heretics-第26章
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police…magistrates or scientific professors or undergraduates dressed
up as Queen Victoria。 And people joke about the police…magistrate
more than they joke about the Pope； not because the police…magistrate
is a more frivolous subject； but； on the contrary； because the
police…magistrate is a more serious subject than the Pope。
The Bishop of Rome has no jurisdiction in this realm of England；
whereas the police…magistrate may bring his solemnity to bear quite
suddenly upon us。 Men make jokes about old scientific professors；
even more than they make them about bishopsnot because science
is lighter than religion； but because science is always by its
nature more solemn and austere than religion。 It is not I；
it is not even a particular class of journalists or jesters
who make jokes about the matters which are of most awful import；
it is the whole human race。 If there is one thing more than another
which any one will admit who has the smallest knowledge of the world；
it is that men are always speaking gravely and earnestly and with
the utmost possible care about the things that are not important；
but always talking frivolously about the things that are。
Men talk for hours with the faces of a college of cardinals about
things like golf； or tobacco； or waistcoats； or party politics。
But all the most grave and dreadful things in the world are the oldest
jokes in the worldbeing married； being hanged。
One gentleman； however； Mr。 McCabe； has in this matter made
to me something that almost amounts to a personal appeal；
and as he happens to be a man for whose sincerity and intellectual
virtue I have a high respect； I do not feel inclined to let it
pass without some attempt to satisfy my critic in the matter。
Mr。 McCabe devotes a considerable part of the last essay in
the collection called 〃Christianity and Rationalism on Trial〃
to an objection； not to my thesis； but to my method； and a very
friendly and dignified appeal to me to alter it。 I am much inclined
to defend myself in this matter out of mere respect for Mr。 McCabe；
and still more so out of mere respect for the truth which is； I think；
in danger by his error； not only in this question； but in others。
In order that there may be no injustice done in the matter；
I will quote Mr。 McCabe himself。 〃But before I follow Mr。 Chesterton
in some detail I would make a general observation on his method。
He is as serious as I am in his ultimate purpose； and I respect
him for that。 He knows； as I do； that humanity stands at a solemn
parting of the ways。 Towards some unknown goal it presses through
the ages； impelled by an overmastering desire of happiness。
To…day it hesitates； lightheartedly enough； but every serious
thinker knows how momentous the decision may be。 It is； apparently；
deserting the path of religion and entering upon the path of secularism。
Will it lose itself in quagmires of sensuality down this new path；
and pant and toil through years of civic and industrial anarchy；
only to learn it had lost the road； and must return to religion？
Or will it find that at last it is leaving the mists and the quagmires
behind it； that it is ascending the slope of the hill so long dimly
discerned ahead； and making straight for the long…sought Utopia？
This is the drama of our time； and every man and every woman
should understand it。
〃Mr。 Chesterton understands it。 Further； he gives us
credit for understanding it。 He has nothing of that paltry
meanness or strange density of so many of his colleagues；
who put us down as aimless iconoclasts or moral anarchists。
He admits that we are waging a thankless war for what we
take to be Truth and Progress。 He is doing the same。
But why； in the name of all that is reasonable； should we；
when we are agreed on the momentousness of the issue either way；
forthwith desert serious methods of conducting the controversy？
Why； when the vital need of our time is to induce men
and women to collect their thoughts occasionally； and be men
and womennay； to remember that they are really gods that hold
the destinies of humanity on their kneeswhy should we think
that this kaleidoscopic play of phrases is inopportune？
The ballets of the Alhambra； and the fireworks of the Crystal Palace；
and Mr。 Chesterton's Daily News articles； have their place in life。
But how a serious social student can think of curing the
thoughtlessness of our generation by strained paradoxes； of giving
people a sane grasp of social problems by literary sleight…of…hand；
of settling important questions by a reckless shower of
rocket…metaphors and inaccurate ‘facts；' and the substitution
of imagination for judgment； I cannot see。〃
I quote this passage with a particular pleasure； because Mr。 McCabe
certainly cannot put too strongly the degree to which I give him
and his school credit for their complete sincerity and responsibility
of philosophical attitude。 I am quite certain that they mean every
word they say。 I also mean every word I say。 But why is it that
Mr。 McCabe has some sort of mysterious hesitation about admitting
that I mean every word I say； why is it that he is not quite as certain
of my mental responsibility as I am of his mental responsibility？
If we attempt to answer the question directly and well； we shall；
I think； have come to the root of the matter by the shortest cut。
Mr。 McCabe thinks that I am not serious but only funny；
because Mr。 McCabe thinks that funny is the opposite of serious。
Funny is the opposite of not funny； and of nothing else。
The question of whether a man expresses himself in a grotesque
or laughable phraseology； or in a stately and restrained phraseology；
is not a question of motive or of moral state； it is a question
of instinctive language and self…expression。 Whether a man chooses
to tell the truth in long sentences or short jokes is a problem
analogous to whether he chooses to tell the truth in French or German。
Whether a man preaches his gospel grotesquely or gravely is merely
like the question of whether he preaches it in prose or verse。
The question of whether Swift was funny in his irony is quite another sort
of question to the question of whether Swift was serious in his pessimism。
Surely even Mr。 McCabe would not maintain that the more funny
〃Gulliver〃 is in its method the less it can be sincere in its object。
The truth is； as I have said； that in this sense the two qualities
of fun and seriousness have nothing whatever to do with each other；
they are no more comparable than black and triangular。
Mr。 Bernard Shaw is funny and sincere。 Mr。 George Robey is
funny and not sincere。 Mr。 McCabe is sincere and not funny。
The average Cabinet Minister is not sincere and not funny。
In short； Mr。 McCabe is under the influence of a primary fallacy
which I have found very common m men of the clerical type。
Numbers of clergymen have from time to time reproached me for
making jokes about religion； and they have almost always invoked
the authority of that very sensible commandment which says；
〃Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain。〃
Of course； I pointed out that I was not in any conceivable sense
taking the name in vain。 To take a thing and make a joke out of it
is not to take it in vain。 It is； on the contrary； to take it
and use it for an uncommonly good object。 To use a thing in vain
means to use it without use。 But a joke may be exceedingly useful；
it may contain the whole earthly sense； not to mention the whole
heavenly sense； of a situation。 And those who find in the Bible
the commandment can find in the Bible any number of the jokes。
In the same book in which God's name is fenced from being taken in vain；
God himself overwhelms Job with a torrent of terrible levities。
The same book which says that God's name must not be taken vainly；
talks easily and carelessly about God laughing and God winking。
Evidently it is not here that we have to look for genuine
examples of what is meant by a vain use of the name。 And it is
not very difficult to see where we have really to look for it。
The people （as I tactfully pointed out to them） who really take
the name of the Lord in vain are the clergymen themselves。 The thing
which is fundamentally and really frivolous is not a careless joke。
The thing which is fundamentally and really frivolous is a
careless solemnity。 If Mr。 McCabe really wishes to know what sort
of guarantee of reality and solidity is afforded by the mere act
of what is called talking seriously； let him spend a happy Sunday
in going the round of the pulpits。 Or； better still； let him drop
in at the House of Commons or the House of Lords。 Even Mr。 McCabe
would admit that these men are solemnmore solemn than I am。
And even Mr。 McCabe； I think； would admit that these men are frivolous
more frivolous than I am。 Why should Mr。 McCabe be so eloquent
about the danger arising from fantastic and paradoxical writers？
Why should he be so ardent in desiring grave and verbose writers？
There are not so very many fantastic and paradoxical writers。
But there are a gigantic number of grave and verbose writers；
and it is by the efforts of the grave and verbose writers
that everything that Mr。 McCabe detests （and everything that
I detest； for that matter） is kept in existence and energy。
How can it have come about that a man as intelligent as Mr。 McCabe
can think that paradox and jesting stop the way？ It is solemnity
that is stopping the way in every department of modern effort。
It is his own favourite 〃serious methods；〃 it is his own favourite
〃momentousness；〃 it is his own favourite 〃judgment〃 which stops
the way everywhere。 Every man who has ever headed a deputation
to a minister knows this。 Every man who has ever written a letter
to the Times knows it。 Every rich man who wishes to stop the mouths
of the poor talks about 〃momentousness。〃 Every Cabinet minister
who has not got an answer suddenly develops a 〃judgment。〃
Every sweater who uses vile methods recommends 〃serious methods。〃
I said a moment ago that sincerity had nothing to do with solemnity；
but I confess that I am not so certain that I was right。
In the modern world； at any rate； I am not so sure that I was right。
In the modern world solemnity is the direct enemy
