the patagonia-第11章

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we're　ashore；〃　I　said。



The　next　day　I　waited　on　her　at　the　usual　hour　of　my　morning　visit；

and　found　her　not　a　little　distraught。　　〃The　scenes　have　begun；〃　she

said；　〃you　know　I　told　you　I　shouldn't　get　through　without　them！　　You

made　me　nervous　last　nightI　haven't　the　least　idea　what　you　meant；

but　you　made　me　horribly　nervous。　　She　came　in　to　see　me　an　hour　ago；

and　I　had　the　courage　to　say　to　her：　　'I　don't　know　why　I　shouldn't

tell　you　frankly　that　I've　been　scolding　my　son　about　you。'　　Of

course　she　asked　what　I　meant　by　that；　and　I　let　her　know。　　'It　seems

to　me　he　drags　you　about　the　ship　too　much　for　a　girl　in　your

position。　　He　has　the　air　of　not　remembering　that　you　belong　to　some

one　else。　　There's　a　want　of　taste　and　even　a　want　of　respect　in　it。'

That　brought　on　an　outbreak：　　she　became　very　violent。〃



〃Do　you　mean　indignant？〃



〃Yes；　indignant；　and　above　all　flustered　and　excitedat　my　presuming

to　suppose　her　relations　with　my　son　not　the　very　simplest　in　the

world。　　I　might　scold　him　as　much　as　I　likedthat　was　between

ourselves；　but　she　didn't　see　why　I　should　mention　such　matters　to

herself。　　Did　I　think　she　allowed　him　to　treat　her　with　disrespect？

That　idea　wasn't　much　of　a　compliment　to　either　of　them！　　He　had

treated　her　better　and　been　kinder　to　her　than　most　other　people

there　were　very　few　on　the　ship　who　hadn't　been　insulting。　　She

should　be　glad　enough　when　she　got　off　it；　to　her　own　people；　to　some

one　whom　nobody　would　have　a　right　to　speak　of。　　What　was　there　in

her　position　that　wasn't　perfectly　natural？　what　was　the　idea　of

making　a　fuss　about　her　position？　　Did　I　mean　that　she　took　it　too

easilythat　she　didn't　think　as　much　as　she　ought　about　Mr。

Porterfield？　　Didn't　I　believe　she　was　attached　to　himdidn't　I

believe　she　was　just　counting　the　hours　till　she　saw　him？　　That　would

be　the　happiest　moment　of　her　life。　　It　showed　how　little　I　knew　her

if　I　thought　anything　else。〃



〃All　that　must　have　been　rather　fineI　should　have　liked　to　hear

it；〃　I　said　after　quite　hanging　on　my　friend's　lips。　　〃And　what　did

you　reply？〃



〃Oh　I　grovelled；　I　assured　her　that　I　accused　heras　regards　my　son…

…of　nothing　worse　than　an　excess　of　good　nature。　　She　helped　him　to

pass　his　timehe　ought　to　be　immensely　obliged。　　Also　that　it　would

be　a　very　happy　moment　for　me　too　when　I　should　hand　her　over　to　Mr。

Porterfield。〃



〃And　will　you　come　up　today？〃



〃No　indeedI　think　she'll　do　beautifully　now。〃



I　heaved　this　time　a　sigh　of　relief。　　〃All's　well　that　ends　well！〃



Jasper　spent　that　day　a　great　deal　of　time　with　his　mother。　　She　had

told　me　how　much　she　had　lacked　hitherto　proper　opportunity　to　talk

over　with　him　their　movements　after　disembarking。　　Everything　changes

a　little　the　last　two　or　three　days　of　a　voyage；　the　spell　is　broken

and　new　combinations　take　place。　　Grace　Mavis　was　neither　on　deck　nor

at　dinner；　and　I　drew　Mrs。　Peck's　attention　to　the　extreme　propriety

with　which　she　now　conducted　herself。　　She　had　spent　the　day　in

meditation　and　judged　it　best　to　continue　to　meditate。



〃Ah　she's　afraid；〃　said　my　implacable　neighbour。



〃Afraid　of　what？〃



〃Well；　that　we'll　tell　tales　when　we　get　there。〃



〃Whom　do　you　mean　by　'we'？〃



〃Well；　there　are　plentyon　a　ship　like　this。〃



〃Then　I　think；〃　I　returned；　〃we　won't。〃



〃Maybe　we　won't　have　the　chance；〃　said　the　dreadful　little　woman。



〃Oh　at　that　moment〃I　spoke　from　a　full　experience〃universal

geniality　reigns。〃



Mrs。　Peck　however　knew　little　of　any　such　law。　　〃I　guess　she's　afraid

all　the　same。〃



〃So　much　the　better！〃



〃Yesso　much　the　better！〃



All　the　next　day　too　the　girl　remained　invisible；　and　Mrs。

Nettlepoint　told　me　she　hadn't　looked　in。　　She　herself　had

accordingly　inquired　by　the　stewardess　if　she　might　be　received　in

Miss　Mavis's　own　quarters；　and　the　young　lady　had　replied　that　they

were　littered　up　with　things　and　unfit　for　visitors：　　she　was　packing

a　trunk　over。　　Jasper　made　up　for　his　devotion　to　his　mother　the　day

before　by　now　spending　a　great　deal　of　his　time　in　the　smoking…room。

I　wanted　to　say　to　him　〃This　is　much　better；〃　but　I　thought　it　wiser

to　hold　my　tongue。　　Indeed　I　had　begun　to　feel　the　emotion　of

prospective　arrivalthe　sense　of　the　return　to　Europe　always　kept

its　intensityand　had　thereby　the　less　attention　for　other　matters。

It　will　doubtless　appear　to　the　critical　reader　that　my　expenditure

of　interest　had　been　out　of　proportion　to　the　vulgar　appearances　of

which　my　story　gives　an　account；　but　to　this　I　can　only　reply　that

the　event　was　to　justify　me。　　We　sighted　land；　the　dim　yet　rich　coast

of　Ireland；　about　sunset；　and　I　leaned　on　the　bulwark　and　took　it　in。

〃It　doesn't　look　like　much；　does　it？〃　I　heard　a　voice　say；　beside　me；

whereupon；　turning；　I　found　Grace　Mavis　at　hand。　　Almost　for　the

first　time　she　had　her　veil　up；　and　I　thought　her　very　pale。



〃It　will　be　more　tomorrow；〃　I　said。



〃Oh　yes；　a　great　deal　more。〃



〃The　first　sight　of　land；　at　sea；　changes　everything；〃　I　went　on。

〃It　always　affects　me　as　waking　up　from　a　dream。　　It's　a　return　to

reality。〃



For　a　moment　she　made　me　no　response；　then　she　said　〃It　doesn't　look

very　real　yet。〃



〃No；　and　meanwhile；　this　lovely　evening；　one　can　put　it　that　the

dream's　still　present。〃



She　looked　up　at　the　sky；　which　had　a　brightness；　though　the　light　of

the　sun　had　left　it　and　that　of　the　stars　hadn't　begun。　　〃It　IS　a

lovely　evening。〃



〃Oh　yes；　with　this　we　shall　do。〃



She　stood　some　moments　more；　while　the　growing　dusk　effaced　the　line

of　the　land　more　rapidly　than　our　progress　made　it　distinct。　　She

said　nothing　more；　she　only　looked　in　front　of　her；　but　her　very

quietness　prompted　me　to　something　suggestive　of　sympathy　and

service。　　It　was　difficult　indeed　to　strike　the　right　notesome

things　seemed　too　wide　of　the　mark　and　others　too　importunate。　　At

last；　unexpectedly；　she　appeared　to　give　me　my　chance。　　Irrelevantly；

abruptly　she　broke　out：　　〃Didn't　you　tell　me　you　knew　Mr。

Porterfield？〃



〃Dear　me；　yesI　used　to　see　him。　　I've　often　wanted　to　speak　to　you

of　him。〃



She　turned　her　face　on　me　and　in　the　deepened　evening　I　imagined　her

more　pale。　　〃What　good　would　that　do？〃



〃Why　it　would　be　a　pleasure；〃　I　replied　rather　foolishly。



〃Do　you　mean　for　you？〃



〃Well；　yescall　it　that；〃　I　smiled。



〃Did　you　know　him　so　well？〃



My　smile　became　a　laugh　and　I　lost　a　little　my　confidence。　　〃You're

not　easy　to　make　speeches　to。〃



〃I　hate　speeches！〃　　The　words　came　from　her　lips　with　a　force　that

surprised　me；　they　were　loud　and　hard。　　But　before　I　had　time　to

wonder　she　went　on　a　little　differently。　　〃Shall　you　know　him　when

you　see　him？〃



〃Perfectly；　I　think。〃　　Her　manner　was　so　strange　that　I　had　to　notice

it　in　some　way；　and　I　judged　the　best　way　was　jocularly；　so　I　added：

〃Shan't　you？〃



〃Oh　perhaps　you'll　point　him　out！〃　　And　she　walked　quickly　away。　　As

I　looked　after　her　there　came　to　me　a　perverse；　rather　a　provoking

consciousness　of　having　during　the　previous　days；　and　especially　in

speaking　to　Jasper　Nettlepoint；　interfered　with　her　situation　in　some

degree　to　her　loss。　　There　was　an　odd　pang　for　me　in　seeing　her　move

about　alone；　I　felt　somehow　responsible　for　it　and　asked　myself　why　I

couldn't　have　kept　my　hands　off。　　I　had　seen　Jasper　in　the　smoking…

room　more　than　once　that　day；　as　I　passed　it；　and　half　an　hour　before

this　had　observed；　through　the　open　door；　that　he　was　there。　　He　had

been　with　her　so　much　that　without　him　she　now　struck　one　as　bereaved

and　forsaken。　　This　was　really　better；　no　doubt；　but　superficially　it

movedand　I　admit　with　the　last　inconsequenceone's　pity。　　Mrs。

Peck　would　doubtless　have　assured　me　that　their　separation　was

gammon：　　they　didn't　show　together　on　deck　and　in　the　saloon；　but

they　made　it　up　elsewhere。　　The　secret　places　on　shipboard　are　not

numerous；　Mrs。　Peck's　〃elsewhere〃　would　have　been　vague；　and　I　know

not　what　licence　her　imagination　took。　　It　was　distinct　that　Jasper

had　fallen　off；　but　of　course　what　had　passed　between　them　on　this

score　wasn't　so　and　could　never　be。　　Later　on；　through　his　mother；　I

had　HIS　version　of　that；　but　I　may　remark　that　I　gave　it　no　credit。

Poor　Mrs。　Nettlepoint；　on　the　other　hand；　was　of　course　to　give　it

all。　　I　was　almost　capable；　after　the　girl　had　left　me；　of　going　to

my　young　man　and　saying：　　〃After　all；　do　return　to　her　a　little；　just

till　we　get　in！　　It　won't　make　any　difference　after　we　land。〃　　And　I

don't　think　it　was　the　fear　he　would　tell　me　I　was　an　idiot　that

prevented　me。　　At　any　rate　the　next　time　I　passed　the　door　of　the

smoking…room　I　saw　he　had　left　it。　　I　paid　my　usual　visit　to　Mrs。

Nettlepoint　that　night；　but　I　troubled　her　no　further　about　Miss

Mavis。　　She　had　made　up　her　mind　that　everything　was　smooth　and

settled　now；　and　it　seemed　to　me　I　had　worried　her；　and　that　she　had

worried　herself；　in　sufficiency。　　I　left　her　to　enjoy　the　deepening

foretaste　of　arrival；　which　had　taken　possession　of　her　mind。　　Before

turning　in　I　went　above　and　found　more　passengers　on　deck　than　I　had

ever　seen　so　late。　　Jasper　moved　about　among　them　alone；　but　I

forbore　to　join　him。　　The　coast　of　Ireland　had　disappeared；　but　the

night　and　the　sea　were　perfect。　　On　the　way　to　my　cabin；　when　I　came

down；　I　met　the　stewardess　in　one　of　the　passages；　and　the　idea

entered　my　head　to　say　to　her：　　〃Do　you　happen　to　know　where　Miss

Mavis　is？〃



〃Why　she's　in　her　room；　sir；　at　this　hour。〃



〃Do　you　suppose　I　could　speak　to　her？〃　　It　had　come　into　my　mind　to

ask　her　why　she　had　wanted　to　know　of　me　if　I　should　recognise　Mr。

Porterfield。



〃No　sir；〃　said　the　stewardess；　〃she　has　gone　to　bed。〃



〃That's　all　right。〃　　And　I　followed　the　young　lady's　excellent

example。



The　next　morning；　while　I　dressed；　the　steward　of　my　side　of　the　ship

came　to　me　as　usual　to　see　what　I　wanted。　　But　the　first　thing　he

said　to；　me　was：　　〃Rather　a　bad　job；　sira　passenger　missing。〃　　And

while　I　took　I　scarce　know　what　instant　chill　from　it；　〃A　lady；　sir；〃

he　went　on〃whom　I　think　you　knew。　　Poor　Miss　Mavis；　sir。〃



〃MISSING？〃　I　criedstaring　at　him　and　horror…stricken。



〃She's　not　on　the　ship。　　They　can't　find　her。〃



〃Then　where　to　God　is　she？〃



I　recall　his　queer　face。　　〃Well　sir；　I　suppose　you　know　that　as　well

as　I。〃



〃Do　you　mean　she　has　jumped　overboard？〃



〃Some　time　in　the　night；　siron　the　quiet。　　But　it's　beyond　every

one；　the　way　she　escaped　notice。　　They　usually　sees　'em；　sir。　　It

must　have　been　about　half…past　two。　　Lord；　but　she　was　sharp；　sir。

She　didn't　so　much　as　make　a　splash。　　They　say　she　'AD　come　against

her　will；　sir。〃



I　had　dropped　upon　my　sofaI　felt　faint。　　The　man　went　on；　liking　to

talk　as　persons　of　his　class　do　when　they　have　something　horrible　to

tell。　　She