burlesques-第23章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



messidges　by　her：　while　my　exlent　friend；　Lady　Bareacres　（on　the

contry）　was　always　sending　me　toakns　of　affeckshn　by　Hangelina。

Now　it　was　a　coolin　hi…lotium；　inwented　by　herself；　that　her

Ladyship　would　perscribethen；　agin；　it　would　be　a　booky　of

flowers　（my　favrit　polly　hanthuses；　pellagoniums；　and　jyponikys）；

which　none　but　the　fair　&s　of　Hangelina　could　dispose　about　the

chamber　of　the　hinvyleed。　　Ho！　those　dear　mothers！　when　they　wish

to　find　a　chans　for　a　galliant　young　feller；　or　to　ixtablish　their

dear　gals　in　life；　what　awpertunities　they　WILL　give　a　man！　　You'd

have　phansied　I　was　so　hill　（on　account　of　my　black　hi）；　that　I

couldnt　live　exsep　upon　chicking　and　spoon…meat；　and　jellies；　and

blemonges；　and　that　I　coudnt　eat　the　latter　dellixies　（which　I

ebomminate　onternoo；　prefurring　a　cut　of　beaf　or　muttn　to　hall　the

kickpshaws　of　France）；　unless　Hangelina　brought　them。　　I　et　'em；

and　sacrafised　myself　for　her　dear　sayk。



〃I　may　stayt　here　that　in　privit　convasations　with　old　Lord　B。　and

his　son；　I　had　mayd　my　proposals　for　Hangelina；　and　was　axepted；

and　hoped　soon　to　be　made　the　appiest　gent　in　Hengland。



〃'You　must　break　the　matter　gently　to　her；'　said　her　hexlent

father。　　'You　have　my　warmest　wishes；　my　dear　Mr。　De　la　Pluche；　and

those　of　my　Lady　Bareacres；　but　I　am　notnot　quite　certain　about

Lady　Angelina's　feelings。　　Girls　are　wild　and　romantic。　　They　do

not　see　the　necessity　of　prudent　establishments；　and　I　have　never

yet　been　able　to　make　Angelina　understand　the　embarrassments　of　her

family。　　These　silly　creatures　prate　about　love　and　a　cottage；　and

despise　advantages　which　wiser　heads　than　theirs　know　how　to

estimate。'



〃'Do　you　mean　that　she　aint　fassanated　by　me？'　says　I；　bursting　out

at　this　outrayjus　ideer。



〃'She　WILL　be；　my　dear　sir。　　You　have　already　pleased　her；your

admirable　manners　must　succeed　in　captivating　her；　and　a　fond

father's　wishes　will　be　crowned　on　the　day　in　which　you　enter　our

family。'



〃'Recklect；　gents；'　says　I　to　the　2　lords；'a　barging's　a　barging

I'll　pay　hoff　Southdown's　Jews；　when　I'm　his　brother。　　As　a

STRAYNGER'（this　I　said　in　a　sarcastickle　toan）'I　wouldn't　take

such　a　LIBBATY。　　When　I'm　your　suninlor　I'll　treble　the　valyou　of

your　estayt。　　I'll　make　your　incumbrinces　as　right　as　a　trivit；　and

restor　the　ouse　of　Bareacres　to　its　herly　splender。　　But　a　pig　in　a

poak　is　not　the　way　of　transacting　bisniss　imployed　by　Jeames　De　la

Pluche；　Esquire。'



〃And　I　had　a　right　to　speak　in　this　way。　　I　was　one　of　the　greatest

scrip…holders　in　Hengland；　and　calclated　on　a　kilossle　fortune。

All　my　shares　was　rising　immence。　　Every　poast　brot　me　noose　that　I

was　sevral　thowsands　richer　than　the　day　befor。　　I　was　detummind

not　to　reerlize　till　the　proper　time；　and　then　to　buy　istates；　to

found　a　new　family　of　Delapluches；　and　to　alie　myself　with　the

aristoxy　of　my　country。



〃These　pints　I　reprasented　to　pore　Mary　Hann　hover　and　hover　agin。

'If　you'd　been　Lady　Hangelina；　my　dear　gal；'　says　I；　'I　would　have

married　you：　and　why　don't　I？　　Because　my　dooty　prewents　me。　　I'm　a

marter　to　dooty；　and　you；　my　pore　gal；　must　cumsole　yorself　with

that　ideer。'



〃There　seemed　to　be　a　consperracy；　too；　between　that　Silvertop　and

Lady　Hangelina　to　drive　me　to　the　same　pint。　　'What　a　plucky　fellow

you　were；　Pluche；'　says　he　（he　was　rayther　more　familiar　than　I

liked）；　'in　your　fight　with　Fitzwarrento　engage　a　man　of　twice

your　strength　and　science；　though　you　were　sure　to　be　beaten'　（this

is　an　etroashous　folsood：　I　should　have　finnisht　Fitz　in　10

minnits）；　'for　the　sake　of　poor　Mary　Hann！　　That's　a　generous

fellow。　　I　like　to　see　a　man　risen　to　eminence　like　you；　having　his

heart　in　the　right　place。　　When　is　to　be　the　marriage；　my　boy？'



〃'Capting　S。'　says　I；　'my　marridge　consunns　your　most　umble　servnt

a　precious　sight　more　than　you；'and　I　gev　him　to　understand　I

didn't　want　him　to　put　in　HIS　oreI　wasn't　afrayd　of　his　whiskers；

I　prommis　you；　Capting　as　he　was。　　I'm　a　British　Lion；　I　am　as

brayv　as　Bonypert；　Hannible；　or　Holiver　Crummle；　and　would　face

bagnits　as　well　as　any　Evy　drigoon　of　'em　all。



〃Lady　Hangelina；　too；　igspawstulated　in　her　hartfl　way。　　'Mr。　De　la

Pluche　（seshee）；　why；　why　press　this　point？　　You　can't　suppose　that

you　will　be　happy　with　a　person　like　me？'



〃'I　adoar　you；　charming　gal！'　says　I。　　'Never；　never　go　to　say　any

such　thing。'



〃'You　adored　Mary　Ann　first；'　answers　her　ladyship；　'you　can't　keep

your　eyes　off　her　now。　　If　any　man　courts　her　you　grow　so　jealous

that　you　begin　beating　him。　　You　will　break　the　girl's　heart　if　you

don't　marry　her；　and　perhaps　some　one　else'sbut　you　don't　mind

THAT。'



〃'Break　yours；　you　adoarible　creature！　　I'd　die　first！　　And　as　for

Mary　Hann；　she　will　git　over　it；　people's　arts　aint　broakn　so　easy。

Once　for　all；　suckmstances　is　changed　betwigst　me　and　er。　　It's　a

pang　to　part　with　her'　（says　I；　my　fine　hi's　filling　with　tears）；

'but　part　from　her　I　must。'



〃It　was　curius　to　remark　abowt　that　singlar　gal；　Lady　Hangelina；

that　melumcolly　as　she　was　when　she　was　talking　to　me；　and　ever　so

dismlyet　she　kep　on　laffing　every　minute　like　the　juice　and　all。



〃'What　a　sacrifice！'　says　she；　'it's　like　Napoleon　giving　up

Josephine。　　What　anguish　it　must　cause　to　your　susceptible　heart！'



〃'It　does；'　says　I'Hagnies！'　　（Another　laff。）



〃'And　ifif　I　don't　accept　youyou　will　invade　the　States　of

the　Emperor；　my　papa；　and　I　am　to　be　made　the　sacrifice　and　the

occasion　of　peace　between　you！'



〃'I　don't　know　what　you're　eluding　to　about　Joseyfeen　and　Hemperors

your　Pas；　but　I　know　that　your　Pa's　estate　is　over　hedaneers

morgidged；　that　if　some　one　don't　elp　him；　he's　no　better　than　an

old　pawper；　that　he　owes　me　a　lot　of　money；　and　that　I'm　the　man

that　can　sell　him　up　hoss　&　foot；　or　set　him　up　agenTHAT'S　what　I

know；　Lady　Hangelina；'　says　I；　with　a　hair　as　much　as　to　say；　'Put

THAT　in　your　ladyship's　pipe　and　smoke　it。'



〃And　so　I　left　her；　and　nex　day　a　serting　fashnable　paper　enounced



〃'MARRIAGE　IN　HIGH　LIFE。We　hear　that　a　matrimonial　union　is　on

the　tapis　between　a　gentleman　who　has　made　a　colossal　fortune　in

the　Railway　World；　and　the　only　daughter　of　a　noble　earl；　whose

estates　are　situated　in　D…ddles…x。　　An　early　day　is　fixed　for　this

interesting　event。'〃





〃Contry　to　my　expigtations　（but　when　or　ow　can　we　reckn　upon　the

fealinx　of　wimming？）　Mary　Hann　didn't　seem　to　be　much　efected　by

the　hideer　of　my　marridge　with　Hangelinar。　　I　was　rayther

disapinted　peraps　that　the　fickle　young　gal　reckumsiled　herself　so

easy　to　give　me　hup；　for　we　Gents　are　creechers　of　vannaty　after

all；　as　well　as　those　of　the　hopsit　secks；　and　betwigst　you　and　me

there　WAS　mominx；　when　I　almost　wisht　that　I'd　been　borne　a

Myommidn　or　Turk；　when　the　Lor　would　have　permitted　me　to　marry

both　these　sweet　beinx；　wherehas　I　was　now　condemd　to　be　appy　with

ony　one。



〃Meanwild　everythink　went　on　very　agreeable　betwigst　me　and　my

defianced　bride。　　When　we　came　back　to　town　I　kemishnd　Mr。　Showery

the　great　Hoctionear　to　look　out　for　a　town　maushing　sootable　for　a

gent　of　my　qualaty。　　I　got　from　the　Erald　Hoffis　（not　the　Mawning

Eraldno；　no；　I'm　not　such　a　Mough　as　to　go　THERE　for　ackrit

infamation）　an　account　of　my　famly；　my　harms　and　pedigry。



〃I　hordered　in　Long　Hacre；　three　splendid　equipidges；　on　which　my

arms　and　my　adord　wife's　was　drawn　&　quartered；　and　I　got　portricks

of　me　and　her　paynted　by　the　sellabrated　Mr。　Shalloon；　being

resolved　to　be　the　gentleman　in　all　things；　and　knowing　that　my

character　as　a　man　of　fashn　wasn't　compleat　unless　I　sat　to　that

dixtinguished　Hartist。　　My　likenis　I　presented　to　Hangelina。　　It's

not　considered　flattringand　though　SHE　parted　with　it；　as　you

will　hear；　mighty　willingly；　there's　ONE　young　lady　（a　thousand

times　handsomer）　that　values　it　as　the　happle　of　her　hi。



〃Would　any　man　beleave　that　this　picture　was　soald　at　my　sale　for

about　a　twenty…fifth　part　of　what　it　cost　me？　　It　was　bought　in　by

Maryhann；　though：　'O　dear　Jeames；'　says　she；　often　（kissing　of　it　&

pressing　it　to　her　art）；　'it　isn't　ansum　enough　for　you；　and　hasn't

got　your　angellick　smile　and　the　igspreshn　of　your　dear　dear　i's。'



〃Hangelina's　pictur　was　kindly　presented　to　me　by　Countess　B。；　her

mamma；　though　of　coarse　I　paid　for　it。　　It　was　engraved　for　the

'Book　of　Bewty'　the　same　year。



〃With　such　a　perfusion　of　ringlits　I　should　scarcely　have　known

herbut　the　ands；　feat；　and　i's；　was　very　like。　　She　was　painted

in　a　gitar　supposed　to　be　singing　one　of　my　little　melladies；　and

her　brother　Southdown；　who　is　one　of　the　New　England　poits；　wrote

the　follering　stanzys　about　her：





　　　　　　　　　〃LINES　UPON　MY　SISTER'S　PORTRAIT。



　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃BY　THE　LORD　SOUTHDOWN。



〃The　castle　towers　of　Bareacres　are　fair　upon　the　lea；

Where　the　cliffs　of　bonny　Diddlesex　rise　up　from　out　the　sea：

I　stood　upon　the　donjon　keep　and　view'd　the　country　o'er；

I　saw　the　lands　of　Bareacres　for　fifty　miles　or　more。

I　stood　upon　the　donjon　keepit　is　a　sacred　place；

Where　floated　for　eight　hundred　years　the　banner　of　my　race；

Argent；　a　dexter　sinople；　and　gules　an　azure　field；

There　ne'er　was　nobler　cognizance　on　knightly　warrior's　shield。



〃The　first　time　England　saw　the　shield　'twas　round　a　Norman　neck；

On　board　a　ship　from　Valery；　King　William　was　on　deck。

A　Norman　lance　the　colors　wore；　in　Hastings'　fatal　fray

St。　Willibald　for　Bareacres！　'twas　double　gules　that　day！

O　Heaven　and　sweet　St。　Willibald！　in　many　a　battle　since

A　loyal…hearted　Bareacres　has　ridden　by　his　Prince！

At　Acre　with　Plantagenet；　with　Edward　at　Poitiers；

The　pennon　of　the　Bareacres　was　foremost　on　the　spears！



〃'Twas　pleasant　in　the　battle…shock　to　hear　our　war…cry　ringing：

O　grant　me；　sweet　St。　Willibald；　to　listen　to　such　singing！

Three　hundred　steel…clad　gentlemen；　we　drove　the　foe　before　us；

And　thirty　score　of　British　bows　kept　twanging　to　the　chorus！

O　knights；　my　noble　ancestors！　and　shall　I　never　hear

Saint　Willibald　for　Bareacres　through　battle　ringing　clear？

I'd　cut　me　off　this　strong　right　hand　a　single　hour　to　ride；

And　strike　a　blow　for　Bareacres；　my　fathers；　at　your　side！



〃Dash　down；　dash　down；　yon　Mandolin；　beloved　sister　mine！

Those　blushing　lips　may　never　sing　the　glories　of　our　line：

Our　ancient　castles　echo　to　the　clumsy　feet　of　churls；

The　spinning　Jenny　houses　in　the　mansion　of　our　Earls。

Sing　not；　sing　not；　my　Angeline！　in　days　so　base　and　vile；

'Twere　sinful　to　be　happy；　'twere　sacrilege　to　smile。

I'll　hie　me　to　my　lonely　hall；　and　by　its　cheerless　hob

I'll　muse　on　other　days；　and　wishand　wish　I　were。A　SNOB。〃





〃All　young　Hengland；　I'm　told；　considers　the　poim　bewtifle。

They're　always　writing　about　battleaxis　and　shivvlery；　these　young

chaps；　but　the　ideer　of　Southdown　in　a　shoot　of　armer；　and　his

cuttin　h