character-第53章

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woman。　　Men　are　sometimes　womanlike；　and　women　are　sometimes

manlike；　but　these　are　only　exceptions　which　prove　the　rule。



Although　man's　qualities　belong　more　to　the　head；　and　woman's　more

to　the　heartyet　it　is　not　less　necessary　that　man's　heart

should　be　cultivated　as　well　as　his　head；　and　woman's　head

cultivated　as　well　as　her　heart。　　A　heartless　man　is　as　much　out…

of…keeping　in　civilized　society　as　a　stupid　and　unintelligent

woman。　　The　cultivation　of　all　parts　of　the　moral　and　intellectual

nature　is　requisite　to　form　the　man　or　woman　of　healthy　and　well…

balanced　character。　　Without　sympathy　or　consideration　for　others；

man　were　a　poor；　stunted；　sordid；　selfish　being；　and　without

cultivated　intelligence；　the　most　beautiful　woman　were　little

better　than　a　well…dressed　doll。



It　used　to　be　a　favourite　notion　about　woman；　that　her　weakness

and　dependency　upon　others　constituted　her　principal　claim　to

admiration。　　〃If　we　were　to　form　an　image　of　dignity　in　a　man；〃

said　Sir　Richard　Steele；　〃we　should　give　him　wisdom　and　valour；　as

being　essential　to　the　character　of　manhood。　　In　like　manner；　if

you　describe　a　right　woman　in　a　laudable　sense；　she　should　have

gentle　softness；　tender　fear；　and　all　those　parts　of　life　which

distinguish　her　from　the　other　sex；　with　some　subordination　to　it；

but　an　inferiority　which　makes　her　lovely。〃　　Thus；　her　weakness

was　to　be　cultivated；　rather　than　her　strength；　her　folly；　rather

than　her　wisdom。　　She　was　to　be　a　weak；　fearful；　tearful；

characterless；　inferior　creature；　with　just　sense　enough　to

understand　the　soft　nothings　addressed　to　her　by　the　〃superior〃

sex。　　She　was　to　be　educated　as　an　ornamental　appanage　of　man；

rather　as　an　independent　intelligenceor　as　a　wife；　mother；

companion；　or　friend。



Pope；　in　one　of　his　'Moral　Essays；'　asserts　that　〃most　women　have

no　characters　at　all；〃　and　again　he　says：…



　　　　　　　　　　〃Ladies；　like　variegated　tulips；　show：

　　　　　　　　　　'Tis　to　their　changes　half　their　charms　we　owe；

　　　　　　　　　　Fine　by　defect　and　delicately　weak。〃



This　satire　characteristically　occurs　in　the　poet's　'Epistle　to

Martha　Blount；'　the　housekeeper　who　so　tyrannically　ruled　him；　and

in　the　same　verses　he　spitefully　girds　at　Lady　Mary　Wortley

Montague；　at　whose　feet　he　had　thrown　himself　as　a　lover；　and　been

contemptuously　rejected。　　But　Pope　was　no　judge　of　women；　nor　was

he　even　a　very　wise　or　tolerant　judge　of　men。



It　is　still　too　much　the　practice　to　cultivate　the　weakness　of

woman　rather　than　her　strength；　and　to　render　her　attractive

rather　than　self…reliant。　　Her　sensibilities　are　developed　at　the

expense　of　her　health　of　body　as　well　as　of　mind。　　She　lives；

moves；　and　has　her　being　in　the　sympathy　of　others。　　She　dresses

that　she　may　attract；　and　is　burdened　with　accomplishments　that

she　may　be　chosen。　　Weak；　trembling；　and　dependent；　she　incurs　the

risk　of　becoming　a　living　embodiment　of　the　Italian　proverb〃so

good　that　she　is　good　for　nothing。〃



On　the　other　hand；　the　education　of　young　men　too　often　errs　on

the　side　of　selfishness。　　While　the　boy　is　incited　to　trust　mainly

to　his　own　efforts　in　pushing　his　way　in　the　world；　the　girl　is

encouraged　to　rely　almost　entirely　upon　others。　　He　is　educated

with　too　exclusive　reference　to　himself　and　she　is　educated　with

too　exclusive　reference　to　him。　　He　is　taught　to　be　self…reliant

and　self…dependent；　while　she　is　taught　to　be　distrustful　of

herself；　dependent；　and　self…sacrificing　in　all　things。　　Thus；

the　intellect　of　the　one　is　cultivated　at　the　expense　of　the

affections；　and　the　affections　of　the　other　at　the　expense

of　the　intellect。



It　is　unquestionable　that　the　highest　qualities　of　woman　are

displayed　in　her　relationship　to　others；　through　the　medium　of　her

affections。　　She　is　the　nurse　whom　nature　has　given　to　all

humankind。　　She　takes　charge　of　the　helpless；　and　nourishes　and

cherishes　those　we　love。　　She　is　the　presiding　genius　of　the

fireside；　where　she　creates　an　atmosphere　of　serenity　and

contentment　suitable　for　the　nurture　and　growth　of　character　in

its　best　forms。　　She　is　by　her　very　constitution　compassionate；

gentle；　patient；　and　self…denying。　　Loving；　hopeful；　trustful；

her　eye　sheds　brightness　everywhere。　　It　shines　upon　coldness

and　warms　it；　upon　suffering　and　relieves　it；　upon　sorrow


and　cheers　it：



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃Her　silver　flow

　　　　　　　　　　Of　subtle…paced　counsel　in　distress；

　　　　　　　　Right　to　the　heart　and　brain；　though　undescried；

　　　　　　　　　　Winning　its　way　with　extreme　gentleness

　　　　　　　　Through　all　the　outworks　of　suspicion's　pride。〃



Woman　has　been　styled　〃the　angel　of　the　unfortunate。〃　　She　is

ready　to　help　the　weak；　to　raise　the　fallen；　to　comfort　the

suffering。　　It　was　characteristic　of　woman；　that　she　should　have

been　the　first　to　build　and　endow　an　hospital。　　It　has　been　said

that　wherever　a　human　being　is　in　suffering；　his　sighs　call　a

woman　to　his　side。　　When　Mungo　Park；　lonely；　friendless；　and

famished；　after　being　driven　forth　from　an　African　village　by

the　men；　was　preparing　to　spend　the　night　under　a　tree；　exposed

to　the　rain　and　the　wild　beasts　which　there　abounded；　a　poor

negro　woman；　returning　from　the　labours　of　the　field；　took

compassion　upon　him；　conducted　him　into　her　hut；　and　there

gave　him　food；　succour；　and　shelter。　（1）



But　while　the　most　characteristic　qualities　of　woman　are　displayed

through　her　sympathies　and　affections；　it　is　also　necessary　for

her　own　happiness；　as　a　self…dependent　being；　to　develope　and

strengthen　her　character；　by　due　self…culture；　self…reliance；　and

self…control。　　It　is　not　desirable；　even　were　it　possible；　to

close　the　beautiful　avenues　of　the　heart。　　Self…reliance　of　the

best　kind　does　not　involve　any　limitation　in　the　range　of　human

sympathy。　　But　the　happiness　of　woman；　as　of　man；　depends　in　a

great　measure　upon　her　individual　completeness　of　character。　　And

that　self…dependence　which　springs　from　the　due　cultivation　of　the

intellectual　powers；　conjoined　with　a　proper　discipline　of　the

heart　and　conscience；　will　enable　her　to　be　more　useful　in　life　as

well　as　happy；　to　dispense　blessings　intelligently　as　well　as　to

enjoy　them；　and　most　of　all　those　which　spring　from　mutual

dependence　and　social　sympathy。



To　maintain　a　high　standard　of　purity　in　society；　the　culture　of

both　sexes　must　be　in　harmony；　and　keep　equal　pace。　　A　pure

womanhood　must　be　accompanied　by　a　pure　manhood。　　The　same　moral

law　applies　alike　to　both。　　It　would　be　loosening　the　foundations

of　virtue；　to　countenance　the　notion　that　because　of　a　difference

in　sex；　man　were　at　liberty　to　set　morality　at　defiance；　and　to　do

that　with　impunity；　which；　if　done　by　a　woman；　would　stain　her

character　for　life。　　To　maintain　a　pure　and　virtuous　condition　of

society；　therefore；　man　as　well　as　woman　must　be　pure　and

virtuous；　both　alike　shunning　all　acts　impinging　on　the　heart；

character；　and　conscienceshunning　them　as　poison；　which；

once　imbibed；　can　never　be　entirely　thrown　out　again；　but

mentally　embitters；　to　a　greater　or　less　extent；　the　happiness

of　after…life。



And　here　we　would　venture　to　touch　upon　a　delicate　topic。　　Though

it　is　one　of　universal　and　engrossing　human　interest；　the　moralist

avoids　it；　the　educator　shuns　it；　and　parents　taboo　it。　　It　is

almost　considered　indelicate　to　refer　to　Love　as　between　the

sexes；　and　young　persons　are　left　to　gather　their　only　notions　of

it　from　the　impossible　love…stories　that　fill　the　shelves　of

circulating　libraries。　　This　strong　and　absorbing　feeling；　this

BESOIN　D'AIMERwhich　nature　has　for　wise　purposes　made　so　strong

in　woman　that　it　colours　her　whole　life　and　history；　though　it　may

form　but　an　episode　in　the　life　of　manis　usually　left　to　follow

its　own　inclinations；　and　to　grow　up　for　the　most　part　unchecked；

without　any　guidance　or　direction　whatever。



Although　nature　spurns　all　formal　rules　and　directions　in　affairs

of　love；　it　might　at　all　events　be　possible　to　implant　in　young

minds　such　views　of　Character　as　should　enable　them　to

discriminate　between　the　true　and　the　false；　and　to　accustom　them

to　hold　in　esteem　those　qualities　of　moral　purity　and　integrity；

without　which　life　is　but　a　scene　of　folly　and　misery。　　It　may　not

be　possible　to　teach　young　people　to　love　wisely；　but　they　may　at

least　be　guarded　by　parental　advice　against　the　frivolous　and

despicable　passions　which　so　often　usurp　its　name。　　〃Love；〃　it　has

been　said；　〃in　the　common　acceptation　of　the　term；　is　folly；　but

love；　in　its　purity；　its　loftiness；　its　unselfishness；　is　not　only

a　consequence；　but　a　proof；　of　our　moral　excellence。　　The

sensibility　to　moral　beauty；　the　forgetfulness　of　self　in　the

admiration　engendered　by　it；　all　prove　its　claim　to　a　high　moral

influence。　　It　is　the　triumph　of　the　unselfish　over　the　selfish

part　of　our　nature。〃



It　is　by　means　of　this　divine　passion　that　the　world　is　kept　ever

fresh　and　young。　　It　is　the　perpetual　melody　of　humanity。　　It

sheds　an　effulgence　upon　youth；　and　throws　a　halo　round　age。　　It

glorifies　the　present　by　the　light　it　casts　backward；　and　it

lightens　the　future　by　the　beams　it　casts　forward。　　The　love　which

is　the　outcome　of　esteem　and　admiration；　has　an　elevating　and

purifying　effect　on　the　character。　　It　tends　to　emancipate　one

from　the　slavery　of　self。　　It　is　altogether　unsordid；　itself　is

its　only　price。　　It　inspires　gentleness；　sympathy；　mutual　faith；

and　confidence。　　True　love　also　in　a　measure　elevates　the

intellect。　　〃All　love　renders　wise　in　a　degree；〃　says　the　poet

Browning；　and　the　most　gifted　minds　have　been　the　sincerest

lovers。　　Great　souls　make　all　affections　great；　they　elevate　and

consecrate　all　true　delights。　　The　sentiment　even　brings　to　light

qualities　before　lying　dormant　and　unsuspected。　　It　elevates　the

aspirations；　expands　the　soul；　and　stimulates　the　mental　powers。

One　of　the　finest　compliments　ever　paid　to　a　woman　was　that　of

Steele；　when　he　said　of　Lady　Elizabeth　Hastings；　〃that　to　have

loved　her　was　a　liberal　education。〃　　Viewed　in　this　light；　woman

is　an　educator　in　the　highest　sense；　because；　above　all　other

educators；　she　educates　humanly　and　lovingly。



It　has　been　said　that　no　man　and　no　woman　can　be　regarded　as

complete　in　their　experience　of　life；　until　they　have　been　subdued

into　union　with　the　world　through　their　affections。　　As　woman　is

not　woman　until　she　has　known　love；　neither　is　man　man。　　Both　are

requisite　to　each　other's　completeness。　　Plato　entertained　the

idea　that　lovers　each　sought　a　likeness　in　the　other；　and　that

love　was　only　the　divorced　half　of　the　original　human　being

entering　into　union　with　its　counterpart。　　But　philosophy　would

here　seem　to　be　at　fault；　for　affection　quite　as　often　springs

from　unlikeness　as　from　likeness　in　its　object。



The　true　union　must　needs　be　one　of　mind　as　well　as　of　heart；　and