phyllis of philistia-第20章

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y　win。　Of　that　he　was　certain；　and　therefore　he　posted　his　impassioned　line　with　a　light　heart。

That　was　on　Tuesday。　He　had　still　two　days　that　he　might　employ　thinking　over　the　enterprise　to　which　he　was　committed；　and　he　certainly　made　the　most　of　his　time　in　this　direction。　Now　and　again；　as　he　thought　of　what　was　in　store　for　himfor　herhe　felt　as　if　he　were　lifted　off　the　earth；　and　at　other　times　he　felt　that　he　was　crushed　into　the　earthcrushed　into　it　until　he　had　become　incapable　of　any　thought　that　was　not　of　the　earth；　earthy。　At　such　moments　he　felt　inclined　to　walk　down　to　the　docks　and　step　aboard　the　first　vessel　that　was　sailing　eastward　or　westward　or　northward　or　southward。　Then　it　was　that　he　found　but　the　scantiest　comfort　in　the　consideration　of　the　loveliness　of　love。　Glorifying　life！　No；　corrupting　life　until　life　is　more　putrid　than　death。

That　was　what　love　wassomething　to　fly　from。　But　still　he　did　not　fly　from　the　vision　that　came　to　him　when　he　found　himself　alone　after　spending　the　evenings　in　brilliant　companya　vision　of　the　lovely　woman　who　was　waiting　for　him！　What　had　she　said？　Her　soulher　soul　would　be　lost　forevermore？

Well；　that　showed　that　she　was　a　woman；　at　any　rate；　and　he　loved　her　all　the　better　for　her　womanliness。　He　knew　very　well　that　if　God　is　a　Figure　of　Speech　with　men；　the　losing　of　a　soul　is　a　figure　of　speech　with　women。　The　expression　means　only　that　they　have　lost　the　chance　of　drinking　a　number　of　cups　of　tea　in　drawing　rooms　whose　doors　are　now　shut　to　them。　That　was　what　Ella　meant；　no　doubt。　If　she　were　openly　to　set　at　defiance　certain　of　those　laws　by　the　aid　of　which　society　was　kept　together　with　a　moderate　degree　of　consistency；　she　would　be　treated　as　an　outlaw。

After　all；　such　a　fate　was　not　without　its　bright　side。　Some　happiness　may　remain　to　human　beings　in　that　world　which　is　on　the　hither　side　of　London　drawing　rooms；　and　it　would　be　his　aim　in　life　to　see　that　she　had　all　the　happiness　that　the　world　could　give　her。

Pah！　He　felt　his　sentiment　becoming　a　trifle　brackish。　He　loved　her；　and　she　loved　him。　That　was　more　than　all　the　laws　and　the　profits　of　society　to　them。　That　was　the　beginning　and　the　end　of　the　whole　matterthe　origin　of　the　sin　（people　called　it　a　sin）　and　the　exculpation　of　the　sinners。　There　was　nothing　more　to　be　said　or　thought　about　the　matter。　Those　who　loved　would　understand。　Those　who　did　not　understand　would　condemn；　and　the　existence　of　either　class　was　of　no　earthly　importance　to　himself　or　to　Ella。

When　he　awoke　on　the　Thursday　morning　the　feeling　of　exultation　of　which　he　was　conscious　was　not　without　a　note　of　depression。　So　it　had　been　when　the　object　of　his　explorations　in　New　Guinea　had　been　attained；　and　he　looked　down　at　that　exquisite　thingthat　dead　splendor　at　his　feet。

He　wondered　if　the　attainment　of　every　great　object　which　a　man　may　have　in　life　brings　about　a　feeling　of　sadness　that　almost　neutralizes　the　exultation。　As　he　picked　up　his　letters　he　had　a　fear　that　among　them　there　might　be　one　from　Ella；　telling　him　that　she　had　come　to　the　conclusion　that　she　had　written　too　hastily　those　lines　which　he　had　received　on　Tuesdaythat；　on　consideration；　she　was　unwilling　to　lose　her　soul　for　love　of　him。

No　such　letter；　however；　was　among　his　correspondence。　（Could　it　be　possible　that　he　was　disappointed　on　account　of　this？）　He　received　an　intimation　from　Berlin　of　the　conferring　of　an　order　upon　him　in　recognition　of　his　exploration　of　a　territory　in　which　Germany　was　so　greatly　interested。　He　received　an　intimation　from　Vienna　that　a　gold　medal　had　been　voted　to　him　by　one　of　the　learned　societies　in　recognition　of　his　contributions　to　biological　science。　He　received　an　intimation　from　his　publishers　that　they　had　just　gone　to　press　with　another　thousand　（the　twelfth）　of　his　book；　and　he　received　thirteen　cards　of　invitation　to　various　functions　to　take　place　in　from　three　to　six　weeks'　time；　but　no　line　did　he　receive　from　Ella。

She　was　his　forever　and　ever；　whether　her　soul　would　be　lost　or　saved　in　consequence。

He　rather　thought　that　it　would　be　lost；　but　that　did　not　matter。　She　was　his　forever　and　ever。



CHAPTER　XVIII。

HERBERT　COURTLAND　IS　A　MAN　WHO　HAS　LIVED　WITH　HONOR。

It　was　a　long　day。

Toward　evening　he　recollected　that　he　had　to　leave　cards　upon　his　host　and　hostess　of　the　Monday　previous；　but　it　was　past　six　o'clock　when　he　found　himself　at　the　top　of　the　steps　of　Mr。　Ayrton's　house。　Before　his　ring　had　been　responded　to　a　victoria　drove　up　with　Phyllis；　and　in　a　moment　she　was　on　the　step　beside　him。

She　looked　radiant　in　the　costume　which　she　was　wearing。　He　thought　he　had　never　seen　a　lovelier　girlhe　was　certain　that　he　had　never　seen　a　better…dressed　girl。　（Mr。　Courtland　was　not　clever　enough　to　know　that　it　is　only　the　beautiful　girls　who　seem　well　dressed　in　the　eyes　of　men。）　There　was　a　certain　frankness　in　her　face　that　made　it　very　interestingthe　frankness　of　a　child　who　looks　into　the　face　of　the　world　and　wonders　at　its　reticence。　He　felt　her　soft　gray　eyes　resting　upon　his　face；　as　she　shook　hands　with　him　and　begged　him　to　go　in　and　have　tea　with　her。　He　felt　strangely　uneasy　under　her　eyes　this　evening；　and　his　self…possession　failed　him　so　far　as　to　make　it　impossible　for　him　to　excuse　himself。　It　did　not　occur　to　him　to　say　that　he　could　not　drink　tea　with　her　on　account　of　having　an　appointment　which　he　could　not　break　through　without　the　most　deplorable　results。　He　felt　himself　led　by　her　into　one　of　her　drawing　rooms；　and　sitting　with　his　back　to　the　window　while　her　frank　eyes　remained　on　his　face；　asking　（so　he　thought）　for　the　nearest　approach　to　their　frankness　in　response；　that　a　man　who　has　lived　in　the　world　of　men　dare　offer　to　a　maiden　whose　world　is　within　herself。

〃Oh；　yes！　I　got　the　usual　notification　of　the　Order　of　the　Bald　Eagle；〃　said　he；　in　reply　to　her　inquiry。　〃I　shall　wear　it　next　my　heart　until　I　die。　The　newspapers　announced　the　honor　that　had　been　done　to　me　the　same　morning。〃

〃You　cannot　keep　anything　out　of　the　papers；〃　said　Phyllis。

〃Even　if　you　want　toa　condition　which　doesn't　apply　to　my　case；〃　said　he。　〃My　publishers　admitted　to　me　last　week　that　they　wouldn't　rest　easy　if　any　newspaper　appeared　during　the　next　month　without　my　name　being　in　its　columns　in　some　place。〃

〃I'm　sure　they　were　delighted　at　the　development　of　the　/Spiritual　Aneroid's/　attack　upon　you；〃　said　Phyllis。

〃They　told　me　I　was　a　made　man；〃　said　he。

She　threw　back　her　headit　was　her　wayand　laughed。　Her　laughter　all　the　grace　of　girlhood　was　in　its　ring；　it　was　girlhood　made　audiblewas　lightening　her　fair　face　as　she　looked　at　him。

〃How　funny！〃　she　cried。　〃You　fight　your　way　through　the　New　Guinea　forests；　you　are　in　daily　peril　of　your　life；　you　open　up　a　new　country；　and　yet　you　are　not　a　made　man　until　you　are　attacked　by　a　wretched　newspaper。〃

〃That　is　the　standpoint　of　the　people　who　sell　books；　so　you　may　depend　upon　its　being　the　standpoint　of　the　people　who　buy　books；〃　said　he。

〃I　can　quite　believe　it；〃　said　she。　〃Mr。　Geraint；　the　novelist；　took　me　down　to　dinner　at　Mrs。　Lemuel's　last　night；　and　he　told　me　that　the　only　thing　that　will　make　people　buy　books　is　seeing　the　author's　portrait　in　some　of　the　illustrated　papers；　or　hearing　from　some　of　the　interviews　which　are　published　regarding　him　that　he　never　could　take　sugar　in　his　coffee。　The　reviews　of　his　books　are　read　only　by　his　brother　authors；　and　they　never　buy　a　book；　Mr。　Geraint　says；　but　the　interviews　are　read　by　the　genuine　buyers。〃

〃Mr。　Geraint　knows　his　public；　I'm　sure。〃

〃I　fancy　he　does。　He　would　be　very　amusing　if　he　didn't　aim　so　persistently　at　going　one　better　than　someone　else　in　his　anecdotes。　People　were　talking　at　dinner　about　your　having　massacred　the　natives　with　dynamiteyou　did；　you　know；　Mr。　Courtland。〃

〃Oh；　yes；　I　have　admitted　so　much　long　ago。　There　was　no　help　for　it。〃

〃Well；　of　course　everyone　was　laughing　when　papa　told　how　the　massacre　came　about；　and　this　annoyed　Mr。　Geraint　and　induced　him　to　tell　a　story　about　a　poor　woman　who　fancied　that　melinite　was　a　sort　of　food　for　children　that　caused　their　portraits　to　appear　in　the　advertisements；　so　she　bought　a　tin　of　it　and　gave　it　all　to　her　little　boy　at　one　meal。　It　so　happened；　however；　that　he　became　restless　during　the　night　and　fell　out　of　his　cradle。　That　happened　a　year　ago；　Mr。　Geraint　said；　and　yet　the　street　isn't　quite　ready　for　traffic　yet。〃

〃That　little　anecdote　of　Mr。　Geraint　makes　me　feel　very　meek。　If　at　any　time　I　am　tempted　to　think　with　pride　upon　my　dynamite　massacre；　I　shall　remember　Mr。　Geraint's　story；　and　hang　my　head。〃

〃We　were　all　amused　at　Mr。　Geraint's　lively　imagination；　but　much　more　so　when　Mr。　Topham；　the　under…secretary；　shook　his　head　gravely；　and　said　in　his　most　dignified　manner；　that　he　thought　the　reported　occurrencethe　melinite　incidentquite　improbable。　He　was　going　on　to　explain　that　the　composition　of　the　explosive　differed　so　materially　from　that　of　the　food　that　it　would　be　almost　impossible　for　any　mother　to　take　the　one　for　the　other；　when　our　hostess　rose。〃

〃Mr。　Topham　must　have　been　disappointed。　As　a　demonstrator　of　the　obvious　he　has　probably　no　equal　even　among　the　under…secretaries。　You　discussed　him　pretty　freely　in　the　drawing　room　afterward；　I　may　venture　to　suggest。〃

〃No；　we　discussed　you；　Mr。　Courtland。〃

〃A　most　unprofitable　topic。　From　what　standpointdynamite　massacres？〃

〃From　the　standpoint　of　heredity；　of　course。　Can　you　imagine　any　topic　being　discussed　in　a　drawing　room；　nowadays；　from　any　other　standpoint？　There　was　a　dear　old　lady　present；　Mrs。　Haddon；　and　she　said　she　had　been　a　friend　of　your　mother's。〃

〃So　she　was；　I　recollect　her　very　well。　I　should　like　to　go　see　her。〃

〃She　told　us　a　great　deal　about　your　mother；　and　your　sistera　sister　to　whom　you　were　greatly　attached。〃

Phyllis'　voice　had　become　low　and　serious；　every　tone　suggested　sympathy。

〃I　had　such　a　sister；〃　said　he　slowly。　His　eyes　were　not　turned　toward　her。　They　were　fixed　upon　a　little　model　of　St。　Catherine　of　Siena；a　virgin　among　the　clouds；which　was　set　in　the　panel　of　an　old　cabinet　beside　him。　〃I　had　such　a　sisterRosamund；　she　is　dead。〃

〃Mrs。　Haddon　told　us　so；〃　said　Phyllis。　〃She　talked　about　your　mother；　and　your　sister；　and　of　the　influence　which　they　had　had　upon　your　lifeyour　career。〃

〃They　are　both　dead；〃　said　he。

〃They　did　not　live　to　see　your　triumph；　that　is　what　your　tone　suggests；〃　said　she。　〃That　is　what　Mrs。　Haddon　saidthe　tears　were　in　her　eyeslast　night；　Mr。　Courtland。　I　wish　you　could　have　heard　her。　I　wish　you　could　have　heard　what　she　said　when　someone　made　a　commonplace　remark　as　to　how　sad　it　was　they　were　dead。〃

〃What　did　she　say；　Miss　Ayrton？〃

〃She　said；　'No；　no；　please　do　not　talk　about　death　overtaking　such　as　they。　The　mother；　who　transmits　her　nature　to　the　son；　renews　her　life　in　him；　it　is　not　he；　but　his　mother；　who　lives。'　And　then　she　asked；　'Do　you　suppose　that　Herbert　Courtland　ever　sets　out　on　any　of　his　great　enterprises　without　thinking　of　his　mother　and　sister；　without　feeling　that　he　must　do　something　worthy　of　them；　something　for　their　sake？　And　you　talk　of　them　as　i