the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第34章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


against　the　balustrade　and　considered　the　picture　of　that　poor　wreck；
between　his　sickly　children　and　his　wife；　pale　with　her　vigils；　worn
out　by　extreme　fatigue；　by　the　fears；　perhaps　also　by　the　joys　of
these　terrible　months；　but　whose　cheeks　now　glowed　from　the　emotions
she　had　just　passed　through。　At　the　sight　of　that　suffering　family
beneath　the　trembling　leafage　through　which　the　gray　light　of　a　cloudy
autumn　sky　came　dimly；　I　felt　within　me　a　rupture　of　the　bonds　which
hold　the　body　to　the　spirit。　There　came　upon　me　then　that　moral　spleen
which；　they　say；　the　strongest　wrestlers　know　in　the　crisis　of　their
combats；　a　species　of　cold　madness　which　makes　a　coward　of　the　bravest
man；　a　bigot　of　an　unbeliever；　and　renders　those　it　grasps　indifferent
to　all　things；　even　to　vital　sentiments；　to　honor；　to　lovefor　the
doubt　it　brings　takes　from　us　the　knowledge　of　ourselves　and　disgusts
us　with　life　itself。　Poor；　nervous　creatures；　whom　the　very　richness
of　your　organization　delivers　over　to　this　mysterious；　fatal　power；
who　are　your　peers　and　who　your　judges？　Horrified　by　the　thoughts　that
rose　within　me；　and　demanding；　like　the　wicked　man；　〃Where　is　now　thy
God？〃　I　could　not　restrain　the　tears　that　rolled　down　my　cheeks。

〃What　is　it；　dear　Felix？〃　said　Madeleine　in　her　childish　voice。

Then　Henriette　put　to　flight　these　dark　horrors　of　the　mind　by　a　look
of　tender　solicitude　which　shone　into　my　soul　like　a　sunbeam。　Just
then　the　old　huntsman　brought　me　a　letter　from　Tours；　at　sight　of
which　I　made　a　sudden　cry　of　surprise；　which　made　Madame　de　Mortsauf
tremble。　I　saw　the　king's　signet　and　knew　it　contained　my　recall。　I
gave　her　the　letter　and　she　read　it　at　a　glance。

〃What　will　become　of　me？〃　she　murmured；　beholding　her　desert　sunless。

We　fell　into　a　stupor　of　thought　which　oppressed　us　equally；　never　had
we　felt　more　strongly　how　necessary　we　were　to　one　another。　The
countess；　even　when　she　spoke　indifferently　of　other　things；　seemed　to
have　a　new　voice；　as　if　the　instrument　had　lost　some　chords　and　others
were　out　of　tune。　Her　movements　were　apathetic；　her　eyes　without
light。　I　begged　her　to　tell　me　her　thoughts。

〃Have　I　any？〃　she　replied　in　a　dazed　way。

She　drew　me　into　her　chamber；　made　me　sit　upon　the　sofa；　took　a
package　from　the　drawer　of　her　dressing…table；　and　knelt　before　me；
saying：　〃This　hair　has　fallen　from　my　head　during　the　last　year；　take
it；　it　is　yours；　you　will　some　day　know　how　and　why。〃

Slowly　I　bent　to　meet　her　brow；　and　she　did　not　avoid　my　lips。　I
kissed　her　sacredly；　without　unworthy　passion；　without　one　impure
impulse；　but　solemnly；　with　tenderness。　Was　she　willing　to　make　the
sacrifice；　or　did　she　merely　come；　as　I　did　once；　to　the　verge　of　the
precipice？　If　love　were　leading　her　to　give　herself　could　she　have
worn　that　calm；　that　holy　look；　would　she　have　asked；　in　that　pure
voice　of　hers；　〃You　are　not　angry　with　me；　are　you？〃

I　left　that　evening；　she　wished　to　accompany　me　on　the　road　to
Frapesle；　and　we　stopped　under　my　walnut…tree。　I　showed　it　to　her；　and
told　her　how　I　had　first　seen　her　four　years　earlier　from　that　spot。
〃The　valley　was　so　beautiful　then！〃　I　cried。

〃And　now？〃　she　said　quickly。

〃You　are　beneath　my　tree；　and　the　valley　is　ours！〃

She　bowed　her　head　and　that　was　our　farewell；　she　got　into　her
carriage　with　Madeleine；　and　I　into　mine　alone。

On　my　return　to　Paris　I　was　absorbed　in　pressing　business　which　took
all　my　time　and　kept　me　out　of　society；　which　for　a　while　forgot　me。　I
corresponded　with　Madame　de　Mortsauf；　and　sent　her　my　journal　once　a
week。　She　answered　twice　a　month。　It　was　a　life　of　solitude　yet
teeming；　like　those　sequestered　spots；　blooming　unknown；　which　I　had
sometimes　found　in　the　depths　of　woods　when　gathering　the　flowers　for
my　poems。

Oh；　you　who　love！　take　these　obligations　on　you；　accept　these　daily
duties；　like　those　the　Church　imposes　upon　Christians。　The　rigorous
observances　of　the　Roman　faith　contain　a　great　idea；　they　plough　the
furrow　of　duty　in　the　soul　by　the　daily　repetition　of　acts　which　keep
alive　the　sense　of　hope　and　fear。　Sentiments　flow　clearer　in　furrowed
channels　which　purify　their　stream；　they　refresh　the　heart；　they
fertilize　the　life　from　the　abundant　treasures　of　a　hidden　faith；　the
source　divine　in　which　the　single　thought　of　a　single　love　is
multiplied　indefinitely。

My　love；　an　echo　of　the　Middle　Ages　and　of　chivalry；　was　known；　I　know
not　how；　possibly　the　king　and　the　Duc　de　Lenoncourt　had　spoken　of　it。
From　that　upper　sphere　the　romantic　yet　simple　story　of　a　young　man
piously　adoring　a　beautiful　woman　remote　from　the　world；　noble　in　her
solitude；　faithful　without　support　to　duty；　spread；　no　doubt　quickly；
through　the　faubourg　St。　Germain。　In　the　salons　I　was　the　object　of
embarrassing　notice；　for　retired　life　has　advantages　which　if　once
experienced　make　the　burden　of　a　constant　social　intercourse
insupportable。　Certain　minds　are　painfully　affected　by　violent
contrasts；　just　as　eyes　accustomed　to　soft　colors　are　hurt　by　glaring
light。　This　was　my　condition　then；　you　may　be　surprised　at　it　now；　but
have　patience；　the　inconsistencies　of　the　Vandenesse　of　to…day　will　be
explained　to　you。

I　found　society　courteous　and　women　most　kind。　After　the　marriage　of
the　Duc　de　Berry　the　court　resumed　its　former　splendor　and　the　glory
of　the　French　fetes　revived。　The　Allied　occupation　was　over；
prosperity　reappeared；　enjoyments　were　again　possible。　Noted
personages；　illustrious　by　rank；　prominent　by　fortune；　came　from　all
parts　of　Europe　to　the　capital　of　the　intellect；　where　the　merits　and
the　vices　of　other　countries　were　found　magnified　and　whetted　by　the
charms　of　French　intellect。

Five　months　after　leaving　Clochegourde　my　good　angel　wrote　me；　in　the
middle　of　the　winter；　a　despairing　letter；　telling　me　of　the　serious
illness　of　her　son。　He　was　then　out　of　danger；　but　there　were　many
fears　for　the　future；　the　doctor　said　that　precautions　were　necessary
for　his　lungsthe　suggestion　of　a　terrible　idea　which　had　put　the
mother's　heart　in　mourning。　Hardly　had　Jacques　begun　to　convalesce；
and　she　could　breathe　again；　when　Madeleine　made　them　all　uneasy。　That
pretty　plant；　whose　bloom　had　lately　rewarded　the　mother's　culture；
was　now　frail　and　pallid　and　anemic。　The　countess；　worn…out　by
Jacques'　long　illness；　found　no　courage；　she　said；　to　bear　this
additional　blow；　and　the　ever　present　spectacle　of　these　two　dear
failing　creatures　made　her　insensible　to　the　redoubled　torment　of　her
husband's　temper。　Thus　the　storms　were　again　raging；　tearing　up　by　the
roots　the　hopes　that　were　planted　deepest　in　her　bosom。　She　was　now　at
the　mercy　of　the　count；　weary　of　the　struggle；　she　allowed　him　to
regain　all　the　ground　he　had　lost。

〃When　all　my　strength　is　employed　in　caring　for　my　children；〃　she
wrote；　〃how　is　it　possible　to　employ　it　against　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；
how　can　I　struggle　against　his　aggressions　when　I　am　fighting　against
death？　Standing　here　to…day；　alone　and　much　enfeebled；　between　these
two　young　images　of　mournful　fate；　I　am　overpowered　with　disgust；
invincible　disgust　for　life。　What　blow　can　I　feel；　to　what　affection
can　I　answer；　when　I　see　Jacques　motionless　on　the　terrace；　scarcely　a
sign　of　life　about　him；　except　in　those　dear　eyes；　large　by
emaciation；　hollow　as　those　of　an　old　man　and；　oh；　fatal　sign；　full　of
precocious　intelligence　contrasting　with　his　physical　debility。　When　I
look　at　my　pretty　Madeleine；　once　so　gay；　so　caressing；　so　blooming；
now　white　as　death；　her　very　hair　and　eyes　seem　to　me　to　have　paled；
she　turns　a　languishing　look　upon　me　as　if　bidding　me　farewell；
nothing　rouses　her；　nothing　tempts　her。　In　spite　of　all　my　efforts　I
cannot　amuse　my　children；　they　smile　at　me；　but　their　smile　is　only　in
answer　to　my　endearments；　it　does　not　come　from　them。　They　weep
because　they　have　no　strength　to　play　with　me。　Suffering　has　enfeebled
their　whole　being；　it　has　loosened　even　the　ties　that　bound　them　to
me。

〃Thus　you　can　well　believe　that　Clochegourde　is　very　sad。　Monsieur　de
Mortsauf　now　rules　everythingOh　my　friend！　you；　my　glory！〃　she
wrote；　farther　on；　〃you　must　indeed　love　me　well　to　love　me　still；　to
love　me　callous；　ungrateful；　turned　to　stone　by　grief。〃



CHAPTER　III

THE　TWO　WOMEN

It　was　at　this　time；　when　I　was　never　more　deeply　moved　in　my　whole
being；　when　I　lived　in　that　soul　to　which　I　strove　to　send　the
luminous　breeze　of　the　mornings　and　the　hope　of　the　crimsoned
evenings；　that　I　met；　in　the　salons　of　the　Elysee…Bourbon；　one　of
those　illustrious　ladies　who　reign　as　sovereigns　in　society。　Immensely
rich；　born　of　a　family　whose　blood　was　pure　from　all　misalliance　since
the　Conquest；　married　to　one　of　the　most　distinguished　old　men　of　the
British　peerage；　it　was　nevertheless　evident　that　these　advantages
were　mere　accessories　heightening　this　lady's　beauty；　graces；　manners；
and　wit；　all　of　which　had　a　brilliant　quality　which　dazzled　before　it
charmed。　She　was　the　idol　of　the　day；　reigning　the　more　securely　over
Parisian　society　because　she　possessed　the　quality　most　necessary　to
success；the　hand　of　iron　in　the　velvet　glove　spoken　of　by
Bernadotte。

You　know　the　singular　characteristics　of　English　people；　the　distance
and　coldness　of　their　own　Channel　which　they　put　between　them　and
whoever　has　not　been　presented　to　them　in　a　proper　manner。　Humanity
seems　to　be　an　ant…hill　on　which　they　tread；　they　know　none　of　their
species　except　the　few　they　admit　into　their　circle；　they　ignore　even
the　language　of　the　rest；　tongues　may　move　and　eyes　may　see　in　their
presence　but　neither　sound　nor　look　has　reached　them；　to　them；　the
people　are　as　if　they　were　not。　The　British　present　an　image　of　their
own　island；　where　law　rules　everything；　where　all　is　automatic　in
every　station　of　life；　where　the　exercise　of　virtue　appears　to　be　the
necessary　working　of　a　machine　which　goes　by　clockwork。　Fortifications
of　polished　steel　rise　around　the　Englishwoman　behind　the　golden　wires
of　her　household　cage　（where　the　feed…box　and　the　drinking…cup；　the
perches　and　the　food　are　exquisite　in　quality）；　but　they　make　her
irresistibly　attractive。　No　people　ever　trained　married　women　so
carefully　to　hypocrisy　by　holding　them　rigidly　between　the　two
extremes　of　death　or　social　station；　for　them　there　is　no　middle　path
between　shame　and　honor；　either　the　wrong　is　completed　or　it　does　not
exist；　it　is　all　or　nothing；Hamlet's　〃To　be　or　not　to　be。〃　This
alternative；　coupled　with　the　scorn　to　which　the　customs　of　her
country　have　trained　her；　make　an　Englishwoman　a　being　apart　in　the
world。　She　is　a　helpless　creature；　forced　to　be　virtuous　yet　ready　to
yield；　condemned　to　live　a　lie　in　her　heart；　yet　delightful　in　outward
appearancefor　these　English　rest　everything　on　appearances。　Hence
the　special　charms　of　their　women：　the　enthusiasm　for　a　love　which　is
all　their　life；　the　minuteness　of　their　care　for　their　persons；　the
delicacy　of　their　passion；　so　charmingly　rendered　in　the　famous　scene
of　Romeo　and　Juliet　in　which；　with　one　stroke；　Shakespeare's　genius
depicted　his　country…women。

You；　who　envy　them　so　many　things；　what　can　I　tell　you　that　you　do　not
know