desperate remedies-第38章

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He　then；　step　by　step；　recalled　all　the　conversation　on　the　subject
of　Cytherea's　feelings　that　had　passed　between　himself　and　Miss
Aldclyffe　in　the　afternoon；　and　by　a　confusion　of　thought；　natural
enough　under　the　trying　experience；　concluded　that　because　the　lady
was　truthful　in　her　portraiture　of　effects；　she　must　necessarily　be
right　in　her　assumption　of　causes。　　That　is；　he　was　convinced　that
Cythereathe　hitherto…believed　faithful　Cythereahad；　at　any　rate；
looked　with　something　more　than　indifference　upon　the　extremely
handsome　face　and　form　of　Manston。

Did　he　blame　her；　as　guilty　of　the　impropriety　of　allowing　herself
to　love　the　newcomer　in　the　face　of　his　not　being　free　to　return　her
love？　　No；　never　for　a　moment　did　he　doubt　that　all　had　occurred　in
her　old；　innocent；　impulsive　way；　that　her　heart　was　gone　before　she
knew　itbefore　she　knew　anything；　beyond　his　existence；　of　the　man
to　whom　it　had　flown。　　Perhaps　the　very　note　enclosed　to　him　was　the
result　of　first　reflection。　　Manston　he　would　unhesitatingly　have
called　a　scoundrel；　but　for　one　strikingly　redeeming　fact。　　It　had
been　patent　to　the　whole　parish；　and　had　come　to　Edward's　own
knowledge　by　that　indirect　channel；　that　Manston；　as　a　married　man；
conscientiously　avoided　Cytherea　after　those　first　few　days　of　his
arrival　during　which　her　irresistibly　beautiful　and　fatal　glances
had　rested　upon　himhis　upon　her。

Taking　from　his　coat　a　creased　and　pocket…worn　envelope　containing
Cytherea's　letter　to　himself；　Springrove　opened　it　and　read　it
through。　　He　was　upbraided　therein；　and　he　was　dismissed。　　It　bore
the　date　of　the　letter　sent　to　Manston；　and　by　containing　within　it
the　phrase；　'All　the　day　long　I　have　been　thinking；'　afforded
justifiable　ground　for　assuming　that　it　was　written　subsequently　to
the　other　（and　in　Edward's　sight　far　sweeter　one）　to　the　steward。

But　though　he　accused　her　of　fickleness；　he　would　not　doubt　the
genuineness；　in　its　kind；　of　her　partiality　for　him　at　Budmouth。　　It
was　a　short　and　shallow　feelingnot　perfect　love：

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　'Love　is　not　love
　　　　　Which　alters　when　it　alteration　finds。'

But　it　was　not　flirtation；　a　feeling　had　been　born　in　her　and　had
died。　　It　would　be　well　for　his　peace　of　mind　if　his　love　for　her
could　flit　away　so　softly；　and　leave　so　few　traces　behind。

Miss　Aldclyffe　had　shown　herself　desperately　concerned　in　the　whole
matter　by　the　alacrity　with　which　she　had　obtained　the　letter　from
Manston；　and　her　labours　to　induce　himself　to　marry　his　cousin。
Taken　in　connection　with　her　apparent　interest　in；　if　not　love　for；
Cytherea；　her　eagerness；　too；　could　only　be　accounted　for　on　the
ground　that　Cytherea　indeed　loved　the　steward。

5。　　DECEMBER　THE　FOURTH

Edward　passed　the　night　he　scarcely　knew　how；　tossing　feverishly
from　side　to　side；　the　blood　throbbing　in　his　temples；　and　singing
in　his　ears。

Before　the　day　began　to　break　he　dressed　himself。　　On　going　out　upon
the　landing　he　found　his　father's　bedroom　door　already　open。　　Edward
concluded　that　the　old　man　had　risen　softly；　as　was　his　wont；　and
gone　out　into　the　fields　to　start　the　labourers。　　But　neither　of　the
outer　doors　was　unfastened。　　He　entered　the　front　room；　and　found　it
empty。　　Then　animated　by　a　new　idea；　he　went　round　to　the　little
back　parlour；　in　which　the　few　wrecks　saved　from　the　fire　were
deposited；　and　looked　in　at　the　door。　　Here；　near　the　window；　the
shutters　of　which　had　been　opened　half　way；　he　saw　his　father
leaning　on　the　bureau；　his　elbows　resting　on　the　flap；　his　body
nearly　doubled；　his　hands　clasping　his　forehead。　　Beside　him　were
ghostly…looking　square　folds　of　parchmentthe　leases　of　the　houses
destroyed。

His　father　looked　up　when　Edward　entered；　and　wearily　spoke　to　the
young　man　as　his　face　came　into　the　faint　light。

'Edward；　why　did　you　get　up　so　early？'

'I　was　uneasy；　and　could　not　sleep。'

The　farmer　turned　again　to　the　leases　on　the　bureau；　and　seemed　to
become　lost　in　reflection。　　In　a　minute　or　two；　without　lifting　his
eyes；　he　said

'This　is　more　than　we　can　bear；　Tedmore　than　we　can　bear！　　Ted；
this　will　kill　me。　　Not　the　loss　onlythe　sense　of　my　neglect　about
the　insurance　and　everything。　　Borrow　I　never　will。　　'Tis　all　misery
now。　　God　help　usall　misery　now！'

Edward　did　not　answer；　continuing　to　look　fixedly　at　the　dreary
daylight　outside。

'Ted；'　the　farmer　went　on；　'this　upset　of　be…en　burnt　out　o'　home
makes　me　very　nervous　and　doubtful　about　everything。　　There's　this
troubles　me　besidesour　liven　here　with　your　cousin；　and　fillen　up
her　house。　　It　must　be　very　awkward　for　her。　　But　she　says　she
doesn't　mind。　　Have　you　said　anything　to　her　lately　about　when　you
are　going　to　marry　her？'

'Nothing　at　all　lately。'

'Well；　perhaps　you　may　as　well；　now　we　are　so　mixed　in　together。
You　know；　no　time　has　ever　been　mentioned　to　her　at　all；　first　or
last；　and　I　think　it　right　that　now；　since　she　has　waited　so
patiently　and　so　longyou　are　almost　called　upon　to　say　you　are
ready。　　It　would　simplify　matters　very　much；　if　you　were　to　walk　up
to　church　wi'　her　one　of　these　mornings；　get　the　thing　done；　and　go
on　liven　here　as　we　are。　　If　you　don't　I　must　get　a　house　all　the
sooner。　　It　would　lighten　my　mind；　too；　about　the　two　little
freeholds　over　the　hillnot　a　morsel　a…piece；　divided　as　they　were
between　her　mother　and　me；　but　a　tidy　bit　tied　together　again。　　Just
think　about　it；　will　ye；　Ted？'

He　stopped　from　exhaustion　produced　by　the　intense　concentration　of
his　mind　upon　the　weary　subject；　and　looked　anxiously　at　his　son。

'Yes；　I　will；'　said　Edward。

'But　I　am　going　to　see　her　of　the　Great　House　this　morning；'　the
farmer　went　on；　his　thoughts　reverting　to　the　old　subject。　　'I　must
know　the　rights　of　the　matter；　the　when　and　the　where。　　I　don't　like
seeing　her；　but　I'd　rather　talk　to　her　than　the　steward。　　I　wonder
what　she'll　say　to　me。'

The　younger　man　knew　exactly　what　she　would　say。　　If　his　father
asked　her　what　he　was　to　do；　and　when；　she　would　simply　refer　him　to
Manston：　　her　character　was　not　that　of　a　woman　who　shrank　from　a
proposition　she　had　once　laid　down。　　If　his　father　were　to　say　to
her　that　his　son　had　at　last　resolved　to　marry　his　cousin　within　the
year；　and　had　given　her　a　promise　to　that　effect；　she　would　say；
'Mr。　Springrove；　the　houses　are　burnt：　　we'll　let　them　go：　　trouble
no　more　about　them。'

His　mind　was　already　made　up。　　He　said　calmly；　'Father；　when　you　are
talking　to　Miss　Aldclyffe；　mention　to　her　that　I　have　asked　Adelaide
if　she　is　willing　to　marry　me　next　Christmas。　　She　is　interested　in
my　union　with　Adelaide；　and　the　news　will　be　welcome　to　her。'

'And　yet　she　can　be　iron　with　reference　to　me　and　her　property；'　the
farmer　murmured。　　'Very　well；　Ted；　I'll　tell　her。'

6。　　DECEMBER　THE　FIFTH

Of　the　many　contradictory　particulars　constituting　a　woman's　heart；
two　had　shown　their　vigorous　contrast　in　Cytherea's　bosom　just　at
this　time。

It　was　a　dark　morning；　the　morning　after　old　Mr。　Springrove's　visit
to　Miss　Aldclyffe；　which　had　terminated　as　Edward　had　intended。
Having　risen　an　hour　earlier　than　was　usual　with　her；　Cytherea　sat
at　the　window　of　an　elegant　little　sitting…room　on　the　ground　floor；
which　had　been　appropriated　to　her　by　the　kindness　or　whim　of　Miss
Aldclyffe；　that　she　might　not　be　driven　into　that　lady's　presence
against　her　will。　　She　leant　with　her　face　on　her　hand；　looking　out
into　the　gloomy　grey　air。　　A　yellow　glimmer　from　the　flapping　flame
of　the　newly…lit　fire　fluttered　on　one　side　of　her　face　and　neck
like　a　butterfly　about　to　settle　there；　contrasting　warmly　with　the
other　side　of　the　same　fair　face；　which　received　from　the　window　the
faint　cold　morning　light；　so　weak　that　her　shadow　from　the　fire　had
a　distinct　outline　on　the　window…shutter　in　spite　of　it。　　There　the
shadow　danced　like　a　demon；　blue　and　grim。

The　contradiction　alluded　to　was　that　in　spite　of　the　decisive　mood
which　two　months　earlier　in　the　year　had　caused　her　to　write　a
peremptory　and　final　letter　to　Edward；　she　was　now　hoping　for　some
answer　other　than　the　only　possible　one　a　man　who；　as　she　held；　did
not　love　her　wildly；　could　send　to　such　a　communication。　　For　a
lover　who　did　love　wildly；　she　had　left　one　little　loophole　in　her
otherwise　straightforward　epistle。　　Why　she　expected　the　letter　on
some　morning　of　this　particular　week　was；　that　hearing　of　his　return
to　Carriford；　she　fondly　assumed　that　he　meant　to　ask　for　an
interview　before　he　left。　　Hence　it　was；　too；　that　for　the　last　few
days；　she　had　not　been　able　to　keep　in　bed　later　than　the　time　of
the　postman's　arrival。

The　clock　pointed　to　half…past　seven。　　She　saw　the　postman　emerge
from　beneath　the　bare　boughs　of　the　park　trees；　come　through　the
wicket；　dive　through　the　shrubbery；　reappear　on　the　lawn；　stalk
across　it　without　reference　to　pathsas　country　postmen　doand
come　to　the　porch。　　She　heard　him　fling　the　bag　down　on　the　seat；
and　turn　away　towards　the　village；　without　hindering　himself　for　a
single　pace。

Then　the　butler　opened　the　door；　took　up　the　bag；　brought　it　in；　and
carried　it　up　the　staircase　to　place　it　on　the　slab　by　Miss
Aldclyffe's　dressing…room　door。　　The　whole　proceeding　had　been
depicted　by　sounds。

She　had　a　presentiment　that　her　letter　was　in　the　bag　at　last。　　She
thought　then　in　diminishing　pulsations　of　confidence；　'He　asks　to
see　me！　　Perhaps　he　asks　to　see　me：　　I　hope　he　asks　to　see　me。'

A　quarter　to　eight：　　Miss　Aldclyffe's　bellrather　earlier　than
usual。　　'She　must　have　heard　the　post…bag　brought；'　said　the　maiden；
as；　tired　of　the　chilly　prospect　outside；　she　turned　to　the　fire；
and　drew　imaginative　pictures　of　her　future　therein。

A　tap　came　to　the　door；　and　the　lady's…maid　entered。

'Miss　Aldclyffe　is　awake；'　she　said；　'and　she　asked　if　you　were
moving　yet；　miss。'

'I'll　run　up　to　her；'　said　Cytherea；　and　flitted　off　with　the
utterance　of　the　words。　　'Very　fortunate　this；'　she　thought；　'I
shall　see　what　is　in　the　bag　this　morning　all　the　sooner。'

She　took　it　up　from　the　side　table；　went　into　Miss　Aldclyffe's
bedroom；　pulled　up　the　blinds；　and　looked　round　upon　the　lady　in
bed；　calculating　the　minutes　that　must　elapse　before　she　looked　at
her　letters。

'Well；　darling；　how　are　you？　　I　am　glad　you　have　come　in　to　see　me；'
said　Miss　Aldclyffe。　　'You　can　unlock　the　bag　this　morning；　child；
if　you　like；'　she　continued；　yawning　factitiously。

'Strange！'　Cytherea　thought；　'it　seems　as　if　she　knew　there　was
likely　to　be　a　letter　for　me。'

From　her　bed　Miss　Aldclyffe　watched　the　girl's　face　as　she
tremblingly　opened　the　post…bag　and　found　there　an　envelope
addressed　to　her　in　Edward's　handwriting；　one　he　had　written　the　day
before；　after　the　decision　he　had　come　to　on　an　impartial；　and　on
that　account　torturing；　survey　of　his　own；　his　father's；　his　cousin
Adelaide's；　and　what　he　believed　to　be　Cytherea's；　position。

The　haughty　mistress's　soul　sickened　remorsefully　within　her　when
she　saw　suddenly　appear　upon　the　speaking　countenance　of　the　young
lady　before　her　a　wan　desolate　look　of　agony。

The　master…sentences　of　Edward's　letter　were　these：　　'You　speak
truly。　　That　we　never　meet　again　i