poor miss finch-第8章

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〃Yes。　It　is　an　odd　taste　of　mineisn't　it？to　be　fond　of　chasing　in
gold　and　silver。　Years　ago　I　met　with　a　man　in　Italy；　who　taught　me。　It
amused　me；　thenand　it　amuses　me　now。　When　I　was　recovering　from　an
illness　last　spring；　I　shaped　that　vase　out　of　the　plain　metal；　and　made
the　ornaments　on　it。〃

〃Another　mystery　revealed！〃　she　exclaimed。　〃Now　I　know　what　you　wanted
with　those　gold　and　silver　plates　that　came　to　you　from　London。　Are　you
aware　of　what　a　character　you　have　got　here？　There　are　some　of　us　who
suspect　you　of　coining　false　money！〃

They　both　burst　out　laughing　as　gaily　as　a　couple　of　children。　I　declare
I　wished　myself　one　of　the　party！　But　no。　I　had　my　duty　to　do　as　a
respectable　woman。　My　duty　was　to　steal　a　little　nearer；　and　see　if　any
familiarities　were　passing　between　these　two　merry　young　people。　One　half
of　the　open　window　was　sheltered；　on　the　outer　side；　by　a　Venetian　blind。
I　stood　behind　the　blind；　and　peeped　in。　（Duty！　oh；　dear　me；　painful；　but
necessary　duty！）　Dubourg　was　sitting　with　his　back　to　the　window。　Lucilla
faced　me　opposite　to　him。　Her　cheeks　were　flushed　with　pleasure。　She　held
in　her　lap　a　pretty　little　golden　vase。　Her　clever　fingers　were　passing
over　it　rapidly；　exactly　as　they　had　passed；　the　previous　evening；　over
my　face。

〃Shall　I　tell　you　what　the　pattern　is　on　your　vase？〃　she　went　on。

〃Can　you　really　do　that？〃

〃You　shall　judge　for　yourself。　The　pattern　is　made　of　leaves；　with　birds
placed　among　them；　at　intervals。　Stop！　I　think　I　have　felt　leaves　like
these　on　the　old　side　of　the　rectory；　against　the　wall。　Ivy？〃

〃Amazing！　it　_is_　ivy。〃

〃The　birds；〃　she　resumed。　〃I　shan't　be　satisfied　till　I　have　told　you
what　the　birds　are。　Haven't　I　got　silver　birds　like　themonly　much
largerfor　holding　pepper；　and　mustard；　and　sugar；　and　so　on。　Owls！〃　she
exclaimed；　with　a　cry　of　triumph。　〃Little　owls；　sitting　in　ivy…nests。
What　a　delightful　pattern！　I　never　heard　of　anything　like　it　before。〃

〃Keep　the　vase！〃　he　said。　〃You　will　honor　me；　you　will　delight　me；　if　you
will　keep　the　vase。〃

She　rose　and　shook　her　headwithout　giving　him　back　the　vase；　however。

〃I　might　take　it；　if　you　were　not　a　stranger；〃　she　said。　〃Why　don't　you
tell　us　who　you　are；　and　what　your　reason　is　for　living　all　by　yourself
in　this　dull　place？〃

He　stood　before　her；　with　his　head　down；　and　sighed　bitterly。

〃I　know　I　ought　to　explain　myself；〃　he　answered。　〃I　can't　be　surprised　if
people　are　suspicious　of　me。〃　He　paused；　and　added　very　earnestly；　〃I
can't　tell　it　to　_you。_　Oh；　nonot　to　_you！_〃

〃Why　not？〃

〃Don't　ask　me！〃

She　felt　for　the　table；　with　her　ivory　cane；　and　put　the　vase　down　on
itvery　unwillingly。

〃Good　morning；　Mr。　Dubourg；〃　she　said。

He　opened　the　door　of　the　room　for　her　in　silence。　Waiting　close　against
the　side　of　the　house；　I　saw　them　appear　under　the　porch；　and　cross　the
little　walled　enclosure　in　front。　As　she　stepped　out　on　the　open　turf
beyond；　she　turned；　and　spoke　to　him　again。

〃If　you　won't　tell　_me_　your　secret；〃　she　said；　〃will　you　tell　it　to　some
one　else？　Will　you　tell　it　to　a　friend　of　mine？〃

〃To　what　friend？〃　he　asked。

〃To　the　lady　whom　you　met　with　me　last　night。〃

He　hesitated。　〃I　am　afraid　I　offended　the　lady；〃　he　said。

〃So　much　the　more　reason　for　your　explaining　yourself；〃　she　rejoined。　〃If
you　will　only　satisfy　_her；_　I　might　ask　you　to　come　and　see　usI　might
even　take　the　vase。〃　With　that　strong　hint；　she　actually　gave　him　her
hand　at　parting。　Her　perfect　self…possession；　her　easy　familiarity　with
this　strangerso　bold；　and　yet　so　innocentpetrified　me。　〃I　shall　send
my　friend　to　you　this　morning；〃　she　said　imperiously；　striking　her　cane
on　the　turf。　〃I　insist　on　your　telling　her　the　whole　truth。〃

With　that；　she　signed　to　him　that　he　was　to　follow　her　no　farther；　and
went　her　way　back　to　the　village。

Does　it　not　surprise　you；　as　it　surprised　me？　Instead　of　her　blindness
making　her　nervous　in　the　presence　of　a　man　unknown　to　her；　it　appeared
to　have　exactly　the　contrary　effect。　It　made　her　fearless。

He　stood　on　the　spot　where　she　had　left　him；　watching　her　as　she　receded
in　the　distance。　His　manner　towards　her；　in　the　house　and　out　of　the
house；　had　exhibited；　it　is　only　fair　to　say；　the　utmost　consideration
and　respect。　Whatever　shyness　there　had　been　between　them；　was　shyness
entirely　on　his　side。　I　had　a　short　stuff　dress　on；　which　made　no　noise
over　the　grass。　I　skirted　the　wall　of　the　enclosure；　and　approached　him
unsuspected；　from　behind。　〃The　charming　creature！〃　he　said　to　himself；
still　following　her　with　his　eyes。　As　the　words　passed　his　lips；　I　struck
him　smartly　on　the　shoulder　with　my　parasol。

〃Mr。　Dubourg；〃　I　said；　〃I　am　waiting　to　hear　the　truth。〃

He　started　violentlyand　confronted　me　in　speechless　dismay；　his　color
coming　and　going　like　the　color　of　a　young　girl。　Anybody　who　understands
women　will　understand　that　this　behavior　on　his　part；　far　from　softening
me　towards　him；　only　encouraged　me　to　bully　him。

〃In　your　present　position　in　this　place；　sir；〃　I　went　on；　〃do　you　think
it　honorable　conduct　on　your　part　to　decoy　a　young　lady；　to　whom　you　are
a　perfect　stranger；　into　your　housea　young　lady　who　claims；　in　right　of
her　sad　affliction；　even　more　than　the　usual　forbearance　and　respect
which　a　gentleman　owes　to　her　sex？〃

His　shifting　color　settled；　for　the　time；　into　an　angry　red。

〃You　are　doing　me　a　great　injustice；　ma'am；〃　he　answered。　〃It　is　a　shame
to　say　that　I　have　failed　in　respect　to　the　young　lady！　I　feel　the
sincerest　admiration　and　compassion　for　her。　Circumstances　justify　me　in
what　I　have　done；　I　could　not　have　acted　otherwise。　I　refer　you　to　the
young　lady　herself。〃

His　voice　rose　higher　and　higherhe　was　thoroughly　offended　with　me。
Need　I　add　（seeing　the　prospect　not　far　off　of　_his_　bullying　_me_）；　that
I　unblushingly　shifted　my　ground；　and　tried　a　little　civility　next？

〃If　I　have　done　you　an　injustice；　sir；　I　ask　your　pardon；〃　I　answered。
〃Having　said　so　much；　I　have　only　to　add　that　I　shall　be　satisfied　if　I
hear　what　the　circumstances　are；　from　yourself。〃

This　soothed　his　offended　dignity。　His　gentler　manner　began　to　show
itself　again。

〃The　truth　is；〃　he　said；　〃that　I　owe　my　introduction　to　the　young　lady　to
an　ill…tempered　little　dog　belonging　to　the　people　at　the　inn。　The　dog
had　followed　the　person　here　who　attends　on　me：　and　it　startled　the　lady
by　flying　out　and　barking　at　her　as　she　passed　this　house。　After　I　had
driven　away　the　dog；　I　begged　her　to　come　in　and　sit　down　until　she　had
recovered　herself。　Am　I　to　blame　for　doing　that？　I　don't　deny　that　I　felt
the　deepest　interest　in　her　and　that　I　did　my　best　to　amuse　her；　while
she　honored　me　by　remaining　in　my　house。　May　I　ask　if　I　have　satisfied
you？〃

With　the　best　will　in　the　world　to　maintain　my　unfavorable　opinion　of
him；　I　was；　by　this　time；　fairly　forced　to　acknowledge　to　myself　that　the
opinion　was　wrong。　His　explanation　was；　in　tone　and　manner　as　well　as　in
language；　the　explanation　of　a　gentleman。

And；　besidesthough　he　was　a　little　too　effeminate　for　my　tastehe
really　was　such　a　handsome　young　man！　His　hair　was　of　a　fine　bright
chestnut　color；　with　a　natural　curl　in　it。　His　eyes　were　of　the　lightest
brown　I　had　ever　seenwith　a　singularly　winning　gentle　modest　expression
in　them。　As　for　his　complexionso　creamy　and　spotless　and　fairhe　had
no　right　to　it：　it　ought　to　have　been　a　woman's　complexion；　or　at　least　a
boy's。　He　looked　indeed　more　like　a　boy　than　a　man：　his　smooth　face　was
quite　uncovered；　either　by　beard；　whisker；　or　mustache。　If　he　had　asked
me；　I　should　have　guessed　him　（though　he　was　really　three　years　older）　to
have　been　younger　than　Lucilla。

〃Our　acquaintance　has　begun　rather　oddly；　sir；〃　I　said。　〃You　spoke
strangely　to　me　last　night；　and　I　have　spoken　hastily　to　you　this
morning。　Accept　my　excusesand　let　us　try　if　we　can't　do　each　other
justice　in　the　end。　I　have　something　more　to　say　to　you　before　we　part。
Will　you　think　me　a　very　extraordinary　woman；　if　I　suggest　that　you　may
as　well　invite　_me_　next；　to　take　a　chair　in　your　house？〃

He　laughed　with　the　pleasantest　good　temper；　and　led　the　way　in。

We　entered　the　room　in　which　he　had　received　Lucilla；　and　sat　down
together　on　the　two　chairs　near　the　windowwith　this　differencethat　I
contrived　to　possess　myself　of　the　seat　which　he　had　occupied；　and　so　to
place　him　with　his　face　to　the　light。

〃Mr。　Dubourg；〃　I　began；　〃you　will　already　have　guessed　that　I　overheard
what　Miss　Finch　said　to　you　at　parting？〃

He　bowed；　in　silent　acknowledgment　that　it　was　soand　began　to　toy
nervously　with　the　gold　vase　which　Lucilla　had　left　on　the　table。

〃What　do　you　propose　to　do？〃　I　went　on。　〃You　have　spoken　of　the　interest
you　feel　in　my　young　friend。　If　it　is　a　true　interest；　it　will　lead　you
to　merit　her　good　opinion　by　complying　with　her　request。　Tell　me　plainly；
if　you　please。　Will　you　come　and　see　us；　in　the　character　of　a　gentleman
who　has　satisfied　two　ladies　that　they　can　receive　him　as　a　neighbor　and
a　friend？　Or　will　you　oblige　me　to　warn　the　rector　of　Dimchurch　that　his
daughter　is　in　danger　of　permitting　a　doubtful　character　to　force　his
acquaintance　on　her？〃

He　put　the　vase　back　on　the　table；　and　turned　deadly　pale。

〃If　you　knew　what　I　have　suffered；〃　he　said；　〃if　you　had　gone　through
what　I　have　been　compelled　to　endure〃　His　voice　failed　him；　his　soft
brown　eyes　moistened；　his　head　drooped。　He　said　no　more。

In　common　with　all　women；　I　like　a　man　to　_be_　a　man。　There　was；　to　my
mind；　something　weak　and　womanish　in　the　manner　in　which　this　Dubourg　met
the　advance　which　I　had　made　to　him。　He　not　only　failed　to　move　my
pityhe　was　in　danger　of　stirring　up　my　contempt。

〃I　too　have　suffered；〃　I　answered。　〃I　too　have　been　compelled　to　endure。
But　there　is　this　difference　between　us。　_My_　courage　is　not　worn　out。　In
your　place；　if　I　knew　myself　to　be　an　honorable　man；　I　would　not　allow
the　breath　of　suspicion　to　rest　on　me　for　an　instant。　Cost　what　it　might；
I　would　vindicate　myself。　I　should　be　ashamed　to　cryI　should　speak。〃

That　stung　him。　He　started　up　on　his　feet。

〃Have　_you_　been　stared　at　by　hundreds　of　cruel　eyes？〃　he　burst　out
passionately。　〃Have　_you_　been　pointed　at；　without　mercy；　wherever　you
go？　Have　you　been　put　in　the　pillory　of　the　newspapers？　Has　the
photograph　proclaimed　_your_　infamous　notoriety　in　all　the　shop…windows？〃
He　dropped　back　into　his　chair；　and　wrung　his　hands　in　a　frenzy。　〃Oh；　the
public！〃　he　exclaimed；　〃the　horrible　public！　I　can't　get　away　from
themI　can't　hide　myself；　even　here。　You　have　had　your　stare　at　me；　like
the　rest；〃　he　cried；　turning　on　me　fiercely。　〃I　knew　it　when　you　passed
me　last　night。〃

〃I　never　saw　you　out　of　this　place；〃　I　answered。　〃As　for　the　portraits　of
you；　whoever　you　may　be；　I　know　nothing　about　them。　I　was　far　too　anxious
and　too　wretched；　to　amuse　myself　by　looking　into　shop…windows　before　I
came　here。　You；　and　your　name；　are　equally　strange　to　me。　If　you　have　any
respect　for　yourself；　tell　me　who　you　are。　Out　with　the　truth；　sir！　You
know　as　well　as　I　do　that　you　have　gone　too　far　to　stop。〃

I　seized　him　by　the　hand。　I　was　wrought　up　by　the