the fatal boots-第7章

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（And　I　rapped　out　a　good　number　of　oaths；　too；　which　I　don't　put　in

here；　but　I　was　in　a　dreadful　fury；　that's　the　fact。）



〃So　help　me　heaven；〃　says　mamma；　in　answer；　going　down　on　her　knees

and　smacking　her　two　hands；　〃I　have　but　a　Queen　Anne's　guinea　in

the　whole　of　this　wicked　world。〃



〃Then　what；　Madam；　induces　you　to　tell　these　absurd　stories　to　me；

and　to　talk　about　your　riches；　when　you　know　that　you　and　your

daughters　are　beggars；　Ma'amBEGGARS？〃



〃My　dearest　boy；　have　we　not　got　the　house；　and　the　furniture；　and

a　hundred　a　year　still；　and　have　you　not　great　talents；　which　will

make　all　our　fortunes？〃　says　Mrs。　Stubbs；　getting　up　off　her　knees；

and　making　believe　to　smile　as　she　clawed　hold　of　my　hand　and

kissed　it。



This　was　TOO　cool。　　〃YOU　have　got　a　hundred　a　year；　Ma'am；〃　says　I

〃YOU　have　got　a　house？　　Upon　my　soul　and　honor　this　is　the　first　I

ever　heard　of　it；　and　I'll　tell　you　what；　Ma'am；〃　says　I　（and　it

cut　her　PRETTY　SHARPLY　too）：　〃as　you've　got　it；　YOU'D　BETTER　GO　AND

LIVE　IN　IT。　　I've　got　quite　enough　to　do　with　my　own　house；　and

every　penny　of　my　own　income。〃



Upon　this　speech　the　old　lady　said　nothing；　but　she　gave　a　screech

loud　enough　to　be　heard　from　here　to　York；　and　down　she　fell

kicking　and　struggling　in　a　regular　fit。



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I　did　not　see　Mrs。　Stubbs　for　some　days　after　this；　and　the　girls

used　to　come　down　to　meals；　and　never　speak；　going　up　again　and

stopping　with　their　mother。　　At　last；　one　day；　both　of　them　came　in

very　solemn　to　my　study；　and　Eliza；　the　eldest；　said；　〃Robert；

mamma　has　paid　you　our　board　up　to　Michaelmas。〃



〃She　has；〃　says　I；　for　I　always　took　precious　good　care　to　have　it

in　advance。



〃She　says；　Robert；　That　on　Michaelmas　daywe'llwe'll　go　away；

Robert。〃



〃Oh；　she's　going　to　her　own　house；　is　she；　Lizzy？　　Very　good。

She'll　want　the　furniture；　I　suppose；　and　that　she　may　have　too；

for　I'm　going　to　sell　the　place　myself。〃　　And　so　THAT　matter　was

settled。



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On　Michaelmas　dayand　during　these　two　months　I　hadn't；　I　do

believe；　seen　my　mother　twice　（once；　about　two　o'clock　in　the

morning；　I　woke　and　found　her　sobbing　over　my　bed）on　Michaelmas…

day　morning；　Eliza　comes　to　me　and　says；　〃ROBERT；　THEY　WILL　COME

AND　FETCH　US　AT　SIX　THIS　EVENING。〃　　Well；　as　this　was　the　last　day；

I　went　and　got　the　best　goose　I　could　find　（I　don't　think　I　ever

saw　a　primer；　or　ate　more　hearty　myself）；　and　had　it　roasted　at

three；　with　a　good　pudding　afterwards；　and　a　glorious　bowl　of

punch。　　〃Here's　a　health　to　you；　dear　girls；〃　says　I；　〃and　you；　Ma；

and　good　luck　to　all　three；　and　as　you've　not　eaten　a　morsel；　I

hope　you　won't　object　to　a　glass　of　punch。　　It's　the　old　stuff；　you

know；　Ma'am；　that　that　Waters　sent　to　my　father　fifteen　years　ago。〃



Six　o'clock　came；　and　with　it　came　a　fine　barouche。　　As　I　live；

Captain　Waters　was　on　the　box　（it　was　his　coach）；　that　old　thief；

Bates；　jumped　out；　entered　my　house；　and　before　I　could　say　Jack

Robinson；　whipped　off　mamma　to　the　carriage：　the　girls　followed；

just　giving　me　a　hasty　shake　of　the　hand；　and　as　mamma　was　helped

in；　Mary　Waters；　who　was　sitting　inside；　flung　her　arms　round　her；

and　then　round　the　girls；　and　the　Doctor；　who　acted　footman；　jumped

on　the　box；　and　off　they　went；　taking　no　more　notice　of　ME　than　if

I'd　been　a　nonentity。



Here's　a　picture　of　the　whole　business：Mamma　and　Miss　Waters　are

sitting　kissing　each　other　in　the　carriage；　with　the　two　girls　in

the　back　seat：　Waters　is　driving　（a　precious　bad　driver　he　is　too）；

and　I'm　standing　at　the　garden　door；　and　whistling。　　That　old　fool

Mary　Malowney　is　crying　behind　the　garden　gate：　she　went　off　next

day　along　with　the　furniture；　and　I　to　get　into　that　precious

scrape　which　I　shall　mention　next。





SEPTEMBER。PLUCKING　A　GOOSE。





After　my　papa's　death；　as　he　left　me　no　money；　and　only　a　little

land；　I　put　my　estate　into　an　auctioneer's　hands；　and　determined　to

amuse　my　solitude　with　a　trip　to　some　of　our　fashionable　watering…

places。　　My　house　was　now　a　desert　to　me。　　I　need　not　say　how　the

departure　of　my　dear　parent；　and　her　children；　left　me　sad　and

lonely。



Well；　I　had　a　little　ready　money；　and；　for　the　estate；　expected　a

couple　of　thousand　pounds。　　I　had　a　good　military…looking　person：

for　though　I　had　absolutely　cut　the　old　North　Bungays　（indeed；

after　my　affair　with　Waters；　Colonel　Craw　hinted　to　me；　in　the　most

friendly　manner；　that　I　had　better　resign）though　I　had　left　the

army；　I　still　retained　the　rank　of　Captain；　knowing　the　advantages

attendant　upon　that　title　in　a　watering…place　tour。



Captain　Stubbs　became　a　great　dandy　at　Cheltenham；　Harrogate；　Bath；

Leamington；　and　other　places。　　I　was　a　good　whist　and　billiard

player；　so　much　so；　that　in　many　of　these　towns；　the　people　used　to

refuse；　at　last；　to　play　with　me；　knowing　how　far　I　was　their

superior。　　Fancy　my　surprise；　about　five　years　after　the　Portsmouth

affair；　when　strolling　one　day　up　the　High　Street；　in　Leamington；

my　eyes　lighted　upon　a　young　man；　whom　I　remembered　in　a　certain

butcher's　yard；　and　elsewhereno　other；　in　fact；　than　Dobble。　　He；

too；　was　dressed　en　militaire；　with　a　frogged　coat　and　spurs；　and

was　walking　with　a　showy…looking；　Jewish…faced；　black…haired　lady；

glittering　with　chains　and　rings；　with　a　green　bonnet　and　a　bird…

of…Paradisea　lilac　shawl；　a　yellow　gown；　pink　silk　stockings；　and

light…blue　shoes。　　Three　children；　and　a　handsome　footman；　were

walking　behind　her；　and　the　party；　not　seeing　me；　entered　the

〃Royal　Hotel〃　together。



I　was　known　myself　at　the　〃Royal；〃　and　calling　one　of　the　waiters；

learned　the　names　of　the　lady　and　gentleman。　　He　was　Captain

Dobble；　the　son　of　the　rich　army…clothier；　Dobble　（Dobble；　Hobble

and　Co。　of　Pall　Mall）；the　lady　was　a　Mrs。　Manasseh；　widow　of　an

American　Jew；　living　quietly　at　Leamington　with　her　children；　but

possessed　of　an　immense　property。　　There's　no　use　to　give　one's

self　out　to　be　an　absolute　pauper：　so　the　fact　is；　that　I　myself

went　everywhere　with　the　character　of　a　man　of　very　large　means。

My　father　had　died；　leaving　me　immense　sums　of　money；　and　landed

estates。　　Ah！　I　was　the　gentleman　then；　the　real　gentleman；　and

everybody　was　too　happy　to　have　me　at　table。



Well；　I　came　the　next　day；　and　left　a　card　for　Dobble；　with　a　note。

He　neither　returned　my　visit；　nor　answered　my　note。　　The　day　after；

however；　I　met　him　with　the　widow；　as　before；　and　going　up　to　him；

very　kindly　seized　him　by　the　hand；　and　swore　I　wasas　really　was

the　casecharmed　to　see　him。　　Dobble　hung　back；　to　my　surprise；

and　I　do　believe　the　creature　would　have　cut　me；　if　he　dared；　but　I

gave　him　a　frown；　and　said



〃What；　Dobble；　my　boy；　don't　you　recollect　old　Stubbs；　and　our

adventure　with　the　butcher's　daughtersha？〃



Dobble　gave　a　sickly　kind　of　grin；　and　said；　〃Oh！　ah！　yes！　　It　is

yes！　it　is；　I　believe；　Captain　Stubbs。〃



〃An　old　comrade；　Madam；　of　Captain　Dobble's；　and　one　who　has　heard

so　much；　and　seen　so　much　of　your　ladyship；　that　he　must　take　the

liberty　of　begging　his　friend　to　introduce　him。〃



Dobble　was　obliged　to　take　the　hint；　and　Captain　Stubbs　was　duly

presented　to　Mrs。　Manasseh。　　The　lady　was　as　gracious　as　possible；

and　when；　at　the　end　of　the　walk；　we　parted；　she　said　〃she　hoped

Captain　Dobble　would　bring　me　to　her　apartments　that　evening；　where

she　expected　a　few　friends。〃　　Everybody；　you　see；　knows　everybody

at　Leamington；　and　I；　for　my　part；　was　well　known　as　a　retired

officer　of　the　army；　who；　on　his　father's　death；　had　come　into

seven　thousand　a　year。　　Dobble's　arrival　had　been　subsequent　to

mine；　but　putting　up　as　he　did　at　the　〃Royal　Hotel；〃　and　dining　at

the　ordinary　there　with　the　widow；　he　had　made　her　acquaintance

before　I　had。　　I　saw；　however；　that　if　I　allowed　him　to　talk　about

me；　as　he　could；　I　should　be　compelled　to　give　up　all　my　hopes　and

pleasures　at　Leamington；　and　so　I　determined　to　be　short　with　him。

As　soon　as　the　lady　had　gone　into　the　hotel；　my　friend　Dobble　was

for　leaving　me　likewise；　but　I　stopped　him　and　said；　〃Mr。　Dobble；　I

saw　what　you　meant　just　now：　you　wanted　to　cut　me；　because；

forsooth；　I　did　not　choose　to　fight　a　duel　at　Portsmouth。　　Now　look

you；　Dobble；　I　am　no　hero；　but　I'm　not　such　a　coward　as　youand

you　know　it。　　You　are　a　very　different　man　to　deal　with　from

Waters；　and　I　WILL　FIGHT　this　time。〃



Not　perhaps　that　I　would：　but　after　the　business　of　the　butcher；　I

knew　Dobble　to　be　as　great　a　coward　as　ever　lived；　and　there　never

was　any　harm　in　threatening；　for　you　know　you　are　not　obliged　to

stick　to　it　afterwards。　　My　words　had　their　effect　upon　Dobble；　who

stuttered　and　looked　red；　and　then　declared　he　never　had　the

slightest　intention　of　passing　me　by；　so　we　became　friends；　and　his

mouth　was　stopped。



He　was　very　thick　with　the　widow；　but　that　lady　had　a　very

capacious　heart；　and　there　were　a　number　of　other　gentlemen　who

seemed　equally　smitten　with　her。　　〃Look　at　that　Mrs。　Manasseh；〃

said　a　gentleman　（it　was　droll；　HE　was　a　Jew；　too）　sitting　at

dinner　by　me。　　〃She　is　old；　and　ugly；　and　yet；　because　she　has

money；　all　the　men　are　flinging　themselves　at　her。〃



〃She　has　money；　has　she？〃



〃Eighty　thousand　pounds；　and　twenty　thousand　for　each　of　her

children。　　I　know　it　FOR　A　FACT；〃　said　the　strange　gentleman。　　〃I

am　in　the　law；　and　we　of　our　faith；　you　know；　know　pretty　well　what

the　great　families　amongst　us　are　worth。〃



〃Who　was　Mr。　Manasseh？〃　said　I。



〃A　man　of　enormous　wealtha　tobacco…merchantWest　Indies；　a

fellow　of　no　birth；　however；　and　who；　between　ourselves；　married　a

woman　that　is　not　much　better　than　she　should　be。　　My　dear　sir；〃

whispered　he；　〃she　is　always　in　love。　　Now　it　is　with　that　Captain

Dobble；　last　week　it　was　somebody　elseand　it　may　be　you　next

week；　ifha！　ha！　ha！you　are　disposed　to　enter　the　lists。　　I

wouldn't；　for　MY　part；　have　the　woman　with　twice　her　money。〃



What　did　it　matter　to　me　whether　the　woman　was　good　or　not；

provided　she　was　rich？　　My　course　was　quite　clear。　　I　told　Dobble

all　that　this　gentleman　had　informed　me；　and　being　a　pretty　good

hand　at　making　a　story；　I　made　the　widow　appear　SO　bad；　that　the

poor　fellow　was　quite　frightened；　and　fairly　quitted　the　field。

Ha！　ha！　I'm　dashed　if　I　did　not　make　him　believe　that　Mrs。　Manasseh

had　MURDERED　her　last　husband。



I　played　my　game　so　well；　thanks　to　the　information　that　my　friend

the　lawyer　had　given　me；　that　in　a　month　I　had　got　the　widow　to

show　a　most　decided　partiality　for　me。　　I　sat　by　her　at　dinner；　I

drank　with　her　at　the　〃Wells〃I　rode　with　her；　I　danced　with　her；

and　at　a　picnic　to　Kenilworth；　where　we　drank　a　good　deal　of

champagne；　I　actually　popped　the　question；　and　was　accepted。　　In

another　month；　Robert　Stubbs；　Esq。；　led　to　t