fraternity-第12章

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Hilary　nodded。

〃I've　been　speaking　to　Father；〃　Cecilia　murmured；　〃but　he's　hopeless…　I；　couldn't　get　him　to　pay　the　least　attention。〃

Hilary　seemed　thinking　deeply。

〃I　wanted　him；〃　she　went　on；　〃to　get　some　other　girl　instead　to　come　and　copy　for　him。〃

〃Why？〃

Under　the　seeming　impossibility　of　ever　getting　any　farther；　without　saying　what　she　had　come　to　say；　Cecilia　blurted　out：

〃Mrs。　Hughs　says　that　Hughs　has　threatened　you。〃

Hilary's　face　became　ironical。

〃Really！〃　he　said。　　〃That's　good　of　him！　　What　for？〃

The　frightful　indelicacy　of　her　situation　at　this　moment；　the　feeling　of　unfairness　that　she　should　be　placed　in　it；　almost　overwhelmed　Cecilia。　　〃Goodness　knows　I　don't　want　to　meddle。　　I　never　meddle　in　anything…it's　horrible！〃

Hilary　took　her　hand。

〃My　dear　Cis；〃　he　said；　〃of　course！　　But　we'd　better　have　this　out！〃

Grateful　for　the　pressure　of　his　hand；　she　gave　it　a　convulsive　squeeze。

〃It's　so　sordid；　Hilary！〃

〃Sordid！　　H'm！　　Let's　get　it　over；　then。〃

Cecilia　had　grown　crimson。　　〃Do　you　want　me　to　tell　you　everything？〃

〃Certainly。〃

〃Well；　Hughs　evidently　thinks　you're　interested　in　the　girl。　　You　can't　keep　anything　from　servants　and　people　who　work　about　your　house；　they　always　think　the　worst　of　everythingand；　of　course；　they　know　that　you　and　B。　don'taren't…〃

Hilary　nodded。

〃Mrs。　Hughs　actually　said　the　man　meant　to　go　to　B。！〃

Again　the　vision　of　her　sister　seemed　to　float　into　the　room；　and　she　went　on　desperately：　〃And；　Hilary；　I　can　see　Mrs。　Hughs　really　thinks　you　are　interested。　　Of　course；　she　wants　to；　for　if　you　were；　it　would　mean　that　a　man　like　her　husband　could　have　no　chance。〃

Astonished　at　this　flash　of　cynical　inspiration；　and　ashamed　of　such　plain　speaking；　she　checked　herself。　　Hilary　had　turned　away。

Cecilia　touched　his　arm。　　〃Hilary；　dear；〃　she　said；　〃isn't　there　any　chance　of　you　and　B…〃

Hilary's　lips　twitched。　　〃I　should　say　not。〃

Cecilia　looked　sadly　at　the　floor。　　Not　since　Stephen　was　bad　with　pleurisy　had　she　felt　so　worried。　　The　sight　of　Hilary's　face　brought　back　her　doubts　with　all　their　force。　　It　might；　of　course；　be　only　anger　at　the　man's　impudence；　but　it　might　beshe　hardly　liked　to　frame　her　thoughta　more　personal　feeling。

〃Don't　you　think；〃　she　said；　〃that；　anyway；　she　had　better　not　come　here　again？〃

Hilary　paced　the　room。

〃It's　her　only　safe　and　certain　piece　of　work；　it　keeps　her　independent。　　It's　much　more　satisfactory　than　this　sitting。　　I　can't　have　any　hand　in　taking　it　away　from　her。〃

Cecilia　had　never　seen　him　moved　like　this。　　Was　it　possible　that　he　was　not　incorrigibly　gentle；　but　had　in　him　some　of　that　animality　which　she；　in　a　sense；　admired？　　This　uncertainty　terribly　increased　the　difficulties　of　the　situation。

〃But；　Hilary；〃　she　said　at　last；　〃are　you　satisfied　about　the　girlI　mean；　are　you　satisfied　that　she　really　is　worth　helping？〃

〃I　don't　understand。〃

〃I　mean；〃　murmured　Cecilia；　〃that　we　don't　know　anything　about　her　past。〃　　And；　seeing　from　the　movement　of　his　eyebrows　that　she　was　touching　on　what　had　evidently　been　a　doubt　with　him；　she　went　on　with　great　courage：　〃Where　are　her　friends　and　relations？　　I　mean；　she　may　have　had　aadventures。〃

Hilary　withdrew　into　himself。

〃You　can　hardly　expect　me；〃　he　said；　〃to　go　into　that　with　her。〃

His　reply　made　Cecilia　feel　ridiculous。

〃Well；〃　she　said　in　a　hard　little　voice；　〃if　this　is　what　comes　of　helping　the　poor；　I　don't　see　the　use　of　it。〃

The　outburst　evoked　no　reply　from　Hilary；　she　felt　more　tremulous　than　ever。　　The　whole　thing　was　so　confused；　so　unnatural。　　What　with　the　dark；　malignant　Hughs　and　that　haunting　vision　of　Bianca；　the　matter　seemed　almost　Italian。　　That　a　man　of　Hughs'　class　might　be　affected　by　the　passion　of　love　had　somehow　never　come　into　her　head。　She　thought　of　the　back　streets　she　had　looked　out　on　from　her　bedroom　window。　　Could　anything　like　passion　spring　up　in　those　dismal　alleys？　　The　people　who　lived　there；　poor　downtrodden　things；　had　enough　to　do　to　keep　themselves　alive。　　She　knew　all　about　them；　they　were　in　the　air；　their　condition　was　deplorable！　　Could　a　person　whose　condition　was　deplorable　find　time　or　strength　for　any　sort　of　lurid　exhibition　such　as　this？　　It　was　incredible。

She　became　aware　that　Hilary　was　speaking。

〃I　daresay　the　man　is　dangerous！〃

Hearing　her　fears　confirmed；　and　in　accordance　with　the　secret　vein　of　hardness　which　kept　her　living；　amid　all　her　sympathies　and　hesitations；　Cecilia　felt　suddenly　that　she　had　gone　as　far　as　it　was　in　her　to　go。

〃I　shall　have　no　more　to　do　with　them；〃　she　said；　〃I've　tried　my　best　for　Mrs。　Hughs。　　I　know　quite　as　good　a　needlewoman；　who'll　be　only　too　glad　to　come　instead。　　Any　other　girl　will　do　as　well　to　copy　father's　book。　　If　you　take　my　advice；　Hilary；　you'll　give　up　trying　to　help　them　too。〃

Hilary's　smile　puzzled　and　annoyed　her。　　If　she　had　known；　this　was　the　smile　that　stood　between　him　and　her　sister。

〃You　may　be　right；〃　he　said；　and　shrugged　his　shoulders：

〃Very　well；〃　said　Cecilia；　〃I've　done　all　I　can。　　I　must　go　now。　Good…bye。〃

During　her　progress　to　the　door　she　gave　one　look　behind。　　Hilary　was　standing　by　the　bust　of　Socrates。　　Her　heart　smote　her　to　leave　him　thus　embarrassed。　　But　again　the　vision　of　Biancafugitive　in　her　own　house；　and　with　something　tragic　in　her　mocking　immobilitycame　to　her；　and　she　hastened　away。

A　voice　said：　〃How　are　you；　Mrs。　Dallison？　　Your　sister　at　home？〃

Cecilia　saw　before　her　Mr。　Purcey；　rising　and　falling　a　little　with　the　oscillation　of　his　A。i。　Damyer。

A　sense　as　of　having　just　left　a　house　visited　by　sickness　or　misfortune　made　Cecilia　murmur：

〃I'm　afraid　she's　not。〃

〃Bad　luck！〃　said　Mr。　Purcey。　　His　face　fell　as　far　as　so　red　and　square　a　face　could　fall。　　〃I　was　hoping　perhaps　I　might　be　allowed　to　take　them　for　a　run。　　She's　wanting　exercise。〃　　Mr。　Purcey　laid　his　hand　on　the　flank　of　his　palpitating　car。　　〃Know　these　A。i。　Damyers；　Mrs。　Dallison？　　Best　value　you　can　get；　simply　rippin'　little　cars。　　Wish　you'd　try　her。〃

The　A。i。　Damyer；　diffusing　an　aroma　of　the　finest　petrol；　leaped　and　trembled；　as　though　conscious　of　her　master's　praise。　　Cecilia　looked　at　her。

〃Yes；〃　she　said；　〃she's　very　sweet。

'Now　do！〃　said　Mr。　Purcey。　　〃Let　me　give　you　a　runJust　to　please　me；　I　mean。　　I'm　sure　you'll　like　her。〃

A　little　compunction；　a　little　curiosity；　a　sudden　revolt　against　all　the　discomfiture　and　sordid　doubts　she　had　been　suffering　from；　made　Cecilia　glance　softly　at　Mr。　Purcey's　figure；　almost　before　she　knew　it；　she　was　seated　in　the　A。i。　Damyer。　　It　trembled；　emitted　two　small　sounds；　one　large　scent；　and　glided　forward。　　Mr。　Purcey　said：

〃That's　rippin'　of　you！〃

A　postman；　dog；　and　baker's　cart；　all　hurrying　at　top　speed；　seemed　to　stand　still；　Cecilia　felt　the　wind　beating　her　cheeks。　　She　gave　a　little　laugh。

〃You　must　just　take　me　home；　please。〃

Mr。　Purcey　touched　the　chauffeur's　elbow。

〃Round　the　park；〃　he　said。　　〃Let　her　have　it。〃

The　A。i。　Damyer　uttered　a　tiny　shriek。　　Cecilia；　leaning　back　in　her　padded　corner；　glanced　askance　at　Mr。　Purcey　leaning　back　in　his；　an　unholy；　astonished　little　smile　played　on　her　lips。

'What　am　I　doing？'　it　seemed　to　say。　　'The　way　he　got　me　here　really！　　And　now　I　am　here　I'm　just　going　to　enjoy　it！'

There　were　no　Hughs；　no　little　modelall　that　sordid　life　had　vanished；　there　was　nothing　but　the　wind　beating　her　cheeks　and　the　A。i。　Damyer　leaping　under　her。

Mr。　Purcey　said：　〃It　just　makes　all　the　difference　to　me；　keeps　my　nerves　in　order。〃

〃Oh；〃　Cecilia　murmured；　〃have　you　got　nerves。〃

Mr。　Purcey　smiled。　　When　he　smiled　his　cheeks　formed　two　hard　red　blocks；　his　trim　moustache　stood　out；　and　many　little　wrinkles　ran　from　his　light　eyes。

〃Chock　full　of　them；〃　he　said；　〃least　thing　upsets　me。　　Can't　bear　to　see　a　hungry…lookin'　child；　or　anything。〃

A　strange　feeling　of　admiration　for　this　man　had　come　upon　Cecilia。　Why　could　not　she；　and　Thyme；　and　Hilary；　and　Stephen；　and　all　the　people　they　knew　and　mixed　with；　be　like　him；　so　sound　and　healthy；　so　unravaged　by　disturbing　sympathies；　so　innocent　of　〃social　conscience；〃　so　content？

As　though　jealous　of　these　thoughts　about　her　master；　the　A。i。　Damyer　stopped　of　her　own　accord。

〃Hallo；〃　said　Mr。　Purcey；　〃hallo；　I　say！　　Don't　you　get　out；　she'll　be　all　right　directly。〃

〃Oh；〃　said　Cecilia；　〃thanks；　but　I　must　go　in　here；　anyhow；　I　think　I'll　say　good…bye。　　Thank　you　so　much。　　I　have　enjoyed　it。〃

》From　the　threshold　of　a　shop　she　looked　back。　　Mr。　Purcey；　on　foot；　was　leaning　forward　from　the　waist；　staring　at　his　A。i。　Damyer　with　profound　concentration。




CHAPTER　IX

HILARY　GIVES　CHASE

The　ethics　of　a　man　like　Hilary　were　not　those　of　the　million　pure　bred　Purceys　of　this　life；　founded　on　a　sense　of　property　in　this　world　and　the　next；　nor　were　they　precisely　the　morals　and　religion　of　the　aristocracy；　who；　though　aestheticised　in　parts；　quietly　used；　in　bulk；　their　fortified　position　to　graft　on　Mr。　Purcey's　ethics　the　principle　of　'You　be　damned！'　　In　the　eyes　of　the　majority　he　was　probably　an　immoral　and　irreligious　man；　but　in　fact　his　morals　and　religion　were　those　of　his　special　section　of　societythe　cultivated　classes；　〃the　professors；　the　artistic　pigs；　advanced　people；　and　all　that　sort　of　cuckoo；〃　as　Mr。　Purcey　called　thema　section　of　society　supplemented　by　persons；　placed　beyond　the　realms　of　want；　who　speculated　in　ideas。

Had　he　been　required　to　make　confession　of　his　creed　he　would　probably　have　framed　it　in　some　such　way　as　this：　〃I　disbelieve　in　all　Church　dogmas；　and　do　not　go　to　church；　I　have　no　definite　ideas　about　a　future　state；　and　do　not　want　to　have；　but　in　a　private　way　I　try　to　identify　myself　as　much　as　possible　with　what　I　see　about　me；　feeling　that　if　I　could　ever　really　be　at　one　with　the　world　I　live　in　I　should　be　happy。　　I　think　it　foolish　not　to　trust　my　senses　and　my　reason；　as　for　what　my　senses　and　my　reason　will　not　tell　me；　I　assume　that　all　is　as　it　had　to　be；　for　if　one　could　get　to　know　the　why　of　everything　in　one　would　be　the　Universe。　　I　do　not　believe　that　chastity　is　a　virtue　in　itself；　but　only　so　far　as　it　ministers　to　the　health　and　happiness　of　the　community。　　I　do　not　believe　that　marriage　confers　the　rights　of　ownership；　and　I　loathe　all　public　wrangling　on　such　matters；　but　I　am　temperamentally　averse　to　the　harming　of　my　neighbours；　if　in　reason　it　can　be　avoided。　　As　to　manners；　I　think　that　to　repeat　a　bit　of　scandal；　and　circulate　backbiting　stories；　are　worse　offences　than　the　actions　that　gave　rise　to　them。　　If　I　mentally　condemn　a　person；　I　feel　guilty　of　moral　lapse。　　I　hate　self…assertion；　I　am　ashamed　of　self…advertisement。　　I　dislike　loudness　of　any　kind。　　Probably　I　have　too　much　tendency　to　negation　of　all　sorts。　　Small…talk　bores　me　to　extinction；　but　I　will　discuss　a　point　of　ethics　or　psychology　half　the　night。　　To　make　capital　out　of　a　person's　weakness　is　repugnant　to　me。　　I　want　to　be　a　decent　man；　butI　really　can't　take　myself　too　seriously。〃

Though　he　had　preserved　his　politeness　towards　Cecilia；　he　was　in　truth　angry；　and　grew　angrier　every　minute。　　He　was　angry　with　her；　himself；　and　the　m