christie johnstone-第2章

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Here　lay　on　a　sofa　Ipsden；　one　of　the　most　distinguished　young　gentlemen
in　Europe；　a　creature　incapable；　by　nature；　of　a　rugged　tone　or　a　coarse
gesture；　a　being　without　the　slightest　apparent　pretension；　but　refined
beyond　the　wildest　dream　of　dandies。　To　him；　enter　Aberford；　perspiring
and　shouting。　He　was　one　of　those　globules　of　human　quicksilver　one　sees
now　and　then　for　two　seconds；　they　are；　in　fact；　two　globules；　their　head
is　one；　invariably　bald；　round；　and　glittering；　the　body　is　another　in
activity　and　shape；　_totus　teres　atque　rotundus；_　and　in　fifty　years　they
live　five　centuries。　_Horum　Rex　Aberford_of　these　our　doctor　was　the
chief。　He　had　hardly　torn　off　one　glove；　and　rolled　as　far　as　the　third
flower　from　the　door　on　his　lordship's　carpet；　before　he　shouted：

〃This　is　my　patient；　lolloping　in　pursuit　of　health。　Your　hand；〃　added
he。　For　he　was　at　the　sofa　long　before　his　lordship　could　glide　off　it。

〃Tongue。　Pulse　is　good。　Breathe　in　my　face。〃

〃Breathe　in　your　face；　sir！　how　can　I　do　that？〃　（with　an　air　of　mild
doubt。）

〃By　first　inhaling；　and　then　exhaling　in　the　direction　required；　or　how
can　I　make　acquaintance　with　your　bowels？〃

〃My　bowels？〃

〃The　abdomen；　and　the　greater　and　lesser　intestines。　Well；　never　mind；　I
can　get　at　them　another　way；　give　your　heart　a　slap；　so。　That's　your
liver。　And　that's　your　diaphragm。〃

His　lordship　having　found　the　required　spot　（some　people　that　I　know
could　not）　and　slapped　it；　the　Aberford　made　a　circular　spring　and
listened　eagerly　at　his　shoulder…blade；　the　result　of　this　scientific
pantomime　seemed　to　be　satisfactory；　for　he　exclaimed；　not　to　say　bawled：

〃Halo！　here　is　a　viscount　as　sound　as　a　roach！　Now；　young　gentleman；〃
added　he；　〃your　organs　are　superb；　yet　you　are　really　out　of　sorts；　it
follows　you　have　the　maladies　of　idle　minds；　love；　perhaps；　among　the
rest；　you　blush；　a　diagnostic　of　that　disorder；　make　your　mind　easy；
cutaneous　disorders；　such　as　love；　etc。；　shall　never　kill　a　patient　of
mine　with　a　stomach　like　yours。　So；　now　to　cure　you！〃　And　away　went　the
spherical　doctor；　with　his　hands　behind　him；　not　up　and　down　the　room；
but　slanting　and　tacking；　like　a　knight　on　a　chess…board。　He　had　not　made
many　steps　before；　turning　his　upper　globule；　without　affecting　his
lower；　he　hurled　back；　in　a　cold　business…like　tone；　the　following
interrogatory：

〃What　are　your　vices？〃

〃Saunders；〃　inquired　the　patient；　〃which　are　my　vices？〃

〃M'lord；　lordship　hasn't　any　vices；〃　replied　Saunders；　with　dull；
matter…of…fact　solemnity。

〃Lady　Barbara　makes　the　same　complaint；〃　thought　Lord　Ipsden。

〃It　seems　I　have　not　any　vices；　Dr。　Aberford；〃　said　he；　demurely。

〃That　is　bad；　nothing　to　get　hold　of。　What　interests　you；　then？〃

〃I　don't　remember。〃

〃What　amuses　you？〃

〃I　forget。〃

〃What！　no　winning　horse　to　gallop　away　your　rents？〃

〃No；　sir！〃

〃No　opera　girl　to　run　her　foot　and　ankle　through　your　purse？〃

〃No；　sir！　and　I　think　their　ankles　are　not　what　they　were。〃

〃Stuff！　just　the　same；　from　their　ankles　up　to　their　ears；　and　down　again
to　their　morals；　it　is　your　eyes　that　are　sunk　deeper　into　your　head。
Hum！　no　horses；　no　vices；　no　dancers；　no　yacht；　you　confound　one's
notions　of　nobility；　and　I　ought　to　know　them；　for　I　have　to　patch　them
all　up　a　bit　just　before　they　go　to　the　deuce。〃

〃But　I　have；　Doctor　Aberford。〃

〃What！〃

〃A　yacht！　and　a　clipper　she　is；　too。〃

〃Ah！（Now　I've　got　him。）〃

〃In　the　Bay　of　Biscay　she　lay　half　a　point　nearer　the　wind　than　Lord
Heavyjib。〃

〃Oh！　bother　Lord　Heavyjib；　and　his　Bay　of　Biscay。〃

〃With　all　my　heart；　they　have　often　bothered　me。〃

〃Send　her　round　to　Granton　Pier；　in　the　Firth　of　Forth。〃

〃I　will；　sir。〃

〃And　write　down　this　prescription。〃　And　away　he　walked　again；　thinking
the　prescription。

〃Saunders；〃　appealed　his　master。

〃Saunders　be　hanged。〃

〃Sir！〃　said　Saunders；　with　dignity；　〃I　thank　you。〃

〃Don't　thank　me；　thank　your　own　deserts；〃　replied　the　modern
Chesterfield。　〃Oblige　me　by　writing　it　yourself；　my　lord；　it　is　all　the
bodily　exercise　you　will　have　had　to…day；　no　doubt。〃

The　young　viscount　bowed；　seated　himself　at　a　desk；　and　wrote　from
dictation：


〃DR。　ABERFORD'S　PRESCRIPTION。


〃Make　acquaintance　with　all　the　people　of　low　estate　who　have　time　to　be
bothered　with　you；　learn　their　ways；　their　minds；　and；　above　all；　their
troubles。〃

〃Won't　all　this　bore　me？〃　suggested　the　writer。

〃You　will　see。　Relieve　one　fellow…creature　every　day；　and　let　Mr。
Saunders　book　the　circumstances。〃

〃I　shall　like　this　part；〃　said　the　patient；　laying　down　his　pen。　〃How
clever　of　you　to　think　of　such　things；　may　not　I　do　two　sometimes？〃

〃Certainly　not；　one　pill　per　day。　Write；　Fish　the　herring！　（that　beats
deer…stalking。）　Run　your　nose　into　adventures　at　sea；　live　on　tenpence；
and　earn　it。　Is　it　down？〃

〃Yes；　it　is　down；　but　Saunders　would　have　written　it　better。〃

〃If　he　hadn't　he　ought　to　be　hanged；〃　said　the　Aberford；　inspecting　the
work。　〃I'm　off；　where's　my　hat？　oh；　there；　where's　my　money？　oh；　here。
Now　look　here；　follow　my　prescription；　and

You　will　soon　have　Mens　sana　in　corpore　sano；　And　not　care　whether　the
girls　say　yes　or　say　no；

neglect　it；　andmy　gloves；　oh；　in　my　pocketyou　will　be　_blase'_　and
_ennuye'；_　and　（an　English　participle；　that　means　something　as　bad）；　God
bless　you！〃

And　out　he　scuttled；　glided　after　by　Saunders；　for　whom　he　opened　and
shut　the　street　door。

Never　was　a　greater　effect　produced　by　a　doctor's　visit；　patient　and
physician　were　made　for　each　other。　Dr。　Aberford　was　the　specific　for
Lord　Ipsden。　He　came　to　him　like　a　shower　to　a　fainting　strawberry。

Saunders；　on　his　return；　found　his　lord　pacing　the　apartment。

〃Saunders；〃　said　he；　smartly；　〃send　down　to　Gravesend　and　order　the　yacht
to　this　placewhat　is　it？〃

〃Granton　Pier。　Yes；　my　lord。〃

〃And；　Saunders；　take　clothes；　and　books；　and　violins；　and　telescopes；　and
thingsand　meto　Euston　Square；　in　an　hour。〃

〃Impossible；'　my　lord；〃　cried　Saunders；　in　dismay。　〃And　there　is　no　train
for　hours。〃

His　master　replied　with　a　hundred…pound　note；　and　a　quiet；　but　wickedish
look；　and　the　prince　of　gentlemen's　gentleman　had　all　the　required　items
with　him；　in　a　special　train；　within　the　specified　time；　and　away　they
flashed；　northward。



CHAPTER　II。


IT　is　said　that　opposite　characters　make　a　union　happiest；　and　perhaps
Lord　Ipsden；　diffident　of　himself；　felt　the　value　to　him　of　a　creature　so
different　as　Lady　Barbara　Sinclair；　but　the　lady；　for　her　part；　was　not
so　diffident　of　herself；　nor　was　she　in　search　of　her　opposite。　On　the
contrary；　she　was　waiting　patiently　to　find　just　such　a　man　as　she　was；
or　fancied　herself；　a　woman。

Accustomed　to　measure　men　by　their　characters　alone；　and　to　treat　with
sublime　contempt　the　accidents　of　birth　and　fortune；　she　had　been　a
little　staggered　by　the　assurance　of　this　butterfly　that　had　proposed　to
settle　upon　her　handfor　life。

In　a　word；　the　beautiful　writer　of　the　fatal　note　was　honestly　romantic；
according　to　the　romance　of　1848；　and　of　good　society；　of　course　she　was
not　affected　by　hair　tumbling　back　or　plastered　down　forward；　and　a
rolling　eye　went　no　further　with　her　than　a　squinting　one。

Her　romance　was　stern；　not　sickly。　She　was　on　the　lookout　for　iron
virtues；　she　had　sworn　to　be　wooed　with　great　deeds；　or　never　won；　on
this　subject　she　had　thought　much；　though　not　enough　to　ask　herself
whether　great　deeds　are　always　to　be　got　at；　however　disposed　a　lover　may
be。

No　matter；　she　kept　herself　in　reserve　for　some　earnest　man；　who　was　not
to　come　flattering　and　fooling　to　her；　but　look　another　way　and　do
exploits。

She　liked　Lord　Ipsden；　her　cousin　once　removed；　but　despised　him　for
being　agreeable；　handsome；　clever；　and　nobody。

She　was　also　a　little　bitten　with　what　she　and　others　called　the　Middle
Ages；　in　fact　with　that　picture　of　them　which　Grub　Street；　imposing　on
the　simplicity　of　youth；　had　got　up　for　sale　by　arraying　painted　glass；
gilt　rags；　and　fancy；　against　fact。

With　these　vague　and　sketchy　notices　we　are　compelled　to　part；　for　the
present；　with　Lady　Barbara。　But　it　serves　her　right；　she　has　gone　to
establish　her　court　in　Perthshire；　and　left　her　rejected　lover　on　our
hands。

Journeys　of　a　few　hundred　miles　are　no　longer　described。

You　exchange　a　dead　chair　for　a　living　chair；　Saunders　puts　in　your　hand
a　new　tale　like　this；　you　mourn　the　superstition　of　booksellers；　which
still　inflicts　uncut　leaves　upon　humanity；　though　tailors　do　not　send
home　coats　with　the　sleeves　stitched　up；　nor　chambermaids　put　travelers
into　apple…pie　beds　as　well　as　damp　sheets。　You　rend　and　read；　and　are　at
Edinburgh；　fatigued　more　or　less；　but　not　by　the　journey。

Lord　Ipsden　was；　therefore；　soon　installed　by　the　Firth　side；　full　of　the
Aberford。

The　young　nobleman　not　only　venerated　the　doctor's　sagacity；　but　half
admired　his　brusquerie　and　bustle；　things　of　which　he　was　himself　never
guilty。

As　for　the　prescription；　that　was　a　Delphic　Oracle。　Worlds　could　not　have
tempted　him　to　deviate　from　a　letter　in　it。

He　waited　with　impatience　for　the　yacht；　and；　meantime；　it　struck　him
that　the　first　part　of　the　prescription　could　be　attacked　at　once。

It　was　the　afternoon　of　the　day　succeeding　his　arrival。　The　Fifeshire
hills；　seen　across　the　Firth　from　his　windows；　were　beginning　to　take
their　charming　violet　tinge；　a　light　breeze　ruffled　the　blue　water　into　a
sparkling　smile；　the　shore　was　tranquil；　and　the　sea　full　of　noiseless
life；　with　the　craft　of　all　sizes　gliding　and　dancing　and　courtesying　on
their　trackless　roads。

The　air　was　tepid；　pure　and　sweet　as　heaven；　this　bright　afternoon；
Nature　had　grudged　nothing　that　could　give　fresh　life　and　hope　to　such
dwellers　in　dust　and　smoke　and　vice　as　were　there　to　look　awhile　on　her
clean　face　and　drink　her　honeyed　breath。

This　young　gentleman　was　not　insensible　to　the　beauty　of　the　scene。　He
was　a　little　lazy　by　nature；　and　made　lazier　by　the　misfortune　of　wealth；
but　he　had　sensibilities；　he　was　an　artist　of　great　natural　talent；　had
he　only　been　without　a　penny；　how　he　would　have　handled　the　brush！　And
then　he　was　a　mighty　sailor；　if　he　had　sailed　for　biscuit　a　few　years；
how　he　would　have　handled　a　ship！

As　he　was；　he　had　the　eye　of　a　hawk　for　Nature's　beauties；　and　the　sea
always　came　back　to　him　like　a　friend　after　an　absence。

This　scene；　then；　curled　round　his　heart　a　little；　and　he　felt　the　good
physician　was　wiser　than　the　tribe　that　go　by　that　name；　and　strive　to
build　health　on　the　sandy　foundation　of　drugs。

〃Saunders！　do　you　know　what　Dr。　Aberford　means　by　the　lower　classes？〃

〃Perfectly；　my　lord。〃

〃Are　there　any　about　here？〃

〃I　am　sorry　to　say　they　are　everywhere；　my　lord。〃

〃Get　me　some〃_（cigarette）。_

Out　went　Saunders；　with　his　usual　graceful　_empressement；_　but　an
internal　shrug　of　his　shoulders。

He　was　absent　an　hour　and　a　half；　he　then　returned　with　a　double
expression　on　his　facepride　at　his　success　in　diving　to　the　very　bottom
of　society；　and　contempt　of　what　he　had　fished　up　thence。

He　approached　his　lord　mysteriously；　and　said；　_sotto　voce；_　but
impressively；　〃This　is　l