burlesques-第35章

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　　　　　　Before　the　front　the　Major　sternly　rides；

　　　　　　With　such　an　air　as　Mars　to　battle　strides。

　　　　　　Propitious　heaven　must　sure　a　hero　save

　　　　　　Like　Paris　handsome；　and　like　Hector　brave！'





〃My　officers　（Captains　Biggs　and　Mackanulty；　Lieutenants　Glogger；

Pappendick；　Stuffle；　&c。；　&c。）　were　dressed　exactly　in　the　same

way；　but　in　yellow；　and　the　men　were　similarly　equipped；　but　in

black。　　I　have　seen　many　regiments　since；　and　many　ferocious…

looking　men；　but　the　Ahmednuggar　Irregulars　were　more　dreadful　to

the　view　than　any　set　of　ruffians　on　which　I　ever　set　eyes。　　I

would　to　heaven　that　the　Czar　of　Muscovy　had　passed　through　Cabool

and　Lahore；　and　that　I　with　my　old　Ahmednuggars　stood　on　a　fair

field　to　meet　him！　　Bless　you；　bless　you；　my　swart　companions　in

victory！　through　the　mist　of　twenty　years　I　hear　the　booming　of

your　war…cry；　and　mark　the　glitter　of　your　scimitars　as　ye　rage　in

the　thickest　of　the　battle！*





*　I　do　not　wish　to　brag　of　my　style　of　writing；　or　to　pretend　that

my　genius　as　a　writer　has　not　been　equalled　in　former　times；　but

if；　in　the　works　of　Byron；　Scott；　Goethe；　or　Victor　Hugo；　the

reader　can　find　a　more　beautiful　sentence　than　the　above；　I　will　be

obliged　to　him；　that　is　allI　simply　say；　I　WILL　BE　OBLIGED　TO

HIM。G。　O'G。　G。；　M。　H。　E。　I。　C。　S。；　C。　I。　H。　A。





〃But　away　with　melancholy　reminiscences。　　You　may　fancy　what　a

figure　the　Irregulars　cut　on　a　field…daya　line　of　five　hundred

black…faced；　black…dressed；　black…horsed；　black…bearded　menBiggs；

Glogger；　and　the　other　officers　in　yellow；　galloping　about　the

field　like　flashes　of　lightning；　myself　enlightening　them；　red；

solitary；　and　majestic；　like　yon　glorious　orb　in　heaven。



〃There　are　very　few　men；　I　presume；　who　have　not　heard　of　Holkar's

sudden　and　gallant　incursion　into　the　Dooab；　in　the　year　1804；　when

we　thought　that　the　victory　of　Laswaree　and　the　brilliant　success

at　Deeg　had　completely　finished　him。　　Taking　ten　thousand　horse　he

broke　up　his　camp　at　Palimbang；　and　the　first　thing　General　Lake

heard　of　him　was；　that　he　was　at　Putna；　then　at　Rumpooge；　then　at

Doncaradamhe　was；　in　fact；　in　the　very　heart　of　our　territory。



〃The　unfortunate　part　of　the　affair　was　this：His　Excellency；

despising　the　Mahratta　chieftain；　had　allowed　him　to　advance　about

two　thousand　miles　in　his　front；　and　knew　not　in　the　slightest

degree　where　to　lay　hold　on　him。　　Was　he　at　Hazarubaug？　was　he　at

Bogly　Gunge？　nobody　knew；　and　for　a　considerable　period　the

movements　of　Lake's　cavalry　were　quite　ambiguous；　uncertain；

promiscuous；　and　undetermined。



〃Such；　briefly；　was　the　state　of　affairs　in　October；　1804。　　At　the

beginning　of　that　month　I　had　been　wounded　（a　trifling　scratch；

cutting　off　my　left　upper　eyelid；　a　bit　of　my　cheek；　and　my　under

lip）；　and　I　was　obliged　to　leave　Biggs　in　command　of　my　Irregulars；

whilst　I　retired　for　my　wounds　to　an　English　station　at

Furruckabad；　alias　Futtyghurit　is；　as　every　twopenny　postman

knows；　at　the　apex　of　the　Dooab。　　We　have　there　a　cantonment；　and

thither　I　went　for　the　mere　sake　of　the　surgeon　and　the　sticking…

plaster。



〃Furruckabad；　then；　is　divided　into　two　districts　or　towns：　the

lower　Cotwal；　inhabited　by　the　natives；　and　the　upper　（which　is

fortified　slightly；　and　has　all　along　been　called　Futtyghur；

meaning　in　Hindoostanee　'the…favorite…resort…of…the…white…faced…

Feringhees…near…the…mango…tope…consecrated…to　Ram'）　occupied　by

Europeans。　　（It　is　astonishing；　by　the　way；　how　comprehensive　that

language　is；　and　how　much　can　be　conveyed　in　one　or　two　of　the

commonest　phrases。）



〃Biggs；　then；　and　my　men　were　playing　all　sorts　of　wondrous　pranks

with　Lord　Lake's　army；　whilst　I　was　detained　an　unwilling　prisoner

of　health　at　Futtyghur。



〃An　unwilling　prisoner；　however；　I　should　not　say。　　The　cantonment

at　Futtyghur　contained　that　which　would　have　made　ANY　man　a　happy

slave。　　Woman；　lovely　woman；　was　there　in　abundance　and　variety！

The　fact　is；　that　when　the　campaign　commenced　in　1803；　the　ladies

of　the　army　all　congregated　to　this　place；　where　they　were　left；　as

it　was　supposed；　in　safety。　　I　might；　like　Homer；　relate　the　names

and　qualities　of　all。　　I　may　at　least　mention　SOME　whose　memory　is

still　most　dear　to　me。　　There　was



〃Mrs。　Major…General　Bulcher；　wife　of　Bulcher　of　the　infantry。



〃Miss　Bulcher。



〃Miss　BELINDA　BULCHER　（whose　name　I　beg　the　printer　to　place　in

large　capitals。）



〃Mrs。　Colonel　Vandegobbleschroy。



〃Mrs。　Major　Macan　and　the　four　Misses　Macan。



〃The　Honorable　Mrs。　Burgoo；　Mrs。　Flix；　Hicks；　Wicks；　and　many　more

too　numerous　to　mention。　　The　flower　of　our　camp　was；　however；

collected　there；　and　the　last　words　of　Lord　Lake　to　me；　as　I　left

him；　were；　'Gahagan；　I　commit　those　women　to　your　charge。　　Guard

them　with　your　life；　watch　over　them　with　your　honor；　defend　them

with　the　matchless　power　of　your　indomitable　arm。'



〃Futtyghur　is；　as　I　have　said；　a　European　station；　and　the　pretty

air　of　the　bungalows；　amid　the　clustering　topes　of　mango…trees；　has

often　ere　this　excited　the　admiration　of　the　tourist　and　sketcher。

On　the　brow　of　a　hillthe　Burrumpooter　river　rolls　majestically　at

its　base；　and　no　spot；　in　a　word；　can　be　conceived　more　exquisitely

arranged；　both　by　art　and　nature；　as　a　favorite　residence　of　the

British　fair。　　Mrs。　Bulcher；　Mrs。　Vandegobbleschroy；　and　the　other

married　ladies　above　mentioned；　had　each　of　them　delightful

bungalows　and　gardens　in　the　place；　and　between　one　cottage　and

another　my　time　passed　as　delightfully　as　can　the　hours　of　any　man

who　is　away　from　his　darling　occupation　of　war。



〃I　was　the　commandant　of　the　fort。　　It　is　a　little　insignificant

pettah；　defended　simply　by　a　couple　of　gabions；　a　very　ordinary

counterscarp；　and　a　bomb…proof　embrasure。　　On　the　top　of　this　my

flag　was　planted；　and　the　small　garrison　of　forty　men　only　were

comfortably　barracked　off　in　the　case…mates　within。　　A　surgeon　and

two　chaplains　（there　were　besides　three　reverend　gentlemen　of

amateur　missions；　who　lived　in　the　town；）　completed；　as　I　may　say；

the　garrison　of　our　little　fortalice；　which　I　was　left　to　defend

and　to　command。



〃On　the　night　of　the　first　of　November；　in　the　year　1804；　I　had

invited　Mrs。　Major…General　Bulcher　and　her　daughters；　Mrs。

Vandegobbleschroy；　and；　indeed；　all　the　ladies　in　the　cantonment；

to　a　little　festival　in　honor　of　the　recovery　of　my　health；　of　the

commencement　of　the　shooting　season；　and　indeed　as　a　farewell

visit；　for　it　was　my　intention　to　take　dawk　the　very　next　morning

and　return　to　my　regiment。　　The　three　amateur　missionaries　whom　I

have　mentioned；　and　some　ladies　in　the　cantonment　of　very　rigid

religious　principles；　refused　to　appear　at　my　little　party。　　They

had　better　never　have　been　born　than　have　done　as　they　did：　as　you

shall　hear。



〃We　had　been　dancing　merrily　all　night；　and　the　supper　（chiefly　of

the　delicate　condor；　the　luscious　adjutant；　and　other　birds　of　a

similar　kind；　which　I　had　shot　in　the　course　of　the　day）　had　been

duly　feted　by　every　lady　and　gentleman　present；　when　I　took　an

opportunity　to　retire　on　the　ramparts；　with　the　interesting　and

lovely　Belinda　Bulcher。　　I　was　occupied；　as　the　French　say；　in

conter…ing　fleurettes　to　this　sweet　young　creature；　when；　all　of　a

sudden；　a　rocket　was　seen　whizzing　through　the　air；　and　a　strong

light　was　visible　in　the　valley　below　the　little　fort。



〃'What；　fireworks！　Captain　Gahagan；'　said　Belinda；　'this　is　too

gallant。'



〃'Indeed；　my　dear　Miss　Bulcher；'　said　I；　'they　are　fireworks　of

which　I　have　no　idea：　perhaps　our　friends　the　missionaries'



〃'Look；　look！'　said　Belinda；　trembling；　and　clutching　tightly　hold

of　my　arm：　'what　do　I　see？　yesnoyes！　it　isOUR　BUNGALOW　IS　IN

FLAMES！'



〃It　was　true；　the　spacious　bungalow　occupied　by　Mrs。　Major…General

was　at　that　moment　seen　a　prey　to　the　devouring　elementanother

and　another　succeeded　itseven　bungalows；　before　I　could　almost

ejaculate　the　name　of　Jack　Robinson；　were　seen　blazing　brightly　in

the　black　midnight　air！



〃I　seized　my　night…glass；　and　looking　towards　the　spot　where　the

conflagration　raged；　what　was　my　astonishment　to　see　thousands　of

black　forms　dancing　round　the　fires；　whilst　by　their　lights　I　could

observe　columns　after　columns　of　Indian　horse；　arriving　and　taking

up　their　ground　in　the　very　middle　of　the　open　square　or　tank；

round　which　the　bungalows　were　built！



〃'Ho；　warder！'　shouted　I　（while　the　frightened　and　trembling

Belinda　clung　closer　to　my　side；　and　pressed　the　stalwart　arm　that

encircled　her　waist）；　'down　with　the　drawbridge！　see　that　your

masolgees'　（small　tumbrels　which　are　used　in　place　of　large

artillery）　'be　well　loaded：　you；　sepoys；　hasten　and　man　the

ravelin！　you；　choprasees；　put　out　the　lights　in　the　embrasures！　we

shall　have　warm　work　of　it　to…night；　or　my　name　is　not　Goliah

Gahagan。'



〃The　ladies；　the　guests　（to　the　number　of　eighty…three）；　the

sepoys；　choprasees；　masolgees；　and　so　on；　had　all　crowded　on　the

platform　at　the　sound　of　my　shouting；　and　dreadful　was　the

consternation；　shrill　the　screaming；　occasioned　by　my　words。　　The

men　stood　irresolute　and　mute　with　terror！　the　women；　trembling；

knew　scarcely　whither　to　fly　for　refuge。　　'Who　are　yonder

ruffians？'　said　I。　　A　hundred　voices　yelped　in　replysome　said　the

Pindarees；　some　said　the　Mahrattas；　some　vowed　it　was　Scindiah；　and

others　declared　it　was　Holkarno　one　knew。



〃'Is　there　any　one　here；'　said　I；　'who　will　venture　to　reconnoitre

yonder　troops？'　　There　was　a　dead　pause。



〃'A　thousand　tomauns　to　the　man　who　will　bring　me　news　of　yonder

army！'　again　I　repeated。　　Still　a　dead　silence。　　The　fact　was　that

Scindiah　and　Holkar　both　were　so　notorious　for　their　cruelty；　that

no　one　dared　venture　to　face　the　danger。　　Oh　for　fifty　of　my　brave

Abmednuggarees！'　thought　I。



〃'Gentlemen；'　said　I；　'I　see　ityou　are　cowardsnone　of　you　dare

encounter　the　chance　even　of　death。　　It　is　an　encouraging　prospect：

know　you　not　that　the　ruffian　Holkar；　if　it　be　he；　will　with　the

morrow's　dawn　beleaguer　our　little　fort；　and　throw　thousands　of　men

against　our　walls？　know　you　not　that；　if　we　are　taken；　there　is　no

quarter；　no　hope；　death　for　usand　worse　than　death　for　these

lovely　ones　assembled　here？'　　Here　the　ladies　shrieked　and　raised　a

howl　as　I　have　heard　the　jackals　on　a　summer's　evening。　　Belinda；

my　dear　Belinda！　flung　both　her　arms　round　me；　and　sobbed　on　my

shoulder　（or　in　my　waistcoat…pocket　rather；　for　the　little　witch

could　reach　no　higher）。



〃'Captain　Gahagan；'　sobbed　she；　'GOGOGOGGLEIAH！'



〃'My　soul's　adored！'　replied　I。



〃'Swear　to　me　one　thing。'



〃'I　swear。'



〃'That　ifthat　ifthe　nasty；　horrid；　odious　black　Mah…ra…a…a…attahs

take　the　fort；　you　will　put　me　out　of　their　power。'



〃I　clasped　the　dear　girl　to　my　heart；　and　swore　upon　my　sword　that；