little novels-第34章

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ending　for　him；　I　alluded　next　to　the　loss　that　he　had　sustained；　and　asked　if　he　had　any　prospect　of　finding　out　the　person　who　had　entered　his　room　in　his　absence。　On　his　reply　in　the　negative；　I　spoke　of　the　serious　results　to　him　of　the　act　of　destruction　that　had　been　committed。　〃Your　last　chance　of　discovering　your　parents；〃　I　said；　〃has　been　cruelly　destroyed。〃

He　smiled　sadly。　〃You　know　already；　miss；　that　I　never　expected　to　discover　them。〃

I　ventured　a　little　nearer　to　the　object　I　had　in　view。

〃Do　you　never　think　of　your　mother？〃　I　asked。　〃At　your　age；　she　might　be　still　living。　Can　you　give　up　all　hope　of　finding　her；　without　feeling　your　heart　ache？〃

〃If　I　have　done　her　wrong；　in　believing　that　she　deserted　me；〃　he　answered；　〃the　heart…ache　is　but　a　poor　way　of　expressing　the　remorse　that　I　should　feel。〃

I　ventured　nearer　still。

Even　if　you　were　right；〃　I　began〃even　it　she　did　desert　you〃

He　interrupted　me　sternly。　〃I　would　not　cross　the　street　to　see　her；〃　he　said。　〃A　woman　who　deserts　her　child　is　a　monster。　Forgive　me　for　speaking　so；　miss！　When　I　see　good　mothers　and　their　children　it　maddens　me　when　I　think　of　what　_my_　childhood　was。〃

Hearing　these　words；　and　watching　him　attentively　while　he　spoke；　I　could　see　that　my　silence　would　be　a　mercy；　not　a　crime。　I　hastened　to　speak　of　other　things。

〃If　you　decide　to　leave　us；〃　I　said；　〃when　shall　you　go？〃

His　eyes　softened　instantly。　Little　by　little　the　color　faded　out　of　his　face　as　he　answered　me。

〃The　General　kindly　said；　when　I　spoke　of　leaving　my　place〃　His　voice　faltered；　and　he　paused　to　steady　it。　〃My　master；〃　he　resumed；　〃said　that　I　need　not　keep　my　new　employer　waiting　by　staying　for　the　customary　month；　providedprovided　you　were　willing　to　dispense　with　my　services。〃

So　far；　I　had　succeeded　in　controlling　myself。　At　that　reply　I　felt　my　resolution　failing　me。　I　saw　how　he　suffered；　I　saw　how　manfully　he　struggled　to　conceal　it。

〃I　am　not　willing；〃　I　said。　〃I　am　sorryvery；　very　sorry　to　lose　you。　But　I　will　do　anything　that　is　for　your　good。　I　can　say　no　more。〃

He　rose　suddenly；　as　if　to　leave　the　room；　mastered　himself；　stood　for　a　moment　silently　looking　at　methen　looked　away　again；　and　said　his　parting　words。

〃If　I　succeed；　Miss　Mina；　in　my　new　employmentif　I　get　on　to　higher　thingsis　itis　it　presuming　too　much；　to　ask　if　I　might；　some　dayperhaps　when　you　are　out　riding　aloneif　I　might　speak　to　youonly　to　ask　if　you　are　well　and　happy〃

He　could　say　no　more。　I　saw　the　tears　in　his　eyes；　saw　him　shaken　by　the　convulsive　breathings　which　break　from　men　in　the　rare　moments　when　they　cry。　He　forced　it　back　even　then。　He　bowed　to　meoh；　God；　he　bowed　to　me；　as　if　he　were　only　my　servant！　as　if　he　were　too　far　below　me　to　take　my　hand；　even　at　that　moment！　I　could　have　endured　anything　else；　I　believe　I　could　still　have　restrained　myself　under　any　other　circumstances。　It　matters　little　now；　my　confession　must　be　made；　whatever　you　may　think　of　me。　I　flew　to　him　like　a　frenzied　creatureI　threw　my　arms　round　his　neckI　said　to　him；　〃Oh；　Michael；　don't　you　know　that　I　love　you？〃　And　then　I　laid　my　head　on　his　breast；　and　held　him　to　me；　and　said　no　more。

In　that　moment　of　silence；　the　door　of　the　room　was　opened。　I　started；　and　looked　up。　Lady　Claudia　was　standing　on　the　threshold。

I　saw　in　her　face　that　she　had　been　listeningshe　must　have　followed　him　when　he　was　on　his　way　to　my　room。　That　conviction　steadied　me。　I　took　his　hand　in　mine；　and　stood　side　by　side　with　him；　waiting　for　her　to　speak　first。　She　looked　at　Michael；　not　at　me。　She　advanced　a　step　or　two；　and　addressed　him　in　these　words：

〃It　is　just　possible　that　_you_　have　some　sense　of　decency　left。　Leave　the　room。〃

That　deliberate　insult　was　all　that　I　wanted　to　make　me　completely　mistress　of　myself。　I　told　Michael　to　wait　a　moment；　and　opened　my　writing　desk。　I　wrote　on　an　envelope　the　address　in　London　of　a　faithful　old　servant；　who　had　attended　my　mother　in　her　last　moments。　I　gave　it　to　Michael。　〃Call　there　to…morrow　morning；〃　I　said。　〃You　will　find　me　waiting　for　you。〃

He　looked　at　Lady　Claudia；　evidently　unwilling　to　leave　me　alone　with　her。　〃Fear　nothing；〃　I　said；　〃I　am　old　enough　to　take　care　of　myself。　I　have　only　a　word　to　say　to　this　lady　before　I　leave　the　house。　〃With　that；　I　took　his　arm；　and　walked　with　him　to　the　door；　and　said　good…by　almost　as　composedly　as　if　we　had　been　husband　and　wife　already。

Lady　Claudia's　eyes　followed　me　as　I　shut　the　door　again　and　crossed　the　room　to　a　second　door　which　led　into　my　bed…chamber。　She　suddenly　stepped　up　to　me；　just　as　I　was　entering　the　room；　and　laid　her　hand　on　my　arm。

〃What　do　I　see　in　your　face？〃　she　asked　as　much　of　herself　as　of　mewith　her　eyes　fixed　in　keen　inquiry　on　mine。

〃You　shall　know　directly；〃　I　answered。　〃Let　me　get　my　bonnet　and　cloak　first。〃

〃Do　you　mean　to　leave　the　house？〃

〃I　do。〃

She　rang　the　bell。　I　quietly　dressed　myself；　to　go　out。

The　servant　answered　the　bell；　as　I　returned　to　the　sitting…room。

〃Tell　your　master　I　wish　to　see　him　instantly；〃　said　Lady　Claudia。

〃My　master　has　gone　out；　my　lady。〃

〃To　his　club？〃

〃I　believe　so；　my　lady。〃

〃I　will　send　you　with　a　letter　to　him。　Come　back　when　I　ring　again。〃　She　turned　to　me　as　the　man　withdrew。　〃Do　you　refuse　to　stay　here　until　the　General　returns？〃

〃I　shall　be　happy　to　see　the　General；　if　you　will　inclose　my　address　in　your　letter　to　him。〃

Replying　in　those　terms；　I　wrote　the　address　for　the　second　time。　Lady　Claudia　knew　perfectly　well；　when　I　gave　it　to　her；　that　I　was　going　to　a　respectable　house　kept　by　a　woman　who　had　nursed　me　when　I　was　a　child。

〃One　last　question；〃　she　said。　〃Am　I　to　tell　the　General　that　it　is　your　intention　to　marry　your　groom？〃

Her　tone　stung　me　into　making　an　answer　which　I　regretted　the　moment　it　had　passed　my　lips。

〃You　can　put　it　more　plainly；　if　you　like；〃　I　said。　〃You　can　tell　the　General　that　it　is　my　intention　to　marry　_your_　son。〃

She　was　near　the　door；　on　the　point　of　leaving　me。　As　I　spoke；　she　turned　with　a　ghastly　stare　of　horrorfelt　about　her　with　her　hands　as　if　she　was　groping　in　darknessand　dropped　on　the　floor。

I　instantly　summoned　help。　The　women…servants　carried　her　to　my　bed。　While　they　were　restoring　her　to　herself；　I　wrote　a　few　lines　telling　the　miserable　woman　how　I　had　discovered　her　secret。

〃Your　husband's　tranquillity；〃　I　added；　〃is　as　precious　to　me　as　my　own。　As　for　your　son；　you　know　what　he　thinks　of　the　mother　who　deserted　him。　Your　secret　is　safe　in　my　keepingsafe　from　your　husband；　safe　from　your　son；　to　the　end　of　my　life。〃

I　sealed　up　those　words；　and　gave　them　to　her　when　she　had　come　to　herself　again。　I　never　heard　from　her　in　reply。　I　have　never　seen　her　from　that　time　to　this。　She　knows　she　can　trust　me。

And　what　did　my　good　uncle　say；　when　we　next　met？　I　would　rather　report　what　he　did；　when　he　had　got　the　better　of　his　first　feelings　of　anger　and　surprise　on　hearing　of　my　contemplated　marriage。　He　consented　to　receive　us　on　our　wedding…day；　and　he　gave　my　husband　the　appointment　which　places　us　both　in　an　independent　position　for　life。

But　he　had　his　misgivings。　He　checked　me　when　I　tried　to　thank　him。

〃Come　back　in　a　year's　time；〃　he　said。　〃I　will　wait　to　be　thanked　till　the　experience　of　your　married　life　tells　me　that　I　have　deserved　it。〃

The　year　passed；　and　the　General　received　the　honest　expression　of　my　gratitude。　He　smiled　and　kissed　me；　but　there　was　something　in　his　face　which　suggested　that　he　was　not　quite　satisfied　yet。

〃Do　you　believe　that　I　have　spoken　sincerely？〃　I　asked。

〃I　firmly　believe　it；〃　he　answeredand　there　he　stopped。

A　wiser　woman　would　have　taken　the　hint　and　dropped　the　subject。　My　folly　persisted　in　putting　another　question：

〃Tell　me；　uncle。　Haven't　I　proved　that　I　was　right　when　I　married　my　groom？〃

〃No；　my　dear。　You　have　only　proved　that　you　are　a　lucky　woman！〃


MR。　LEPEL　AND　THE　HOUSEKEEPER

FIRST　EPOCH。

THE　Italians　are　born　actors。

At　this　conclusion　I　arrived；　sitting　in　a　Roman　theaternow　many　years　since。　My　friend　and　traveling　companion；　Rothsay；　cordially　agreed　with　me。　Experience　had　given　us　some　claim　to　form　an　opinion。　We　had　visited；　at　that　time；　nearly　every　city　in　Italy。　Where…ever　a　theater　was　open；　we　had　attended　the　performances　of　the　companies　which　travel　from　place　to　place；　and　we　had　never　seen　bad　acting　from　first　to　last。　Men　and　women；　whose　names　are　absolutely　unknown　in　England；　played　（in　modern　comedy　and　drama　for　the　most　part）　with　a　general　level　of　dramatic　ability　which　I　have　never　seen　equaled　in　the　theaters　of　other　nations。　Incapable　Italian　actors　there　must　be；　no　doubt。　For　my　own　part　I　have　only　discovered　them；　by　ones　and　twos；　in　England；　appearing　among　the　persons　engaged　to　support　Salvini　and　Ristori　before　the　audiences　of　London。

On　the　occasion　of　which　I　am　now　writing；　the　night's　performances　consisted　of　two　plays。　An　accident；　to　be　presently　related；　prevented　us　from　seeing　more　than　the　introductory　part　of　the　second　piece。　That　one　actin　respect　of　the　influence　which　the　remembrance　of　it　afterward　exercised　over　Rothsay　and　myselfclaims　a　place　of　its　own　in　the　opening　pages　of　the　present　narrative。

The　scene　of　the　story　was　laid　in　one　of　the　principalities　of　Italy；　in　the　bygone　days　of　the　Carbonaro　conspiracies。　The　chief　persons　were　two　young　noblemen；　friends　affectionately　attached　to　each　other；　and　a　beautiful　girl　born　in　the　lower　ranks　of　life

On　the　rising　of　the　curtain；　the　scene　before　us　was　the　courtyard　of　a　prison。　We　found　the　beautiful　girl　（called　Celia　as　well　as　I　can　recollect）　in　great　distress；　confiding　her　sorrows　to　the　jailer's　daughter。　Her　father　was　pining　in　the　prison；　charged　with　an　offense　of　which　he　was　innocent；　and　she　herself　was　suffering　the　tortures　of　hopeless　love。　She　was　on　the　point　of　confiding　her　secret　to　her　friend；　when　the　appearance　of　the　young　nobleman　closed　her　lips。　The　girls　at　once　withdrew；　and　the　two　friendswhom　I　now　only　remember　as　the　Marquis　and　the　Countbegan　the　dialogue　which　prepared　us　for　the　story　of　the　play。

The　Marquis　had　been　tried　for　conspiracy　against　the　reigning　Prince　and　his　government；　had　been　found　guilty；　and　is　condemned　to　be　shot　that　evening。　He　accepts　his　sentence　with　the　resignation　of　a　man　who　is　weary　of　his　life。　Young　as　he　is；　he　has　tried　the　round　of　pleasures　without　enjoyment；　he　has　no　interests；　no　aspirations；　no　hopes；　he　looks　on　death　as　a　welcome　release。　His　friend　the　Count；　admitted　to　a　farewell　interview；　has　invented　a　stratagem　by　which　the　prisoner　may　escape　and　take　to　flight。　The　Marquis　expresses　a　grateful　sense　of　obligation；　and　prefers　being　shot。　〃I　don't　value　my　life；〃　he　says；　〃I　am　not　a　happy　man　like　you。〃　Upon　this　the　Count　mentions　circumstances　which　he　has　hitherto　kept　secret。　He　loves　the　charming　Celia；　and　loves　in　vain。　Her　reputation　is　unsullied；　she　possesses　every　good　quality　that　a　man　can　desire　in　a　wifebut　the　Count's　social　position　forbids　him　to　marry　a　woman　of　low　birth。　He　is　heart…broken；　and　he　too　finds　life　without　hope　a　burden　that　is　not　to　be　borne。　The　Mar