phyllis of philistia-第38章

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〃Dearest　Ella；　you　will　not　break　my　heart！〃　said　the　girl　piteously。

〃Will　you　give　him　up　for　your　love　of　me？〃　the　woman　cried　again；　and　Phyllis　felt　her　hands　tighten　upon　her　wrists。

〃I　will　forget　that　you　have　said　such　words；〃　said　the　girl。

The　woman　flung　away　her　hands　after　retaining　them　for　a　few　moments　in　silence；　and　then　throwing　herself　back　in　her　chair；　laughed　loud　and　long。

Phyllis　rose　to　her　feet。

〃You　poor　dear！〃　cried　Ella。　〃It　was　a　shamea　shame　to　play　such　a　jest　upon　you！　But　I　felt　in　a　tragic　mood；　and　the　line　between　comedy　and　tragedy　is　a　very　fine　one。　Forgive　my　little　freak；　dear；　and　let　us　be　human　beings　once　more；　living　in　a　world　that　cannot　be　taken　so　seriously。　Don't　go　by　the　evening　train；　Phyllis；　stay　all　night　with　me。　I　have　so　much　to　say　to　you。　I　want　to　talk　to　you。　How　can　you　leave　me　here　all　alone？〃

Phyllis　could　have　told　her　that　how　she　could　leave　her　all　alone　was　because　Herbert　Courtland　had　left　for　London　on　the　previous　day。　She　did　not　make　an　explanation　to　her　on　this　basis；　however；　she　merely　said　that　it　would　interfere　with　her　plans　to　remain　longer　at　The　Moorings。　She　had　to　attend　that　great　function　with　her　father　that　night。

Ella　called　her　very　unkind；　but　showed　no　desire　to　revert　to　the　topic　upon　which　they　had　been　conversing；　when　she　had　thought　fit　to　ask　her　that　jocular　question　which　Phyllis　had　said　she　would　forget。

But　Phyllis　did　not　keep　her　word。　On　the　contrary　she　thought　of　nothing　else　but　that　question　all　the　time　she　was　in　the　railway　carriage　going　to　Paddington。

It　was　a　terrible　question　in　Phyllis'　eyes　for　a　woman　with　a　husband　to　put　to　her　girl…friend。

More　than　once　during　the　week　Phyllis　had　been　led　to　ask　herself　if　she　was　quite　certain　that　her　terrible　surmise　regarding　the　influence　which　dominated　Ella's　recent　actions　was　true。　Now　and　again　she　felt　an　impulse　to　fall　upon　her　knees　and　pray；　as　she　had　once　before　prayed；　that　the　sin　of　that　horrible　suspicion　might　be　forgiven　her。　How　could　it　be　possible；　she　thought；　that　Ella　should　forget　all　that　a　true　woman　should　ever　remember！

But　nownow；　as　she　sat　in　the　train　on　her　way　back　to　London；　there　was　no　room　left　in　her　mind　for　doubt　on　this　matter。　The　tragic　earnestness　with　which　Ella　had　asked　her　that　question；　tightening　her　fingers　upon　her　wrists？　〃/Will　you　give　up　Herbert　Courtland　in　order　to　help　me？/〃the　passionate　whisper；　the　quivering　lipsall　told　her　with　overwhelming　force　that　what　she　had　surmised　was　the　truth。

She　felt　that　Ella　had　confessed　to　her　that　her　infatuationPhyllis　called　it　infatuationhad　not　passed　away；　though　she　had　been　strong　enough　upon　that　night；　when　her　husband　had　so　suddenly　returned；　to　fly　from　its　consequences。　No；　her　infatuation　had　not　died。

But　Herbert　Courtlandwhat　of　him？　He　had　also　had　strengthonce。　Would　he　have　strength　again？　He　had　told　her；　while　they　were　together　in　one　of　the　boats　drifting　down　the　placid　river；　that　he　believed　in　the　influence　which　a　woman　could　exercise　upon　a　man's　life　being　capable　of　changing　his　nature　so　completely　as　if　a　miracle　had　been　formed　upon　him。　She　had　not　had　the　courage　to　ask　him　if　he　had　any　particular　instance　in　his　mind　that　impressed　this　belief　upon　him。

Had　he　been　led　to　cast　that　infatuationif　he　had　ever　been　subjected　to　itbehind　him；　by　reason　of　her　influence　over　him　since　she　had　repeated　to　him　the　pathetic　words　of　Mrs。　Haddon；　and　he　had　gone　straight　aboard　the　yacht　on　that　strange　cruise？

She　could　scarcely　doubt　that　he　was　ready　to　acknowledge　how　great　had　been　her　influence　upon　his　life。　He　had　shown　her　in　countless　ways　that　she　had　accomplished　all　that　she　had　sought　to　achieve。　She　had　had　no　need　to　throw　herself　at　his　headthe　phrase　which　Ella　suggested　her　fellow…guests　would　probably　employ　in　referring　to　the　relative　positions　of　Phyllis　and　Herbert。　No；　she　had　ever　found　him　by　her　side；　and　it　did　not　need　her　to　exercise　much　cleverness　to　keep　him　there。

But　then；　why　had　he　so　suddenly　hurried　away　from　that　pleasant　life　beside　the　still　waters？

This　was　the　question　which　was　on　her　mind　as　the　train　ran　into　the　station　at　Paddington。　She　got　out　of　the　carriage；　and　while　her　maid　went　to　look　after　the　luggage；　she　glanced　down　the　platform　for　the　footman。　He　came　up　to　her　in　a　moment　and　took　her　dressing…bag　and　jewel…case。

〃The　brougham　is　here；　I　suppose？〃　she　said；　as　she　walked　down　the　platform。

It　was　at　the　entrance　to　the　station；　he　told　her。

She　paused　for　a　moment；　and　glanced　back　to　see　if　there　had　been　much　luggage　in　the　train　which　she　had　leftif　her　maid　would　be　likely　to　be　kept　waiting　for　long。　At　that　instant　a　porter；　with　a　portmanteau　on　his　shoulder　and　a　Gladstone　bag　in　his　hand；　hurrying　up　by　the　side　of　the　train　which　was　ready　to　depart　from　the　next　platform；　shouted　to　a　group　of　Eton　boys　who　were　blocking　the　way：

〃By　your　leave；　gents！〃

She　started　and　took　a　step　to　one　side；　and　that　instant　was　sufficient　to　make　her　aware　of　the　fact　that　the　portmanteau　carried　by　the　porter　to　the　train　which　was　about　to　leave　for　Maidenhead　was　Herbert　Courtland's。　There　was　no　mistaking　it。　It　bore　on　one　end　his　initials　and　his　private　sign。

She　took　a　few　steps　nearer　the　train　by　which　she　had　come；　and　followed　the　porter　with　her　eyes。

He　put　the　portmanteau　into　the　luggage　van；　and　then　returned　with　the　Gladstone　bag　to　the　side　of　a　compartment。　She　saw　him　place　it　in　the　network；　and　touch　his　cap　as　he　received　his　/douceur/　from　the　passenger　who　sat　at　the　door　with　an　evening　paper　in　his　hand。

She　saw　that　that　passenger　was　Herbert　Courtland。

She　told　the　footman　who　stood　beside　her　to　take　her　bag　and　case　to　the　brougham　and　then　return　to　help　her　maid　with　the　rest　of　the　luggage。　He　followed　her　down　the　platform。

In　a　short　time　she　was　being　driven　home；　her　maid　following　with　the　luggage　in　another　vehicle。

She　did　not　begin　to　change　her　traveling　dress　immediately　on　retiring　to　her　room。　She　did　not　even　take　off　her　hat。　She　stood　at　the　window　looking　out　over　a　scene　very　different　from　that　which　had　been　before　her　eyes　every　day　during　the　previous　week。　After　a　quarter　of　an　hour's　listlessness　at　the　window；　she　spent　another　quarter　of　an　hour　sitting　motionless　in　a　chair。　Then　she　rose　and　looked　at　herself　in　a　mirror　that　showed　her　herself　from　head　to　foot。　She　examined　her　feet　with　curious　deliberation；　and　then　looked　with　a　critical　side　glance　at　the　reflection　of　her　face。　（She　could　not　fail　to　have　noticed　that　it　was　unusually　pale。）　She　removed　her　hat；　surveyed　herself　once　more；　then；　turning　away　with　an　exclamation　of　impatience；　she　crumpled　up　her　hat　with　both　her　hands　and　flung　it；　just　as　a　wicked　child　would　have　flung　it；　across　the　room。

〃Let　them　both　go　together　to　perditionto　perditionto　perdition！〃　she　said　with　a　bitterness　that　had　never　previously　been　in　her　voice。　〃Let　them　go　together。　I　have　done　my　best　for　themfor　her　for　her。　I　give　them　up　now　for　evermore。〃

After　a　minute　or　two　of　statuesque　passion　she　went　across　the　room　and　picked　up　her　bruised　hat。　She　looked　at　it；　turning　it　round　in　her　hands。　Then　she　dropped　it　suddenly；　and　flung　herself　upon　the　sofa；　crying　out　in　a　whirlwind　of　tears：

〃Oh；　Ella；　Ella；　I　would　have　saved　youI　meant　to　save　you；　indeed！　I　would　have　done　everything　to　save　youeverything！〃



CHAPTER　XXXIII。

I　WONDER　IF　I　EVER　LOVED　YOU　UNTIL　THIS　MOMENT。

It　was　a　rather　tedious　evening　for　Ella　Linton　after　Phyllis　had　taken　her　departure。　Why　on　earth；　she　asked　herself；　had　she　been　such　a　fool　as　to　lay　out　her　plans　to　have　this　lonely　evening？　Then　she　remembered　that　two　of　her　guests　had　meant　to　stay　until　Wednesday　morning；　but　had　received　a　letter　necessitating　their　departure　for　town　on　Monday　night。　But　this　fact　should　not　have　condemned　her　to　a　solitary　evening；　Ella　reflected。　She　should　have　been　thoughtful　enough　to　change　her　own　plans　to　correspond　with　the　change　in　the　plans　of　her　guests。　A　nice；　quiet；　contemplative　evening　beside　the　still　waters　may　suit　the　requirements　of　some　temperaments；　but　it　was　not　just　what　Ella　regarded　as　most　satisfying　to　her　mood　of　the　hour。　It　was　a　long　time　since　she　had　spent　a　lonely　evening；　and　although　she　had　now　rather　more　food　for　contemplation　than　at　any　other　period　of　her　life；　she　did　not　feel　contemplative。

Then　it　suddenly　occurred　to　her　to　ask　herself　why；　after　all；　should　she　be　condemned　to　a　contemplative　evening？　What　was　there　to　hinder　her　taking　a　train　to　town　after　she　had　dined？　Once　in　town　she　knew　that　all　prospect　of　contemplation　would　be　at　an　end。

She　rang　her　bell　and　told　her　maid　that　she　had　changed　her　mind　in　regard　to　staying　another　night　at　The　Mooring；　she　would　leave　after　dinner；　wasn't　there　a　train　about　nine　from　Maidenhead？

It　was　when　she　was　about　to　go　down　to　dinner　that　she　heard　the　sound　of　wheels　upon　the　gravel　walk。　Was　it　possible　that　her　newly　made　plans　might　also　be　deranged？　Was　this　a　fresh　visitor　arriving　by　a　fly　from　Maidenheadshe　saw　that　the　vehicle　was　a　fly。

There　was　no　one　in　the　room　to　hear　the　cry　of　delight　that　she　gave　when　she　saw　Herbert　at　the　porch　of　the　house；　the　driver　having　deposited　his　portmanteau　and　Gladstone　bag　at　his　feet。

He　had　returned　to　herhe；　whom　she　fancied　to　be　far　away；　he　who　had　forsaken　her；　as　she　thought；　as　she　feared；　as　she　（at　times）　hoped；　forever。　He　had　returned　to　her。　There　was　no　one　now　to　stand　between　them。　He　was　all　her　own。

She　flung　off　the　dress　which　she　was　wearing；it　was　her　plainest　evening　gown；and　had　actually　got　on　another；　a　lovely　one　that　she　had　never　yet　worn；　before　her　maid　arrived　at　her　dressing　room。

〃Louise；〃　she　said；　〃send　a　message　downstairs　to　show　Mr。　Courtland　to　his　room；　and　mention　that　he　will　dine　with　me。　Come　back　at　once。　I　have　got　so　far　in　my　dressing　without　you；　I　can't　go　much　further；　however。〃

In　a　quarter　of　an　hour　she　was　surveying　herself　in　her　mirror　just　as　Phyllis　had　been　doing　an　hour　sooner；　only　on　her　face　was　a　very　different　expression　from　that　which　Phyllis　had　worn。　Her　eyes　were　brilliant　as　they　never　had　been　before；　except　once；　her　face　was　not　pale；　but　full　of　soft　color；　as　if　she　were　standing　beneath　the　shadow　of　a　mighty　rose…leaf　with　the　sunlight　above。　Her　neck　and　arms　were　of　the　same　delicate　tinge。　Her　smile　she　gave　as　she　surveyed　herself　was　a　smile　of　triumph；　very　different　from　the　expression　on　poor　Phyllis'　features　as　she　flung　her　hat　across　the　room。

〃Mine；　mine；　mine！〃　she　whispered；　nodding　with　a　smile　at　the　lovely　thing　so　full　of　warm　life　that　faced　her　with　a　smile。　〃He　is　mine　he　has　come　back　to　me；　I　will　keep　him。　I　shall　be　able　to　keep　him；　I　think。〃

She　had　scarcely　entered　the　drawing　room　before　he　was　beside　her；　and　he　had　scarcely　entered　before　a　servant　announced　that　dinner　was　served。　They　were　seated　at　the　dinner　table　before　they　had　exchanged　half　a　dozen　wordsbefore　she　had　time　to　ask　him　why　he　had　re