those extraordinary twins-第2章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


climateyou　wouldn't　expect　it。〃


＇And　so…on　and　so…on；　no　end。　　The　time　drags　along；　Thursday　comes：　the
boat　arrives　in　a　pouring　storm　toward　midnight。＇


At　last　there　was　a　knock　at　the　door　and　the　anxious　family　jumped　to
open　it。　　Two　negro　men　entered；　each　carrying　a　trunk；　and　proceeded
upstairs　toward　the　guest…room。　　Then　followed　a　stupefying　apparition
a　double…headed　human　creature　with　four　arms；　one　body；　and　a　single
pair　of　legs！　　Itor　they；　as　you　pleasebowed　with　elaborate　foreign
formality；　but　the　Coopers　could　not　respond　immediately；　they　were
paralyzed。　　At　this　moment　there　came　from　the　rear　of　the　group　a
fervent　ejaculation〃My　lan'！〃followed　by　a　crash　of　crockery；　and　the
slave…wench　Nancy　stood　petrified　and　staring；　with　a　tray　of　wrecked
tea…things　at　her　feet。　　The　incident　broke　the　spell；　and　brought　the
family　to　consciousness。　　The　beautiful　heads　of　the　new…comer　bowed
again；　and　one　of　them　said　with　easy　grace　and　dignity：

〃I　crave　the　honor；　madam　and　miss；　to　introduce　to　you　my　brother；　Count
Luigi　Capello；〃　（the　other　head　bowed）　〃and　myselfCount　Angelo；　and　at
the　same　time　offer　sincere　apologies　for　the　lateness　of　our　coming；
which　was　unavoidable；〃　and　both　heads　bowed　again。

The　poor　old　lady　was　in　a　whirl　of　amazement　and　confusion；　but　she
managed　to　stammer　out：

〃I'm　sure　I'm　glad　to　make　your　acquaintance；　sirI　mean；　gentlemen。
As　for　the　delay；　it　is　nothing；　don't　mention　it。　　This　is　my　daughter
Rowena；　sirgentlemen。　　Please　step　into　the　parlor　and　sit　down　and
have　a　bite　and　sup；　you　are　dreadful　wet　and　must　be　uncomfortable
both　of　you；　I　mean。〃

But　to　the　old　lady's　relief　they　courteously　excused　themselves；　saying
it　would　be　wrong　to　keep　the　family　out　of　their　beds　longer；　then　each
head　bowed　in　turn　and　uttered　a　friendly　good　night；　and　the　singular
figure　moved　away　in　the　wake　of　Rowena's　small　brothers；　who　bore
candles；　and　disappeared　up　the　stairs。

The　widow　tottered　into　the　parlor　and　sank　into　a　chair　with　a　gasp；
and　Rowena　followed；　tongue…tied　and　dazed。　　The　two　sat　silent　in　the
throbbing　summer　heat　unconscious　of　the　million…voiced　music　of　the
mosquitoes；　unconscious　of　the　roaring　gale；　the　lashing　and　thrashing　of
the　rain　along　the　windows　and　the　roof；　the　white　glare　of　the
lightning；　the　tumultuous　booming　and　bellowing　of　the　thunder；　conscious
of　nothing　but　that　prodigy；　that　uncanny　apparition　that　had　come　and
gone　so　suddenlythat　weird　strange　thing　that　was　so　soft…spoken　and　so
gentle　of　manner　and　yet　had　shaken　them　up　like　an　earthquake　with　the
shock　of　its　gruesome　aspect。　　At　last　a　cold　little　shudder　quivered
along　down　the　widow's　meager　frame　and　she　said　in　a　weak　voice：

〃Ugh；　it　was　awful　just　the　mere　look　of　that　phillipene！〃

Rowena　did　not　answer。　　Her　faculties　were　still　caked；　she　had　not　yet
found　her　voice。　　Presently　the　widow　said；　a　little　resentfully：

〃Always　been　used　to　sleeping　togetherin…fact；　prefer　it。　　And　I　was
thinking　it　was　to　accommodate　me。　　I　thought　it　was　very　good　of　them；
whereas　a　person　situated　as　that　young　man　is〃

〃Ma；　you　oughtn't　to　begin　by　getting　up　a　prejudice　against　him。
I'm　sure　he　is　good…hearted　and　means　well。　　Both　of　his　faces　show　it。〃

〃I'm　not　so　certain　about　that。　　The　one　on　the　leftI　mean　the　one　on
it's　lefthasn't　near　as　good　a　face；　in　my　opinion；　as　its　brother。〃

〃That's　Luigi。〃

〃Yes；　Luigi；　anyway　it's　the　dark…skinned　one；　the　one　that　was　west　of
his　brother　when　they　stood　in　the　door。　　Up　to　all　kinds　of　mischief　and
disobedience　when　he　was　a　boy；　I'll　be　bound。　　I　lay　his　mother　had
trouble　to　lay　her　hand　on　him　when　she　wanted　him。　　But　the　one　on　the
right　is　as　good　as　gold；　I　can　see　that。〃

〃That's　Angelo。〃

〃Yes；　Angelo；　I　reckon；　though　I　can't　tell　t'other　from　which　by　their
names；　yet　awhile。　　But　it's　the　right…hand　onethe　blond　one。　　He　has
such　kind　blue　eyes；　and　curly　copper　hair　and　fresh　complexion〃

〃And　such　a　noble　face！oh；　it　is　a　noble　face；　ma；　just　royal；　you　may
say！　　And　beautiful　deary　me；　how　beautiful！　　But　both　are　that；　the　dark
one's　as　beautiful　asa　picture。　　There's　no　such　wonderful　faces　and
handsome　heads　in　this　town　none　that　even　begin。　　And　such　hands；
especially　Angelo'sso　shapely　and〃

〃Stuff；　how　could　you　tell　which　they　belonged　to？they　had　gloves　on。〃

〃Why；　didn't　I　see　them　take　off　their　hats？〃

〃That　don't　signify。　　They　might　have　taken　off　each　other's　hats。
Nobody　could　tell。　　There　was　just　a　wormy　squirming　of　arms　in　the　air
seemed　to　be　a　couple　of　dozen　of　them；　all　writhing　at　once；　and　it
just　made　me　dizzy　to　see　them　go。〃

〃Why；　ma；　I　hadn't　any　difficulty。　　There's　two　arms　on　each　shoulder〃

〃There；　now。　　One　arm　on　each　shoulder　belongs　to　each　of　the　creatures；
don't　it？　　For　a　person　to　have　two　arms　on　one　shoulder　wouldn't　do　him
any　good；　would　it？　　Of　course　not。　　Each　has　an　arm　on　each　shoulder。
Now　then；　you　tell　me　which　of　them　belongs　to　which；　if　you　can。　　They
don't　know；　themselvesthey　just　work　whichever　arm　comes　handy。　　Of
course　they　do；　especially　if　they　are　in　a　hurry　and　can't　stop　to　think
which　belongs　to　which。〃

The　mother　seemed　to　have　the　rights　of　the　argument；　so　the　daughter
abandoned　the　struggle。　　Presently　the　widow　rose　with　a　yawn　and　said：

〃Poor　thing；　I　hope　it　won't　catch　cold；　it　was　powerful　wet；　just
drenched；　you　may　say。　　I　hope　it　has　left　its　boots　outside；　so　they　can
be　dried。〃

Then　she　gave　a　little　start；　and　looked　perplexed。

〃Now　I　remember　I　heard　one　of　them　ask　Joe　to　call　him　at　half　after
sevenI　think　it　was　the　one　on　the　leftno；　it　was　the　one　to　the　east
of　the　other　onebut　I　didn't　hear　the　other　one　say　any　thing。　　I
wonder　if　he　wants　to　be　called　too。　　Do　you　reckon　it's　too　late　to
ask？〃

〃Why；　ma；　it's　not　necessary。　　Calling　one　is　calling　both。　　If　one　gets
up；　the　other's　got　to。〃

〃Sho；　of　course；　I　never　thought　of　that。　　Well；　come　along；　maybe　we　can
get　some　sleep；　but　I　don't　know；　I'm　so　shook　up　with　what　we've　been
through。〃

The　stranger　had　made　an　impression　on　the　boys；　too。　　They　had　a　word　of
talk　as　they　were　getting　to　bed。　　Henry；　the　gentle；　the　humane；　said：

〃I　feel　ever　so　sorry　for　it；　don't　you；　Joe？〃

But　Joe　was　a　boy　of　this　world；　active；　enterprising；　and　had　a
theatrical　side　to　him：

〃Sorry？　　Why；　how　you　talk！　　It　can't　stir　a　step　without　attracting
attention。　　It's　just　grand！〃

Henry　said；；　reproachfully：

〃Instead　of　pitying　it；　Joe；　you　talk　as　if〃

〃Talk　as　if　what？　　I　know　one　thing　mighty　certain：　if　you　can　fix　me　so
I　can　eat　for　two　and　only　have　to　stub　toes　for　one；　I　ain't　going　to
fool　away　no　such　chance　just　for　sentiment。〃

The　twins　were　wet　and　tired；　and　they　proceeded　to　undress　without…any
preliminary　remarks。　　The　abundance　of　sleeve　made　the　partnership　coat
hard　to　get　off；　for　it　was　like　skinning　a　tarantula；　but　it　came　at
last；　after　much　tugging　and　perspiring。　　The　mutual　vest　followed。　　Then
the　brothers　stood　up　before　the　glass；　and　each　took　off　his　own　cravat
and　collar。　　The　collars　were　of　the　standing　kind；　and　came　high　up
under　the　ears；　like　the　sides　of　a　wheelbarrow；　as　required　by　the
fashion　of　the　day。　　The　cravats　were　as　broad　as　a　bank…bill；　with
fringed　ends　which　stood　far　out　to　right　and　left　like　the　wings　of　a
dragon…fly；　and　this　also　was　strictly　in　accordance　with　the　fashion　of
the　time。　　Each　cravat；　as　to　color；　was　in　perfect　taste；　so　far　as　its
owner's　complexion　was　concerneda　delicate　pink；　in　the　case　of　the
blond　brother；　a　violent　scarlet　in　the　case　of　the　brunettebut　as　a
combination　they　broke　all　the　laws　of　taste　known　to　civilization。
Nothing　more　fiendish　and　irreconcilable　than　those　shrieking　and
blaspheming　colors　could　have　been　contrived；　The　wet　boots　gave　no　end
of　troubleto　Luigi。　　When　they　were　off　at　last；　Angelo　said；　with
bitterness：

〃I　wish　you　wouldn't　wear　such　tight　boots；　they　hurt　my　feet。〃

Luigi　answered　with　indifference：

〃My　friend；　when　I　am　in　command　of　our　body；　I　choose　my　apparel
according　to　my　own　convenience；　as　I　have　remarked　more　than　several
times　already。　　When　you　are　in　command；　I　beg　you　will　do　as　you
please。〃

Angelo　was　hurt；　and　the　tears　came　into　his　eyes。　　There　was　gentle
reproach　in　his　voice；　but；　not　anger；　when　he　replied：

〃Luigi；　I　often　consult　your　wishes；　but　you　never　consult　mine。　　When　I
am　in　command　I　treat　you　as　a　guest；　I　try　to　make　you　feel　at　home；
when　you　are　in　command　you　treat　me　as　an　intruder；　you　make　me　feel
unwelcome。　　It　embarrasses　me　cruelly　in　company；　for　I　can；　see　that
people　notice　it　and　comment　on　it。〃

〃Oh；　damn　the　people；〃　responded　the　brother　languidly；　and　with　the　air
of　one　who　is　tired　of　the　subject。

A　slight　shudder　shook　the　frame　of　Angelo；　but　he　said　nothing　and　the
conversation　ceased。　　Each　buttoned　his　own　share　of　the　nightshirt　in
silence；　then　Luigi；　with　Paine's　Age　of　Reason　in　his　hand；　sat　down　in
one　chair　and　put　his　feet　in　another　and　lit　his　pipe；　while　Angelo　took
his　Whole　Duty　of　Man；　and　both　began　to　read。　　Angelo　presently　began　to
cough；　his　coughing　increased　and　became　mixed　with　gaspings　for　breath；
and　he　was　finally　obliged　to　make　an　appeal　to　his　brother's　humanity：

〃Luigi；　if　you　would　only　smoke　a　little　milder　tobacco；　I　am　sure　I
could　learn　not　to　mind　it　in　time；　but　this　is　so　strong；　and　the　pipe
is　so　rank　that〃

〃Angelo；　I　wouldn't　be　such　a　baby！　　I　have　learned　to　smoke　in　a　week；
and　the　trouble　is　already　over　with　me；　if　you　would　try；　you　could
learn　too；　and　then　you　would　stop　spoiling　my　comfort　with　your
everlasting　complaints。〃

〃Ah；　brother；　that　is　a　strong　wordeverlasting　and　isn't　quite　fair。
I　only　complain　when　I　suffocate；　you　know　I　don't　complain　when　we　are
in　the　open　air。〃

〃Well；　anyway；　you　could　learn　to　smoke　yourself。〃

〃But　my　principles；　Luigi；　you　forget　my　principles。　　You　would　not　have
me　do　a　thing　which　I　regard　as　a　sin？〃

〃Oh；　bosh！〃

The　conversation　ceased　again；　for　Angelo　was　sick　and　discouraged　and
strangling；　but　after　some　time　he　closed　his　book　and　asked　Luigi　to
sing　〃From　Greenland's　Icy　Mountains〃　with　him；　but　he　would　not；　and
when　he　tried　to　sing　by　himself　Luigi　did　his　best　to　drown　his
plaintive　tenor　with　a　rude　and　rollicking　song　delivered　in　a　thundering
bass。

After　the　singing　there　was　silence；　and　neither　brother　was　happy。
Before　blowing　the　light　out　Luigi　swallowed　half　a　tumbler　of　whisky；
and　Angelo；　whose　sensitive　organization　could　not　endure　intoxicants　of
any　kind；　took　a　pill　to　keep　it　from　giving　him　the　headache。




CHAPTER　II

MA　COOPER　GETS　ALL　MIXED　UP

The　family　sat　in　the　breakfast…room　waiting　for　the　twins　to　come　down。
The　widow　was　quiet；　the　daughter　was　alive　with　happy　excitement。　　She
said：

〃Ah；　they're　a　boon；　ma；　just　a　boon！　　don't　you　think　so？〃

〃Laws；　I　hope　so；　I　don't　know。〃

〃Why；　ma；　yes　you　do。　　They're　so　fine　and　handsome；　and　high…bred　and
polite；　so　every　way　superior　to　our　gawks　here　in　this　village；　why；
they'll