how to learn any language-第15章
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between stations and an alarm sounded。 It seems a band of militant women tried to board
the train and hijack it。 They were eventually beaten back； before the men in the club car
even had to put their pants back on。
Le train； masculine。
The French word for “café” is le café； masculine。 You could either confect another
all male scenario for a café similar to the one you did for the train。 Or imagine a
masculine name emblazoned over the entrance – something like the Macho Café or the
Rambo Café。
Le café； masculine。
“Hour” in French is l’heure； feminine。 Occasionally you get a gift like this one。
Heure is pronounced very much like her without the h。
L’heure； feminine。
“Nose” in French is le nez； masculine。
The members of which sex break their noses playing football and hockey； boxing；
wrestling； and fighting with wise guys who insult their dates？
Le nez； masculine。
“Night” in French is la nuit； feminine。
Who ever heard of a “man of the night？”
La nuit； feminine。
“Ticket” in French is le billet； masculine。
Always look for opportunities to incorporate a memory hook for the gender as you
capture the word itself。 Billet is pronounced bee…yay； almost exactly like the letters B。A。
as in Bachelor of Arts。 If “bachelor” doesn’t have a sufficiently strong male connotation
to you； imagine a giant male bumble bee buzzing around。
Le billet； masculine。
“Train station” in French is la gare； feminine。
Shall we imagine women waiting for their homebound commuting husbands at the
train station？ Not a good idea。 You may forget whether the waiting women or the
expected husbands are the star of the association。 How about hundreds of women waiting
for one man； pouncing upon him and fighting over him as he unsuspectingly steps off the
train？
La gare； feminine。
“Church” in French is l’eglise； feminine。
Imagine an angry mob of French women storming a church in France； demanding
that women be allowed into the Catholic priesthood。
L’eglise； feminine。
Let this one be a lesson to you。 “Mustache” in French is la moustache； feminine！
Imagine the circus lady with a mustache； or a new French wine that causes women
to grow mustaches； or a little girl asking her mother if she can ever have a mustache。
La moustache； feminine。
Some languages have neuter gender too。 Try to come up with associations that
suggest icy impersonality。
“House” in German is das Haus； neuter。
Imagine a house so cold and unappealing it couldn’t have possibly been graced by
man or woman for years。 No one lives there or would ever conceivably want to。
Das Haus； neuter。
“Pen” in Russian is pero； pronounced pee…RAW。 What could be more sexless than a
pea that’s raw？
Pero； neuter。
Reinforcement
You now have a brand new “closet；” a foreign language vocabulary memory system that
lets you hang up new words as if they were new clothes。 The system just presented will
work even better for you if you keep a few tips in mind。
Every example given above is clean in word； deed； and thought。 Every one could
have been presented from the stage in Yadkinville； North Carolina； YMCA during
Foreign Language Week。 I refuse to do any dirty writing； so you have to do some dirty
thinking （if you will） to get maximum benefit from the system。
The more vivid； in fact； the more vulgar； your associations are； the more readily
they will probably come to mind。 Feel free； in your mental imagery； to take clothes off。
Get people naked。 Get everybody into bed； in the tub； swinging from vines； or making
nominating speeches immersed in bubbling Romanian mud。 Get them wherever you need
them so that the association you want is readily retrievable。 X…rated images come readily
to mind； even to the minds of nice people。 Make your associative images lurid and
unforgettable。
We’ve refrained in our model examples from using names and places to buttress our
associations。 In a book or a class； we can’t。 Except for famous figures and places we all
know in common； names and places don’t mean the same things to everybody。 As
individuals； however； we can haul off and use any and every proper name we know；
whether from our personal lives or from stage； screen； radio； video； song； literature； and
legend。
Does the foreign word demand the sound – or any part of the sound – of a Harry； an
Edna； a Philip； an Art； a Harold； a Doreen； a Billy； a Lance？ If that name belongs to
someone you actually know； your associations will come to you more rapidly and last
longer。
Did you grow up around a Reidsville； a Colfax； a Burlington； a Charlotte； a Haw
River； or a Mt。 Pisgah？ Your associations with the foreign words can be enriched by
place names that sounds like or almost like your target words。 You don’t actually have to
have those places in your biography； so long as you know them and can visualise them
and use them as lassos to haul in and hog tie similar sounding words。 I’ve never been to
Nantucket； but when attacking the Indonesian word for “tired” （NAN…tuk）； I imagine
getting so tired on my initial visit to Nantucket that I collapse into bed exhausted shortly
after lunch。
Yet another asset to you is the body of words you already know in another foreign
language； or even in the language you’re learning。 Those who know many languages may
conquer a four syllable word by bringing in sounds from four different languages。 This is
a classic case of the rich getting richer。 Every new word you learn is one more potential
hook for grabbing still newer words。
Don’t fight to forge a winning association。 If at first you don’t succeed； try； try
again。 Then give up！ Not all words can be forced into the system； and you’re better off
not wasting good language learning time trying to mash an ill fitting shoe onto
Cinderella’s sister’s foot。 Over ninety percent will fit； automatically； neatly； or after some
effort。 The others； the holdouts； will have to be learned by old familiar rote learning。
Don’t forget： make your associations vivid； even if that means making them vulgar。
You’ll find that so many truly comical cartoons will dance through your head as
you craft your associative images； you’ll find yourself constantly having to explain
“What’s so funny？” to native speakers who wonder what’s so hilarious about those
ordinary words they’re teaching you in their language！
The Plunge
Talk！
Americans feel； with justification； that we’re handicapped when it come to learning other
languages。 Smaller countries with lots of borders and lots of strange languages on the
other side offer more opportunities to absorb other languages than a gigantic United
States bounded by the world’s two largest oceans and only two land neighbours； the
larger one speaking； for the most part； the same language we do。
Admittedly； it’s hard to find a Dutchman who doesn’t speak four or five languages；
a Swiss who doesn’t speak at least three； or a Finn； a Belgian； or a Hong Kong Chinese
who doesn’t speak at least two。 Norwegians； Swedes； and Danes subject us to the
humiliation of speaking fluent English ot each other just to be polite when Americans are
present。
Those peoples are not kissed by tongues of flame that render them more intelligent
than Americans。 They’re simply positioned better by geography and history when it
comes to acquiring more than one language。
Americans； however； hold one high card that too frequently goes unplayed。 We’re
gregarious。 We’re extroverts。 Some say it contemptuously。 Some say it admiringly。 But
those who know us best agree that we Americans are the only people in the world who
enjoy speaking another language badly！
The typical European would sooner invite you to inspect his bedroom fifty seconds
after waking up than speak a language he doesn’t speak well。 Most people in the world
are shy； embarrassed； even paralysed when it comes to letting themselves be heard in
languages they speak less than fluently。 An American may master a foreign language to
the point where he considers himself fluent。 A European； however； who speaks a
language equally well and no better will often deny he speaks it at all！
Give an American a word in another language and he’s in action。 Give him a phrase
and he’s in deeper action。 Give him five phrases and he’s dangerous。 Take that American
trait and exemplify it。
Talk。 Go ahead and talk！
Head into your target language like a moth to the flame； like a politician to the vote。
Is the gentleman you’ve just been introduced to from France？ And is French the language
you happen to be studying？ Then attack。
Don’t you dare offer a lame chuckle as you explain in English that you’re trying to
learn French but you’re sorry； you’re not very good at it yet。 That’s like giggling and
telling the mugger who ambushes you in an alley that you’re learning karate but sorry；
you’re not very good at it yet。
It’s okay to tell him you’re just a beginner； but tell him in French。 Learn enough
utility phrases in whatever language you’re studying to profit from every encounter。
Comb through your phrase book （the Berlitz For Travellers series is excellent） and make
it your priority to learn phrases such as “I don’t speak your language well；” “Do you
understand me？”； “Please speak more slowly；” “Please repeat；” “How do you say that in
your language？”； “Sorry； I don’t understand；” and others that together can serve as your
cornerstone and launching pad。
Most phrase books offer too few of these “crutch” phrases。 When you meet your
first encounter； pull out pen and pad and fatten your crutch collection。 Learn how to say
things such as； “I’m only a beginner in your language but I’m determined to become
fluent；” “Do you have enough patience to talk with a foreigner who’s trying to learn your
language？” “I wonder if I’ll ever be as fluent in your language as you are in English；” “I
wish your language were as easy as your people are polite；” and “Where in your country
do you think your language is spoken the best？” Roll your own alternatives。 You’ll soon
find yourself developing what comedians call a “routine；” a pattern of conversation that
actually gives you a feeling of fluency along with the inspiration to nurture that feeling
into fruition。
Hauling off and speaking the language you’re studying versus merely sitting there
knowing it makes the difference between being a business administration professor and a
multimillionaire entrepreneur。
It’s time to apply the parable of the Parrot。
A man looking for an anniversary present for his wife after fourteen years of
marriage found himself in front of a pet shop。 In the window was a parrot； not
particularly distinguished in size or plumage； but the price tag on that parrot was a
whopping seven
