lucile-第2章
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ALFRED。
You joke。
JOHN。
I am serious。 Why go to Luchon？
ALFRED。
Don't ask me。 I have not a choice； my dear John。 Besides； shall I own a strange sort of desire； Before I extinguish forever the fire Of youth and romance； in whose shadowy light Hope whisper'd her first fairy tales； to excite The last spark； till it rise； and fade far in that dawn Of my days where the twilights of life were first drawn By the rosy； reluctant auroras of Love； In short； from the dead Past the gravestone to move； Of the years long departed forever to take One last look； one final farewell； to awake The Heroic of youth from the Hades of joy； And once more be； though but for an hour； Jacka boy！
JOHN。
You had better go hang yourself。
ALFRED。
No！ were it but To make sure that the Past from the Future is shut； It were worth the step back。 Do you think we should live With the living so lightly； and learn to survive That wild moment in which to the grave and its gloom We consign'd our heart's best； if the doors of the tomb Were not lock'd with a key which Fate keeps for our sake？ If the dead could return or the corpses awake？
JOHN。
Nonsense！
ALFRED。
Not wholly。 The man who gets up A fill'd guest from the banquet； and drains off his cup； Sees the last lamp extinguish'd with cheerfulness； goes Well contented to bed； and enjoys its repose。 But he who hath supp'd at the tables of kings； And yet starved in the sight of luxurious things； Who hath watch'd the wine flow； by himself but half tasted； Heard the music； and yet miss'd the tune； who hath wasted One part of life's grand possibilities：friend； That man will bear with him； be sure； to the end； A blighted experience； a rancor within： You may call it a virtue； I call it a sin。
JOHN。
I see you remember the cynical story Of that wicked old piece Experiencea hoary Lothario； whom dying； the priest by his bed （Knowing well the unprincipled life he had led； And observing； with no small amount of surprise； Resignation and calm in the old sinner's eyes） Ask'd if he had nothing that weigh'd on his mind： 〃Well； 。 。 。 no；〃 。 。 。 says Lothario； 〃I think not。 I find； On reviewing my life； which in most things was pleasant； I never neglected； when once it was present； An occasion of pleasing myself。 On the whole； I have naught to regret；〃 。 。 。 and so； smiling； his soul Took its flight from this world。
ALFRED。
Well； Regret or Remorse； Which is best？
JOHN。
Why； Regret。
ALFRED。
No； Remorse； Jack； of course： For the one is related； be sure； to the other。 Regret is a spiteful old maid： but her brother； Remorse； though a widower certainly； yet HAS been wed to young Pleasure。 Dear Jack； hang Regret！
JOHN。
Bref！ you mean； then； to go？
ALFRED。
Bref！ I do。
JOHN。
One word 。 。 。 stay！ Are you really in love with Matilda？
ALFRED。
Love； eh？ What a question！ Of course。
JOHN。
WERE you really in love With Madame de Nevers？
ALFRED。
What； Lucile？ No； by Jove； Never REALLY。
JOHN。
She's pretty？
ALFRED。
Decidedly so。 At least； so she was； some ten summers ago。 As soft； and as sallow as Autumnwith hair Neither black； nor yet brown； but that tinge which the air Takes at eve in September； when night lingers lone Through a vineyard； from beams of a slow…setting sun。 Eyesthe wistful gazelle's； the fine foot of a fairy； And a hand fit a fay's wand to wave；white and airy； A voice soft and sweet as a tune that one knows。 Something in her there was； set you thinking of those Strange backgrounds of Raphael 。 。 。 that hectic and deep Brief twilight in which southern suns fall asleep。
JOHN。
Coquette？
ALFRED。
Not at all。 'Twas her one fault。 Not she！ I had loved her the better； had she less loved me。 The heart of a man's like that delicate weed Which requires to be trampled on； boldly indeed； Ere it give forth the fragrance you wish to extract。 'Tis a simile； trust me； if not new； exact。
JOHN。
Women change so。
ALFRED。
Of course。
JOHN。
And； unless rumor errs； I believe； that last year； the Comtesse de Nevers* Was at Baden the rageheld an absolute court Of devoted adorers； and really made sport Of her subjects。
* O Shakespeare！ how couldst thou ask 〃What's in a name？〃 'Tis the devil's in it； when a bard has to frame English rhymes for alliance with names that are French： And in these rhymes of mine； well I know that I trench All too far on that license which critics refuse； With just right； to accord to a well…brought…up Muse。 Yet； tho' faulty the union； in many a line； 'Twixt my British…born verse and my French heroine； Since； however auspiciously wedded they be； There is many a pair that yet cannot agree； Your forgiveness for this pair； the author invites； Whom necessity； not inclination； unites。
ALFRED。
Indeed！
JOHN。
When she broke off with you Her engagement； her heart did not break with it？
ALFRED。
Pooh！ Pray would you have had her dress always in black； And shut herself up in a convent； dear Jack？ Besides； 'twas my fault the engagement was broken。
JOHN。
Most likely。 How was it？
ALFRED。
The tale is soon spoken。 She bored me。 I show'd it。 She saw it。 What next？ She reproach'd。 I retorted。 Of course she was vex'd。 I was vex'd that she was so。 She sulk'd。 So did I。 If I ask'd her to sing； she look'd ready to cry。 I was contrite； submissive。 She soften'd。 I harden'd。 At noon I was banish'd。 At eve I was pardon'd。 She said I had no heart。 I said she had no reason。 I swore she talk'd nonsense。 She sobb'd I talk'd treason。 In short； my dear fellow； 'twas time； as you see； Things should come to a crisis； and finish。 'Twas she By whom to that crisis the matter was brought。 She released me。 I linger'd。 I linger'd； she thought； With too sullen an aspect。 This gave me； of course； The occasion to fly in a rage； mount my horse； And declare myself uncomprehended。 And so We parted。 The rest of the story you know。
JOHN。
No； indeed。
ALFRED。
Well； we parted。 Of course we could not Continue to meet； as before； in one spot。 You conceive it was awkward？ Even Don Ferdinando Can do； you remember； no more than he can do。 I think that I acted exceedingly well； Considering the time when this rupture befell； For Paris was charming just then。 It deranged All my plans for the winter。 I ask'd to be changed Wrote for Naples； then vacantobtain'd itand so Join'd my new post at once； but scarce reach'd it； when lo！ My first news from Paris informs me Lucile Is ill； and in danger。 Conceive what I feel。 I fly back。 I find her recover'd； but yet Looking pale。 I am seized with a contrite regret； I ask to renew the engagement。
JOHN。
And she？
ALFRED。
Reflects； but declines。 We part； swearing to be Friends ever； friends only。 All that sort of thing！ We each keep our letters 。 。 。 a portrait 。 。 。 a ring 。 。 。 With a pledge to return them whenever the one Or the other shall call for them back。
JOHN。
Pray go on。
ALFRED。
My story is finish'd。 Of course I enjoin On Lucile all those thousand good maxims we coin To supply the grim deficit found in our days； When love leaves them bankrupt。 I preach。 She obeys。 She goes out in the world； takes to dancing once more A pleasure she rarely indulged in before。 I go back to my post； and collect （I must own 'Tis a taste I had never before； my dear John） Antiques and small Elzevirs。 Heigho！ now； Jack； You know all。
JOHN （after a pause）。
You are really resolved to go。 back？
ALFRED。
Eh； where？
JOHN。
To that worst of all placesthe past。 You remember Lot's wife？
ALFRED。
'Twas a promise when last We parted。 My honor is pledged to it。
JOHN。
Well； What is it you wish me to do？
ALFRED。
You must tell Matilda； I meant to have call'dto leave word To explainbut the time was so pressing
JOHN。
My lord； Your lordship's obedient！ I really can't do 。 。 。
ALFRED。
You wish then to break off my marriage？
JOHN。
No； no！ But indeed I can't see why yourself you need take These letters。
ALFRED。
Not see？ would you have me； then； break A promise my honor is pledged to？
JOHN （humming）。
〃Off； off And away！ said the stranger〃 。 。 。
ALFRED。
Oh； good！ oh； you scoff！
JOHN。
At what； my dear Alfred？
ALFRED。
At all things！ JOHN。 Indeed？
ALFRED。
Yes； I see that your heart is as dry as a reed： That the dew of your youth is rubb'd off you： I see You have no feeling left in you； even for me！ At honor you jest； you are cold as a stone To the warm voice of friendship。 Belief you have none； You have lost faith in all things。 You carry a blight About with you everywhere。 Yes； at the sight Of such callous indifference； who could be calm？ I must leave you at once； Jack； or else the last balm That is left me in Gilead you'll turn into gall。 Heartless； cold； unconcern'd 。 。 。
JOHN。
Have you done？ Is that all？ Well； then； listen to me！ I presume when you made up your mind to propose to Miss Darcy； you weigh'd All the drawbacks against the equivalent gains； Ere you finally settled the point。 What remains But to stick to your choice？ You want money： 'tis here。 A settled position： 'tis yours。 A career： You secure it。 A wife； young； and pretty as rich； Whom all men will envy you。 Why must you itch To be running away； on the eve of all this； To a woman whom never for once did you miss All these years since you left her？ Who knows what may hap？ This letterto MEis a palpable trap。 The woman has changed since you knew her。 Perchance She yet seeks to renew her youth's broken romance。 When women begin to feel youth and their beauty Slip from them； they count it a sort of a duty To let nothing else slip away unsecured Which these； while they lasted； might once have procured。 Lucile's a coquette to the end of her fingers； I will stake my last farthing。 Perhaps the wish lingers To recall the once reckless； indifferent lover To the feet he has left； let intrigue now recover What truth could not keep。 'Twere a vengeance； no doubt A triumph；but why must YOU bring it about？ You are risking the substance of all that you schemed To obtain； and for what？ some mad dream you have dream'd。
ALFRED。
But there's nothing to risk。 You exaggerate； Jack； You mistake。 In three days； at the most； I am back。
JOHN。
Ay； but how？ 。 。 。 dis
