the narrative of the life-第16章

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nine　lashes。　　They　came　because　they　wished　to

learn。　　Their　minds　had　been　starved　by　their　cruel

masters。　　They　had　been　shut　up　in　mental　darkness。

I　taught　them；　because　it　was　the　delight　of　my

soul　to　be　doing　something　that　looked　like　better…

ing　the　condition　of　my　race。　　I　kept　up　my　school

nearly　the　whole　year　I　lived　with　Mr。　Freeland；

and；　beside　my　Sabbath　school；　I　devoted　three　eve…

nings　in　the　week；　during　the　winter；　to　teaching　the

slaves　at　home。　　And　I　have　the　happiness　to　know；

that　several　of　those　who　came　to　Sabbath　school

learned　how　to　read；　and　that　one；　at　least；　is　now

free　through　my　agency。

　

　　The　year　passed　off　smoothly。　　It　seemed　only

about　half　as　long　as　the　year　which　preceded　it。

I　went　through　it　without　receiving　a　single　blow。

I　will　give　Mr。　Freeland　the　credit　of　being　the

best　master　I　ever　had；　~till　I　became　my　own　mas…

ter。~　　For　the　ease　with　which　I　passed　the　year；　I

was；　however；　somewhat　indebted　to　the　society　of

my　fellow…slaves。　　They　were　noble　souls；　they　not

only　possessed　loving　hearts；　but　brave　ones。　　We

were　linked　and　interlinked　with　each　other。　　I　loved

them　with　a　love　stronger　than　any　thing　I　have

experienced　since。　　It　is　sometimes　said　that　we

slaves　do　not　love　and　confide　in　each　other。　　In

answer　to　this　assertion；　I　can　say；　I　never　loved

any　or　confided　in　any　people　more　than　my　fellow…

slaves；　and　especially　those　with　whom　I　lived　at

Mr。　Freeland's。　　I　believe　we　would　have　died　for

each　other。　　We　never　undertook　to　do　any　thing；

of　any　importance；　without　a　mutual　consultation。

We　never　moved　separately。　　We　were　one；　and　as

much　so　by　our　tempers　and　dispositions；　as　by　the

mutual　hardships　to　which　we　were　necessarily　sub…

jected　by　our　condition　as　slaves。

　

　　At　the　close　of　the　year　1834；　Mr。　Freeland　again

hired　me　of　my　master；　for　the　year　1835。　　But；　by

this　time；　I　began　to　want　to　live　~upon　free　land~

as　well　as　~with　freeland；~　and　I　was　no　longer　con…

tent；　therefore；　to　live　with　him　or　any　other　slave…

holder。　　I　began；　with　the　commencement　of　the

year；　to　prepare　myself　for　a　final　struggle；　which

should　decide　my　fate　one　way　or　the　other。　　My

tendency　was　upward。　　I　was　fast　approaching　man…

hood；　and　year　after　year　had　passed；　and　I　was

still　a　slave。　　These　thoughts　roused　meI　must　do

something。　　I　therefore　resolved　that　1835　should

not　pass　without　witnessing　an　attempt；　on　my　part；

to　secure　my　liberty。　　But　I　was　not　willing　to　cherish

this　determination　alone。　　My　fellow…slaves　were　dear

to　me。　　I　was　anxious　to　have　them　participate　with

me　in　this；　my　life…giving　determination。　　I　therefore；

though　with　great　prudence；　commenced　early　to

ascertain　their　views　and　feelings　in　regard　to　their

condition；　and　to　imbue　their　minds　with　thoughts

of　freedom。　　I　bent　myself　to　devising　ways　and

means　for　our　escape；　and　meanwhile　strove；　on　all

fitting　occasions；　to　impress　them　with　the　gross

fraud　and　inhumanity　of　slavery。　　I　went　first　to

Henry；　next　to　John；　then　to　the　others。　　I　found；

in　them　all；　warm　hearts　and　noble　spirits。　　They

were　ready　to　hear；　and　ready　to　act　when　a　feasible

plan　should　be　proposed。　　This　was　what　I　wanted。

I　talked　to　them　of　our　want　of　manhood；　if　we

submitted　to　our　enslavement　without　at　least　one

noble　effort　to　be　free。　　We　met　often；　and　consulted

frequently；　and　told　our　hopes　and　fears；　recounted

the　difficulties；　real　and　imagined；　which　we　should

be　called　on　to　meet。　　At　times　we　were　almost　dis…

posed　to　give　up；　and　try　to　content　ourselves　with

our　wretched　lot；　at　others；　we　were　firm　and　un…

bending　in　our　determination　to　go。　　Whenever　we

suggested　any　plan；　there　was　shrinkingthe　odds

were　fearful。　　Our　path　was　beset　with　the　greatest

obstacles；　and　if　we　succeeded　in　gaining　the　end

of　it；　our　right　to　be　free　was　yet　questionablewe

were　yet　liable　to　be　returned　to　bondage。　　We　could

see　no　spot；　this　side　of　the　ocean；　where　we　could

be　free。　　We　knew　nothing　about　Canada。　　Our

knowledge　of　the　north　did　not　extend　farther　than

New　York；　and　to　go　there；　and　be　forever　harassed

with　the　frightful　liability　of　being　returned　to

slaverywith　the　certainty　of　being　treated　tenfold

worse　than　beforethe　thought　was　truly　a　horrible

one；　and　one　which　it　was　not　easy　to　overcome。

The　case　sometimes　stood　thus：　At　every　gate

through　which　we　were　to　pass；　we　saw　a　watchman

at　every　ferry　a　guardon　every　bridge　a　sentinel

and　in　every　wood　a　patrol。　　We　were　hemmed　in

upon　every　side。　　Here　were　the　difficulties；　real　or

imaginedthe　good　to　be　sought；　and　the　evil　to　be

shunned。　　On　the　one　hand；　there　stood　slavery；　a

stern　reality；　glaring　frightfully　upon　us；its　robes

already　crimsoned　with　the　blood　of　millions；　and

even　now　feasting　itself　greedily　upon　our　own　flesh。

On　the　other　hand；　away　back　in　the　dim　distance；

under　the　flickering　light　of　the　north　star；　behind

some　craggy　hill　or　snow…covered　mountain；　stood

a　doubtful　freedomhalf　frozenbeckoning　us　to

come　and　share　its　hospitality。　　This　in　itself　was

sometimes　enough　to　stagger　us；　but　when　we　per…

mitted　ourselves　to　survey　the　road；　we　were　fre…

quently　appalled。　　Upon　either　side　we　saw　grim

death；　assuming　the　most　horrid　shapes。　　Now　it　was

starvation；　causing　us　to　eat　our　own　flesh；now　we

were　contending　with　the　waves；　and　were　drowned；

now　we　were　overtaken；　and　torn　to　pieces　by　the

fangs　of　the　terrible　bloodhound。　　We　were　stung

by　scorpions；　chased　by　wild　beasts；　bitten　by　snakes；

and　finally；　after　having　nearly　reached　the　desired

spot；after　swimming　rivers；　encountering　wild

beasts；　sleeping　in　the　woods；　suffering　hunger　and

nakedness；we　were　overtaken　by　our　pursuers；　and；

in　our　resistance；　we　were　shot　dead　upon　the　spot！

I　say；　this　picture　sometimes　appalled　us；　and　made

us

　

　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　〃rather　bear　those　ills　we　had；

　

　　　　　　　　　Than　fly　to　others；　that　we　knew　not　of。〃

　

　

　　In　coming　to　a　fixed　determination　to　run　away；

we　did　more　than　Patrick　Henry；　when　he　resolved

upon　liberty　or　death。　　With　us　it　was　a　doubtful

liberty　at　most；　and　almost　certain　death　if　we　failed。

For　my　part；　I　should　prefer　death　to　hopeless　bond…

age。

　

　　Sandy；　one　of　our　number；　gave　up　the　notion；

but　still　encouraged　us。　　Our　company　then　consisted

of　Henry　Harris；　John　Harris；　Henry　Bailey；　Charles

Roberts；　and　myself。　　Henry　Bailey　was　my　uncle；

and　belonged　to　my　master。　　Charles　married　my

aunt：　he　belonged　to　my　master's　father…in…law；　Mr。

William　Hamilton。

　

　　The　plan　we　finally　concluded　upon　was；　to　get

a　large　canoe　belonging　to　Mr。　Hamilton；　and　upon

the　Saturday　night　previous　to　Easter　holidays；

paddle　directly　up　the　Chesapeake　Bay。　　On　our　ar…

rival　at　the　head　of　the　bay；　a　distance　of　seventy

or　eighty　miles　from　where　we　lived；　it　was　our

purpose　to　turn　our　canoe　adrift；　and　follow　the

guidance　of　the　north　star　till　we　got　beyond　the

limits　of　Maryland。　　Our　reason　for　taking　the　water

route　was；　that　we　were　less　liable　to　be　suspected　as

runaways；　we　hoped　to　be　regarded　as　fishermen；

whereas；　if　we　should　take　the　land　route；　we　should

be　subjected　to　interruptions　of　almost　every　kind。

Any　one　having　a　white　face；　and　being　so　disposed；

could　stop　us；　and　subject　us　to　examination。

　

　　The　week　before　our　intended　start；　I　wrote　sev…

eral　protections；　one　for　each　of　us。　　As　well　as　I

can　remember；　they　were　in　the　following　words；　to

wit：

　

　

　　〃This　is　to　certify　that　I；　the　undersigned；　have

given　the　bearer；　my　servant；　full　liberty　to　go　to

Baltimore；　and　spend　the　Easter　holidays。　　Written

with　mine　own　hand；　&c。；　1835。

　

　　　　　　　　　　　　〃WILLIAM　HAMILTON；

　

　　〃Near　St。　Michael's；　in　Talbot　county；　Maryland。〃

　

　

　　We　were　not　going　to　Baltimore；　but；　in　going　up

the　bay；　we　went　toward　Baltimore；　and　these　pro…

tections　were　only　intended　to　protect　us　while　on

the　bay。

　

　　As　the　time　drew　near　for　our　departure；　our

anxiety　became　more　and　more　intense。　　It　was　truly

a　matter　of　life　and　death　with　us。　　The　strength　of

our　determination　was　about　to　be　fully　tested。　　At

this　time；　I　was　very　active　in　explaining　every　dif…

ficulty；　removing　every　doubt；　dispelling　every　fear；

and　inspiring　all　with　the　firmness　indispensable　to

success　in　our　undertaking；　assuring　them　that　half

was　gained　the　instant　we　made　the　move；　we　had

talked　long　enough；　we　were　now　ready　to　move；

if　not　now；　we　never　should　be；　and　if　we　did　not

intend　to　move　now；　we　had　as　well　fold　our　arms；

sit　down；　and　acknowledge　ourselves　fit　only　to　be

slaves。　　This；　none　of　us　were　prepared　to　acknowl…

edge。　　Every　man　stood　firm；　and　at　our　last　meeting；

we　pledged　ourselves　afresh；　in　the　most　solemn

manner；　that；　at　the　time　appointed；　we　would　cer…

tainly　start　in　pursuit　of　freedom。　　This　was　in　the

middle　of　the　week；　at　the　end　of　which　we　were

to　be　off。　　We　went；　as　usual；　to　our　several　fields

of　labor；　but　with　bosoms　highly　agitated　with

thoughts　of　our　truly　hazardous　undertaking。　　We

tried　to　conceal　our　feelings　as　much　as　possible；

and　I　think　we　succeeded　very　well。

　

　　After　a　painful　waiting；　the　Saturday　morning；

whose　night　was　to　witness　our　departure；　came。　　I

hailed　it　with　joy；　bring　what　of　sadness　it　might。

Friday　night　was　a　sleepless　one　for　me。　　I　probably

felt　more　anxious　than　the　rest；　because　I　was；　by

common　consent；　at　the　head　of　the　whole　affair。

The　responsibility　of　success　or　failure　lay　heavily

upon　me。　　The　glory　of　the　one；　and　the　confusion

of　the　other；　were　alike　mine。　　The　first　two　hours

of　that　morning　were　such　as　I　never　experienced

before；　and　hope　never　to　again。　　Early　in　the

morning；　we　went；　as　usual；　to　the　field。　　We　were

spreading　manure；　and　all　at　once；　while　thus　en…

gaged；　I　was　overwhelmed　with　an　indescribable　feel…

ing；　in　the　fulness　of　which　I　turned　to　Sandy；　who

was　near　by；　and　said；　〃We　are　betrayed！〃　　〃Well；〃

said　he；　〃that　thought　has　this　moment　struck　me。〃

We　said　no　more。　　I　was　never　more　certain　of　any

thing。

　

　　The　horn　was　blown　as　usual；　and　we　went　up

from　the　field　to　the　house　for　breakfast。　　I　went　for

the　form；　more　than　for　want　of　any　thing　to　eat

that　morning。　　Just　as　I　got　to　the　house；　in　looking

out　at　the　lane　gate；　I　saw　four　white　men；　with

two　colored　men。　　The　white　men　were　on　horseback；

and　the　colored　ones　were　walking　behind；　as　if　tied。

I　watched　them　a　few　moments　till　they　got　up　to

our　lane　gate。　　Here　they　halted；　and　tied　the　colored

men　to　the　gate…post。　　I　was　not　yet　certain　as　to

what　the　matter　was。　　In　a　few　moments；　in　rode

Mr。　Hamilton；　with　a　speed　betokening　great　excite…

ment。　　He　came　to　the　door；　and