little novels-第38章

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what　have　I　to　give　you？　Nothing。〃

This　meant；　as　I　interpreted　it；　that　the　main　obstacle　in　the　way　was　Susan's　poverty。　And　I　was　rich！　In　the　excitement　that　possessed　me；　I　followed　the　impulse　of　the　moment　headlong；　like　a　child。

〃While　you　were　away　from　me；〃　I　said　to　Rothsay；　〃did　you　never　once　think　of　your　old　friend？　Must　I　remind　you　that　I　can　make　Susan　your　wife　with　one　stroke　of　my　pen？〃　He　looked　at　me　in　silent　surprise。　I　took　my　check…book　from　the　drawer　of　the　table；　and　placed　the　inkstand　within　reach。　〃Susan's　marriage　portion；〃　I　said；　〃is　a　matter　of　a　line　of　writing；　with　my　name　at　the　end　of　it。〃

He　burst　out　with　an　exclamation　that　stopped　me；　just　as　my　pen　touched　the　paper。

〃Good　heavens！〃　he　cried；　〃you　are　thinking　of　that　play　we　saw　at　Rome！　Are　we　on　the　stage？　Are　you　performing　the　part　of　the　Marquisand　am　I　the　Count？〃

I　was　so　startled　by　this　wild　allusion　to　the　pastI　recognized　with　such　astonishment　the　reproduction　of　one　of　the　dramatic　situations　in　the　play；　at　a　crisis　in　his　life　and　minethat　the　use　of　the　pen　remained　suspended　in　my　hand。　For　the　first　time　in　my　life　I　was　conscious　of　a　sensation　which　resembled　superstitious　dread。

Rothsay　recovered　himself　first。　He　misinterpreted　what　was　passing　in　my　mind。

〃Don't　think　me　ungrateful；〃　he　said。　〃You　dear；　kind；　good　fellow；　consider　for　a　moment；　and　you　will　see　that　it　can't　be。　What　would　be　said　of　her　and　of　me；　if　you　made　Susan　rich　with　your　money；　and　if　I　married　her？　The　poor　innocent　would　be　called　your　cast…off　mistress。　People　would　say：　'He　has　behaved　liberally　to　her；　and　his　needy　friend　has　taken　advantage　of　it。'　〃

The　point　of　view　which　I　had　failed　to　see　was　put　with　terrible　directness　of　expression：　the　conviction　that　I　was　wrong　was　literally　forced　on　me。　What　reply　could　I　make？　Rothsay　evidently　felt　for　me。

〃You　are　ill；〃　he　said；　gently；　〃let　me　leave　you　to　rest。〃

He　held　out　his　hand　to　say　good…by。　I　insisted　on　his　taking　up　his　abode　with　me；　for　the　present　at　least。　Ordinary　persuasion　failed　to　induce　him　to　yield。　I　put　it　on　selfish　grounds　next。

〃You　have　noticed　that　I　am　ill；〃　I　said；　〃I　want　you　to　keep　me　company。〃

He　gave　way　directly。

Through　the　wakeful　night；　I　tried　to　consider　what　moral　remedies　might　be　within　our　reach。　The　one　useful　conclusion　at　which　I　could　arrive　was　to　induce　Rothsay　to　try　what　absence　and　change　might　do　to　compose　his　mind。　To　advise　him　to　travel　alone　was　out　of　the　question。　I　wrote　to　his　one　other　old　friend　besides　myselfthe　friend　who　had　taken　him　on　a　cruise　in　the　Mediterranean。

The　owner　of　the　yacht　had　that　very　day　given　directions　to　have　his　vessel　laid　up　for　the　winter　season。　He　at　once　countermanded　the　order　by　telegraph。　〃I　am　an　idle　man；〃　he　said；　〃and　I　am　as　fond　of　Rothsay　as　you　are。　I　will　take　him　wherever　he　likes　to　go。〃　It　was　not　easy　to　persuade　the　object　of　these　kind　intentions　to　profit　by　them。　Nothing　that　I　could　say　roused　him。　I　spoke　to　him　of　his　picture。　He　had　left　it　at　my　uncle's　house；　and　neither　knew　nor　cared　to　know　whether　it　had　been　sold　or　not。　The　one　consideration　which　ultimately　influenced　Rothsay　was　presented　by　the　doctor；　speaking　as　follows　（to　quote　his　own　explanation）　in　the　interests　of　my　health：

〃I　warned　your　friend；〃　he　said；　〃that　his　conduct　was　causing　anxiety　which　you　were　not　strong　enough　to　bear。　On　hearing　this　he　at　once　promised　to　follow　the　advice　which　you　had　given　to　him；　and　to　join　the　yacht。　As　you　know；　he　has　kept　his　word。　May　I　ask　if　he　has　ever　followed　the　medical　profession？〃

Replying　in　the　negative；　I　begged　the　doctor　to　tell　me　why　he　had　put　his　question。

He　answered；　〃Mr。　Rothsay　requested　me　to　tell　him　all　that　I　knew　about　your　illness。　I　complied；　of　course；　mentioning　that　I　had　lately　adopted　a　new　method　of　treatment；　and　that　I　had　every　reason　to　feel　confident　of　the　results。　He　was　so　interested　in　the　symptoms　of　your　illness；　and　in　the　remedies　being　tried；　that　he　took　notes　in　his　pocketbook　of　what　I　had　said。　When　he　paid　me　that　compliment；　I　thought　it　possible　that　I　might　be　speaking　to　a　colleague。〃

I　was　pleased　to　hear　of　my　friend's　anxiety　for　my　recovery。　If　I　had　been　in　better　health；　I　might　have　asked　myself　what　reason　he　could　have　had　for　making　those　entries　in　his　pocketbook。

Three　days　later；　another　proof　reached　me　of　Rothsay's　anxiety　for　my　welfare。

The　owner　of　the　yacht　wrote　to　beg　that　I　would　send　him　a　report　of　my　health；　addressed　to　a　port　on　the　south　coast　of　England；　to　which　they　were　then　bound。　〃If　we　don't　hear　good　news；〃　he　added；　〃I　have　reason　to　fear　that　Rothsay　will　overthrow　our　plans　for　the　recovery　of　his　peace　of　mind　by　leaving　the　vessel；　and　making　his　own　inquiries　at　your　bedside。〃

With　no　small　difficulty　I　roused　myself　sufficiently　to　write　a　few　words　with　my　own　hand。　They　were　words　that　liedfor　my　poor　friend's　sake。　In　a　postscript；　I　begged　my　correspondent　to　let　me　hear　if　the　effect　produced　on　Rothsay　had　answered　to　our　hopes　and　expectations。

SIXTH　EPOCH。

THE　weary　days　followed　each　otherand　time　failed　to　justify　the　doctor's　confidence　in　his　new　remedies。　I　grew　weaker　and　weaker。

My　uncle　came　to　see　me。　He　was　so　alarmed　that　he　insisted　on　a　consultation　being　held　with　his　own　physician。　Another　great　authority　was　called　in；　at　the　same　time；　by　the　urgent　request　of　my　own　medical　man。　These　distinguished　persons　held　more　than　one　privy　council；　before　they　would　consent　to　give　a　positive　opinion。　It　was　an　evasive　opinion　（encumbered　with　hard　words　of　Greek　and　Roman　origin）　when　it　was　at　last　pronounced。　I　waited　until　they　had　taken　their　leave；　and　then　appealed　to　my　own　doctor。　〃What　do　these　men　really　think？〃　I　asked。　〃Shall　I　live；　or　die？〃

The　doctor　answered　for　himself　as　well　as　for　his　illustrious　colleagues。　〃We　have　great　faith　in　the　new　prescriptions；〃　he　said。

I　understood　what　that　meant。　They　were　afraid　to　tell　me　the　truth。　I　insisted　on　the　truth。

〃How　long　shall　I　live？〃　I　said。　〃Till　the　end　of　the　year？〃

The　reply　followed　in　one　terrible　word：

〃Perhaps。〃

It　was　then　the　first　week　in　December。　I　understood　that　I　might　reckonat　the　utmoston　three　weeks　of　life。　What　I　felt；　on　arriving　at　this　conclusion；　I　shall　not　say。　It　is　the　one　secret　I　keep　from　the　readers　of　these　lines。

The　next　day；　Mrs。　Rymer　called　once　more　to　make　inquiries。　Not　satisfied　with　the　servant's　report；　she　entreated　that　I　would　consent　to　see　her。　My　housekeeper；　with　her　customary　kindness；　undertook　to　convey　the　message。　If　she　had　been　a　wicked　woman；　would　she　have　acted　in　this　way？　〃Mrs。　Rymer　seems　to　be　sadly　distressed；〃　she　pleaded。　〃As　I　understand；　sir；　she　is　suffering　under　some　domestic　anxiety　which　can　only　be　mentioned　to　yourself。〃

Did　this　anxiety　relate　to　Susan？　The　bare　doubt　of　it　decided　me。　I　consented　to　see　Mrs。　Rymer。　Feeling　it　necessary　to　control　her　in　the　use　of　her　tongue；　I　spoke　the　moment　the　door　was　opened。

〃I　am　suffering　from　illness；　and　I　must　ask　you　to　spare　me　as　much　as　possible。　What　do　you　wish　to　say　to　me？〃

The　tone　in　which　I　addressed　Mrs。　Rymer　would　have　offended　a　more　sensitive　woman。　The　truth　is；　she　had　chosen　an　unfortunate　time　for　her　visit。　There　were　fluctuations　in　the　progress　of　my　malady；　there　were　days　when　I　felt　better；　and　days　when　I　felt　worseand　this　was　a　bad　day。　Moreover；　my　uncle　had　tried　my　temper　that　morning。　He　had　called　to　see　me；　on　his　way　to　winter　in　the　south　of　France　by　his　physician's　advice；　and　he　recommended　a　trial　of　change　of　air　in　my　case　also。　His　country　house　（only　thirty　miles　from　London）　was　entirely　at　my　disposal；　and　the　railway　supplied　beds　for　invalids。　It　was　useless　to　answer　that　I　was　not　equal　to　the　effort。　He　reminded　me　that　I　had　exerted　myself　to　leave　my　bedchamber　for　my　arm…chair　in　the　next　room；　and　that　a　little　additional　resolution　would　enable　me　to　follow　his　advice。　We　parted　in　a　state　of　irritation　on　either　side　which；　so　far　as　I　was　concerned；　had　not　subsided　yet。

〃I　wish　to　speak　to　you；　sir；　about　my　daughter；〃　Mrs。　Rymer　answered。

The　mere　allusion　to　Susan　had　its　composing　effect　on　me。　I　said　kindly　that　I　hoped　she　was　well。

〃Well　in　body；〃　Mrs。　Rymer　announced。　〃Far　from　it；　sir；　in　mind。〃

Before　I　could　ask　what　this　meant；　we　were　interrupted　by　the　appearance　of　the　servant；　bringing　the　letters　which　had　arrived　for　me　by　the　afternoon　post。　I　told　the　man；　impatiently；　to　put　them　on　the　table　at　my　side。

〃What　is　distressing　Susan？〃　I　inquired；　without　stopping　to　look　at　the　letters。

〃She　is　fretting；　sir；　about　your　illness。　Oh；　Mr。　Lepel；　if　you　would　only　try　the　sweet　country　air！　If　you　only　had　my　good　little　Susan　to　nurse　you！〃

_She_；　too；　taking　my　uncle's　view！　And　talking　of　Susan　as　my　nurse！

〃What　are　you　thinking　of？〃　I　asked　her。　〃A　young　girl　like　your　daughter　nursing　Me！　You　ought　to　have　more　regard　for　Susan's　good　name！〃

〃I　know　what　_you_　ought　to　do！〃　She　made　that　strange　reply　with　a　furtive　look　at　me；　half　in　anger；　half　in　alarm。

〃Go　on；〃　I　said。

〃Will　you　turn　me　out　of　your　house　for　my　impudence？〃　she　asked。

〃I　will　hear　what　you　have　to　say　to　me。　What　ought　I　to　do？〃

〃Marry　Susan。〃

I　heard　the　woman　plainlyand　yet；　I　declare；　I　doubted　the　evidence　of　my　senses。

〃She's　breaking　her　heart　for　you；〃　Mrs。　Rymer　burst　out。　〃She's　been　in　love　with　you　since　you　first　darkened　our　doorsand　it　will　end　in　the　neighbors　finding　it　out。　I　did　my　duty　to　her；　I　tried　to　stop　it；　I　tried　to　prevent　you　from　seeing　her；　when　you　went　away。　Too　late；　the　mischief　was　done。　When　I　see　my　girl　fading　day　by　daycrying　about　you　in　secret；　talking　about　you　in　her　dreamsI　can't　stand　it；　I　must　speak　out。　Oh；　yes；　I　know　how　far　beneath　you　she　isthe　daughter　of　your　uncle's　servant。　But　she's　your　equal；　sir；　in　the　sight　of　Heaven。　My　lord's　priest　converted　her　only　last　yearand　my　Susan　is　as　good　a　Papist　as　yourself。〃

How　could　I　let　this　go　on？　I　felt　that　I　ought　to　have　stopped　it　before。

〃It's　possible；〃　I　said；　〃that　you　may　not　be　deliberately　deceiving　me。　If　you　are　yourself　deceived；　I　am　bound　to　tell　you　the　truth。　Mr。　Rothsay　loves　your　daughter；　and；　what　is　more；　Mr。　Rothsay　has　reason　to　know　that　Susan〃

〃That　Susan　loves　him？〃　she　interposed；　with　a　mocking　laugh。　〃Oh；　Mr。　Lepel；　is　it　possible　that　a　clever　man　like　you　can't　see　clearer　than　that？　My　girl　in　love　with　Mr。　Rothsay！　She　wouldn't　have　looked　at　him　a　second　time　if　he　hadn't　talked　to　her　about　_you_。　When　I　complained　privately　to　my　lord　of　Mr。　Rothsay　hanging　about　the　lodge；　do　you　think　she　turned　as　pale　as　ashes；　and　cried　when　_he_　passed　through　the　gate；　and　said　good…by？〃

She　had　complained　of　Rothsay　to　Lord　LepelI　understood　her　at　last！　She　knew　that　my　friend　and　all　his　family　were　poor。　She　had　put　her　own　construction　on　the　innocent　interest　that　I　had　taken　in　her　daughter。　Careless　of　the　difference　in　rank；　blind　to　the　malady　that　was　killing　me；　she　was　now　bent　on　separating　Rothsay　and