a modest proposal(一个小小的建议)-第2章
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disagreeable； and to fatten them would not answer the charge。 Then as to
the females； it would； I think； with humble submission； be a loss to the
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publick； because they soon would become breeders themselves： And
besides； it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to
censure such a practice； （although indeed very unjustly） as a little
bordering upon cruelty； which； I confess； hath always been with me the
strongest objection against any project； how well soever intended。
But in order to justify my friend； he confessed； that this expedient was
put into his head by the famous Salmanaazor； a native of the island
Formosa； who came from thence to London； above twenty years ago； and
in conversation told my friend； that in his country； when any young person
happened to be put to death； the executioner sold the carcass to persons of
quality； as a prime dainty； and that； in his time； the body of a plump girl of
fifteen； who was crucified for an attempt to poison the Emperor； was sold
to his imperial majesty's prime minister of state； and other great mandarins
of the court in joints from the gibbet； at four hundred crowns。 Neither
indeed can I deny； that if the same use were made of several plump young
girls in this town； who without one single groat to their fortunes； cannot
stir abroad without a chair； and appear at a play…house and assemblies in
foreign fineries which they never will pay for； the kingdom would not be
the worse。
Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that
vast number of poor people； who are aged； diseased； or maimed； and I
have been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken； to
ease the nation of so grievous an incumbrance。 But I am not in the least
pain upon that matter； because it is very well known； that they are every
day dying； and rotting； by cold and famine； and filth； and vermin； as fast
as can be reasonably expected。 And as to the young labourers； they are
now in almost as hopeful a condition。 They cannot get work； and
consequently pine away from want of nourishment； to a degree； that if at
any time they are accidentally hired to common labour； they have not
strength to perform it； and thus the country and themselves are happily
delivered from the evils to come。
I have too long digressed； and therefore shall return to my subject。 I
think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and
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many； as well as of the highest importance。
For first； as I have already observed； it would greatly lessen the
number of Papists； with whom we are yearly over…run； being the principal
breeders of the nation； as well as our most dangerous enemies； and who
stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the
Pretender； hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good
Protestants； who have chosen rather to leave their country； than stay at
home and pay tithes against their conscience to an episcopal curate。
Secondly； The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their
own； which by law may be made liable to a distress； and help to pay their
landlord's rent； their corn and cattle being already seized； and money a
thing unknown。
Thirdly； Whereas the maintainance of an hundred thousand children；
from two years old； and upwards； cannot be computed at less than ten
shillings a piece per annum； the nation's stock will be thereby encreased
fifty thousand pounds per annum； besides the profit of a new dish；
introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom； who
have any refinement in taste。 And the money will circulate among our
selves； the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture。
Fourthly； The constant breeders； besides the gain of eight shillings
sterling per annum by the sale of their children； will be rid of the charge of
maintaining them after the first year。
Fifthly； This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns； where
the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for
dressing it to perfection； and consequently have their houses frequented by
all the fine gentlemen； who justly value themselves upon their knowledge
in good eating； and a skilful cook； who understands how to oblige his
guests； will contrive to make it as expensive as they please。
Sixthly； This would be a great inducement to marriage； which all wise
nations have either encouraged by rewards； or enforced by laws and
penalties。 It would encrease the care and tenderness of mothers towards
their children； when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor
babes； provided in some sort by the publick； to their annual profit instead
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of expence。 We should soon see an honest emulation among the married
women； which of them could bring the fattest child to the market。 Men
would become as fond of their wives； during the time of their pregnancy；
as they are now of their mares in foal； their cows in calf； or sow when they
are ready to farrow； nor offer to beat or kick them （as is too frequent a
practice） for fear of a miscarriage。
Many other advantages might be enumerated。 For instance； the
addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrel'd beef：
the propagation of swine's flesh； and improvement in the art of making
good bacon； so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs；
too frequent at our tables； which are no way comparable in taste or
magnificence to a well grown； fat yearly child； which roasted whole will
make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast； or any other publick
entertainment。 But this； and many others； I omit； being studious of brevity。
Supposing that one thousand families in this city； would be constant
customers for infants flesh； besides others who might have it at merry
meetings； particularly at weddings and christenings； I compute that Dublin
would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses； and the rest of
the kingdom （where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper） the
remaining eighty thousand。
I can think of no one objection； that will possibly be raised against this
proposal； unless it should be urged； that the number of people will be
thereby much lessened in the kingdom。 This I freely own； and 'twas indeed
one principal design in offering it to the world。 I desire the reader will
observe； that I calculate my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of
Ireland； and for no other that ever was； is； or； I think； ever can be upon
Earth。 Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients： Of taxing our
absentees at five shillings a pound： Of using neither cloaths； nor houshold
furniture； except what is of our own growth and manufacture： Of utterly
rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury： Of
curing the expensiveness of pride； vanity； idleness； and gaming in our
women： Of introducing a vein of parsimony； prudence and temperance： Of
learning to love our country； wherein we differ even from Laplanders； and
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the inhabitants of Topinamboo： Of quitting our animosities and factions；
nor acting any longer like the Jews； who were murdering one another at
the very moment their city was taken： Of being a little cautious not to sell
our country and consciences for nothing： Of teaching landlords to have at
least one degree of mercy towards their tenants。 Lastly； of putting a spirit
of honesty； industry； and skill into our shop…keepers； who； if a resolution
could now be taken to buy only our native goods； would immediately
unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price； the measure； and the
goodness； nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just
dealing； though often and earnestly invited to it。
Therefore I repeat； let no man talk to me of these and the like
expedients； 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope； that there will ever
be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice。
But； as to my self； having been wearied out for many years with
offering vain； idle； visionary thoughts； and at length utterly despairing of
success； I fortunately fell upon this proposal； which； as it is wholly new； so
it hath something solid and real； of no expence and little trouble； full in
our own power； and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging
England。 For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation； and flesh
being of too tender a consistence； to admit a long continuance in salt；
although perhaps I could name a country； which would be glad to eat up
our whole nation without it。
After all； I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion； as to reject
any offer； proposed by wise men； which shall be found equally innocent；
cheap； easy； and effectual。 But before something of that kind shall be
advanced in contradiction to my scheme； and offering a better； I desire the
author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points。 First； As
things now stand； how they will be able to find food and raiment for a
hundred thousand useless mouths and backs。 And secondly； There being a
round million of creatures in humane figure throughout this kingdom；
whose whol
