beasts and super-beasts(野兽与超级野兽)-第24章
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replace him at short notice。 I should have to send to Paris； and the
Duke loves Byzantine omelettes。 It was the one thing we talked
about coming from the station。〃
〃He was one of the strike…breakers at Lord Grimford's；〃 reiterated
Richardson。
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〃This is too awful；〃 said Sophie； 〃a strike of servants at a moment
like this； with the Duke of Syria staying in the house。 Something must
be done immediately。 Quick； finish my hair and I'll go and see what I
can do to bring them round。〃
〃I can't finish your hair； madame；〃 said Richardson quietly； but with
immense decision。 〃I belong to the union and I can't do another half…
minute's work till the strike is settled。 I'm sorry to be disobliging。〃
〃But this is inhuman！〃 exclaimed Sophie tragically； 〃I've always
been a model mistress and I've refused to employ any but union servants；
and this is the result。 I can't finish my hair myself； I don't know how to。
What am I to do？ It's wicked！〃
〃Wicked is the word；〃 said Richardson； 〃I'm a good Conservative
and I've no patience with this Socialist foolery； asking your pardon。 It's
tyranny； that's what it is； all along the line； but I've my living to make；
same as other people； and I've got to belong to the union。 I couldn't
touch another hair…pin without a strike permit； not if you was to double
my wages。〃
The door burst open and Catherine Malsom raged into the room。
〃Here's a nice affair；〃 she screamed； 〃a strike of household servants
without a moment's warning； and I'm left like this！ I can't appear in
public in this condition。〃
After a very hasty scrutiny Sophie assured her that she could not。
〃Have they all struck？〃 she asked her maid。
〃Not the kitchen staff；〃 said Richardson； 〃they belong to a different
union。〃
〃Dinner at least will be assured；〃 said Sophie； 〃that is something to
be thankful for。〃
〃Dinner！〃 snorted Catherine； 〃what on earth is the good of dinner
when none of us will be able to appear at it？ Look at your hair … and
look at me！ or rather； don't。〃
〃I know it's difficult to manage without a maid； can't your husband
be any help to you？〃 asked Sophie despairingly。
〃Henry？ He's in worse case than any of us。 His man is the only
person who really understands that ridiculous new…fangled Turkish bath
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that he insists on taking with him everywhere。〃
〃Surely he could do without a Turkish bath for one evening；〃 said
Sophie； 〃I can't appear without hair； but a Turkish bath is a luxury。〃
〃My good woman；〃 said Catherine； speaking with a fearful intensity；
〃Henry was in the bath when the strike started。 In it； do you understand？
He's there now。〃
〃Can't he get out？〃
〃He doesn't know how to。 Every time he pulls the lever marked
'release' he only releases hot steam。 There are two kinds of steam in the
bath； 'bearable' and 'scarcely bearable'； he has released them both。 By
this time I'm probably a widow。〃
〃I simply can't send away Gaspare；〃 wailed Sophie； 〃I should never
be able to secure another omelette specialist。〃
〃Any difficulty that I may experience in securing another husband is
of course a trifle beneath anyone's consideration；〃 said Catherine
bitterly。
Sophie capitulated。 〃Go；〃 she said to Richardson； 〃and tell the
Strike Committee； or whoever are directing this affair； that Gaspare is
herewith dismissed。 And ask Gaspare to see me presently in the library；
when I will pay him what is due to him and make what excuses I can；
and then fly back and finish my hair。〃
Some half an hour later Sophie marshalled her guests in the Grand
Salon preparatory to the formal march to the dining…room。 Except that
Henry Malsom was of the ripe raspberry tint that one sometimes sees at
private theatricals representing the human complexion； there was little
outward sign among those assembled of the crisis that had just been
encountered and surmounted。 But the tension had been too stupefying
while it lasted not to leave some mental effects behind it。 Sophie
talked at random to her illustrious guest； and found her eyes straying
with increasing frequency towards the great doors through which would
presently come the blessed announcement that dinner was served。 Now
and again she glanced mirror…ward at the reflection of her wonderfully
coiffed hair； as an insurance underwriter might gaze thankfully at an
overdue vessel that had ridden safely into harbour in the wake of a
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devastating hurricane。 Then the doors opened and the welcome figure
of the butler entered the room。 But he made no general
announcement of a banquet in readiness； and the doors closed behind
him； his message was for Sophie alone。
〃There is no dinner； madame；〃 he said gravely； 〃the kitchen staff
have 'downed tools。' Gaspare belongs to the Union of Cooks and
Kitchen Employees； and as soon as they heard of his summary dismissal
at a moment's notice they struck work。 They demand his instant
reinstatement and an apology to the union。 I may add； madame； that
they are very firm； I've been obliged even to hand back the dinner rolls
that were already on the table。〃
After the lapse of eighteen months Sophie Chattel… Monkheim is
beginning to go about again among her old haunts and associates； but
she still has to be very careful。 The doctors will not let her attend
anything at all exciting； such as a drawing…room meeting or a Fabian
conference； it is doubtful； indeed； whether she wants to。
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THE FEAST OF NEMESIS
〃IT'S a good thing that Saint Valentine's Day has dropped out of
vogue；〃 said Mrs。 Thackenbury； 〃what with Christmas and New Year
and Easter； not to speak of birthdays； there are quite enough
remembrance days as it is。 I tried to save myself trouble at Christmas
by just sending flowers to all my friends； but it wouldn't work；
Gertrude has eleven hot…houses and about thirty gardeners； so it would
have been ridiculous to send flowers to her； and Milly has just started a
florist's shop； so it was equally out of the question there。 The stress
of having to decide in a hurry what to give to Gertrude and Milly just
when I thought I'd got the whole question nicely off my mind
completely ruined my Christmas； and then the awful monotony of the
letters of thanks： 'Thank you so much for your lovely flowers。 It was
so good of you to think of me。' Of course in the majority of cases I
hadn't thought about the recipients at all； their names were down in my
list of 'people who must not be left out。' If I trusted to remembering
them there would be some awful sins of omission。〃
〃The trouble is；〃 said Clovis to his aunt； 〃all these days of intrusive
remembrance harp so persistently on one aspect of human nature and
entirely ignore the other； that is why they become so perfunctory and
artificial。 At Christmas and New Year you are emboldened and
encouraged by convention to send gushing messages of optimistic
goodwill and servile affection to people whom you would scarcely ask
to lunch unless some one else had failed you at the last moment； if you
are supping at a restaurant on New Year's Eve you are permitted and
expected to join hands and sing 'For Auld Lang Syne' with strangers
whom you have never seen before and never want to see again。 But no
licence is allowed in the opposite direction。〃
〃Opposite direction； what opposite direction？〃 queried Mrs。
Thackenbury。
〃There is no outlet for demonstrating your feelings towards people
whom you simply loathe。 That is really the crying need of our modern
civilisation。 Just think how jolly it would be if a recognised day were
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set apart for the paying off of old scores and grudges； a day when one
could lay oneself out to be gracefully vindictive to a carefully treasured
list of 'people who must not be let off。' I remember when I was at a
private school we had one day； the last Monday of the term I think it was；
consecrated to the settlement of feuds and grudges； of course we did not
appreciate it as much as it deserved； because； after all； any day of the
term could be used for that purpose。 Still； if one had chastised a
smaller boy for being cheeky weeks before； one was alw
