the crime of sylvestre bonnard(西维斯特·博拉德的罪行)-第29章
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Mademoiselle？〃
〃I thought that Mademoiselle Prefere was right。 But I don't care at
all。。。（I know it is naughty what I am going to say）。。。I don't care a bit； not a
bit； whether Mademoiselle Prefere is or is not right about anything。〃
〃Well； then； content yourself； Jeanne； Mademoiselle Prefere was not
right。〃
〃Yes； yes； she was quite right that time； but I wanted to love
everybody who loved youeverybody without exceptionand I cannot do
it； because it would never be possible for me to love Mademoiselle
Prefere。〃
〃Listen； Jeanne；〃 I answered； very seriously； 〃Mademoiselle Prefere
has become good to you； try now to be good to her。〃
She answered sharply；
〃It is very easy for Mademoiselle Prefere to be good to me； and it
would be very difficult indeed for me to be good to her。〃
I then said； in a still more serious tone：
〃My child； the authority of a teacher is sacred。 You must consider your
schoolmistress as occupying the place to you of the mother whom you
lost。〃
I had scarcely uttered this solemn stupidity when I bitterly regretted it。
The child turned pale； and the tears sprang to her eyes。
〃Oh； Monsieur！〃 she cried； 〃how could you say such a thingYOU？
You never knew mamma！〃
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Ay； just Heaven！ I did know her mamma。 And how indeed could I have
been foolish enough to have said what I did？
She repeated； as if to herself：
〃Mamma！ my dear mamma！ my poor mamma！〃
A lucky chance prevented me from playing the fool any further。 I do
not know how it happened at that moment I looked as if I was going to cry。
At my age one does not cry。 It must have been a bad cough which brought
the tears into my eyes。 But； anyhow； appearances were in my favour。
Jeanne was deceived by them。 Oh！ what a pure and radiant smile suddenly
shone out under her beautiful wet eyelashes like sunshine among
branches after a summer shower！ We took each other by the hand and sat a
long while without saying a word absolutely happy。 Those celestial
harmonies which I once thought I heard thrilling through my soul while I
knelt before that tomb to which a saintly woman had guided me； suddenly
awoke again in my heart； slow…swelling through the blissful moments with
infinite softness。 Doubtless the child whose hand pressed my own also
heard them； and then； elevated by their enchantment above the material
world； the poor old man and the artless young girl both knew that a tender
ghostly Presence was making sweetness all about them。
〃My child；〃 I said at last； 〃I am very old； and many secrets of life；
which you will only learn little by little； have been revealed to me。 Believe
me； the future is shaped out of the past。 Whatever you can do to live
contentedly here； without impatience and without fretting； will help you
live some future day in peace and joy in your own home。 Be gentle； and
learn how to suffer。 When one suffers patiently one suffers less。 If you
should be badly treated； Madame de Gabry and I would both consider
ourselves badly treated in your person。〃。。。
〃Is your health very good indeed； dear Monsieur？〃
It was Mademoiselle Prefere； approaching stealthily behind us； who
had asked the question with a peculiar smile。 My first idea was to tell her
to go to the devil； my second； that her mouth was as little suited for
smiling as a frying…pan for musical purposes； my third was to answer her
politely and assure her that I hoped she was very well。
She sent the young girl out to take a walk in the garden； then； pressing
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one hand upon her pelerine and extending the other towards the Tableau
d'Honneur； she showed me the name of Jeanne Alexandre written at the
head of the list in large text。
〃I am very much pleased；〃 I said to her； 〃to find that you are satisfied
with the behaviour of that child。 Nothing could delight me more； and I am
inclined to attribute this happy result to your affectionate vigilance。 I have
taken the liberty to send you a few books which I think may serve both to
instruct and to amuse young girls。 You will be able to judge by glancing
over them whether they are adapted to the perusal of Mademoiselle
Alexandre and her companions。〃
The gratitude of the schoolmistress not only overflowed in words； but
seemed about to take the form of tearful sensibility。 In order to change the
subject I observed；
〃What a beautiful day this is！〃
〃Yes；〃 she replied； 〃and if this weather continues； those dear children
will have a nice time for their enjoyment。〃 〃I suppose you are referring to
the holidays。 But Mademoiselle Alexandre； who has no relatives； cannot
go away。 What in the world is she going to do all alone in this great big
house？〃
〃Oh； we will do everything we can to amuse her。。。。 I will take her to
the museums and…〃
She hesitated； blushed； and continued；
〃and to your house； if you will permit me。〃
〃Why of course！〃 I exclaimed。 〃That is a first…rate idea。〃
We separated very good friends with one another。 I with her； because I
had been able to obtain what I desired； she with me； for no appreciable
motivewhich fact； according to Plato； elevated her into the highest rank
of the Hierarchy of Souls。
。。。And nevertheless it is not without a presentiment of evil that I find
myself on the point of introducing this person into my house。 And I would
be very glad indeed to see Jeanne in charge of anybody else rather than of
her。 Maitre Mouche and Mademoiselle Prefere are characters whom I
cannot at all understand。 I never can imagine why they say what they do
say； nor why they do what they do； they have a mysterious something in
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common which makes me feel uneasy。 As Jeanne said to me a little while
ago： 〃One is uneasy about what one cannot understand。〃
Alas！ at my age one has learned only too well how little sincerity there
is in life； one has learned only too well how much one loses by living a
long time in this world； and one feels that one can no longer trust any
except the young。
August 12。
I waited for them。 In fact； I waited for them very impatiently。 I
exerted all my powers of insinuation and of coaxing to induce Therese to
receive them kindly； but my powers in this direction are very limited。
They came。 Jeanne was neater and prettier than I had ever expected to see
her。 She has not； it is true； anything approaching the charm of her mother。
But to…day； for the first time； I observed that she has a pleasing face； and a
pleasing face is of great advantage to a woman in this world。 I think that
her hat was a little on one side； but she smiled； and the City of Books was
all illuminated by that smile。
I watched Therese to see whether the rigid manners of the old
housekeeper would soften a little at the sight of the young girl。 I saw her
turning her lustreless eyes upon Jeanne； I saw her long wrinkled face； her
toothless mouth； and that pointed chin of hers like the chin of some
puissant old fairy。 And that was all I could see。
Mademoiselle Prefere made her appearance all in blueadvanced；
retreated； skipped； tripped； cried out； sighed； cast her eyes down； rolled
her eyes up； bewildered herself with excusessaid she dared not； and
nevertheless daredsaid she would never dare again； and nevertheless
dared againmade courtesies innumerablemade； in short； all the fuss she
could。
〃What a lot of books！〃 she screamed。 〃And have you really read them
all； Monsieur Bonnard？〃
〃Alas！ I have；〃 I replied； 〃and that is just the reason that I do not know
anything； for there is not a single one of those books which does not
contradict some other book； so that by the time one has read them all one
does not know what to think about anything。 That is just my condition；
Madame。〃
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Thereupon she called Jeanne for the purpose of communicating her
impressions。 But Jeanne was looking out of the window。
〃How beautiful it is！〃 she said to us。 〃How I love to see the river
flowing！ It makes you think about all kinds of things。〃
Mademoiselle Prefere having removed her hat and exhibited a
forehead tricked out with blonde curls； my housekeeper sturdily snatched
up the hat at once； with the observation that she did not like to see people's
clothes scattered over the furniture。 Then she approached Jeanne and
asked her for her 〃things；〃 calling her 〃my little lady！〃 Where…upon the
little lady； giving up her cloak and hat； exposed to view a very graceful
neck and a lithe figure； whose outlines were beautifully relieved against
the great glow of the open window； and I could have wished that some one
else might have seen her at that momentsome one very different from an
aged housekeeper； a schoolmistress frizzled like a sheep； and this old
humbug of an archivist and paleographer。
〃So you are looking at the Seine；〃 I said to her。 〃See how it sparkles in
the sun！〃
〃Yes；〃 she replied； leaning over the windowbar； 〃it looks like a flowing
of fire。 But see how nice and cool it looks on the other side over there
under the shadow of the willows！ That little spot there pleases me better
than all the rest。〃
〃Good！〃 I answered。 〃I see that the river has a charm for you。 How
would you like； with Mademoiselle Prefere's permission； to make a t
