50 bab ballads-第7章
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With little boys his beat along
He loved to stop and play；
He loved to send old ladies wrong；
And teach their feet to stray。
He would in frolic moments； when
Such mischief bent upon；
Take Bishops up as betting men …
Bid Ministers move on。
Then all the worthy boys he knew
He regularly licked；
And always collared people who
Had had their pockets picked。
He was not naturally bad；
Or viciously inclined；
But from his early youth he had
A waggish turn of mind。
The Men of London grimly scowled
With indignation wild；
The Men of London gruffly growled；
But PETER calmly smiled。
Against this minion of the Crown
The swelling murmurs grew …
From Camberwell to Kentish Town …
From Rotherhithe to Kew。
Still humoured he his wagsome turn；
And fed in various ways
The coward rage that dared to burn；
But did not dare to blaze。
Still； Retribution has her day；
Although her flight is slow：
ONE DAY THAT CRUSHER LOST HIS WAY
NEAR POLAND STREET； SOHO。
The haughty boy； too proud to ask；
To find his way resolved；
And in the tangle of his task
Got more and more involved。
The Men of London； overjoyed；
Came there to jeer their foe；
And flocking crowds completely cloyed
The mazes of Soho。
The news on telegraphic wires
Sped swiftly o'er the lea；
Excursion trains from distant shires
Brought myriads to see。
For weeks he trod his self…made beats
Through Newport… Gerrard… Bear…
Greek… Rupert… Frith… Dean… Poland… Streets；
And into Golden Square。
But all； alas！ in vain； for when
He tried to learn the way
Of little boys or grown…up men；
They none of them would say。
Their eyes would flash … their teeth would grind …
Their lips would tightly curl …
They'd say； 〃Thy way thyself must find；
Thou misdirecting churl！〃
And； similarly； also； when
He tried a foreign friend；
Italians answered； 〃IL BALEN〃 …
The French； 〃No comprehend。〃
The Russ would say with gleaming eye
〃 Sevastopol！〃 and groan。
The Greek said； ＇GREEK TEXT WHICH CANNOT
BE REPRODUCED＇。〃
To wander thus for many a year
That Crusher never ceased …
The Men of London dropped a tear；
Their anger was appeased
At length exploring gangs were sent
To find poor FORTH'S remains …
A handsome grant by Parliament
Was voted for their pains。
To seek the poor policeman out
Bold spirits volunteered；
And when they swore they'd solve the doubt；
The Men of London cheered。
And in a yard； dark； dank； and drear；
They found him； on the floor …
It leads from Richmond Buildings … near
The Royalty stage…door。
With brandy cold and brandy hot
They plied him； starved and wet；
And made him sergeant on the spot …
The Men of London's pet！
Ballad： TO THE TERRESTRIAL GLOBE。 BY A MISERABLE WRETCH。
ROLL on； thou ball； roll on！
Through pathless realms of Space
Roll on！
What though I'm in a sorry case？
What though I cannot meet my bills？
What though I suffer toothache's ills？
What though I swallow countless pills？
Never YOU mind！
Roll on！
Roll on； thou ball； roll on！
Through seas of inky air
Roll on！
It's true I've got no shirts to wear；
It's true my butcher's bill is due；
It's true my prospects all look blue …
But don't let that unsettle you！
Never YOU mind！
Roll on！
＇IT ROLLS ON。
Ballad： GENTLE ALICE BROWN。
IT was a robber's daughter； and her name was ALICE BROWN；
Her father was the terror of a small Italian town；
Her mother was a foolish； weak； but amiable old thing；
But it isn't of her parents that I'm going for to sing。
As ALICE was a…sitting at her window…sill one day；
A beautiful young gentleman he chanced to pass that way；
She cast her eyes upon him； and he looked so good and true；
That she thought； 〃I could be happy with a gentleman like you！〃
And every morning passed her house that cream of gentlemen；
She knew she might expect him at a quarter unto ten；
A sorter in the Custom…house； it was his daily road
（The Custom…house was fifteen minutes' walk from her abode）。
But ALICE was a pious girl； who knew it wasn't wise
To look at strange young sorters with expressive purple eyes；
So she sought the village priest to whom her family confessed；
The priest by whom their little sins were carefully assessed。
〃Oh； holy father；〃 ALICE said； 〃't would grieve you； would it not；
To discover that I was a most disreputable lot？
Of all unhappy sinners I'm the most unhappy one！〃
The padre said； 〃Whatever have you been and gone and done？〃
〃I have helped mamma to steal a little kiddy from its dad；
I've assisted dear papa in cutting up a little lad；
I've planned a little burglary and forged a little cheque；
And slain a little baby for the coral on its neck！〃
The worthy pastor heaved a sigh； and dropped a silent tear；
And said； 〃You mustn't judge yourself too heavily； my dear：
It's wrong to murder babies； little corals for to fleece；
But sins like these one expiates at half…a…crown apiece。
〃Girls will be girls … you're very young； and flighty in your mind；
Old heads upon young shoulders we must not expect to find：
We mustn't be too hard upon these little girlish tricks …
Let's see … five crimes at half…a…crown … exactly twelve…and…six。〃
〃Oh； father；〃 little Alice cried； 〃your kindness makes me weep；
You do these little things for me so singularly cheap …
Your thoughtful liberality I never can forget；
But； oh！ there is another crime I haven't mentioned yet！
〃A pleasant…looking gentleman； with pretty purple eyes；
I've noticed at my window； as I've sat a…catching flies；
He passes by it every day as certain as can be …
I blush to say I've winked at him； and he has winked at me！〃
〃For shame！〃 said FATHER PAUL； 〃my erring daughter！ On my word
This is the most distressing news that I have ever heard。
Why； naughty girl； your excellent papa has pledged your hand
To a promising young robber； the lieutenant of his band！
〃This dreadful piece of news will pain your worthy parents so！
They are the most remunerative customers I know；
For many many years they've kept starvation from my doors：
I never knew so criminal a family as yours！
〃The common country folk in this insipid neighbourhood
Have nothing to confess； they're so ridiculously good；
And if you marry any one respectable at all；
Why； you'll reform； and what will then become of FATHER PAUL？〃
The worthy priest； he up and drew his cowl upon his crown；
And started off in haste to tell the news to ROBBER BROWN …
To tell him how his daughter； who was now for marriage fit；
Had winked upon a sorter； who reciprocated it。
Good ROBBER BROWN he muffled up his anger pretty well：
He said； 〃I have a notion； and that notion I will tell；
I will nab this gay young sorter； terrify him into fits；
And get my gentle wife to chop him into little bits。
〃I've studied human nature； and I know a thing or two：
Though a girl may fondly love a living gent； as many do …
A feeling of disgust upon her senses there will fall
When she looks upon his body chopped particularly small。〃
He traced that gallant sorter to a still suburban square；
He watched his opportunity； and seized him unaware；
He took a life…preserver and he hit him on the head；
And MRS。 BROWN dissected him before she went to bed。
And pretty little ALICE grew more settled in her mind；
She never more was guilty of a weakness of the kind；
Until at length good ROBBER BROWN bestowed her pretty hand
On the promising young robber； the lieutenant of his band。
Ballad： MISTER WILLIAM。
OH； listen to the tale of MISTER WILLIAM； if you please；
Whom naughty； naughty judges sent away beyond the seas。
He forged a party's will； which caused anxiety and strife；
Resulting in his getting penal servitude for life。
He was a kindly goodly man； and naturally prone；
Instead of taking others' gold； to give away his own。
But he had heard of Vice； and longed for only once to strike …
To plan ONE little wickedness … to see what it was like。
He argued with himself； and said； 〃A spotless man am I；
I can't be more respectable； however hard I try！
For six and thirty years I've always been as good as gold；
And now for half an hour I'll plan infamy untold！
〃A baby who is wicked at the early age of one；
And then reforms … and dies at thirty…six a spotless son；
Is never； never saddled with his babyhood's defect；
But earns from worthy men consideration and respect。
〃So one who never revelled in discreditable tricks
Until he reached the comfortable age of thirty…six；
May then for half an hour perpetrate a deed of shame；
Without incurring permanent disgrace； or even blame。
〃That babies don't commit such crimes as forgery is true；
But little sins develop； if you leave 'em to accrue；
And he who shuns all vices as successive seasons roll；
Should reap at length the benefit of so much self…control。
〃The common sin of babyhood … objecting to be drest …
If you leave it to accumulate at compound interest；
For anything you know； may represent； if you're alive；
A burglary or murder at the age of thirty…five。
〃Still； I wouldn't take advantage of this fact； but be content
With some pardonable folly … it's a mere experiment。
The greater the temptation to go wrong； the less the sin；
So with something that's particularly tempting I'll begin。
〃I would not steal a penny； for my income's very fair …
I do not want a penny … I have pennies and to spare …
And if I stole a penny from a money…bag or till；
The sin would be enormous … the temptation being NIL。
〃But if I broke asunder all such pettifogging bounds；
And forged a party's Will for （say） Five Hundred Thousand Pounds；
With such an irresistible temptation to a haul；
Of course the sin must be infinitesimally small。
〃There's WILSON who is dying … he has wealth from Stock and rent …
If I divert his riches from their natural descent；
I'm placed in a position to indulge each little whim。〃
So he diverted them … and they； in turn； diverted him。
Unfortunately； though； by some unpardonable flaw；
Temptation isn't recognized by Britain's Common Law；
Men found him out by some peculiarity of touch；
And WILLIAM got a 〃lifer；〃 which annoyed him very much。
For； ah！ he never reconciled himself to life in gaol；
He fretted and he pined； and grew dispirited and pale；
He was numbered like a cabman； too； which told upon him so
That his spirits； once so buoyant； grew uncomfortably low。
And sympathetic gaolers would remark； 〃It's very true；
He ain't been brought up common； like the likes of me and you。〃
So they took him into hospital； and gave him mutton chops；
And chocolate； and arrowroot； and buns； and malt and hops。
Kind Clergymen； besides； grew interested in his fate；
Affected by the details of his
