept

with　rage；though　she　never　knew　that　on　the　morrow　her　foot　had　trod

upon　my　tears　and　kisses；　on　her　virtue　first　destroyed　and　then

respected；　cursed　and　adored；that　hour；　foolish　in　the　eyes　of　many；

was　nevertheless　an　inspiration　of　the　same　mysterious　impulse　which

impels　the　soldier。　Many　have　told　me　they　have　played　their　lives

upon　it；　flinging　themselves　before　a　battery　to　know　if　they　could

escape　the　shot；　happy　in　thus　galloping　into　the　abyss　of

probabilities；　and　smoking　like　Jean　Bart　upon　the　gunpowder。



The　next　day　I　went　to　gather　flowers　and　made　two　bouquets。　The　count

admired　them；　though　generally　nothing　of　the　kind　appealed　to　him。

The　clever　saying　of　Champcenetz；　〃He　builds　dungeons　in　Spain；〃

seemed　to　have　been　made　for　him。



I　spent　several　days　at　Clochegourde；　going　but　seldom　to　Frapesle；

where；　however；　I　dined　three　times。　The　French　army　now　occupied

Tours。　Though　my　presence　was　health　and　strength　to　Madame　de

Mortsauf；　she　implored　me　to　make　my　way　to　Chateauroux；　and　so　round

by　Issoudun　and　Orleans　to　Paris　with　what　haste　I　could。　I　tried　to

resist；　but　she　commanded　me；　saying　that　my　guardian　angel　spoke。　I

obeyed。　Our　farewell　was；　this　time；　dim　with　tears；　she　feared　the

allurements　of　the　life　I　was　about　to　live。　Is　it　not　a　serious　thing

to　enter　the　maelstrom　of　interests；　passions；　and　pleasures　which

make　Paris　a　dangerous　ocean　for　chaste　love　and　purity　of　conscience？

I　promised　to　write　to　her　every　night；　relating　the　events　and

thoughts　of　the　day；　even　the　most　trivial。　When　I　gave　the　promise

she　laid　her　head　on　my　shoulder　and　said：　〃Leave　nothing　out；

everything　will　interest　me。〃



She　gave　me　letters　for　the　duke　and　duchess；　which　I　delivered　the

second　day　after　my　return。



〃You　are　in　luck；〃　said　the　duke；　〃dine　here　to…day；　and　go　with　me

this　evening　to　the　Chateau；　your　fortune　is　made。　The　king　spoke　of

you　this　morning；　and　said；　'He　is　young；　capable；　and　trustworthy。'

His　Majesty　added　that　he　wished　he　knew　whether　you　were　living　or

dead；　and　in　what　part　of　France　events　had　thrown　you　after　you　had

executed　your　mission　so　ably。〃



That　night　I　was　appointed　master　of　petitions　to　the　council　of

State；　and　I　also　received　a　private　and　permanent　place　in　the

employment　of　Louis　XVIII。　himself；a　confidential　position；　not

highly　distinguished；　but　without　any　risks；　a　position　which　put　me

at　the　very　heart　of　the　government　and　has　been　the　source　of　all　my

subsequent　prosperity。　Madame　de　Mortsauf　had　judged　rightly。　I　now

owed　everything　to　her；　power　and　wealth；　happiness　and　knowledge；　she

guided　and　encouraged　me；　purified　my　heart；　and　gave　to　my　will　that

unity　of　purpose　without　which　the　powers　of　youth　are　wasted。　Later　I

had　a　colleague；　we　each　served　six　months。　We　were　allowed　to　supply

each　other's　place　if　necessary；　we　had　rooms　at　the　Chateau；　a

carriage；　and　large　allowances　for　travelling　when　absent　on　missions。

Strange　position！　We　were　the　secret　disciples　of　a　monarch　in　a

policy　to　which　even　his　enemies　have　since　done　signal　justice；　alone

with　us　he　gave　judgment　on　all　things；　foreign　and　domestic；　yet　we

had　no　legitimate　influence；　often　we　were　consulted　like　Laforet　by

Moliere；　and　made　to　feel　that　the　hesitations　of　long　experience　were

confirmed　or　removed　by　the　vigorous　perceptions　of　youth。



In　other　respects　my　future　was　secured　in　a　manner　to　satisfy

ambition。　Beside　my　salary　as　master　of　petitions；　paid　by　the　budget

of　the　council　of　State；　the　king　gave　me　a　thousand　francs　a　month

from　his　privy　purse；　and　often　himself　added　more　to　it。　Though　the

king　knew　well　that　no　young　man　of　twenty…three　could　long　bear　up

under　the　labors　with　which　he　loaded　me；　my　colleague；　now　a　peer　of

France；　was　not　appointed　till　August；　1817。　The　choice　was　a

difficult　one；　our　functions　demanded　so　many　capabilities　that　the

king　was　long　in　coming　to　a　decision。　He　did　me　the　honor　to　ask

which　of　the　young　men　among　whom　he　was　hesitating　I　should　like　for

an　associate。　Among　them　was　one　who　had　been　my　school…fellow　at

Lepitre's；　I　did　not　select　him。　His　Majesty　asked　why。



〃The　king；〃　I　replied；　〃chooses　men　who　are　equally　faithful；　but

whose　capabilities　differ。　I　choose　the　one　whom　I　think　the　most

able；　certain　that　I　shall　always　be　able　to　get　on　with　him。〃



My　judgment　coincided　with　that　of　the　king；　who　was　pleased　with　the

sacrifice　I　had　made。　He　said　on　this　occasion；　〃You　are　to　be　the

chief〃；　and　he　related　these　circumstances　to　my　colleague；　who

became；　in　return　for　the　service　I　had　done　him；　my　good　friend。　The

consideration　shown　to　me　by　the　Duc　de　Lenoncourt　set　the　tone　of

that　which　I　met　with　in　society。　To　have　it　said；　〃The　king　takes　an

interest　in　the　young　man；　that　young　man　has　a　future；　the　king　likes

him；〃　would　have　served　me　in　place　of　talents；　and　it　now　gave　to　the

kindly　welcome　accorded　to　youth　a　certain　respect　that　is　only　given

to　power。　In　the　salon　of　the　Duchesse　de　Lenoncourt　and　also　at　the

house　of　my　sister　who　had　just　married　the　Marquis　de　Listomere；　son

of　the　old　lady　in　the　Ile　St。　Louis；　I　gradually　came　to　know　the

influential　personages　of　the　Faubourg　St。　Germain。



Henriette　herself　put　me　at　the　heart　of　the　circle　then　called　〃le

Petit　Chateau〃　by　the　help　of　her　great…aunt；　the　Princesse　de

Blamont…Chauvry；　to　whom　she　wrote　so　warmly　in　my　behalf　that　the

princess　immediately　sent　for　me。　I　cultivated　her　and　contrived　to

please　her；　and　she　became；　not　my　protectress　but　a　friend；　in　whose

kindness　there　was　something　maternal。　The　old　lady　took　pains　to　make

me　intimate　with　her　daughter　Madame　d'Espard；　with　the　Duchesse　de

Langeais；　the　Vicomtesse　de　Beauseant；　and　the　Duchesse　de

Maufrigneuse；　women　who　held　the　sceptre　of　fashion；　and　who　were　all

the　more　gracious　to　me　because　I　made　no　pretensions　and　was　always

ready　to　be　useful　and　agreeable　to　them。　My　brother　Charles；　far　from

avoiding　me；　now　began　to　lean　upon　me；　but　my　rapid　success　roused　a

secret　jealousy　in　his　mind　which　in　after　years　caused　me　great

vexation。　My　father　and　mother；　surprised　by　a　triumph　so　unexpected；

felt　their　vanity　flattered；　and　received　me　at　last　as　a　son。　But

their　feeling　was　too　artificial；　I　might　say　false；　to　let　their

present　treatment　have　much　influence　upon　a　sore　heart。　Affectations

stained　with　selfishness　win　little　sympathy；　the　heart　abhors

calculations　and　profits　of　all　kinds。



I　wrote　regularly　to　Henriette；　who　answered　by　two　letters　a　month。

Her　spirit　hovered　over　me；　her　thoughts　traversed　space　and　made　the

atmosphere　around　me　pure。　No　woman　could　captivate　me。　The　king

noticed　my　reserve；　and　as；　in　this　respect；　he　belonged　to　the　school

of　Louis　XV。；　he　called　me；　in　jest；　Mademoiselle　de　Vandenesse；　but

my　conduct　pleased　him。　I　am　convinced　that　the　habit　of　patience　I

acquired　in　my　childhood　and　practised　at　Clochegourde　had　much　to　do

in　my　winning　the　favor　of　the　king；　who　was　always　most　kind　to　me。

He　no　doubt　took　a　fancy　to　read　my　letters；　for　he　soon　gave　up　his

notion　of　my　life　as　that　of　a　young　girl。　One　day　when　the　duke　was

on　duty；　and　I　was　writing　at　the　king's　dictation；　the　latter

suddenly　remarked；　in　that　fine；　silvery　voice　of　his；　to　which　he

could　give；　when　he　chose；　the　biting　tone　of　epigram：



〃So　that　poor　devil　of　a　Mortsauf　persists　in　living？〃



〃Yes；〃　replied　the　duke。



〃Madame　de　Mortsauf　is　an　angel；　whom　I　should　like　to　see　at　my

court；〃　continued　the　king；　〃but　if　I　cannot　manage　it；　my　chancellor

here；〃　turning　to　me；　〃may　be　more　fortunate。　You　are　to　have　six

months'　leave；　I　have　decided　on　giving　you　the　young　man　we　spoke　of

yesterday　as　colleague。　Amuse　yourself　at　Clochegourde；　friend　Cato！〃

and　he　laughed　as　he　had　himself　wheeled　out　of　the　room。



I　flew　like　a　swallow　to　Touraine。　For　the　first　time　I　was　to　show

myself　to　my　beloved；　not　merely　a　little　less　insignificant；　but

actually　in　the　guise　of　an　elegant　young　man；　whose　manners　had　been

formed　in　the　best　salons；　his　education　finished　by　gracious　women；

who　had　found　at　last　a　compensation　for　all　his　sufferings；　and　had

put　to　use　the　experience　given　to　him　by　the　purest　angel　to　whom

heaven　had　ever　committed　the　care　of　a　child。　You　know　how　my　mother

had　equipped　me　for　my　three　months'　visit　at　Frapesle。　When　I　reached

Clochegourde　after　fulfilling　my　mission　in　Vendee；　I　was　dressed　like

a　huntsman；　I　wore　a　jacket　with　white　and　red　buttons；　striped

trousers；　leathern　gaiters　and　shoes。　Tramping　through　underbrush　had

so　injured　my　clothes　that　the　count　was　obliged　to　lend　me　linen。　On

the　present　occasion；　two　years'　residence　in　Paris；　constant

intercourse　with　the　king；　the　habits　of　a　life　at　ease；　my　completed

growth；　a　youthful　countenance；　which　derived　a　lustre　from　the

placidity　of　the　soul　within　magnetically　united　with　the　pure　soul

that　beamed　on　me　from　Clochegourde；all　these　things　combined　had

transformed　me。　I　was　self…possessed　without　conceit；　inwardly　pleased

to　find　myself；　in　spite　of　my　years；　at　the　summit　of　affa