david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第33章

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there　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Barkis　bade　us　good…bye；　and　drove　away　
snugly　to　their　own　home。　I　felt　then；　for　the　first　time；　that　I　had　
lost　Peggotty。　I　should　have　gone　to　bed　with　a　sore　heart　indeed　
under　any　other　roof　but　that　which　sheltered　little　Em’ly’s　head。　

Mr。　Peggotty　and　Ham　knew　what　was　in　my　thoughts　as　well　
as　I　did；　and　were　ready　with　some　supper　and　their　hospitable　
faces　to　drive　it　away。　Little　Em’ly　came　and　sat　beside　me　on　the　
locker　for　the　only　time　in　all　that　visit；　and　it　was　altogether　a　
wonderful　close　to　a　wonderful　day。　

It　was　a　night　tide；　and　soon　after　we　went　to　bed；　Mr。　Peggotty　
and　Ham　went　out　to　fish。　I　felt　very　brave　at　being　left　alone　in　
the　solitary　house；　the　protector　of　Em’ly　and　Mrs。　Gummidge；　
and　only　wished　that　a　lion　or　a　serpent；　or　any　ill…disposed　
monster；　would　make　an　attack　upon　us；　that　I　might　destroy　him；　
and　cover　myself　with　glory。　But　as　nothing　of　the　sort　happened　
to　be　walking　about　on　Yarmouth　flats　that　night；　I　provided　the　
best　substitute　I　could　by　dreaming　of　dragons　until　morning。　

With　morning　came　Peggotty；　who　called　to　me；　as　usual；　under　
my　window　as　if　Mr。　Barkis　the　carrier　had　been　from　first　to　last　a　
dream　too。　After　breakfast　she　took　me　to　her　own　home；　and　a　
beautiful　little　home　it　was。　Of　all　the　moveables　in　it；　I　must　have　
been　impressed　by　a　certain　old　bureau　of　some　dark　wood　in　the　
parlour　（the　tile…floored　kitchen　was　the　general　sitting…room）；　
with　a　retreating　top　which　opened；　let　down；　and　became　a　desk；　
within　which　was　a　large　quarto　edition　of　Foxe’s　Book　of　Martyrs。　
This　precious　volume；　of　which　I　do　not　recollect　one　word；　I　

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immediately　discovered　and　immediately　applied　myself　to；　and　I　
never　visited　the　house　afterwards；　but　I　kneeled　on　a　chair；　
opened　the　casket　where　this　gem　was　enshrined；　spread　my　arms　
over　the　desk；　and　fell　to　devouring　the　book　afresh。　I　was　chiefly　
edified；　I　am　afraid；　by　the　pictures；　which　were　numerous；　and　
represented　all　kinds　of　dismal　horrors；　but　the　Martyrs　and　
Peggotty’s　house　have　been　inseparable　in　my　mind　ever　since；　
and　are　now。　

I　took　leave　of　Mr。　Peggotty；　and　Ham；　and　Mrs。　Gummidge；　
and　little　Em’ly；　that　day；　and　passed　the　night　at　Peggotty’s；　in　a　
little　room　in　the　roof　（with　the　Crocodile　Book　on　a　shelf　by　the　
bed’s　head）　which　was　to　be　always　mine；　Peggotty　said；　and　
should　always　be　kept　for　me　in　exactly　the　same　state。　

‘Young　or　old；　Davy　dear；　as　long　as　I　am　alive　and　have　this　
house　over　my　head；’　said　Peggotty；　‘you　shall　find　it　as　if　I　
expected　you　here　directly　minute。　I　shall　keep　it　every　day；　as　I　
used　to　keep　your　old　little　room；　my　darling；　and　if　you　was　to　go　
to　China；　you　might　think　of　it　as　being　kept　just　the　same；　all　the　
time　you　were　away。’　

I　felt　the　truth　and　constancy　of　my　dear　old　nurse；　with　all　my　
heart；　and　thanked　her　as　well　as　I　could。　That　was　not　very　well；　
for　she　spoke　to　me　thus；　with　her　arms　round　my　neck；　in　the　
morning；　and　I　was　going　home　in　the　morning；　and　I　went　home　
in　the　morning；　with　herself　and　Mr。　Barkis　in　the　cart。　They　left　
me　at　the　gate；　not　easily　or　lightly；　and　it　was　a　strange　sight　to　
me　to　see　the　cart　go　on；　taking　Peggotty　away；　and　leaving　me　
under　the　old　elm…trees　looking　at　the　house；　in　which　there　was　
no　face　to　look　on　mine　with　love　or　liking　any　more。　

And　now　I　fell　into　a　state　of　neglect；　which　I　cannot　look　back　

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upon　without　compassion。　I　fell　at　once　into　a　solitary　condition；—　
apart　from　all　friendly　notice；　apart　from　the　society　of　all　other　
boys　of　my　own　age；　apart　from　all　companionship　but　my　own　
spiritless　thoughts；—which　seems　to　cast　its　gloom　upon　this　
paper　as　I　write。　

What　would　I　have　given；　to　have　been　sent　to　the　hardest　
school　that　ever　was　kept！—to　have　been　taught　something；　
anyhow；　anywhere！　No　such　hope　dawned　upon　me。　They　disliked　
me；　and　they　sullenly；　sternly；　steadily；　overlooked　me。　I　think　Mr。　
Murdstone’s　means　were　straitened　at　about　this　time；　but　it　is　
little　to　the　purpose。　He　could　not　bear　me；　and　in　putting　me　from　
him　he　tried；　as　I　believe；　to　put　away　the　notion　that　I　had　any　
claim　upon　him—and　succeeded。　

I　was　not　actively　ill…used。　I　was　not　beaten；　or　starved；　but　the　
wrong　that　was　done　to　me　had　no　intervals　of　relenting；　and　was　
done　in　a　systematic；　passionless　manner。　Day　after　day；　week　
after　week；　month　after　month；　I　was　coldly　neglected。　I　wonder　
sometimes；　when　I　think　of　it；　what　they　would　have　done　if　I　had　
been　taken　with　an　illness；　whether　I　should　have　lain　down　in　my　
lonely　room；　and　languished　through　it　in　my　usual　solitary　way；　
or　whether　anybody　would　have　helped　me　out。　

When　Mr。　and　Miss　Murdstone　were　at　home；　I　took　my　meals　
with　them；　in　their　absence；　I　ate　and　drank　by　myself。　At　all　times　
I　lounged　about　the　house　and　neighbourhood　quite　disregarded；　
except　that　they　were　jealous　of　my　making　any　friends：　thinking；　
perhaps；　that　if　I　did；　I　might　complain　to　someone。　For　this　
reason；　though　Mr。　Chillip　often　asked　me　to　go　and　see　him　（he　
was　a　widower；　having；　some　years　before　that；　lost　a　little　small　
light…haired　wife；　whom　I　can　just　remember　connecting　in　my　

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own　thoughts　with　a　pale　tortoise…shell　cat）；　it　was　but　seldom　that　
I　enjoyed　the　happiness　of　passing　an　afternoon　in　his　closet　of　a　
surgery；　reading　some　book　that　was　new　to　me；　with　the　smell　of　
the　whole　Pharmacopoeia　coming　up　my　nose；　or　pounding　
something　in　a　mortar　under　his　mild　directions。　

For　the　same　reason；　added　no　doubt　to　the　old　dislike　of　her；　I　
was　seldom　allowed　to　visit　Peggotty。　Faithful　to　her　promise；　she　
either　came　to　see　me；　or　met　me　somewhere　near；　once　every　
week；　and　never　empty…handed；　but　many　and　bitter　were　the　
disappointments　I　had；　in　being　refused　permission　to　pay　a　visit　
to　her　at　her　house。　Some　few　times；　however；　at　long　intervals；　I　
was　allowed　to　go　there；　and　then　I　found　out　that　Mr。　Barkis　was　
something　of　a　miser；　or　as　Peggotty　dutifully　expressed　it；　was　‘a　
little　near’；　and　kept　a　heap　of　money　in　a　box　under　his　bed；　
which　he　pretended　was　only　full　of　coats　and　trousers。　In　this　
coffer；　his　riches　hid　themselves　with　such　a　tenacious　modesty；　
that　the　smallest　instalments　could　only　be　tempted　out　by　artifice；　
so　that　Peggotty　had　to　prepare　a　long　and　elaborate　scheme；　a　
very　Gunpowder　Plot；　for　every　Saturday’s　expenses。　

All　this　time　I　was　so　conscious　of　the　waste　of　any　promise　I　
had　given；　and　of　my　being　utterly　neglected；　that　I　should　have　
been　perfectly　miserable；　I　have　no　doubt；　but　for　the　old　books。　
They　were　my　only　comfort；　and　I　was　as　true　to　them　as　they　
were　to　me；　and　read　them　over　and　over　I　don’t　know　how　many　
times　more。　

I　now　approach　a　period　of　my　life；　which　I　can　never　lose　the　
remembrance　of；　while　I　remember　anything：　and　the　recollection　
of　which　has　often；　without　my　invocation；　come　before　me　like　a　
ghost；　and　haunted　happier　times。　

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I　had　been　out；　one　day；　loitering　somewhere；　in　the　listless；　
meditative　manner　that　my　way　of　life　engendered；　when；　turning　
the　corner　of　a　lane　near　our　house；　I　came　upon　Mr。　Murdstone　
walking　with　a　gentleman。　I　was　confused；　and　was　going　by　them；　
when　the　gentleman　cried：　

‘What！　Brooks！’　

‘No；　sir；　David　Copperfield；’　I　said。　

‘Don’t　tell　me。　You　are　Brooks；’　said　the　gentleman。　‘You　are　
Brooks　of　Sheffield。　That’s　your　name。’　

At　these　words；　I　observed　the　gentleman　more　attentively。　His　
laugh　coming　to　my　remembrance　too；　I　knew　him　to　be　Mr。　
Quinion；　whom　I　had　gone　over　to　Lowestoft　with　Mr。　Murdstone　
to　see；　before—it　is　no　matter—I　need　not　recall　when。　

‘And　how　do　you　get　on；　and　where　are　you　being　educated；　
Brooks？’　said　Mr。　Quinion。　

He　had　put　his　hand　upon　my　shoulder；　and　turned　me　about；　
to　walk　with　them。　I　did　not　know　what　to　reply；　and　glanced　
dubiously　at　Mr。　Murdstone。　

‘He　is　at　home　at　present；’　said　the　latter。　‘He　is　not　being　
educated　anywhere。　I　don’t　know　what　to　do　with　him。　He　is　a　
difficult　subject。’　

That　old；　double　look　was　on　me　for　a　moment；　and　then　his　
eyes　darkened　with　a　frown；　as　it　turned；　in　its　aversion；　
elsewhere。　

‘Humph！’　said　Mr。　Quinion；　looking　at　us　both；　I　thought。　‘Fine　
weather！’　

Silence　ensued；　and　I　was　considering　how　I　could　best　
disengage　my　shoulder　from　his　hand；　and　go　away；　when　he　said：　

‘I　suppose　you　are　a　pretty　sharp　fellow　still？　Eh；　Brooks？’　

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‘Aye！　He　is　sharp　enough；’　said　Mr。　Murdstone；　impatiently。　
‘You　had　better　let　him　go。　He　will　not　thank　you　for　troubling　
him。’　

On　this　hint；　Mr。　Quinion　released　me；　and　I　made　the　best　of　
my　way　home。　Looking　back　as　I　turned　into　the　front　garden；　I　
saw　Mr。　Murdstone　leaning　against　the　wicket　of　the　churchyard；　
and　Mr。　Quinion　talking　to　him。　They　were　both　looking　after　me；　
and　I　felt　that　they　were　speaking　of　me。　

Mr。　Quinion　lay　at　our　house　that　night。　After　breakfast；　the　
next　morning；　I　had　put　my　chair　away；　and　was　going　out　of　the　
room；　when　Mr。　Murdstone　called　me　back。　He　then　gravely　
repaired　to　another　table；　where　his　sister　sat　herself　at　her　desk。　
Mr。　Quinion；　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets；　stood　looking　out　of　
window；　and　I　stood　looking　at　them　all。　

‘David；’　said　Mr。　Murdstone；　‘to　the　young　this　is　a　world　for　
action；　not　for　moping　and　droning　in。’　

—‘As　you　do；’　added　his　sister。　

‘Jane　Murdstone；　leave　it　to　me；　if　you　please。　I　say；　David；　to　
the　young　this　is　a　world　for　action；　and　not　for　moping　and　
droning　in。　It　is　especially　so　for　a　young　boy　of　your　disposition；　
which　requires　a　great　deal　of　correcting；　and　to　which　no　greater　
service　can　be　done　than　to　force　it　to　conform　to　the　ways　of　the　
working　world；　and　to　bend　it　and　break　it。’　

‘For　stubbornness　won’t　do　here；’　said　his　sister　‘What　it　wants　
is；　to　be　crushed。　And　crushed　it　must　be。　Shall　be；　too！’　

He　gave　her　a　look；　half　in　remonstrance；　half　in　approval；　and　
went　on：　

‘I　suppose　you　know；　David；　that　I　am　not　rich。　At　any　rate；　you　
know　it　now。　You　have　received　some　considerable　education　

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already。　Education　is　costly；　and　even　if　it　were　not；　and　I　could　
afford　it；　I　am　of　opinion　that　it　would　not　be　at　all　advantageous　to　
you　to　be　kept　at　school。　What　is　before　you；　is　a　fight　with　the　
world；　and　the　sooner　you　begin　it；　the　better。’　

I　think　it　occurred　to　me　that　I　had　already　begun　it；　in　my　poor　
way：　but　it　occurs　to　me　now；　whether　or　no。　

‘You　have　heard　the　“counting…house”　mentioned　sometimes；’　
said　Mr。　Murdstone。　

‘The　counting…house；　sir？’　I　repeated。　‘Of　Murdstone　and　
G