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about the simple truth�察�but it is stubborn about the subtle truth。 



It will admit that a man has two hands�察�it will not admit ��though all



the Modernists wail to it�� the obvious deduction that he has two hearts。 



It is my only purpose in this chapter to point this out�察�to show



that whenever we feel there is something odd in Christian theology��



we shall generally find that there is something odd in the truth。







     I have alluded to an unmeaning phrase to the effect that



such and such a creed cannot be believed in our age。  Of course��



anything can be believed in any age。  But�察�oddly enough�察�there really



is a sense in which a creed�察�if it is believed at all�察�can be



believed more fixedly in a complex society than in a simple one。 



If a man finds Christianity true in Birmingham�察�he has actually clearer



reasons for faith than if he had found it true in Mercia。  For the more



complicated seems the coincidence�察�the less it can be a coincidence。 



If snowflakes fell in the shape�察�say�察�of the heart of Midlothian��



it might be an accident。  But if snowflakes fell in the exact shape



of the maze at Hampton Court�察�I think one might call it a miracle。 



It is exactly as of such a miracle that I have since come to feel



of the philosophy of Christianity。  The complication of our modern



world proves the truth of the creed more perfectly than any of



the plain problems of the ages of faith。  It was in Notting Hill



and Battersea that I began to see that Christianity was true。 



This is why the faith has that elaboration of doctrines and details



which so much distresses those who admire Christianity without



believing in it。  When once one believes in a creed�察�one is proud



of its complexity�察�as scientists are proud of the complexity



of science。  It shows how rich it is in discoveries。  If it is right



at all�察�it is a compliment to say that it's elaborately right。 



A stick might fit a hole or a stone a hollow by accident。 



But a key and a lock are both complex。  And if a key fits a lock��



you know it is the right key。







     But this involved accuracy of the thing makes it very difficult



to do what I now have to do�察�to describe this accumulation of truth。 



It is very hard for a man to defend anything of which he is



entirely convinced。  It is comparatively easy when he is only



partially convinced。  He is partially convinced because he has



found this or that proof of the thing�察�and he can expound it。 



But a man is not really convinced of a philosophic theory when he



finds that something proves it。  He is only really convinced when he



finds that everything proves it。  And the more converging reasons he



finds pointing to this conviction�察�the more bewildered he is if asked



suddenly to sum them up。  Thus�察�if one asked an ordinary intelligent man��



on the spur of the moment�察 �Why do you prefer civilization to savagery�拭�



he would look wildly round at object after object�察�and would only be



able to answer vaguely�察 �Why�察�there is that bookcase 。 。 。 and the



coals in the coal´scuttle 。 。 。 and pianos 。 。 。 and policemen。; 



The whole case for civilization is that the case for it is complex。 



It has done so many things。  But that very multiplicity of proof



which ought to make reply overwhelming makes reply impossible。







     There is�察�therefore�察�about all complete conviction a kind



of huge helplessness。  The belief is so big that it takes a long



time to get it into action。  And this hesitation chiefly arises��



oddly enough�察�from an indifference about where one should begin。 



All roads lead to Rome�察�which is one reason why many people never



get there。  In the case of this defence of the Christian conviction



I confess that I would as soon begin the argument with one thing



as another�察�I would begin it with a turnip or a taximeter cab。 



But if I am to be at all careful about making my meaning clear��



it will�察�I think�察�be wiser to continue the current arguments



of the last chapter�察�which was concerned to urge the first of



these mystical coincidences�察�or rather ratifications。  All I had



hitherto heard of Christian theology had alienated me from it。 



I was a pagan at the age of twelve�察�and a complete agnostic by the



age of sixteen�察�and I cannot understand any one passing the age



of seventeen without having asked himself so simple a question。 



I did�察�indeed�察�retain a cloudy reverence for a cosmic deity



and a great historical interest in the Founder of Christianity。 



But I certainly regarded Him as a man�察�though perhaps I thought that��



even in that point�察�He had an advantage over some of His modern critics。 



I read the scientific and sceptical literature of my timeall of it��



at least�察�that I could find written in English and lying about��



and I read nothing else�察�I mean I read nothing else on any other



note of philosophy。  The penny dreadfuls which I also read



were indeed in a healthy and heroic tradition of Christianity��



but I did not know this at the time。  I never read a line of



Christian apologetics。  I read as little as I can of them now。 



It was Huxley and Herbert Spencer and Bradlaugh who brought me



back to orthodox theology。  They sowed in my mind my first wild



doubts of doubt。  Our grandmothers were quite right when they said



that Tom Paine and the free´thinkers unsettled the mind。  They do。 



They unsettled mine horribly。  The rationalist made me question



whether reason was of any use whatever�察�and when I had finished



Herbert Spencer I had got as far as doubting ��for the first time��



whether evolution had occurred at all。  As I laid down the last of



Colonel Ingersoll's atheistic lectures the dreadful thought broke



across my mind�察 �Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian。;  I was



in a desperate way。







     This odd effect of the great agnostics in arousing doubts



deeper than their own might be illustrated in many ways。 



I take only one。  As I read and re´read all the non´Christian



or anti´Christian accounts of the faith�察�from Huxley to Bradlaugh��



a slow and awful impression grew gradually but graphically



upon my mindthe impression that Christianity must be a most



extraordinary thing。  For not only ��as I understood�� had Christianity



the most flaming vices�察�but it had apparently a mystical talent



for combining vices which seemed inconsistent with each other。 



It was attacked on all sides and for all contradictory reasons。 



No sooner had one rationalist demonstrated that it was too far



to the east than another demonstrated with equal clearness that it



was much too far to the west。  No sooner had my indignation died



down at its angular and aggressive squareness than I was called up



again to notice and condemn its enervating and sensual roundness。 



In case any reader has not come across the thing I mean�察�I will give



such instances as I remember at random of this self´contradiction



in the sceptical attack。  I give four or five of them�察�there are



fifty more。







     Thus�察�for instance�察�I was much moved by the eloquent attack



on Christianity as a thing of inhuman gloom�察�for I thought



��and still think�� sincere pessimism the unpardonable sin。 



Insincere pessimism is a social accomplishment�察�rather agreeable



than otherwise�察�and fortunately nearly all pessimism is insincere。 



But if Christianity was�察�as these people said�察�a thing purely



pessimistic and opposed to life�察�then I was quite prepared to blow



up St。 Paul's Cathedral。  But the extraordinary thing is this。 



They did prove to me in Chapter I。 ��to my complete satisfaction��



that Christianity was too pessimistic�察�and then�察�in Chapter II。��



they began to prove to me that it was a great deal too optimistic。 



One accusation against Christianity was that it prevented men��



by morbid tears and terrors�察�from seeking joy and liberty in the bosom



of Nature。  But another accusation was that it comforted men with a



fictitious providence�察�and put them in a pink´and´white nursery。 



One great agnostic asked why Nature was not beautiful enough��



and why it was hard to be free。  Another great agnostic objected



that Christian optimism�察 �the garment of make´believe woven by



pious hands�察─�hid from us the fact that Nature was ugly�察�and that



it was impossible to be free。  One rationalist had hardly done



calling Christianity a nightmare before another began to call it



a fool's paradise。  This puzzled me�察�the charges seemed inconsistent。 



Christianity could not at once be the black mask on a white world��



and also the white mask on a black world。  The state of the Christian



could not be at once so comfortable that he was a coward to cling



to it�察�and so uncomfortable that he was a fool to stand it。 



If it falsified human vision it must falsify it one way or another��



it could not wear both green and rose´coloured spectacles。 



I rolled on my tongue with a terrible joy�察�as did all young men



of that time�察�the taunts which Swinburne hurled at the dreariness of



the creed







     ;Thou hast conquered�察�O pale Galilaean�察�the world has grown



gray with Thy breath。;







But when I read the same poet's accounts of paganism ��as



in ;Atalanta;���察�I gathered that the world was�察�if possible��



more gray before the Galilean breathed on it than afterwards。 



The poet maintained�察�indeed�察�in the abstract�察�that life itself



was pitch dark。  And yet�察�somehow�察�Christianity had darkened it。 



The very man who denounced Christianity for pessimism was himself



a pessimist。  I thought there must be something wrong。  And it did



for one wild moment cross my mind that�察�perhaps�察�those might not be



the very best judges of the relation of religion to happiness who��



by their own account�察�had neither one nor the other。







     It must be understood that I did not conclude hastily that the



accusations were false or the accusers fools。  I simply deduced



that Christianity must be something even weirder and wickeder



than they made out。  A thing might have these two opposite vices��



but it must be a rather queer thing if it did。  A man might be too fat



in one place and too thin in another�察�but he would be an odd shape。 



At this point my thoughts were only of the odd shape of the Christian



religion�察�I did not allege any odd shape in the rationalistic mind。







     Here is another case of the same kind。  I felt that a strong



case against Christianity lay in the charge that there is somethi

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