poor miss finch-第58章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


This　reply　terrified　her　into　instant　submission。　She　assisted　in
replacing　the　bandage　with　her　own　hands。　〃May　I　go　away　to　my　own　room？〃
she　asked；　with　the　simplicity　of　a　child。　〃I　have　seen　such　beautiful
sightsand　I　do　so　want　to　think　of　them　by　myself。〃

The　medical　adviser　instantly　granted　the　patient's　request。　Any
proceeding　which　tended　to　compose　her；　was　a　proceeding　of　which　he
highly　approved。

〃If　Oscar　comes；〃　she　whispered；　as　she　passed　me　on　her　way　to　the　door；
〃mind　I　hear　of　it！　and　mind　you　don't　tell　him　of　the　mistakes　I　have
made！〃　She　paused　for　a　moment；　thinking。　〃I　don't　understand　myself；〃
she　said。　〃I　never　was　so　happy　in　my　life。　And　yet　I　feel　almost　ready
to　cry！〃　She　turned　towards　Grosse。　〃Come　here；　papa。　You　have　been　very
good　to　me　to…day。　I　will　give　you　a　kiss。〃　She　laid　her　hands　lightly　on
his　shoulders；　kissed　his　lined　and　wrinkled　cheek；　gave　me　a　little
squeeze　round　the　waistand　left　us。　Grosse　turned　sharply　to　the
window；　and　used　his　huge　silk　handkerchief　for　a　purpose　to　which　（I
suspect）　it　had　not　been　put　for　many　a　long　year　past。



CHAPTER　THE　FORTIETH

Traces　of　Nugent

〃MADAME　PRATOLUNGO！〃

〃Herr　Grosse？〃

He　put　his　handkerchief　back　into　his　pocket；　and　turned　round　to　me　from
the　window　with　his　face　composed　again；　and　his　tea…caddy　snuff…box　in
his　hand。

〃Now　you　have　seen　for　your　own　self；〃　he　said；　with　an　emphatic　rap　on
the　box；　〃do　you　dare　tell　that　sweet　girls　which　of　them　it　is　that　has
gone　his　ways　and　left　her　for　ever？〃

It　is　not　easy　to　find　a　limit　to　the　obstinacy　of　womenwhen　men　expect
them　to　acknowledge　themselves　to　have　been　wrong。　After　what　I　had　seen；
I　no　more　dared　tell　her　than　he　did。　I　was　only　too　obstinate　to
acknowledge　it　to　himjust　yet。

〃Mind　this！〃　he　went　on。　Whether　you　shake　her　with　frights；　or　whether
you　heat　her　with　rages；　or　whether　you　wound　her　with　griefsit　all

goes　straight　the　same　to　those　weak　new　eyes　of　hers。　They　are　so　weak
and　so　new；　that　I　must　ask　once　more　for　my　beds　here　to…night；　for　to
see　to…morrow　if　I　have　not　already　tried　them　too　much。　Now；　for　the
last　time　of　asking；　have　you　got　the　abominable　courage　in　you　to　tell
her　the　truth？〃

He　had　found　my　limit　at　last。　I　was　obliged　to　own　（heartily　as　I
disliked　doing　it）　that　there　was；　for　the　present；　no　choice　left　but
mercifully　to　conceal　the　truth。　Having　gone　this　length　I　next　attempted
to　consult　him　as　to　the　safest　manner　in　which　I　could　account　to
Lucilla　for　Oscar's　absence。　He　refused　（as　a　man）　to　recognize　the
slightest　necessity　for　giving　me　（as　a　woman）　any　advice　on　a　question
of　evasions　and　excuses。　〃I　have　not　lived　all　my　years　in　the　world；
without　learning　something；〃　he　said。　〃When　it　comes　to　walking　upon
eggshells　and　telling　fips；　the　womens　have　nothing　to　learn　from　the
mens。Will　you　take　a　little　stroll…walk　with　me　in　the　garden？　I　have
one　odder　thing　to　say　to　you：　and　I　am　hungry　and　thirsty　both
togedderfor　This。〃

He　produced　〃This；〃　in　the　form　of　his　pipe。　We　left　the　room　at　once　for
our　stroll　in　the　garden。

Having　solaced　himself　with　his　first　mouthful　of　tobacco…smoke；　he
startled　me　by　announcing　that　he　meant　to　remove　Lucilla　forthwith　from
Dimchurch　to　the　sea…side。　In　doing　this；　he　was　actuated　by　two
motivesfirst；　the　medical　motive　of　strengthening　her　constitution：
second；　the　personal　motive　of　preserving　her　from　making　painful
discoveries　by　placing　her　out　of　reach　of　the　gossip　of　the　rectory　and
the　village。　Grosse　had　the　lowest　opinion　of　Mr。　Finch　and　his
household。　His　dislike　and　distrust　of　the　rector；　in　particular；　knew　no
bounds：　he　characterized　the　Pope　of　Dimchurch　as　an　Ape　with　a　long
tongue；　and　a　man…and…monkey　capacity　for　doing　mischief。　Ramsgate　was
the　watering…place　which　he　had　fixed　on。　It　was　at　a　safe　distance　from
Dimchurch；　and　it　was　near　enough　to　London　to　enable　him　to　visit
Lucilla　frequently。　The　one　thing　needed　was　my　co…operation　in　the　new
plan。　If　I　was　at　liberty　to　take　charge　of　Lucilla；　he　would　speak　to
the　Ape　with　the　long　tongue；　and　we　might　start　for　Ramsgate　before　the
end　of　the　week。

Was　there　anything　to　prevent　me　from　carrying　out　the　arrangement
proposed？

There　was　nothing　to　prevent　me。　My　one　other　anxiety　apart　from
Lucillaanxiety　about　good　Papahad　now；　for　some　time；　been　happily
set　at　rest。　Letter　after　letter　from　my　sisters　in　France；　brought　me
always　the　same　cheering　news。　My　evergreen　parent　had　at　last　discovered
that　he　was　no　longer　in　the　first　bloom　of　his　youth。　He　had　resigned　to
his　juniors；　with　pathetic　expressions　of　regret；　the　making　of　love　and
the　fighting　of　duels。　Ravaged　by　past　passions；　this　dear　innocent　had
now　found　a　refuge　from　swords；　pistols；　and　the　sex；　in　collecting
butterflies　and　playing　on　the　guitar。　I　was　free　wholly　to　devote　myself
to　Lucilla；　and　I　honestly　rejoiced　in　the　prospect　before　me。　Alone　with
her；　and　away　from　the　rectory　（where　there　was　always　danger　off　gossip
reaching　her　ears）　I　could　rely　on　myself　to　protect　her　from　harm　in　the
present；　and　to　preserve　her　for　Oscar　in　the　future。　With　all　my　heart　I
agreed　to　the　arrangements　as　Grosse　proposed　them。　When　we　parted　in　the
garden；　he　went　round　to　the　rector's　side　of　the　house　to　announce　（in
his　medical　capacity）　the　decision　at　which　he　had　arrivedwhile　I；　on
my　side；　went　back　to　Lucilla　to　make　the　best　excuses　that　I　could
invent　for　Oscar；　and　to　prepare　her　for　our　speedy　removal　from
Dimchurch。



〃Gone；　without　coming　to　say　good…bye！　Gone；　without　even　writing　to　me！〃

There　was　the　first　impression　I　produced　on　her；　when　I　had　done　my　best
to　account　harmlessly　for　Oscar's　absence。　I　had；　as　I　thought；　taken　the
shortest　and　simplest　way　out　of　the　difficulty；　by　merely　inverting　the
truth。　In　other　words；　by　telling　her　that　Nugent　had　got　into　some
serious　embarrassment　abroad；　and　that　Oscar　had　been　called　away　at　a
moment's　notice；　to　follow　him　and　help　him。　It　was　in　vain　that　I
reminded　her　of　Oscar's　well…known　horror　of　leave…takings　of　all　kinds；
in　vain　that　I　represented　the　urgency　of　the　matter　as　leaving　him　no
alternative　but　to　confide　his　excuses　and　his　farewells　to　me；　in　vain
that　I　promised　for　him　that　he　would　write　to　her　at　the　first
opportunity。　She　listened；　without　conviction。　The　more　perseveringly　I
tried　to　account　for　it；　the　more　perseveringly　she　dwelt　on　Oscar's
unaccountable　disregard　of　her　claims　on　his　consideration　for　her。　As
for　our　journey　to　Ramsgate；　it　was　impossible　to　interest　her　in　the
subject。　I　gave　it　up　in　despair。

〃Surely　Oscar　has　left　some　address　at　which　I　can　write　to　him？〃　she
said。

I　could　only　answer　that　he　was　not　sure　enough　of　his　movements　to　be
able　to　do　that　before　he　went　away。

〃It　is　more　provoking　than　you　think；〃　she　went　on。　〃I　believe　Oscar　is
afraid　to　bring　his　unfortunate　brother　into　my　presence。　The　blue　face
startled　me　when　I　saw　it；　I　know。　But　I　have　quite　got　over　that。　I　feel
none　of　the　absurd　terror　of　the　poor　man　which　I　felt　when　I　was　blind。
Now　that　I　have　seen　for　myself　what　he　is　really　like；　I　can　feel　for
him。　I　wanted　to　tell　Oscar　thisI　wanted　to　say　that　he　might　bring　his
brother　to　live　with　us　if　he　likedI　wanted　to　prevent　（just　what　has
happened；）　his　going　away　from　_me_　when　he　wishes　to　see　his　brother。
You　are　using　me　very　hardly　among　you；　and　I　have　some　reason　to
complain　of　it。〃

While　she　was　talking　in　this　mortifying　manner；　I　felt　some　consolation
nevertheless。　Oscar's　disfigured　complexion　would　not　be　the　terrible
obstacle　in　the　way　of　his　restoration　to　Lucilla　that　I　had　feared。　All
the　comfort　which　this　reflection　could　give；　I　wanted　badly　enough。
There　was　no　open　hostility　towards　me　on　Lucilla's　partbut　there　was　a
coolness　which　I　found　more　distressing　to　bear　than　hostility　itself。　I
breakfasted　in　bed　the　next　morning；　and　only　rose　towards　noonjust　in
time　to　say　good…bye　to　Grosse　before　he　returned　to　London。

He　was　in　high　good　spirits　about　his　patient。　Her　eyes　were　the　better
instead　of　the　worse　for　the　exertion　to　which　he　had　subjected　them　on
the　previous　day。　The　bracing　air　of　Ramsgate　was　all　that　was　wanting　to
complete　the　success　of　the　operation。　Mr。　Finch　had　started　objections；
all　turning　on　the　question　of　expense。　But　with　a　daughter　who　was　her
own　mistress；　and　who　had　her　own　fortune；　his　objections　mattered
nothing。　By　the　next　day；　or　the　day　after　at　latest；　we　were　to　start
for　Ramsgate。　I　promised　to　write　to　our　good　surgeon　as　soon　as　we　were
established；　and　he　engaged　on　his　side；　to　visit　us　immediately　after。
〃Let　her　use　her　eyes　for　two　goot　hours　every　day；〃　said　Grosse；　at
parting。　〃She　may　do　what　she　likes　with　themexcept　that　she　must　not
peep　into　books；　or　take　up　pens；　till　I　come　to　you　at　Ramsgate。　It　is
most　wonderful…beautiful　to　see　how　those　new　eyes　of　hers　do　get　along。
When　I　next　meet　goot　Mr。　Sebrightshey！　how　I　shall　cock…crow　over　that
spick…span　respectable　man！〃

I　felt　a　little　nervous　as　to　how　the　day　would　passwhen　the　German
left　me　alone　with　Lucilla。

To　my　amazement；　she　not　only　met　me　with　the　needful　excuses　for　her
behavior　on　the　previous　day；　but　showed　herself　to　be　perfectly　resigned
to　the　temporary　loss　of　Oscar's　society。　It　was　she　（not　I）　who　remarked
that　he　could　not　have　chosen　a　better　time　for　being　away　from　her；　than
the　humiliating　time　when　she　was　learning　to　distinguish　between　round
and　square。　It　was　she　（not　I）　who　welcomed　the　little　journey　to
Ramsgate　as　a　pleasant　change　in　her　dull　life；　which　would　help　to
reconcile　her　to　Oscar's　absence。　In　brief；　if　she　had　actually　received
a　letter　from　Oscar；　relieving　her　of　all　anxiety　about　him；　her　words
and　looks　could　hardly　have　offered　a　completer　contrast　than　they　now
showed　to　her　words　and　looks　of　the　previous　day。


If　I　had　noticed　no　other　alteration　in　her　than　this　welcome　change　for
the　better；　my　record　of　the　day　would　have　ended　here；　as　the　record　of
unmixed　happiness。

But；　I　grieve　to　say；　I　have　something　unpleasant　to　add。　While　she　was
making　her　excuses　to　me；　and　speaking　in　the　sensible　and　satisfactory
terms　which　I　have　just　repeated；　I　noticed　a　curious　underlying
embarrassment　in　her　manner；　entirely　unlike　any　previous　embarrassment
which　had　ever　intruded　itself　between　us。　And；　stranger　still；　on　the
first　occasion　when　Zillah　came　into　the　room；　while　I　was　in　it；　I
observed　that　Lucilla's　embarrassment　was　reflected　（when　the　old　woman
spoke　to　me）　in　the　face　and　manner　of　Lucilla's　nurse。

But　one　conclusion　could　possibly　follow　from　what　I　saw：they　were　both
concealing　something　from　me；　and　they　were　both　more　or　less　ashamed　of
what　they　were　doing。

Somewherenot　very　far　back　in　these　pagesI　have　said　of　myself　that　I
am　not　by　nature　a　woman　who　is　easily　ready　to　suspect　others。　On　this
very　account；　when　I　find　suspicion　absolutely　forced　on　meas　it　was
nowI　am　apt　to　fly　into　the　opposite　extreme。　In　the　present　case；　I
fixed　on　the　person　to　suspectall　the　more　readil