roughing it-第84章

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Mr。　Lynch　took　a　seat　near　the　window。　　J。　B。　Winters　sat　（at　first）　near
the　door；　and　began　his　remarks　essentially　as　follows：

〃I　have　come　here　to　exact　of　you　a　retraction；　in　black　and　white；　of
those　damnably　false　charges　which　you　have　preferred　against　me　in　that…
infamous　lying　sheet　of　yours；　and　you　must　declare　yourself　their
author；　that　you　published　them　knowing　them　to　be　false；　and　that　your
motives　were　malicious。〃

〃Hold；　Mr。　Winters。　　Your　language　is　insulting　and　your　demand　an
enormity。　　I　trust　I　was　not　invited　here　either　to　be　insulted　or
coerced。　　I　supposed　myself　here　by　invitation　of　Mr。　Lynch；　at　your
request。〃

〃Nor　did　I　come　here　to　insult　you。　　I　have　already　told　you　that　I　am
here　for　a　very　different　purpose。〃

〃Yet　your　language　has　been　offensive；　and　even　now　shows　strong
excitement。　　If　insult　is　repeated　I　shall　either　leave　the　room　or　call
in　Sheriff　Cummings；　whom　I　just　left　standing　and　waiting　for　me　outside
the　door。〃

〃No；　you　won't；　sir。　　You　may　just　as　well　understand　it　at　once　as　not。
Here　you　are　my　man；　and　I'll　tell　you　why！　　Months　ago　you　put　your
property　out　of　your　hands；　boasting　that　you　did　so　to　escape　losing　it
on　prosecution　for　libel。〃

〃It　is　true　that　I　did　convert　all　my　immovable　property　into　personal
property；　such　as　I　could　trust　safely　to　others；　and　chiefly　to　escape
ruin　through　possible　libel　suits。〃

〃Very　good；　sir。　　Having　placed　yourself　beyond　the　pale　of　the　law；　may
God　help　your　soul　if　you　DON'T　make　precisely　such　a　retraction　as　I
have　demanded。　　I've　got　you　now；　and　bybefore　you　can　get　out　of　this
room　you've　got　to　both　write　and　sign　precisely　the　retraction　I　have
demanded；　and　before　you　go；　anyhowyou…low…livedlying…；　I'll
teach　you　what　personal　responsibility　is　outside　of　the　law；　and；　by；
Sheriff　Cummings　and　all　the　friends　you've　got　in　the　world　besides；
can't　save　you；　you…；　etc。！　　No；　sir。　　I'm　alone　now；　and　I'm　prepared
to　be　shot　down　just　here　and　now　rather　than　be　villified　by　you　as　I
have　been；　and　suffer　you　to　escape　me　after　publishing　those　charges；
not　only　here　where　I　am　known　and　universally　respected；　but　where　I　am
not　personally　known　and　may　be　injured。〃

I　confess　this　speech；　with　its　terrible　and　but　too　plainly　implied
threat　of　killing　me　if　I　did　not　sign　the　paper　he　demanded；　terrified
me；　especially　as　I　saw　he　was　working　himself　up　to　the　highest　possible
pitch　of　passion；　and　instinct　told　me　that　any　reply　other　than　one　of
seeming　concession　to　his　demands　would　only　be　fuel　to　a　raging　fire；
so　I　replied：

〃Well；　if　I've　got　to　sign；〃　and　then　I　paused　some　time。　　Resuming；
I　said；　〃But；　Mr。　Winters；　you　are　greatly　excited。　　Besides；　I　see　you
are　laboring　under　a　total　misapprehension。　　It　is　your　duty　not　to
inflame　but　to　calm　yourself。　　I　am　prepared　to　show　you；　if　you　will
only　point　out　the　article　that　you　allude　to；　that　you　regard　as
'charges'　what　no　calm　and　logical　mind　has　any　right　to　regard　as　such。
Show　me　the　charges；　and　I　will　try；　at　all　events；　and　if　it　becomes
plain　that　no　charges　have　been　preferred；　then　plainly　there　can　be
nothing　to　retract；　and　no　one　could　rightly　urge　you　to　demand　a
retraction。　　You　should　beware　of　making　so　serious　a　mistake；　for
however　honest　a　man　may　be；　every　one　is　liable　to　misapprehend。
Besides　you　assume　that　I　am　the　author　of　some　certain　article　which　you
have　not　pointed　out。　　It　is　hasty　to　do　so。〃

He　then　pointed　to　some　numbered　paragraphs　in　a　TRIBUNE　article；　headed
〃What's　the　Matter　with　Yellow　Jacket？〃　saying　〃　That's　what　I　refer　to。〃

To　gain　time　for　general　reflection　and　resolution；　I　took　up　the　paper
and　looked　it　over　for　awhile；　he　remaining　silent；　and　as　I　hoped；
cooling。　　I　then　resumed　saying；　〃As　I　supposed。　　I　do　not　admit　having
written　that　article；　nor　have　you　any　right　to　assume　so　important　a
point；　and　then　base　important　action　upon　your　assumption。　　You　might
deeply　regret　it　afterwards。　　In　my　published　Address　to　the　People；　I
notified　the　world　that　no　information　as　to　the　authorship　of　any
article　would　be　given　without　the　consent　of　the　writer。　　I　therefore
cannot　honorably　tell　you　who　wrote　that　article；　nor　can　you　exact　it。〃

〃If　you　are　not　the　author；　then　I　do　demand　to　know　who　is？〃

〃I　must　decline　to　say。〃

〃Then；　by；　I　brand　you　as　its　author；　and　shall　treat　you　accordingly。〃

〃Passing　that　point；　the　most　important　misapprehension　which　I　notice
is；　that　you　regard　them　as　'charges'　at　all；　when　their　context；　both　at
their　beginning　and　end；　show　they　are　not。　　These　words　introduce　them：
'Such　an　investigation　＇just　before　indicated＇；　we　think　MIGHT　result　in
showing　some　of　the　following　points。'　Then　follow　eleven　specifications；
and　the　succeeding　paragraph　shows　that　the　suggested　investigation
'might　EXONERATE　those　who　are　generally　believed　guilty。'　You　see；
therefore；　the　context　proves　they　are　not　preferred　as　charges；　and　this
you　seem　to　have　overlooked。〃

While　making　those　comments；　Mr。　Winters　frequently　interrupted　me　in
such　a　way　as　to　convince　me　that　he　was　resolved　not　to　consider
candidly　the　thoughts　contained　in　my　words。　　He　insisted　upon　it　that
they　were　charges；　and　〃By；〃　he　would　make　me　take　them　back　as
charges；　and　he　referred　the　question　to　Philip　Lynch；　to　whom　I　then
appealed　as　a　literary　man；　as　a　logician；　and　as　an　editor；　calling　his
attention　especially　to　the　introductory　paragraph　just　before　quoted。
He　replied；　〃if　they　are　not　charges；　they　certainly　are　insinuations；〃
whereupon　Mr。　Winters　renewed　his　demands　for　retraction　precisely　such
as　he　had　before　named；　except　that　he　would　allow　me　to　state　who　did
write　the　article　if　I　did　not　myself；　and　this　time　shaking　his　fist　in
my　face　with　more　cursings　and　epithets。

When　he　threatened　me　with　his　clenched　fist；　instinctively　I　tried　to
rise　from　my　chair；　but　Winters　then　forcibly　thrust　me　down；　as　he　did
every　other　time　（at　least　seven　or　eight）；　when　under　similar　imminent
danger　of　bruising　by　his　fist　（or　for　aught　I　could　know　worse　than　that
after　the　first　stunning　blow）；　which　he　could　easily　and　safely　to
himself　have　dealt　me　so　long　as　he　kept　me　down　and　stood　over　me。

This　fact　it　was；　which　more　than　anything　else；　convinced　me　that　by
plan　and　plot　I　was　purposely　made　powerless　in　Mr。　Winters'　hands；　and
that　he　did　not　mean　to　allow　me　that　advantage　of　being　afoot；　which　he
possessed。　　Moreover；　I　then　became　convinced；　that　Philip　Lynch　（and　for
what　reason　I　wondered）　would　do　absolutely　nothing　to　protect　me　in　his
own　house。　　I　realized　then　the　situation　thoroughly。　　I　had　found　it
equally　vain　to　protest　or　argue；　and　I　would　make　no　unmanly　appeal　for
pity；　still　less　apologize。　　Yet　my　life　had　been　by　the　plainest
possible　implication　threatened。　　I　was　a　weak　man。　　I　was　unarmed。　　I
was　helplessly　down；　and　Winters　was　afoot　and　probably　armed。　　Lynch　was
the　only　〃witness。〃　　The　statements　demanded；　if　given　and　not　explained；
would　utterly　sink　me　in　my　own　self…respect；　in　my　family's　eyes；　and　in
the　eyes　of　the　community。　　On　the　other　hand；　should　I　give　the　author's
name　how　could　I　ever　expect　that　confidence　of　the　People　which　I　should
no　longer　deserve；　and　how　much　dearer　to　me　and　to　my　family　was　my　life
than　the　life　of　the　real　author　to　his　friends。　　Yet　life　seemed　dear
and　each　minute　that　remained　seemed　precious　if　not　solemn。　　I　sincerely
trust　that　neither　you　nor　any　of　your　readers；　and　especially　none　with
families；　may　ever　be　placed　in　such　seeming　direct　proximity　to　death
while　obliged　to　decide　the　one　question　I　was　compelled　to；　viz。：　What
should　I　doI；　a　man　of　family；　and　not　as　Mr。　Winters　is；　〃alone。〃
＇The　reader　is　requested　not　to　skip　the　following。M。　　T。：＇

STRATEGY　AND　MESMERISM。
To　gain　time　for　further　reflection；　and　hoping　that　by　a　seeming
acquiescence　I　might　regain　my　personal　liberty；　at　least　till　I　could
give　an　alarm；　or　take　advantage　of　some　momentary　inadvertence　of
Winters；　and　then　without　a　cowardly　flight　escape；　I　resolved　to　write　a
certain　kind　of　retraction；　but　previously　had　inwardly　decided

First。That　I　would　studiously　avoid　every　action　which　might　be
construed　into　the　drawing　of　a　weapon；　even　by　a　self…infuriated　man；　no
matter　what　amount　of　insult　might　be　heaped　upon　me；　for　it　seemed　to　me
that　this　great　excess　of　compound　profanity；　foulness　and　epithet　must
be　more　than　a　mere　indulgence；　and　therefore　must　have　some　object。
〃Surely　in　vain　the　net　is　spread　in　the　sight　of　any　bird。〃　　Therefore；
as　before　without　thought；　I　thereafter　by　intent　kept　my　hands　away　from
my　pockets；　and　generally　in　sight　and　spread　upon　my　knees。

Second。I　resolved　to　make　no　motion　with　my　arms　or　hands　which　could
possibly　be　construed　into　aggression。

Third。I　resolved　completely　to　govern　my　outward　manner　and　suppress
indignation。　　To　do　this；　I　must　govern　my　spirit。　　To　do　that；　by　force
of　imagination　I　was　obliged　like　actors　on　the　boards　to　resolve　myself
into　an　unnatural　mental　state　and　see　all　things　through　the　eyes　of　an
assumed　character。

Fourth。I　resolved　to　try　on　Winters；　silently；　and　unconsciously　to
himself　a　mesmeric　power　which　I　possess　over　certain　kinds　of　people；
and　which　at　times　I　have　found　to　work　even　in　the　dark　over　the　lower
animals。

Does　any　one　smile　at　these　last　counts？　　God　save　you　from　ever　being
obliged　to　beat　in　a　game　of　chess；　whose　stake　is　your　life；　you　having
but　four　poor　pawns　and　pieces　and　your　adversary　with　his　full　force
unshorn。　　But　if　you　are；　provided　you　have　any　strength　with　breadth　of
will；　do　not　despair。　　Though　mesmeric　power　may　not　save　you；　it　may
help　you；　try　it　at　all　events。　　In　this　instance　I　was　conscious　of
power　coming　into　me；　and　by　a　law　of　nature；　I　know　Winters　was
correspondingly　weakened。　　If　I　could　have　gained　more　time　I　am　sure　he
would　not　even　have　struck　me。

It　takes　time　both　to　form　such　resolutions　and　to　recite　them。　　That
time；　however；　I　gained　while　thinking　of　my　retraction；　which　I　first
wrote　in　pencil；　altering　it　from　time　to　time　till　I　got　it　to　suit　me；
my　aim　being　to　make　it　look　like　a　concession　to　demands；　while　in　fact
it　should　tersely　speak　the　truth　into　Mr。　Winters'　mind。　　When　it　was
finished；　I　copied　it　in　ink；　and　if　correctly　copied　from　my　first　draft
it　should　read　as　follows。　　In　copying　I　do　not　think　I　made　any　material
change。

COPY。
To　Philip　Lynch；　Editor　of　the　Gold　Hill　News：　I　learn　that　Gen。　John　B。
Winters　believes　the　following　（pasted　on）　clipping　from　the　PEOPLE'S
TRIBUNE　of　January　to　contain　distinct　charges　of　mine　against　him
personally；　and　that　as　such　he　desires　me　to　retract　them　unqualifiedly。

In　compliance　with　his　request；　permit　me　to　say　that；　although　Mr。
Winters　and　I　see　this　matter　differently；　in　view　of　his　strong　feelings
in　the　premises；　I　hereby　declare　that　I　do　not　know　those　〃charges〃　（if
such　they　are）　to　be　true；　and　I　hope　that　a　critical　examination　would
altogether　disprove　them。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CONRAD　WIE