stories of a western town-第13章

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t　for　more　than　half　a　century。　　They　were　not　gray；　like　Tilly's；　but　a　deep　violet；　with　black　eyelashes　and　eyebrows。　Black；　once；　had　been　the　hair　under　the　widow's　cap；　now　streaked　with　silver；　but　Jane　Louder's　skin　was　fresh　and　daintily　tinted　like　her　daughter's；　for　all　its　fine　wrinkles。　Her　voice　when　she　spoke　was　mellow　and　slow；　with　a　nervous　vibration　of　apology。　　〃Never　mind；　dear；〃　she　said；　〃I　was　just　reading　'bout　the　Russians。〃　〃I　KNEW　it！　　You　promised　me　you　wouldn't　cry　about　the　Russians　any　more。〃　〃I　know；　Tilly；　but　Alma　Brown　lent　this　to　me；　herself。　There's　a　beautiful　article　in　it　about　'The　Horrors　of　Hunger。'　It　would　make　your　heart　ache！　　I　wish　you　would　read　it；　Tilly。〃　〃No；　thank　you。　　I　don't　care　to　have　my　heart　ache。　I'm　not　going　to　read　any　more　horrors　about　the　Russians；　or　hear　them　either；　if　I　can　help　it。　　I　have　to　write　Mr。　Lossing's　letters　about　them；　and　that's　enough。　I've　given　all　I　can　afford；　and　you've　given　more　than　you　can　afford；　and　I　helped　get　up　the　subscription　at　the　shops。　I've　done　all　I　could；　and　now　I　ain't　going　to　have　my　feelings　harrowed　up　any　more；　when　it　won't　do　me　nor　the　Russians　a　mite　of　good。〃　〃But　I　cayn't　HELP　it；　Tilly。　　I　cayn't　take　any　comfort　in　my　meals；　thinking　of　that　awful　black　bread　the　poor　children　starve　rather　than　eat；　and；　Tilly；　they　ain't　so　dirty　as　some　folks　think！　I　read　in　a　magazine　how　they　have　GOT　to　bathe　twice　a　week　by　their　religion；　and　there's　a　bath…house　in　every　village。　Tilly；　do　you　know　how　much　money　they've　raised　here？〃　〃Over　three　thousand。　　This　town　is　the　greatest　town　for　giving　give　to　the　cholera　down　South；　give　to　Johnstown；　give　to　Grinnell；　give　to　cyclones；　give　to　fires。　_The　Freeman_　always　starts　up　a　subscription；　and　Mr。　Bayard　runs　the　thing；　and　Mr。　Lossing　always　gives。　　Mother；　I　tell　you　HE　makes　them　hustle　when　he　takes　hold。　　He's　the　chairman　here；　and　he　has　township　chairmen　appointed　for　every　township。　He's　so　popular　they　start　in　to　oblige　him；　and　then；　someway；　he　makes　them　all　interested。　　I　must　tell　you　of　a　funny　letter　he　had　to…day　from　a　Captain　Ferguson；　out　at　Baxter。　He's　a　rich　farmer　with　lots　of　influence　and　a　great　worker；　Mr。　Lossing　says。　　But　this　is　'most　word　for　word　what　he　wrote：　'Dear　Sir：　　I　am　sorry　for　the　Russians；　but　my　wife　is　down　with　the　la　grippe；　and　I　can't　get　a　hired　girl；　so　I　have　to　stay　with　her。　　If　you'll　get　me　a　hired　girl；　I'll　get　you　a　lot　of　money　for　the　Russians。'〃　〃Did　he　git　a　girl？　　I　mean　Mr。　Lossing。〃　〃No；　ma'am。　He　said　he'd　try　if　it　was　the　city；　but　it　was　easier　finding　gold…mines　than　girls　that　would　go　into　the　country。　See　here；　I'm　forgetting　your　presents。　　Mother；　you　look　real　dragged　andqueer！〃　〃It's　nothing；　jist　a　thought　kinder　struck　me　'bout'bout　that　girl。〃　Tilly　was　sorting　out　the　parcels　and　explaining　them；　at　the　end　of　her　task　her　mind　harked　back　to　an　old　grievance。　〃Mother；〃　said　she；　〃I've　been　thinking　for　a　long　time；　and　I've　made　up　my　mind。〃　〃Yes；　dearie。〃　　Mrs。　Louder's　eyes　grew　troubled。　She　knew　something　of　the　quality　of　Tilly's　mind；　which　resembled　her　father's　in　a　peculiar　immobility。　Once　let　her　decision　run　into　any　mould　（be　it　whatsoever　it　might）；　and　let　it　stiffen；　there　was　no　chance；　any　more　than　with　other　iron　things；　of　its　bending。　〃Positively　I　could　hardly　get　up　the　stairs　today；〃　said　Tilly　she　was　putting　her　jacket　and　hat　away　in　her　orderly　fashion；　of　necessity　her　back　was　to　Mrs。　Louder〃there　was　such　a　raft　of　people　wanting　to　send　stuff　and　messages　to　you。　You　are　just　working　yourself　to　death；　and；　mother；　I　am　convinced　we　have　_got　to　move！_〃　Mrs。　Louder　dropped　into　a　chair　and　gasped。　　The　baby；　who　had　fallen　asleep；　stirred　uneasily。　　It　was　not　a　pretty　child；　its　face　was　heavy；　its　little　cheeks　were　roughened　by　the　wind；　its　lower　lip　sagged；　its　chin　creased　into　the　semblance　of　a　fat　old　man's。　But　Jane　Louder　gazed　down　on　it　with　infinite　compassion。　She　stroked　its　head　as　she　spoke。　〃Tilly；〃　said　she；　〃I've　been　in　this　block；　Mrs。　Carleton　and　me；　ever　since　it　was　built；　and；　some　way；　between　us　we've　managed　to　keep　the　run　of　all　the　folks　in　it；　at　least　when　they　were　in　any　trouble。　　We've　worked　together　like　sisters。　She's　'Piscopal；　and　I　guess　I'm　Unitarian；　but　never　a　word　between　us。　We　tended　the　Willardses　through　diphtheria　and　the　Hopkinses　through　small…pox；　and　we　steamed　and　fumigated　the　rooms　together。　It　was　her　first　found　out　the　Dillses　were　letting　that　twelve…year…old　child　run　the　gasoline　stove；　and　she　threatened　to　tell　Mr。　Lossing；　and　they　begged　off；　and　when　it　exploded　we　put　it　out　together；　with　flour　out　of　her　flour…barrel；　for　the　poor；　shiftless　things　hadn't　half　a　sack　full　of　their　own；　and　her　and　me；　we　took　half　the　care　of　that　little　neglected　Ellis　baby　that　was　always　sitting　down　in　the　sticky　fly…paper；　poor　innocent　child。　He's　took　the　valedictory　at　the　High　School；　Tilly；　now。　No；　Tilly；　I　couldn't　bring　myself　to　leave　this　building；　where　I've　married　them；　and　buried　them；　and　born　them；　you　may　say；　being　with　so　many　of　their　mothers；　I　feel　like　they　was　all　my　children。　Don't　ASK　me。〃　Tilly's　head　went　upward　and　backward　with　a　little　dilatation　of　the　nostrils。　　〃Now；　mother；〃　said　she　in　a　voice　of　determined　gentleness；　〃just　listen　to　me。　Would　I　ask　you　to　do　anything　that　wouldn't　be　for　your　happiness？　I　have　found　a　real　pretty　house　up　on　Fifteenth　Street；　and　we'll　keep　house　together；　just　as　cosey；　and　have　a　woman　come　to　wash　and　iron　and　scrub；　so　it　won't　be　a　bit　hard；　and　be　right　on　the　street…cars；　and　you　won't　have　to　drudge　helping　Mrs。　Carleton　extra　times　with　her　restaurant。〃　〃But；　Tilly；〃　eagerly　interrupted　Mrs。　Louder；　〃you　know　I　dearly　love　to　cook；　and　she　PAYS　me。　　I　couldn't　feel　right　to　take　any　of　the　pension　money；　or　the　little　property　your　father　left　me；　away　from　the　house　expenses；　but　what　I　earn　myself；　it　is　SUCH　a　comfort　to　give　away　out　of　THAT。〃　Tilly　ran　over　and　kissed　the　agitated　face。　　〃You　dear；　generous　mother！〃　cried　she；　〃I'LL　give　you　all　the　money　you　want　to　spend　or　give。　I　got　another　rise　in　my　salary　of　five　a　month。　　Don't　you　worry。〃　〃You　ain't　thinking　of　doing　anything　right　away；　Tilly？〃　〃Don't　you　think　it's　best　done　and　over　with；　after　we've　decided；　mother？　　You　have　worked　so　hard　all　your　life　I　want　to　give　you　some　ease　and　peace　now。〃　〃But；　Tilly；　I　love　to　work；　I　wouldn't　be　happy　to　do　nothing；　and　I'd　get　so　fleshy！〃　Tilly　only　laughed。　　She　did　not　crave　the　show　of　authority。　Let　her　but　have　her　own　way；　she　would　never　flaunt　her　victories。　She　was　imperious；　but　she　was　not　arrogant。　　For　months　she　had　been　pondering　how　to　give　her　mother　an　easier　life；　and　she　set　the　table　for　supper；　in　a　filial　glow　of　satisfaction；　never　dreaming　that　her　mother；　in　the　kitchen；　was　keeping　her　head　turned　from　the　stove　lest　she　should　cry　into　the　fried　ham　and　stewed　potatoes。　　But；　at　a　sudden　thought；　Jane　Louder　laid　her　big　spoon　down　to　wipe　her　eyes。　〃Here　you　are；　Jane　Louder〃thus　she　addressed　herself〃mourning　and　grieving　to　leave　your　friends　and　be　laid　aside　for　a　useless　old　woman；　and　jist　be　taken　care　of；　and　you　clean　forgetting　the　chance　the　Lord　gives　you　to　help　more'n　you　ever　helped　in　your　life！　　For　shame！〃　A　smile　of　exaltation；　of　lofty　resolution；　erased　the　worry　lines　on　her　face。　　〃Why；　it　might　be　to　save　twenty　lives；〃　said　she；　but　in　the　very　speaking　of　the　words　a　sharp　pain　wrenched　her　heart　again；　and　she　caught　up　the　baby　from　the　floor；　where　he　sat　in　a　wall　of　chairs；　and　sobbed　over　him：　〃Oh；　how　can　I　go　away　when　I　got　to　go　for　good　so　soon？　I　want　every　minnit！〃　She　never　thought　of　disputing　Tilly's　wishes。　　〃It's　only　fair；〃　said　Jane。　　〃She's　lived　here　all　these　years　to　please　me；　and　now　I　ought　to　be　willing　to　go　to　please　her。〃　Neither　did　she　for　a　moment　hope　to　change　Tilly's　determination。　〃She　was　the　settest　baby　ever　was；〃　thought　poor　Jane；　tossing　on　her　pillow；　in　the　night　watches；　〃and　it's　grown　with　every　inch　of　her！〃　But　in　the　morning　she　surprised　her　daughter。　　〃Tilly；〃　said　she　at　the　breakfast…table；　〃Tilly；　I　got　something　I　must　do；　and　I　don't　want　you　to　oppose　me。〃　〃Good　gracious；　ma！〃　said　Tilly；　〃as　if　I　ever　opposed　you！〃　〃You　know　how　bad　I　have　been　feeling　about　the　poor　Russians　〃　〃Well？〃　〃And　how　I've　wished　and　wished　I　could　do　something　something　to　COUNT？　　I　never　could；　Tilly；　because　I　ain't　got　the　money　or　the　intellect；　but　s'posing　I　could　do　it　for　somebody　else；　like　this　Captain　Ferguson　who　could　do　so　much　if　he　just　could　get　a　hired　girl　to　take　care　of　his　wife。　Well；　I　do　know　how　to　cook　and　to　keep　a　house　neat　and　to　do　for　the　sick　〃　Tilly　could　restrain　herself　no　longer；　her　voice　rose　to　a　shout　of　dismay〃Mother　Louder；　you　AIN'T　thinking　of　going　to　be　the　Ferguson's　_hired　girl！_〃　〃Not　their　hired　girl；　Tilly；　just　their　help；　so　as　he　can　work　for　those　poor　starving　creatures。〃　　Jane　strangled　a　sob　in　her　throat。　　Tilly；　in　a　kind　of　stupor　of　bewilderment；　frowned　at　her　plate。　　Then　her　clouded　face　cleared。　If　Mrs。　Louder　had　surprised　her　daughter；　her　daughter　repaid　the　surprise。　　〃Well；　if　you　feel　that　way；　mother；〃　said　she；　〃I　won't　say　a　word；　and　I'll　ask　Mr。　Lossing　to　explain　to　the　Fergusons　and　fix　everything。　　He　will。〃　〃You're　real　good；　Tilly。〃　〃And　while　you're　gone　I　guess　it　will　be　a　good　plan　to　move　and　git　settled　〃　For　some　reason　Tilly's　throat　felt　dry；　she　lifted　her　cup。　She　did　not　intend　to　look　across　the　table；　but　her　eyes　escaped　her。　She　set　the　coffee　down　untasted。　　The　clock　was　slow；　she　muttered；　and　she　left　the　room。　Jane　Louder　remained　in　her　place；　with　the　same　pale　face；　staring　at　the　table…cloth。　〃It　don't　seem　like　I　COULD　go；　now；〃　she　thought　dully　to　herself；　〃the　time's　so　awful　short；　I　don't　s'pose　Maria　Carleton　can　git　up　to　see　me　more'n　once　or　twice　a　month；　busy　as　she　is！　I　got　so　to　depend　on　seeing　her　every　day。　　A　sister　couldn't　be　kinder！　　I　don't　see　how　I　am　going　to　bear　it。　And　to　go　away；　beforehand　〃　For　a　long　while　she　sat；　her　face　hardly　changing。　　At　last；　when　she　did　push　her　chair　away；　her　lips　were　tightly　closed。　She　spoke　to　the　little　pile　of　books　lying　on　the　table　in　the　corner。　　〃I　cayn'tthese　are　my　own　and　you　are　strangers！〃　She　walked　across　the　room　to　take　up　the　same　magazine　which　Tilly　had　found　her　reading　the　day　before。　　When　she　began　reading　she　looked　sternpoor　Jane；　she　was　steeling　her　heart　but　in　a　little　while　she　was　sniffing　and　blowing　her　nose。　With　a　groan　she　flung　the　book　aside。　　〃It's　no　use；　I　would　feel　like　a　murderer　if　I　don't　go！〃　said　she。　She　did　go。　　Harry　Lossing　made　all　the　arrangements。　Tilly　was　satisfied。　　But；　then；　Tilly　had　not　heard　Harry's　remark　to　his　mother：　　〃Alma　says　Miss　Louder　is　trying　to　make　the　old　lady　move　against　her　will。　I　dare　say　it　would　be　better　to　give　the　young　woman　a　chance　to　miss　her　mother　and　take　a　little　quiet　think。〃　Tilly　saw　her　mother　off　on　the　train　to　Baxter；　the　Fergusons'　station。　Being　a　provident；　far…sighted；　and　also　inexperienced　traveller；　she　had　allowed　a　full