bel ami-第12章

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you　will　catch　more　cold　and　that　would　be　a　serious　thing　in　your
condition。〃

He　made　a　feeble　gesture　of　anger　with　his　right　hand；　and　said：　〃I
tell　you　I　am　suffocating！　What　difference　does　it　make　if　I　die　a
day　sooner　or　later；　since　I　must　die？〃

She　opened　the　window　wide。　The　air　was　soft　and　balmy。　Forestier
inhaled　it　in　feverish　gasps。　He　grasped　the　arms　of　his　chair　and
said　in　a　low　voice：　〃Shut　the　window。　I　would　rather　die　in　a
cellar。〃

His　wife　slowly　closed　the　window；　then　leaned　her　brow　against　the
pane　and　looked　out。　Duroy；　ill　at　ease；　wished　to　converse　with　the
invalid　to　reassure　him；　but　he　could　think　of　no　words　of　comfort。
He　stammered：　〃Have　you　not　been　better　since　you　are　here？〃

His　friend　shrugged　his　shoulders　impatiently：　〃You　will　see　very
soon。〃　And　he　bowed　his　head　again。

Duroy　continued：　〃At　home　it　is　still　wintry。　It　snows；　hails；
rains；　and　is　so　dark　that　they　have　to　light　the　lamps　at　three
o'clock　in　the　afternoon。〃

Forestier　asked：　〃Is　there　anything　new　at　the　office？〃

〃Nothing。　They　have　taken　little　Lacrin　of　the　'Voltaire'　to　fill
your　place；　but　he　is　incapable。　It　is　time　you　came　back。〃

The　invalid　muttered：　〃I？　I　will　soon　be　writing　under　six　feet　of
sod。〃　A　long　silence　ensued。

Mme。　Forestier　did　not　stir；　she　stood　with　her　back　to　the　room；
her　face　toward　the　window。　At　length　Forestier　broke　the　silence　in
a　gasping　voice；　heartrending　to　listen　to：　〃How　many　more　sunsets
shall　I　seeeighttenfifteentwentyor　perhaps　thirtyno
more。　You　have　more　time；　you　twoas　for　meall　is　at　an　end。　And
everything　will　go　on　when　I　am　gone　as　if　I　were　here。〃　He　paused　a
few　moments；　then　continued：　〃Everything　that　I　see　reminds　me　that
I　shall　not　see　them　long。　It　is　horrible。　I　shall　no　longer　see　the
smallest　objectsthe　glassesthe　dishesthe　beds　on　which　we
restthe　carriages。　It　is　fine　to　drive　in　the　evening。　How　I　loved
all　that。〃

Again　Norbert　de　Varenne's　words　occurred　to　Duroy。　The　room　grew
dark。　Forestier　asked　irritably：

〃Are　we　to　have　no　lamp　to…night？　That　is　what　is　called　caring　for
an　invalid！〃

The　form　outlined　against　the　window　disappeared　and　an　electric
bell　was　heard　to　ring。　A　servant　soon　entered　and　placed　a　lamp
upon　the　mantel…piece。　Mme。　Forestier　asked　her　husband：　〃Do　you
wish　to　retire；　or　will　you　go　downstairs　to　dinner？〃

〃I　will　go　down　to　dinner。〃

The　meal　seemed　to　Duroy　interminable；　for　there　was　no
conversation；　only　the　ticking　of　a　clock　broke　the　silence。　When
they　had　finished；　Duroy；　pleading　fatigue；　retired　to　his　room　and
tried　in　vain　to　invent　some　pretext　for　returning　home　as　quickly
as　possible。　He　consoled　himself　by　saying：　〃Perhaps　it　will　not　be
for　long。〃

The　next　morning　Georges　rose　early　and　strolled　down　to　the　beach。
When　he　returned　the　servant　said　to　him：　〃Monsieur　has　asked　for
you　two　or　three　times。　Will　you　go　upstairs？〃

He　ascended　the　stairs。　Forestier　appeared　to　be　in　a　chair；　his
wife；　reclining　upon　a　couch；　was　reading。　The　invalid　raised　his
head。　Duroy　asked：

〃Well；　how　are　you？　You　look　better　this　morning。〃

Forestier　murmured：　〃Yes；　I　am　better　and　stronger。　Lunch　as　hastily
as　you　can　with　Madeleine；　because　we　are　going　to　take　a　drive。〃

When　Mme。　Forestier　was　alone　with　Duroy；　she　said　to　him：　〃You　see；
to…day　he　thinks　he　is　better！　He　is　making　plans　for　to…morrow。　We
are　now　going　to　Gulf　Juan　to　buy　pottery　for　our　rooms　in　Paris。　He
is　determined　to　go；　but　he　cannot　stand　the　jolting　on　the　road。〃

The　carriage　arrived；　Forestier　descended　the　stairs；　step　by　step；
supported　by　his　servant。　When　he　saw　the　closed　landau；　he　wanted
it　uncovered。　His　wife　opposed　him：　〃It　is　sheer　madness！　You　will
take　cold。〃

He　persisted：　〃No；　I　am　going　to　be　better；　I　know　it。〃

They　first　drove　along　a　shady　road　and　then　took　the　road　by　the
sea。　Forestier　explained　the　different　points　of　interest。　Finally
they　arrived　at　a　pavilion　over　which　were　these　words：　〃Gulf　Juan
Art　Pottery；〃　and　the　carriage　drew　up　at　the　door。　Forestier　wanted
to　buy　a　vase　to　put　on　his　bookcase。　As　he　could　not　leave　the
carriage；　they　brought　the　pieces　to　him　one　by　one。　It　took　him　a
long　time　to　choose；　consulting　his　wife　and　Duroy：　〃You　know　it　is
for　my　study。　From　my　easy…chair　I　can　see　it　constantly。　I　prefer
the　ancient　formthe　Greek。〃

At　length　he　made　his　choice。　〃I　shall　return　to　Paris　in　a　few
days；〃　said　he。

On　their　way　home　along　the　gulf　a　cool　breeze　suddenly　sprang　up；
and　the　invalid　began　to　cough。　At　first　it　was　nothing；　only　a
slight　attack；　but　it　grew　worse　and　turned　to　a　sort　of　hiccougha
rattle；　Forestier　choked；　and　every　time　he　tried　to　breathe　he
coughed　violently。　Nothing　quieted　him。　He　had　to　be　carried　from
the　landau　to　his　room。　The　heat　of　the　bed　did　not　stop　the　attack；
which　lasted　until　midnight。　The　first　words　the　sick　man　uttered
were　to　ask　for　a　barber；　for　he　insisted　on　being　shaved　every
morning。　He　rose　to　be　shaved；　but　was　obliged　to　go　to　bed　at　once；
and　began　to　breathe　so　painfully　that　Mme。　Forestier　in　affright
woke　Duroy　and　asked　him　to　fetch　the　doctor。　He　returned　almost
immediately　with　Dr。　Gavant　who　prescribed　for　the　sick　man。　When
the　journalist　asked　him　his　opinion；　he　said：　〃It　is　the　final
stage。　He　will　be　dead　to…morrow　morning。　Prepare　that　poor；　young
wife　and　send　for　a　priest。　I　can　do　nothing　more。　However；　I　am
entirely　at　your　disposal〃　Duroy　went　to　Mme。　Forestier。　〃He　is
going　to　die。　The　doctor　advises　me　to　send　for　a　priest。　What　will
you　do？〃

She　hesitated　a　moment　and　then　said　slowly：

〃I　will　go　and　tell　him　that　the　cure　wishes　to　see　him。　Will　you　be
kind　enough　to　procure　one　who　will　require　nothing　but　the
confession；　and　who　will　not　make　much　fuss？〃

The　young　man　brought　with　him　a　kind；　old　priest　who　accommodated
himself　to　circumstances。　When　he　had　entered　the　death　chamber；
Mme。　Forestier　went　out　and　seated　herself　with　Duroy　in　an
adjoining　room。

〃That　has　upset　him；〃　said　she。　〃When　I　mentioned　the　priest　to　him；
his　face　assumed　a　scared　expression。　He　knew　that　the　end　was　near。
I　shall　never　forget　his　face。〃

At　that　moment　they　heard　the　priest　saying　to　him：　〃Why　no；　you　are
not　so　low　as　that。　You　are　ill；　but　not　in　danger。　The　proof　of
that　is　that　I　came　as　a　friend；　a　neighbor。〃　They　could　not　hear
his　reply。　The　priest　continued：　〃No；　I　shall　not　administer　the
sacrament。　We　will　speak　of　that　when　you　are　better。　If　you　will
only　confess；　I　ask　no　more。　I　am　a　pastor；　I　take　advantage　of
every　occasion　to　gather　in　my　sheep。〃

A　long　silence　followed。　Then　suddenly　the　priest　said；　in　the　tone
of　one　officiating　at　the　altar：

〃The　mercy　of　God　is　infinite；　repeat　the　'Confiteor；'　my　son。
Perhaps　you　have　forgotten　it；　I　will　help　you。　Repeat　with　me：
'Confiteor　Deo　omnipotenti；　Beata　Mariae　semper　virgini。'〃　He　paused
from　time　to　time　to　permit　the　dying　man　to　catch　up　to　him。

Then　he　said：　〃Now；　confess。〃　The　sick　man　murmured　something。　The
priest　repeated：　〃You　have　committed　sins：　of　what　kind；　my　son？〃

The　young　woman　rose　and　said　simply：　〃Let　us　go　into　the　garden。　We
must　not　listen　to　his　secrets。〃

They　seated　themselves　upon　a　bench　before　the　door；　beneath　a
blossoming　rosebush。　After　several　moments　of　silence　Duroy　asked：
〃Will　it　be　some　time　before　you　return　to　Paris？〃

〃No；〃　she　replied；　〃when　all　is　over；　I　will　go　back。〃

〃In　about　ten　days？〃

〃Yes；　at　most。〃

He　continued；　〃Charles　has　no　relatives　then？〃

〃None；　save　cousins。　His　father　and　mother　died　when　he　was　very
young。〃

In　the　course　of　a　few　minutes；　the　servant　came　to　tell　them　that
the　priest　had　finished；　and　together　they　ascended　the　stairs。
Forestier　seemed　to　have　grown　thinner　since　the　preceding　day。　The
priest　was　holding　his　hand。

〃Au　revoir；　my　son。　I　will　come　again　to…morrow　morning〃；　and　he
left。　When　he　was　gone；　the　dying　man；　who　was　panting；　tried　to
raise　his　two　hands　toward　his　wife　and　gasped：

〃Save　mesave　me；　my　darling。　I　do　not　want　to　dieoh；　save　mego
for　the　doctor。　I　will　take　anything。　I　do　not　want　to　die。〃　He
wept；　the　tears　coursed　down　his　pallid　cheeks。　Then　his　hands
commenced　to　wander　hither　and　thither　continually；　slowly；　and
regularly；　as　if　gathering　something　on　the　coverlet。　His　wife；　who
was　also　weeping；　sobbed：

〃No；　it　is　nothing。　It　is　only　an　attack；　you　will　be　better　to…
morrow；　you　tired　yourself　with　that　drive。〃

Forestier　drew　his　breath　quickly　and　so　faintly　that　one　could
scarcely　hear　him。　He　repeated：

〃I　do　not　want　to　die！　Oh；　my　Godmy　Godwhat　has　happened　to　me？
I　cannot　see。　Oh；　my　God！〃　His　staring　eyes　saw　something　invisible
to　the　others；　his　hands　plucked　continually　at　the　counterpane。
Suddenly　he　shuddered　and　gasped：　〃The　cemeterymemy　God！〃　He　did
not　speak　again。　He　lay　there　motionless　and　ghastly。　The　hours
dragged　on；　the　clock　of　a　neighboring　convent　chimed　noon。

Duroy　left　the　room　to　obtain　some　food。　He　returned　an　hour　later；
Mme。　Forestier　would　eat　nothing。　The　invalid　had　not　stirred。　The
young　woman　was　seated　in　an　easy…chair　at　the　foot　of　the　bed。
Duroy　likewise　seated　himself；　and　they　watched　in　silence。　A　nurse；
sent　by　the　doctor；　had　arrived　and　was　dozing　by　the　window。

Duroy　himself　was　almost　asleep　when　he　felt　a　presentiment　that
something　was　about　to　happen。　He　opened　his　eyes　just　in　time　to
see　Forestier　close　his。　He　coughed　slightly；　and　two　streams　of
blood　issued　from　the　corners　of　his　mouth　and　flowed　upon　his　night
robe；　his　hands　ceased　their　perpetual　motion；　he　had　breathed　his
last。　His　wife；　perceiving　it；　uttered　a　cry　and　fell　upon　her　knees
by　the　bedside。　Georges；　in　surprise　and　affright；　mechanically　made
the　sign　of　the　cross。

The　nurse；　awakening；　approached　the　bed　and　said：　〃It　has　come。〃
Duroy；　recovering　his　self…possession；　murmured　with　a　sigh　of
relief：　〃It　was　not　as　hard　as　I　feared　it　would　be。〃

That　night　Mme。　Forestier　and　Duroy　watched　in　the　chamber　of　death。
They　were　alone　beside　him　who　was　no　more。　They　did　not　speak；
Georges's　eyes　seemed　attracted　to　that　emaciated　face　which　the
flickering　light　made　more　hollow。　That　was　his　friend；　Charles
Forestier；　who　the　day　before　had　spoken　to　him。　For　several　years
he　had　lived；　eaten；　laughed；　loved；　and　hoped　as　did　everyoneand
now　all　was　ended　for　him　forever。

Life　lasted　a　few　months　or　years；　and　then　fled！　One　was　born；
grew；　was　happy；　and　died。　Adieu！　man　or　woman；　you　will　never
return　to　earth！　He　thought　of　the　insects　which　live　several　hours；
of　the　feasts　which　live　several　days；　of　the　men　who　live　several
years；　of　the　worlds　which　last　several　centuries。　What　was　the
difference　between　one　and　the　other？　A　few　more　dawns；　that　was
all。

Duroy　turned　away　his　eyes　in　order　not　to　see　the　corpse。　Mme。
Forestier's　head　was　bowed；　her　fair　hair　enhanced　the　beauty　of　her
sorrowful　face。　The　young　man's　heart　grew　hopeful。　Why　should　he
lament　when　he　had　so　many　years　still　before　him？　He　glanced　at　the
handsome　widow。　How　had　she　ever　consented　to　marry　that　man