the innocence of father brown-第13章

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mes　Blount。　　With　him　also　was　the　more　insignificant　figure　of　the　priest　from　the　neighbouring　Roman　Church；　for　the　colonel's　late　wife　had　been　a　Catholic；　and　the　children；　as　is　common　in　such　cases；　had　been　trained　to　follow　her。　　Everything　seemed　undistinguished　about　the　priest；　even　down　to　his　name；　which　was　Brown；　yet　the　colonel　had　always　found　something　companionable　about　him；　and　frequently　asked　him　to　such　family　gatherings。　　　　　In　the　large　entrance　hall　of　the　house　there　was　ample　room　even　for　Sir　Leopold　and　the　removal　of　his　wraps。　　Porch　and　vestibule；　indeed；　were　unduly　large　in　proportion　to　the　house；　and　formed；　as　it　were；　a　big　room　with　the　front　door　at　one　end；　and　the　bottom　of　the　staircase　at　the　other。　　In　front　of　the　large　hall　fire；　over　which　hung　the　colonel's　sword；　the　process　was　completed　and　the　company；　including　the　saturnine　Crook；　presented　to　Sir　Leopold　Fischer。　　That　venerable　financier；　however；　still　seemed　struggling　with　portions　of　his　well…lined　attire；　and　at　length　produced　from　a　very　interior　tail…coat　pocket；　a　black　oval　case　which　he　radiantly　explained　to　be　his　Christmas　present　for　his　god…daughter。　　With　an　unaffected　vain…glory　that　had　something　disarming　about　it　he　held　out　the　case　before　them　all；　it　flew　open　at　a　touch　and　half…blinded　them。　　It　was　just　as　if　a　crystal　fountain　had　spurted　in　their　eyes。　　In　a　nest　of　orange　velvet　lay　like　three　eggs；　three　white　and　vivid　diamonds　that　seemed　to　set　the　very　air　on　fire　all　round　them。　　Fischer　stood　beaming　benevolently　and　drinking　deep　of　the　astonishment　and　ecstasy　of　the　girl；　the　grim　admiration　and　gruff　thanks　of　the　colonel；　the　wonder　of　the　whole　group。　　　　　〃I'll　put　'em　back　now；　my　dear；〃　said　Fischer；　returning　the　case　to　the　tails　of　his　coat。　　〃I　had　to　be　careful　of　'em　coming　down。　　They're　the　three　great　African　diamonds　called　‘The　Flying　Stars；'　because　they've　been　stolen　so　often。　　All　the　big　criminals　are　on　the　track；　but　even　the　rough　men　about　in　the　streets　and　hotels　could　hardly　have　kept　their　hands　off　them。　I　might　have　lost　them　on　the　road　here。　　It　was　quite　possible。〃　　　　　〃Quite　natural；　I　should　say；〃　growled　the　man　in　the　red　tie。　〃I　shouldn't　blame　'em　if　they　had　taken　'em。　　When　they　ask　for　bread；　and　you　don't　even　give　them　a　stone；　I　think　they　might　take　the　stone　for　themselves。〃　　　　　〃I　won't　have　you　talking　like　that；〃　cried　the　girl；　who　was　in　a　curious　glow。　　〃You've　only　talked　like　that　since　you　became　a　horrid　what's…his…name。　　You　know　what　I　mean。　　What　do　you　call　a　man　who　wants　to　embrace　the　chimney…sweep？〃　　　　　〃A　saint；〃　said　Father　Brown。　　　　　〃I　think；〃　said　Sir　Leopold；　with　a　supercilious　smile；　〃that　Ruby　means　a　Socialist。〃　　　　　〃A　radical　does　not　mean　a　man　who　lives　on　radishes；〃　remarked　Crook；　with　some　impatience；　and　a　Conservative　does　not　mean　a　man　who　preserves　jam。　　Neither；　I　assure　you；　does　a　Socialist　mean　a　man　who　desires　a　social　evening　with　the　chimney…sweep。　　A　Socialist　means　a　man　who　wants　all　the　chimneys　swept　and　all　the　chimney…sweeps　paid　for　it。〃　　　　　〃But　who　won't　allow　you；〃　put　in　the　priest　in　a　low　voice；　〃to　own　your　own　soot。〃　　　　　Crook　looked　at　him　with　an　eye　of　interest　and　even　respect。　〃Does　one　want　to　own　soot？〃　he　asked。　　　　　〃One　might；〃　answered　Brown；　with　speculation　in　his　eye。　〃I've　heard　that　gardeners　use　it。　　And　I　once　made　six　children　happy　at　Christmas　when　the　conjuror　didn't　come；　entirely　with　sootapplied　externally。〃　　　　　〃Oh；　splendid；〃　cried　Ruby。　　〃Oh；　I　wish　you'd　do　it　to　this　company。〃　　　　　The　boisterous　Canadian；　Mr。　Blount；　was　lifting　his　loud　voice　in　applause；　and　the　astonished　financier　his　（in　some　considerable　deprecation）；　when　a　knock　sounded　at　the　double　front　doors。　　The　priest　opened　them；　and　they　showed　again　the　front　garden　of　evergreens；　monkey…tree　and　all；　now　gathering　gloom　against　a　gorgeous　violet　sunset。　　The　scene　thus　framed　was　so　coloured　and　quaint；　like　a　back　scene　in　a　play；　that　they　forgot　a　moment　the　insignificant　figure　standing　in　the　door。　　He　was　dusty…looking　and　in　a　frayed　coat；　evidently　a　common　messenger。　　〃Any　of　you　gentlemen　Mr。　Blount？〃　he　asked；　and　held　forward　a　letter　doubtfully。　　Mr。　Blount　started；　and　stopped　in　his　shout　of　assent。　　Ripping　up　the　envelope　with　evident　astonishment　he　read　it；　his　face　clouded　a　little；　and　then　cleared；　and　he　turned　to　his　brother…in…law　and　host。　　　　　〃I'm　sick　at　being　such　a　nuisance；　colonel；〃　he　said；　with　the　cheery　colonial　conventions；　〃but　would　it　upset　you　if　an　old　acquaintance　called　on　me　here　tonight　on　business？　　In　point　of　fact　it's　Florian；　that　famous　French　acrobat　and　comic　actor；　I　knew　him　years　ago　out　West　（he　was　a　French…Canadian　by　birth）；　and　he　seems　to　have　business　for　me；　though　I　hardly　guess　what。〃　　　　　〃Of　course；　of　course；〃　replied　the　colonel　carelessly〃My　dear　chap；　any　friend　of　yours。　　No　doubt　he　will　prove　an　acquisition。〃　　　　　〃He'll　black　his　face；　if　that's　what　you　mean；〃　cried　Blount；　laughing。　　〃I　don't　doubt　he'd　black　everyone　else's　eyes。　　I　don't　care；　I'm　not　refined。　　I　like　the　jolly　old　pantomime　where　a　man　sits　on　his　top　hat。〃　　　　　〃Not　on　mine；　please；〃　said　Sir　Leopold　Fischer；　with　dignity。　　　　　〃Well；　well；〃　observed　Crook；　airily；　〃don't　let's　quarrel。　There　are　lower　jokes　than　sitting　on　a　top　hat。〃　　　　　Dislike　of　the　red…tied　youth；　born　of　his　predatory　opinions　and　evident　intimacy　with　the　pretty　godchild；　led　Fischer　to　say；　in　his　most　sarcastic；　magisterial　manner：　〃No　doubt　you　have　found　something　much　lower　than　sitting　on　a　top　hat。　　What　is　it；　pray？〃　　　　　〃Letting　a　top　hat　sit　on　you；　for　instance；〃　said　the　Socialist。　　　　　〃Now；　now；　now；〃　cried　the　Canadian　farmer　with　his　barbarian　benevolence；　〃don't　let's　spoil　a　jolly　evening。　　What　I　say　is；　let's　do　something　for　the　company　tonight。　　Not　blacking　faces　or　sitting　on　hats；　if　you　don't　like　thosebut　something　of　the　sort。　　Why　couldn't　we　have　a　proper　old　English　pantomime　clown；　columbine；　and　so　on。　　I　saw　one　when　I　left　England　at　twelve　years　old；　and　it's　blazed　in　my　brain　like　a　bonfire　ever　since。　　I　came　back　to　the　old　country　only　last　year；　and　I　find　the　thing's　extinct。　　Nothing　but　a　lot　of　snivelling　fairy　plays。　I　want　a　hot　poker　and　a　policeman　made　into　sausages；　and　they　give　me　princesses　moralising　by　moonlight；　Blue　Birds；　or　something。　　Blue　Beard's　more　in　my　line；　and　him　I　like　best　when　he　turned　into　the　pantaloon。〃　　　　　〃I'm　all　for　making　a　policeman　into　sausages；〃　said　John　Crook。　　〃It's　a　better　definition　of　Socialism　than　some　recently　given。　　But　surely　the　get…up　would　be　too　big　a　business。〃　　　　　〃Not　a　scrap；〃　cried　Blount；　quite　carried　away。　　〃A　harlequinade's　the　quickest　thing　we　can　do；　for　two　reasons。　First；　one　can　gag　to　any　degree；　and；　second；　all　the　objects　are　household　thingstables　and　towel…horses　and　washing　baskets；　and　things　like　that。〃　　　　　〃That's　true；〃　admitted　Crook；　nodding　eagerly　and　walking　about。　　〃But　I'm　afraid　I　can't　have　my　policeman's　uniform？　Haven't　killed　a　policeman　lately。〃　　　　　Blount　frowned　thoughtfully　a　space；　and　then　smote　his　thigh。　〃Yes；　we　can！〃　he　cried。　　〃I've　got　Florian's　address　here；　and　he　knows　every　costumier　in　London。　　I'll　phone　him　to　bring　a　police　dress　when　he　comes。〃　　And　he　went　bounding　away　to　the　telephone。　　　　　〃Oh；　it's　glorious；　godfather；〃　cried　Ruby；　almost　dancing。　〃I'll　be　columbine　and　you　shall　be　pantaloon。〃　　　　　The　millionaire　held　himself　stiff　with　a　sort　of　heathen　solemnity。　　〃I　think；　my　dear；〃　he　said；　〃you　must　get　someone　else　for　pantaloon。〃　　　　　〃I　will　be　pantaloon；　if　you　like；〃　said　Colonel　Adams；　taking　his　cigar　out　of　his　mouth；　and　speaking　for　the　first　and　last　time。　　　　　〃You　ought　to　have　a　statue；〃　cried　the　Canadian；　as　he　came　back；　radiant；　from　the　telephone。　　〃There；　we　are　all　fitted。　Mr。　Crook　shall　be　clown；　he's　a　journalist　and　knows　all　the　oldest　jokes。　　I　can　be　harlequin；　that　only　wants　long　legs　and　jumping　about。　　My　friend　Florian　'phones　he's　bringing　the　police　costume；　he's　changing　on　the　way。　　We　can　act　it　in　this　very　hall；　the　audience　sitting　on　those　broad　stairs　opposite；　one　row　above　another。　　These　front　doors　can　be　the　back　scene；　either　open　or　shut。　　Shut；　you　see　an　English　interior。　　Open；　a　moonlit　garden。　　It　all　goes　by　magic。〃　　And　snatching　a　chance　piece　of　billiard　chalk　from　his　pocket；　he　ran　it　across　the　hall　floor；　half…way　between　the　front　door　and　the　staircase；　to　mark　the　line　of　the　footlights。　　　　　How　even　such　a　banquet　of　bosh　was　got　ready　in　the　time　remained　a　riddle。　　But　they　went　at　it　with　that　mixture　of　recklessness　and　industry　that　lives　when　youth　is　in　a　house；　and　youth　was　in　that　house　that　night；　though　not　all　may　have　isolated　the　two　faces　and　hearts　from　which　it　flamed。　　As　always　happens；　the　invention　grew　wilder　and　wilder　through　the　very　tameness　of　the　bourgeois　conventions　from　which　it　had　to　create。　The　columbine　looked　charming　in　an　outstanding　skirt　that　strangely　resembled　the　large　lamp…shade　in　the　drawing…room。　　The　clown　and　pantaloon　made　themselves　white　with　flour　from　the　cook；　and　red　with　rouge　from　some　other　domestic；　who　remained　（like　all　true　Christian　benefactors）　anonymous。　　The　harlequin；　already　clad　in　silver　paper　out　of　cigar　boxes；　was；　with　difficulty；　prevented　from　smashing　the　old　Victorian　lustre　chandeliers；　that　he　might　cover　himself　with　resplendent　crystals。　　In　fact　he　would　certainly　have　done　so；　had　not　Ruby　unearthed　some　old　pantomime　paste　jewels　she　had　worn　at　a　fancy　dress　party　as　the　Queen　of　Diamonds。　　Indeed；　her　uncle；　James　Blount；　was　getting　almost　out　of　hand　in　his　excitement；　he　was　like　a　schoolboy。　　He　put　a　paper　donkey's　head　unexpectedly　on　Father　Brown；　who　bore　it　patiently；　and　even　found　some　private　manner　of　moving　his　ears。　　He　even　essayed　to　put　the　paper　donkey's　tail　to　the　coat…tails　of　Sir　Leopold　Fischer。　　This；　however；　was　frowned　down。　　〃Uncle　is　too　absurd；〃　cried　Ruby　to　Crook；　round　whose　shoulders　she　had　seriously　placed　a　string　of　sausages。　　〃Why　is　he　so　wild？〃　　　　　〃He　is　harlequin　to　your　columbine；〃　said　Crook。　　〃I　am　only　the　clown　who　makes　the　old　jokes。〃　　　　　〃I　wish　you　were　the　harlequin；〃　she　said；　and　left　the　string　of　sausages　swinging。　　　　　Father　Brown；　though　he　knew　every　detail　done　behind　the　scenes；　and　had　even　evoked　applause　by　his　transformation　of　a　pillow　into　a　pantomime　baby；　went　round　to　the　front　and　sat　among　the　audience　with　all　the　solemn　expectation　of　a　child　at　his　first　matinee。　　The　spectators　were　few；　relations；　one　or　two　local　friends；　and　the　servants；　Sir　Leopold　sat　in　the　front　seat；　his　full　and　still　fur…collared　figure　largely　obscuring　the　view　of　the　little　cleric　behind　him；　but　it　has　never　been　settled　by　artistic　authorities　whether　the　cleric　lost　much。　　The　pantomime　was　utterly　chaotic；　yet　not　contemptible；　there　ran　through　it　a　rage　of　improvisation　which　came　chiefly　from　Crook　the　clown。　　Commonly　he　was　a　clever　man；　and　he　was　inspired　tonight　with　a　wild　omniscience；　a　folly　wiser　than　the　world；　that　which　comes　to　a　young　man　who　has　seen　for　an　instant　a　particul