some reminiscences-第4章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！





proper；　his　wife　and　daughter　joined　him　round　my　table　and　then



the　rest　of　that　Pantai　band　came　full　of　words　and　gestures。



Unknown　to　my　respectable　landlady；　it　was　my　practice　directly



after　my　breakfast　to　hold　animated　receptions　of　Malays；　Arabs



and　half…castes。　　They　did　not　clamour　aloud　for　my　attention。



They　came　with　a　silent　and　irresistible　appealand　the　appeal；



I　affirm　here；　was　not　to　my　self…love　or　my　vanity。　　It　seems



now　to　have　had　a　moral　character；　for　why　should　the　memory　of



these　beings；　seen　in　their　obscure　sun…bathed　existence；　demand



to　express　itself　in　the　shape　of　a　novel；　except　on　the　ground



of　that　mysterious　fellowship　which　unites　in　a　community　of



hopes　and　fears　all　the　dwellers　on　this　earth？







I　did　not　receive　my　visitors　with　boisterous　rapture　as　the



bearers　of　any　gifts　of　profit　or　fame。　　There　was　no　vision　of　a



printed　book　before　me　as　I　sat　writing　at　that　table；　situated



in　a　decayed　part　of　Belgravia。　　After　all　these　years；　each



leaving　its　evidence　of　slowly　blackened　pages；　I　can　honestly



say　that　it　is　a　sentiment　akin　to　piety　which　prompted　me　to



render　in　words　assembled　with　conscientious　care　the　memory　of



things　far　distant　and　of　men　who　had　lived。







But；　coming　back　to　Captain　Froud　and　his　fixed　idea　of　never



disappointing　ship…owners　or　ship…captains；　it　was　not　likely



that　I　should　fail　him　in　his　ambitionto　satisfy　at　a　few



hours'　notice　the　unusual　demand　for　a　French…speaking　officer。



He　explained　to　me　that　the　ship　was　chartered　by　a　French



company　intending　to　establish　a　regular　monthly　line　of　sailings



from　Rouen；　for　the　transport　of　French　emigrants　to　Canada。



But；　frankly；　this　sort　of　thing　did　not　interest　me　very　much。



I　said　gravely　that　if　it　were　really　a　matter　of　keeping　up　the



reputation　of　the　Shipmasters'　Society；　I　would　consider　it。　　But



the　consideration　was　just　for　form's　sake。　　The　next　day　I



interviewed　the　Captain；　and　I　believe　we　were　impressed



favourably　with　each　other。　　He　explained　that　his　chief　mate　was



an　excellent　man　in　every　respect　and　that　he　could　not　think　of



dismissing　him　so　as　to　give　me　the　higher　position；　but　that　if



I　consented　to　come　as　second　officer　I　would　be　given　certain



special　advantagesand　so　on。







I　told　him　that　if　I　came　at　all　the　rank　really　did　not　matter。







〃I　am　sure；〃　he　insisted；　〃you　will　get　on　first　rate　with　Mr。



Paramor。〃







I　promised　faithfully　to　stay　for　two　trips　at　least；　and　it　was



in　those　circumstances　that　what　was　to　be　my　last　connection



with　a　ship　began。　　And　after　all　there　was　not　even　one　single



trip。　　It　may　be　that　it　was　simply　the　fulfilment　of　a　fate；　of



that　written　word　on　my　forehead　which　apparently　forbade　me；



through　all　my　sea　wanderings；　ever　to　achieve　the　crossing　of



the　Western　Oceanusing　the　words　in　that　special　sense　in　which



sailors　speak　of　Western　Ocean　trade；　of　Western　Ocean　packets；



of　Western　Ocean　hard　cases。　　The　new　life　attended　closely　upon



the　old　and　the　nine　chapters　of　〃Almayer's　Folly〃　went　with　me



to　the　Victoria　Dock；　whence　in　a　few　days　we　started　for　Rouen。



I　won't　go　so　far　as　saying　that　the　engaging　of　a　man　fated



never　to　cross　the　Western　Ocean　was　the　absolute　cause　of　the



Franco…Canadian　Transport　Company's　failure　to　achieve　even　a



single　passage。　　It　might　have　been　that　of　course；　but　the



obvious；　gross　obstacle　was　clearly　the　want　of　money。　　Four



hundred　and　sixty　bunks　for　emigrants　were　put　together　in　the



'tween　decks　by　industrious　carpenters　while　we　lay　in　the



Victoria　Dock；　but　never　an　emigrant　turned　up　in　Rouenof



which；　being　a　humane　person；　I　confess　I　was　glad。　　Some



gentlemen　from　ParisI　think　there　were　three　of　them；　and　one



was　said　to　be　the　Chairmanturned　up　indeed　and　went　from　end



to　end　of　the　ship；　knocking　their　silk　hats　cruelly　against　the



deck…beams。　　I　attended　them　personally；　and　I　can　vouch　for　it



that　the　interest　they　took　in　things　was　intelligent　enough；



though；　obviously；　they　had　never　seen　anything　of　the　sort



before。　　Their　faces　as　they　went　ashore　wore　a　cheerfully



inconclusive　expression。　　Notwithstanding　that　this　inspecting



ceremony　was　supposed　to　be　a　preliminary　to　immediate　sailing；



it　was　then；　as　they　filed　down　our　gangway；　that　I　received　the



inward　monition　that　no　sailing　within　the　meaning　of　our



charter…party　would　ever　take　place。







It　must　be　said　that　in　less　than　three　weeks　a　move　took　place。



When　we　first　arrived　we　had　been　taken　up　with　much　ceremony



well　towards　the　centre　of　the　town；　and；　all　the　street　corners



being　placarded　with　the　tricolour　posters　announcing　the　birth



of　our　company；　the　petit　bourgeois　with　his　wife　and　family　made



a　Sunday　holiday　from　the　inspection　of　the　ship。　　I　was　always



in　evidence　in　my　best　uniform　to　give　information　as　though　I



had　been　a　Cook's　tourists'　interpreter；　while　our　quarter…



masters　reaped　a　harvest　of　small　change　from　personally



conducted　parties。　　But　when　the　move　was　madethat　move　which



carried　us　some　mile　and　a　half　down　the　stream　to　be　tied　up　to



an　altogether　muddier　and　shabbier　quaythen　indeed　the



desolation　of　solitude　became　our　lot。　　It　was　a　complete　and



soundless　stagnation；　for；　as　we　had　the　ship　ready　for　sea　to



the　smallest　detail；　as　the　frost　was　hard　and　the　days　short；　we



were　absolutely　idleidle　to　the　point　of　blushing　with　shame



when　the　thought　struck　us　that　all　the　time　our　salaries　went



on。　　Young　Cole　was　aggrieved　because；　as　he　said；　we　could　not



enjoy　any　sort　of　fun　in　the　evening　after　loafing　like　this　all



day：　　even　the　banjo　lost　its　charm　since　there　was　nothing　to



prevent　his　strumming　on　it　all　the　time　between　the　meals。　　The



good　Paramorhe　was　really　a　most　excellent　fellowbecame



unhappy　as　far　as　was　possible　to　his　cheery　nature；　till　one



dreary　day　I　suggested；　out　of　sheer　mischief；　that　he　should



employ　the　dormant　energies　of　the　crew　in　hauling　both　cables　up



on　deck　and　turning　them　end　for　end。







For　a　moment　Mr。　Paramor　was　radiant。　　〃Excellent　idea！〃　but



directly　his　face　fell。　　〃Why。　。　。Yes！　　But　we　can't　make　that



job　last　more　than　three　days；〃　he　muttered　discontentedly。　　I



don't　know　how　long　he　expected　us　to　be　stuck　on　the　riverside



outskirts　of　Rouen；　but　I　know　that　the　cables　got　hauled　up　and



turned　end　for　end　according　to　my　satanic　suggestion；　put　down



again；　and　their　very　existence　utterly　forgotten；　I　believe；



before　a　French　river　pilot　came　on　board　to　take　our　ship　down；



empty　as　she　came；　into　the　Havre　roads。　　You　may　think　that　this



state　of　forced　idleness　favoured　some　advance　in　the　fortunes　of



Almayer　and　his　daughter。　　Yet　it　was　not　so。　　As　if　it　were　some



sort　of　evil　spell；　my　banjoist　cabin…mate's　interruption；　as



related　above；　had　arrested　them　short　at　the　point　of　that



fateful　sunset　for　many　weeks　together。　　It　was　always　thus　with



this　book；　begun　in　'89　and　finished　in　'94with　that　shortest



of　all　the　novels　which　it　was　to　be　my　lot　to　write。　　Between



its　opening　exclamation　calling　Almayer　to　his　dinner　in　his



wife's　voice　and　Abdullah's　（his　enemy）　mental　reference　to　the



God　of　Islam〃The　Merciful；　the　Compassionate〃which　closes　the



book；　there　were　to　come　several　long　sea　passages；　a　visit　（to



use　the　elevated　phraseology　suitable　to　the　occasion）　to　the



scenes　（some　of　them）　of　my　childhood　and　the　realisation　of



childhood's　vain　words；　expressing　a　light…hearted　and　romantic



whim。







It　was　in　1868；　when　nine　years　old　or　thereabouts；　that　while



looking　at　a　map　of　Africa　of　the　time　and　putting　my　finger　on



the　blank　space　then　representing　the　unsolved　mystery　of　that



continent；　I　said　to　myself　with　absolute　assurance　and　an



amazing　audacity　which　are　no　longer　in　my　character　now：







〃When　I　grow　up　I　shall　go　there。〃







And　of　course　I　thought　no　more　about　it　till　after　a　quarter　of



a　century　or　so　an　opportunity　offered　to　go　thereas　if　the　sin



of　childish　audacity　were　to　be　visited　on　my　mature　head。　　Yes。



I　did　go　there：　　there　being　the　region　of　Stanley　Falls　which　in



'68　was　the　blankest　of　blank　spaces　on　the　earth's　figured



surface。　　And　the　MS。　of　〃Almayer's　Folly；〃　carried　about　me　as



if　it　were　a　talisman　or　a　treasure；　went　there　too。　　That　it



ever　came　out　of　there　seems　a　special　dispensation　of



Providence；　because　a　good　many　of　my　other　properties；



infinitely　more　valuable　and　useful　to　me；　remained　behind



through　unfortunate　accidents　of　transportation。　　I　call　to　mind；



for　instance；　a　specially　awkward　turn　of　the　Congo　between



Kinchassa　and　Leopoldsvillemore　particularly　when　one　had　to



take　it　at　night　in　a　big　canoe　with　only　half　the　proper　number



of　paddlers。　　I　failed　in　being　the　second　white　man　on　record



drowned　at　that　interesting　spot　through　the　upsetting　of　a



canoe。　　The　first　was　a　young　Belgian　officer；　but　the　accident



happened　some　months　before　my　time；　and　he；　too；　I　believe；　was



going　home；　not　perhaps　quite　so　ill　as　myselfbut　still　he　was



going　home。　　I　got　round　the　turn　more　or　less　alive；　though　I



was　too　sick　to　care　whether　I　did　or　not；　and；　always　with



〃Almayer's　Folly〃　amongst　my　diminishing　baggage；　I　arrived　at



that　delectable　capital　Boma；　where　before　the　departure　of　the



steamer　which　was　to　take　me　home　I　had　the　time　to　wish　myself



dead　over　and　over　again　with　perfect　sincerity。　　At　that　date



there　were　in　existence　only　seven　chapters　of　〃Almayer's　Folly；〃



but　the　chapter　in　my　history　which　followed　was　that　of　a　long；



long　illness　and　very　dismal　convalescence。　　Geneva；　or　more



precisely　the　hydropathic　establishment　of　Champel；　is　rendered



for　ever　famous　by　the　termination　of　the　eighth　chapter　in　the



history　of　Almayer's　decline　and　fall。　　The　events　of　the　ninth



are　inextricably　mixed　up　with　the　details　of　the　proper



management　of　a　waterside　warehouse　owned　by　a　certain　city　firm



whose　name　does　not　matter。　　But　that　work；　undertaken　to



accustom　myself　again　to　the　activities　of　a　healthy　existence；



soon　came　to　an　end。　　The　earth　had　nothing　to　hold　me　with　for



very　long。　　And　then　that　memorable　story；　like　a　cask　of　choice



Madeira；　got　carried　for　thr