lizzie leigh-第6章

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stiff；　powerless　form。　　There　was　no　other　bed　in　the　house　but　the

one　in　which　her　father　slept。　　So　she　tenderly　lifted　the　body　of

her　darling；　and　was　going　to　take　it　downstairs；　but　the　mother

opened　her　eyes；　and　seeing　what　she　was　about；　she　said〃I　am　not

worthy　to　touch　her；　I　am　so　wicked。　　I　have　spoken　to　you　as　I　never

should　have　spoken；　but　I　think　you　are　very　good。　　May　I　have　my　own

child　to　lie　in　my　arms　for　a　little　while？〃



Her　voice　was　so　strange　a　contrast　to　what　it　had　been　before　she

had　gone　into　the　fit；　that　Susan　hardly　recognised　it：　　it　was　now

so　unspeakably　soft；　so　irresistibly　pleading；　the　features　too　had

lost　their　fierce　expression；　and　were　almost　as　placid　as　death。

Susan　could　not　speak；　but　she　carried　the　little　child；　and　laid　it

in　its　mother's　arms；　then；　as　she　looked　at　them；　something

overpowered　her；　and　she　knelt　down；　crying　aloud〃Oh；　my　God；　my

God；　have　mercy　on　her；　and　forgive　and　comfort　her。〃



But　the　mother　kept　smiling；　and　stroking　the　little　face；　murmuring

soft；　tender　words；　as　if　it　were　alive。　　She　was　going　mad；　Susan

thought；　but　she　prayed　on；　and　on；　and　ever　still　she　prayed　with

streaming　eyes。



The　doctor　came　with　the　draught。　　The　mother　took　it；　with　docile

unconsciousness　of　its　nature　as　medicine。　　The　doctor　sat　by　her；

and　soon　she　fell　asleep。　　Then　he　rose　softly；　and　beckoning　Susan

to　the　door；　he　spoke　to　her　there。



〃You　must　take　the　corpse　out　of　her　arms。　　She　will　not　awake。　　That

draught　will　make　her　sleep　for　many　hours。　　I　will　call　before　noon

again。　　It　is　now　daylight。　　Good…by。〃



Susan　shut　him　out；　and　then；　gently　extricating　the　dead　child　from

its　mother's　arms；　she　could　not　resist　making　her　own　quiet　moan

over　her　darling。　　She　tried　to　learn　off　its　little　placid　face；

dumb　and　pale　before　her。





Not　all　the　scalding　tears　of　care

Shall　wash　away　that　vision　fair；

Not　all　the　thousand　thoughts　that　rise；

Not　all　the　sights　that　dim　her　eyes；

Shall　e'er　usurp　the　place

Of　that　little　angel…face。





And　then　she　remembered　what　remained　to　be　done。　　She　saw　that　all

was　right　in　the　house；　her　father　was　still　dead　asleep　on　the

settle；　in　spite　of　all　the　noise　of　the　night。　　She　went　out　through

the　quiet　streets；　deserted　still；　although　it　was　broad　daylight；

and　to　where　the　Leighs　lived。　　Mrs。　Leigh；　who　kept　her　country

hours；　was　opening　her　window…shutters。　　Susan　took　her　by　the　arm；

and；　without　speaking；　went　into　the　house…place。　　There　she　knelt

down　before　the　astonished　Mrs。　Leigh；　and　cried　as　she　had　never

done　before；　but　the　miserable　night　had　overpowered　her；　and　she　who

had　gone　through　so　much　calmly；　now　that　the　pressure　seemed　removed

could　not　find　the　power　to　speak。



〃My　poor　dear！　　What　has　made　thy　heart　so　sore　as　to　come　and　cry　a…

this…ons？　　Speak　and　tell　me。　　Nay；　cry　on；　poor　wench；　if　thou　canst

not　speak　yet。　　It　will　ease　the　heart；　and　then　thou　canst　tell　me。〃



〃Nanny　is　dead！〃　said　Susan。　　〃I　left　her　to　go　to　father；　and　she

fell　downstairs；　and　never　breathed　again。　　Oh；　that's　my　sorrow！

But　I've　more　to　tell。　　Her　mother　is　comeis　in　our　house！　　Come

and　see　if　it's　your　Lizzie。〃



Mrs。　Leigh　could　not　speak；　but；　trembling；　put　on　her　things　and

went　with　Susan　in　dizzy　haste　back　to　Crown　Street。







CHAPTER　IV。







As　they　entered　the　house　in　Crown　Street；　they　perceived　that　the

door　would　not　open　freely　on　its　hinges；　and　Susan　instinctively

looked　behind　to　see　the　cause　of　the　obstruction。　　She　immediately

recognised　the　appearance　of　a　little　parcel；　wrapped　in　a　scrap　of

newspaper；　and　evidently　containing　money。　　She　stooped　and　picked　it

up。　　〃Look！〃　said　she；　sorrowfully；　〃the　mother　was　bringing　this　for

her　child　last　night。〃



But　Mrs。　Leigh　did　not　answer。　　So　near　to　the　ascertaining　if　it

were　her　lost　child　or　no；　she　could　not　be　arrested；　but　pressed

onwards　with　trembling　steps　and　a　beating；　fluttering　heart。　　She

entered　the　bedroom；　dark　and　still。　　She　took　no　heed　of　the　little

corpse　over　which　Susan　paused；　but　she　went　straight　to　the　bed；

and；　withdrawing　the　curtain；　saw　Lizzie；　but　not　the　former　Lizzie；

bright；　gay；　buoyant；　and　undimmed。　　This　Lizzie　was　old　before　her

time；　her　beauty　was　gone；　deep　lines　of　care；　and；　alas！　of　want　（or

thus　the　mother　imagined）　were　printed　on　the　cheek；　so　round；　and

fair；　and　smooth；　when　last　she　gladdened　her　mother's　eyes。　　Even　in

her　sleep　she　bore　the　look　of　woe　and　despair　which　was　the

prevalent　expression　of　her　face　by　day；　even　in　her　sleep　she　had

forgotten　how　to　smile。　　But　all　these　marks　of　the　sin　and　sorrow

she　had　passed　through　only　made　her　mother　love　her　the　more。　　She

stood　looking　at　her　with　greedy　eyes；　which　seemed　as　though　no

gazing　could　satisfy　their　longing；　and　at　last　she　stooped　down　and

kissed　the　pale；　worn　hand　that　lay　outside　the　bedclothes。　　No　touch

disturbed　the　sleeper；　the　mother　need　not　have　laid　the　hand　so

gently　down　upon　the　counterpane。　　There　was　no　sign　of　life；　save

only　now　and　then　a　deep　sob…like　sigh。　　Mrs。　Leigh　sat　down　beside

the　bed；　and　still　holding　back　the　curtain；　looked　on　and　on；　as　if

she　could　never　be　satisfied。



Susan　would　fain　have　stayed　by　her　darling　one；　but　she　had　many

calls　upon　her　time　and　thoughts；　and　her　will　had　now；　as　ever；　to

be　given　up　to　that　of　others。　　All　seemed　to　devolve　the　burden　of

their　cares　on　her。　　Her　father；　ill…humoured　from　his　last　night's

intemperance；　did　not　scruple　to　reproach　her　with　being　the　cause　of

little　Nanny's　death；　and　when；　after　bearing　his　upbraiding　meekly

for　some　time；　she　could　no　longer　restrain　herself；　but　began　to

cry；　he　wounded　her　even　more　by　his　injudicious　attempts　at　comfort；

for　he　said　it　was　as　well　the　child　was　dead；　it　was　none　of　theirs；

and　why　should　they　be　troubled　with　it？　　Susan　wrung　her　hands　at

this；　and　came　and　stood　before　her　father；　and　implored　him　to

forbear。　　Then　she　had　to　take　all　requisite　steps　for　the　coroner's

inquest；　she　had　to　arrange　for　the　dismissal　of　her　school；　she　had

to　summons　a　little　neighbour；　and　send　his　willing　feet　on　a　message

to　William　Leigh；　who；　she　felt；　ought　to　be　informed　of　his　mother's

whereabouts；　and　of　the　whole　state　of　affairs。　　She　asked　her

messenger　to　tell　him　to　come　and　speak　to　her；　that　his　mother　was

at　her　house。　　She　was　thankful　that　her　father　sauntered　out　to　have

a　gossip　at　the　nearest　coach…stand；　and　to　relate　as　many　of　the

night's　adventures　as　he　knew；　for　as　yet　he　was　in　ignorance　of　the

watcher　and　the　watched；　who　silently　passed　away　the　hours　upstairs。



At　dinner…time　Will　came。　　He　looked　red；　glad；　impatient；　excited。

Susan　stood　calm　and　white　before　him；　her　soft；　loving　eyes　gazing

straight　into　his。



〃Will；〃　said　she；　in　a　low；　quiet　voice；　〃your　sister　is　upstairs。〃



〃My　sister！〃　said　he；　as　if　affrighted　at　the　idea；　and　losing　his

glad　look　in　one　of　gloom。　　Susan　saw　it；　and　her　heart　sank　a

little；　but　she　went　on　as　calm　to　all　appearance　as　ever。



〃She　was　little　Nanny's　mother；　as　perhaps　you　know。　　Poor　little

Nanny　was　killed　last　night　by　a　fall　downstairs。〃　　All　the　calmness

was　gone；　all　the　suppressed　feeling　was　displayed　in　spite　of　every

effort。　　She　sat　down；　and　hid　her　face　from　him；　and　cried　bitterly。

He　forgot　everything　but　the　wish；　the　longing　to　comfort　her。　　He

put　his　arm　round　her　waist；　and　bent　over　her。　　But　all　he　could

say；　was；　〃Oh；　Susan；　how　can　I　comfort　you？　　Don't　take　on　sopray

don't！〃　　He　never　changed　the　words；　but　the　tone　varied　every　time

he　spoke。　　At　last　she　seemed　to　regain　her　power　over　herself；　and

she　wiped　her　eyes；　and　once　more　looked　upon　him　with　her　own　quiet；

earnest；　unfearing　gaze。



〃Your　sister　was　near　the　house。　　She　came　in　on　hearing　my　words　to

the　doctor。　　She　is　asleep　now；　and　your　mother　is　watching　her。　　I

wanted　to　tell　you　all　myself。　　Would　you　like　to　see　your　mother？〃



〃No！〃　said　he。　　〃I　would　rather　see　none　but　thee。　　Mother　told　me

thou　knew'st　all。〃　　His　eyes　were　downcast　in　their　shame。



But　the　holy　and　pure　did　not　lower　or　veil　her　eyes。



She　said；　〃Yes；　I　know　allall　but　her　sufferings。　　Think　what　they

must　have　been！〃



He　made　answer；　low　and　stern；　〃She　deserved　them　all；　every　jot。〃



〃In　the　eye　of　God；　perhaps　she　does。　　He　is　the　Judge；　we　are　not。〃



〃Oh！〃　she　said；　with　a　sudden　burst；　〃Will　Leigh！　　I　have　thought　so

well　of　you；　don't　go　and　make　me　think　you　cruel　and　hard。　　Goodness

is　not　goodness　unless　there　is　mercy　and　tenderness　with　it。　　There

is　your　mother；　who　has　been　nearly　heart…broken；　now　full　of

rejoicing　over　her　child。　　Think　of　your　mother。〃



〃I　do　think　of　her；〃　said　he。　　〃I　remember　the　promise　I　gave　her

last　night。　　Thou　shouldst　give　me　time。　　I　would　do　right　in　time。

I　never　think　it　o'er　in　quiet。　　But　I　will　do　what　is　right　and

fitting；　never　fear。　　Thou　hast　spoken　out　very　plain　to　me；　and

misdoubted　me；　Susan；　I　love　thee　so；　that　thy　words　cut　me。　　If　I

did　hang　back　a　bit　from　making　sudden　promises；　it　was　because　not

even　for　love　of　thee；　would　I　say　what　I　was　not　feeling；　and　at

first　I　could　not　feel　all　at　once　as　thou　wouldst　have　me。　　But　I'm

not　cruel　and　hard；　for　if　I　had　been；　I　should　na'　have　grieved　as　I

have　done。〃



He　made　as　if　he　were　going　away；　and　indeed　he　did　feel　he　would

rather　think　it　over　in　quiet。　　But　Susan；　grieved　at　her　incautious

words；　which　had　all　the　appearance　of　harshness；　went　a　step　or　two

nearerpausedand　then；　all　over　blushes；　said　in　a　low；　soft

whisper　…



〃Oh；　Will！　　I　beg　your　pardon。　　I　am　very　sorry。　　Won't　you　forgive

me？〃



She　who　had　always　drawn　back；　and　been　so　reserved；　said　this　in　the

very　softest　manner；　with　eyes　now　uplifted　beseechingly；　now　dropped

to　the　ground。　　Her　sweet　confusion　told　more　than　words　could　do；

and　Will　turned　back；　all　joyous　in　his　certainty　of　being　beloved；

and　took　her　in　his　arms；　and　kissed　her。



〃My　own　Susan！〃　he　said。



Meanwhile　the　mother　watched　her　child　in　the　room　above。



It　was　late　in　the　afternoon　before　she　awoke；　for　the　sleeping

draught　had　been　very　powerful。　　The　instant　she　awoke；　her　eyes　were

fixed　on　her　mother's　face　with　a　gaze　as　unflinching　as　if　she　were

fascinated。　　Mrs。　Leigh　did　not　turn　away；　nor　move；　for　it　seemed　as

if　motion　would　unlock　the　stony　command　over　herself　which；　while　so

perfectly　still；　she　was　enabled　to　preserve。　　But　by…and…by　Lizzie

cried　out；　in　a　piercing　voice　of　agony　…



〃Mother；　don't　look　at　me！　　I　have　been　so　wicked！〃　and　instantly　she

hid　her　face；　and　grovelled　among　the　bed…clothes；　and　lay　like　one

dead；　so　motionless　was　she。



Mrs。　Leigh　knelt　down　by　the　bed；　and