the foundations of personality-第7章

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rd；　fears　punishment　and　hates　blame。　Another　child　responds　mainly　to　reward；　is　but　little　moved　by　praise；　fears　punishment　and　laughs　at　blame。　Still　another　only　fears　punishment；　while　there　is　a　type　of　deeply　antisocial　nature　which　goes　his　own　way；　seeking　his　own　egoistic　purposes；　uninfluenced　by　the　opinion　of　others；　accepting　reward　cynically　and　fighting　against　punishment。　More　than　that；　each　child　shows　peculiarities　in　the　types　of　praise；　reward；　blame　and　punishment　that　move　him。　Some　children　need　corporal　punishment＇1＇　and　others　who　are　made　rebels　by　it　are　melted　into　conformity　by　ostracism。　＇1＇　It　is　a　wishy…washy　ideal　of　teaching　that　regards　pain　as　equivalent　to　cruelty。　On　the　contrary；　it　may　be　real　cruelty　to　spare　pain；cruelty　to　the　future　of　the　child。　Pain　is　a　great　teacher；　whether　inflicted　by　the　knife　one　has　been　told　not　to　play　with；　or　by　the　parent　when　the　injunction　not　to　play　with　the　knife　has　been　disregarded。

The　distribution　of　praise　and　blame　constitutes　the　distribution　of　public　opinion。　Wherever　public　opinion　is　free　to　exercise　its　power　it　is　a　weapon　of　extraordinary　potency　before　which　almost　nothing　can　stand。　One　might　define　a　free　nation　as　one　where　public　opinion　has　no　limits；＇1＇　where　no　one　is　prevented　from　the　expression　of　belief　about　the　action　of　others；　and　no　one　is　exempted　from　the　pressure　of　opinion。　Conversely　an　autocracy　is　one　where　there　is　but　little　room　for　the　public　use　of　praise　and　but　little　power　to　blame；　especially　in　regard　to　the　rulers。　But　in　all　societies；　whether　free　or　otherwise；　people　are　constantly　praising；　constantly　blaming　one　another；　whether　over　the　teacups　or　the　wine　glasses；　in　the　sewing　circle　or　the　smoking　rooms；　in　the　midst　of　families；　in　the　press；　in　the　great　halls　of　the　states　and　nations。　These　are　〃the　mallets〃　by　which　society　beats　or　attempts　to　beat　individuals　into　the　accepted　shape。　＇1＇　In　fact；　Oliver　Wendell　Holmes　has　defined　as　the　great　object　of　human　society　the　free　growth　and　expression　of　human　thought。　How　far　we　are　from　that　ideal！

Men　and　women　and　children　all　strive　to　be　praised；　if　not　by　their　own　group；　by　some　other　group　or　by　some　generation。　It　is；　therefore；　a　high　achievement　to　introduce　a　new　ideal　of　character　and　personality　to　the　group。　Menwhose　opinion　as　to　desirability　and　praiseworthiness　has　been　the　prepotent　opinionlove　best　of　all　beauty　in　woman。　Therefore；　the　ideal　of　beauty　as　an　achievement　is　a　leading　factor　in　the　character　formation　of　most　girls　and　young　women。　The　first　question　girls　ask　about　one　another　is；　〃Is　she　pretty？〃　and　in　their　criticism　of　one　another　the　personal　appearance　is　the　first　and　most；　important　subject　discussed。　A　personal　beauty　ideal　has　little　value　to　the　character；　in　fact；　it　tends　to　exaggerate　vanity　and　triviality　and　selfishness；　it　leads　away　from　the　higher　aspects　of　reality。　If　you　ask　the　majority　of　women　which　would　they　rather　be；　very　beautiful　or　very　intelligent；　most　will　say　without　question　（in　their　frank　moments）　that　they　would　rather　be　very　beautiful。　Those　who　are　attempting　to　introduce　the　ideal　of　intelligence　as　a　goal　to　women　need　of　course　to　balance　it　with　other　ideals；　but　if　successful　they　will　revolutionize　the　attitude　of　women　toward　life　and　change　the　trend　of　their　character。　Such　ideals　as　beauty　and　wealth；　however；　do　not　acquire　their　imperativeness　unless　at　the　same　time　they　gratify　some　deep…seated　group　of　desires　or　instincts。　Wealth　gives　too　many　things　to　catalogue　here；　but　fundamentally　it　gives　power；　and　so　beauty　which　may　lead　to　wealth　is　always　a　source　of　power；　although　this　power　carries　with　it　danger　to　the　owner。　Mankind　has　been　praising　unselfishness　for　thousands　of　years；　and　all　men　hate　to　be　called　selfish；　but　selfishness　still　rules　in　the　lives　of　most　of　the　people　of　the　world。　Chastity　and　continence　receive　the　praise　of　the　religious　of　the　world；　as　well　as　of　the　ascetic…minded　of　all　types；　yet　the　majority　of　men；　in　theory　accepting　this　ideal；　reject　it　in　practice。　Selfishness　leads　to　self…gratification　and　pleasure；　chastity　imposes　a　burden　on　desire；　and　praise　and　blame　are　in　this　instance　not　powerful　enough　to　control　mankind's　acts；　though　powerful　enough　to　influence　them。　Wherever　social　pressure　and　education　influence　men　and　women　to　conduct　which　is　contrary　to　the　gratification　of　fundamental　desires；　it　causes　an　uneasiness；　an　unhappiness　and　discomfort　upon　which　Graham　Wallas＇1＇　has　laid　great　stress　as　the　balked　desire。　The　history　of　man　is　made　up　of　the　struggle　of　normal　instincts；　emotions　and　purposes　against　the　mistaken　inhibitions　and　prohibitions；　against　mistaken　praise　and　blame；　reward　and　punishment。　Moral　and　ethical　ideals　develop　institutions；　and　these　often　press　too　heavily　upon　the　life　and　activities　of　those　who　accept　them　as　authoritative。　＇1＇　See　his　book　〃The　Great　Society〃　for　a　fine　discussion　of　this　important　matter。

We　have　spoken　as　if　praise　and　blame　invariably　had　the　same　results。　On　the　contrary；　though　in　general　they　tend　to　bring　about　uniformity　and　conformity；　people　vary　remarkably　from　one　another　in　their　reaction　and　the　same　person　is　not　uniform　in　his　reactions。　The　reaction　to　praise　is　on　the　whole　an　increased　happiness　and　vigor；　but　of　course　it　may；　when　undeserved；　demoralize　the　character　and　lead　to　a　foolish　vanity　and　to　inefficiency。　To　those　whose　conscience　is　highly　developed；　undeserved　praise　is　painful　in　that　it　leads　to　a　feeling　that　one　is　deceiving　others。　Speaking　broadly；　this　is　a　rare　reaction。　Most　people　accept　praise　as　their　due；　just　as　they　attribute　success　to　their　merits。＇1＇　The　reaction　to　blame　may　be　anger；　if　the　blame　is　felt　to　be　undeserved；　and　there　are　people　of　irritable　ego　who　respond　in　this　way　to　all　blame　or　even　the　hint　of　adverse　criticism。　The　reaction　may　be　humiliation　and　lowered　self…valuation；　greatly　deenergizing　the　character　and　lowering　efficiency。　There；　again；　though　this　reaction　occurs　in　some　degree　to　all；　others　are　so　constituted　that　all　criticism　or　blame　is　extremely　painful　and　needs　to　be　tempered　with　praise　and　encouragement。　Where　blame　is　felt　to　be　deserved；　and　where　the　character　is　one　of　striving　after　betterment；　where　the　ego　is　neither　irritable　nor　tender；　blame　is　an　aid　to　growth　and　efficiency。　Many　a　man　flares　up　under　blame　who　〃cools〃　down　when　he　sees　the　justice　of　the　criticism；　and　changes　accordingly。　＇1＇　A　very　striking　example　of　this　was　noticeable　during　the　Great　War。　American　business　men　in　general；　producers；　distributors；　wholesalers；　retailers　and　speculators　all　got　〃rich；〃some　in　extraordinary　measure。　Did　many　of　them　attribute　this　to　the　fact　that　there　was　a　〃sellers'　market〃　caused　by　the　conditions　over　which　the　individual　business　man　had　no　control？　On　the　contrary；　the　overwhelming　majority　quite　complacently　attributed　the　success　（which　later　proved　ephemeral）　to　their　own　ability。

Therefore；　in　estimating　the　character　of　any　individual；　one　must　ask　into　the　nature　of　his　environment；　the　traits　and　teachings　of　the　group　from　which　he　comes　and　among　whom　he　has　lived。　To　understand　any　one　this　inquiry　must　be　detailed　and　reach　back　into　his　early　life。　Yet　not　too　much　stress　must　be　laid　upon　certain　influences　in　regard　to　certain　qualities。　For　example；　the　average　child　is　not　influenced　greatly　by　immorality　until　near　puberty；　but　dishonesty　and　bad　manners　strike　at　him　from　early　childhood。　The　large　group；　the　small　group；　family　life；　gang　life　influence　character；　but　not　necessarily　in　a　direct　way。　They　may　act　to　develop　counter…　prejudices；　for　there　is　no　one　so　bitter　against　alcoholism　as　the　man　whose　father　was　a　drunkard　and　who　himself　revolts　against　it。　And　there　is　no　one　so　radical　as　he　whose　youth　was　cramped　by　too　much　conservatism。　One　might　easily　classify　people　according　to　their　reaction　to　reward；　praise；　punishment　and　blame。　This　would　lead　us　too　far　afield。　But　at　least　it　is　safe　to　say　that　in　using　these　factors　in　directing　conduct　and　character　the　individual　must　be　studied　in　a　detailed　way。　The　average　child；　the　average　man　and　woman　is　found　only　in　statistics。　Everywhere；　to　deal　successfully；　one　must　deal　with　the　individual。　There　is　a　praise…reacting　type　to　whom　praise　acts　as　a　tonic　of　incomparable　worth；　especially　when　he　who　administers　the　praise　is　respected。　And　there　are　employers；　teachers　and　parents　who　ignore　this　fact　entirely；　who　use　praise　too　little　or　not　at　all　and　who　rely　on　adverse　criticism。　The　hunger　for　appreciation　is　a　deep；　intense　need；　and　many　of　the　problems　of　life　would　melt　before　the　proper　use　of　praise。　〃Fine　words　butter　no　parsnips〃　means　that　reward　of　other　kinds　is　needed　to　give　substance　to　praise。　Praise　only　without　reward　losses　its　value。　〃I　get　lots　of　'Thank　you's'　and　'You　are　a　good　fellow'；〃　complained　a　porter　to　me　once；　〃but　I　cannot　bring　up　my　family　on　them。〃　In　their　hearts；　no　matter　what　they　say；　the　majority　of　people　place　highly　him　who　is　just　in　compensation　and　reward　and　they　want　substantial　goods。　Many　a　young　scientist　of　my　acquaintance　has　found　that　election　to　learned　societies　and　praise　and　respect　palled　on　him　as　compared　to　a　living　salary。　Money　can　be　exchanged　for　vacations；　education；　books；　good　times　and　the　opportunity　of　helping　others；　but　praise　has　no　cash　exchange　value。　Blame　and　punishment　are　intensely　individual　matters。　Where　they　are　used　to　correct　and　to　better　the　character；　where　they　are　the　tools　of　the　friends　and　teacher　and　not　the　weapons　of　the　enemy；　great　care　must　be　used。　Character　building　is　an　aim；　not　a　technique；　and　the　end　has　justified　the　means。　Society　has　just　about　come　to　the　conclusion　that　merely　punishing　the　criminal　does　not　reform　him；　and　merely　to　punish　the　child　has　but　part　of　the　effect　desired。　In　character　training　punishment　and　blame　must　bring　PAIN；　but　that　pain　must　be　felt　to　be　deserved　（at　least　in　the　older　child　and　adult）　and　not　arouse　lasting　anger　or　humiliation。　It　must　teach　the　error　of　the　ways　and　prepare　the　recipient　for　instruction　as　to　the　right　away。　Often　enough　the　pain　of　punishment　and　blame　widens　the　breach　between　the　teacher　and　pupil　merely　because　the　former　has　inflicted　pain　without　recompense。　One　might　put　it　thus：　The　pleasure　of　praise　and　reward　must　energize；　the　pain　of　blame　and　punishment。　must　teach；　else　teacher　and　society　have　misused　these　social　tools。　〃Very　well；〃　I　hear　some　readers　say；　〃is　conscience　to　be　dismissed　so　shortly？　Have　not　men　dared　to　do　right　in　the　face　of　a　world　that　blamed　and　punished；　have　they　not　stood　without　praise　or　reward　or　the　fellowship　of　others　for　the　actions　their　conscience　dictated？〃　Yes；　indeed。　What；　then；　is　conscience？　For　the　common　thought　of　the　world　it　is　an　inward　mentor　placed　by　God　within　the　bosom　of　man　to　guide　him；　to　goad　him；　even；　into　choosing　right　and　avoiding　wrong。　Where　the　conception　of　conscience　is　not　quite　so　literal　and　direct　it　is　held　to　be　an　immanent　something　of　innate　origin。　Whatever