the narrative of the life-第13章

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I　was　made　to　drink　the　bitterest　dregs　of　slavery；

that　time　was　during　the　first　six　months　of　my　stay

with　Mr。　Covey。　　We　were　worked　in　all　weathers。

It　was　never　too　hot　or　too　cold；　it　could　never　rain；

blow；　hail；　or　snow；　too　hard　for　us　to　work　in　the

field。　　Work；　work；　work；　was　scarcely　more　the　order

of　the　day　than　of　the　night。　　The　longest　days　were

too　short　for　him；　and　the　shortest　nights　too　long

for　him。　　I　was　somewhat　unmanageable　when　I　first

went　there；　but　a　few　months　of　this　discipline

tamed　me。　　Mr。　Covey　succeeded　in　breaking　me。　　I

was　broken　in　body；　soul；　and　spirit。　　My　natural

elasticity　was　crushed；　my　intellect　languished；　the

disposition　to　read　departed；　the　cheerful　spark　that

lingered　about　my　eye　died；　the　dark　night　of　slavery

closed　in　upon　me；　and　behold　a　man　transformed

into　a　brute！

　

　　Sunday　was　my　only　leisure　time。　　I　spent　this　in

a　sort　of　beast…like　stupor；　between　sleep　and　wake；

under　some　large　tree。　　At　times　I　would　rise　up；　a

flash　of　energetic　freedom　would　dart　through　my

soul；　accompanied　with　a　faint　beam　of　hope；　that

flickered　for　a　moment；　and　then　vanished。　　I　sank

down　again；　mourning　over　my　wretched　condition。

I　was　sometimes　prompted　to　take　my　life；　and　that

of　Covey；　but　was　prevented　by　a　combination　of

hope　and　fear。　　My　sufferings　on　this　plantation　seem

now　like　a　dream　rather　than　a　stern　reality。

　

　　Our　house　stood　within　a　few　rods　of　the　Chesa…

peake　Bay；　whose　broad　bosom　was　ever　white　with

sails　from　every　quarter　of　the　habitable　globe。

Those　beautiful　vessels；　robed　in　purest　white；　so

delightful　to　the　eye　of　freemen；　were　to　me　so

many　shrouded　ghosts；　to　terrify　and　torment　me

with　thoughts　of　my　wretched　condition。　　I　have　of…

ten；　in　the　deep　stillness　of　a　summer's　Sabbath；

stood　all　alone　upon　the　lofty　banks　of　that　noble

bay；　and　traced；　with　saddened　heart　and　tearful

eye；　the　countless　number　of　sails　moving　off　to

the　mighty　ocean。　　The　sight　of　these　always　affected

me　powerfully。　　My　thoughts　would　compel　utter…

ance；　and　there；　with　no　audience　but　the　Almighty；

I　would　pour　out　my　soul's　complaint；　in　my　rude

way；　with　an　apostrophe　to　the　moving　multitude　of

ships：

　

　　〃You　are　loosed　from　your　moorings；　and　are　free；

I　am　fast　in　my　chains；　and　am　a　slave！　　You　move

merrily　before　the　gentle　gale；　and　I　sadly　before

the　bloody　whip！　　You　are　freedom's　swift…winged

angels；　that　fly　round　the　world；　I　am　confined　in

bands　of　iron！　　O　that　I　were　free！　　O；　that　I　were

on　one　of　your　gallant　decks；　and　under　your　pro…

tecting　wing！　　Alas！　betwixt　me　and　you；　the　turbid

waters　roll。　　Go　on；　go　on。　　O　that　I　could　also　go！

Could　I　but　swim！　　If　I　could　fly！　　O；　why　was　I　born

a　man；　of　whom　to　make　a　brute！　　The　glad　ship

is　gone；　she　hides　in　the　dim　distance。　　I　am　left　in

the　hottest　hell　of　unending　slavery。　　O　God；　save

me！　　God；　deliver　me！　　Let　me　be　free！　　Is　there　any

God？　　Why　am　I　a　slave？　　I　will　run　away。　　I　will　not

stand　it。　　Get　caught；　or　get　clear；　I'll　try　it。　　I　had

as　well　die　with　ague　as　the　fever。　　I　have　only　one

life　to　lose。　　I　had　as　well　be　killed　running　as　die

standing。　　Only　think　of　it；　one　hundred　miles

straight　north；　and　I　am　free！　　Try　it？　　Yes！　　God

helping　me；　I　will。　　It　cannot　be　that　I　shall　live

and　die　a　slave。　　I　will　take　to　the　water。　　This　very

bay　shall　yet　bear　me　into　freedom。　　The　steam…

boats　steered　in　a　north…east　course　from　North

Point。　　I　will　do　the　same；　and　when　I　get　to　the

head　of　the　bay；　I　will　turn　my　canoe　adrift；　and

walk　straight　through　Delaware　into　Pennsylvania。

When　I　get　there；　I　shall　not　be　required　to　have　a

pass；　I　can　travel　without　being　disturbed。　　Let　but

the　first　opportunity　offer；　and；　come　what　will；　I

am　off。　　Meanwhile；　I　will　try　to　bear　up　under　the

yoke。　　I　am　not　the　only　slave　in　the　world。　　Why

should　I　fret？　　I　can　bear　as　much　as　any　of　them。

Besides；　I　am　but　a　boy；　and　all　boys　are　bound　to

some　one。　　It　may　be　that　my　misery　in　slavery　will

only　increase　my　happiness　when　I　get　free。　　There

is　a　better　day　coming。〃

　

　　Thus　I　used　to　think；　and　thus　I　used　to　speak

to　myself；　goaded　almost　to　madness　at　one　mo…

ment；　and　at　the　next　reconciling　myself　to　my

wretched　lot。

　

　　I　have　already　intimated　that　my　condition　was

much　worse；　during　the　first　six　months　of　my　stay

at　Mr。　Covey's；　than　in　the　last　six。　　The　circum…

stances　leading　to　the　change　in　Mr。　Covey's　course

toward　me　form　an　epoch　in　my　humble　history。

You　have　seen　how　a　man　was　made　a　slave；　you

shall　see　how　a　slave　was　made　a　man。　　On　one　of

the　hottest　days　of　the　month　of　August；　1833；　Bill

Smith；　William　Hughes；　a　slave　named　Eli；　and

myself；　were　engaged　in　fanning　wheat。　　Hughes　was

clearing　the　fanned　wheat　from　before　the　fan。　　Eli

was　turning；　Smith　was　feeding；　and　I　was　carrying

wheat　to　the　fan。　　The　work　was　simple；　requiring

strength　rather　than　intellect；　yet；　to　one　entirely

unused　to　such　work；　it　came　very　hard。　　About　three

o'clock　of　that　day；　I　broke　down；　my　strength　failed

me；　I　was　seized　with　a　violent　aching　of　the　head；

attended　with　extreme　dizziness；　I　trembled　in　every

limb。　　Finding　what　was　coming；　I　nerved　myself

up；　feeling　it　would　never　do　to　stop　work。　　I　stood

as　long　as　I　could　stagger　to　the　hopper　with　grain。

When　I　could　stand　no　longer；　I　fell；　and　felt　as

if　held　down　by　an　immense　weight。　　The　fan　of

course　stopped；　every　one　had　his　own　work　to　do；

and　no　one　could　do　the　work　of　the　other；　and

have　his　own　go　on　at　the　same　time。

　

　　Mr。　Covey　was　at　the　house；　about　one　hundred

yards　from　the　treading…yard　where　we　were　fanning。

On　hearing　the　fan　stop；　he　left　immediately；　and

came　to　the　spot　where　we　were。　　He　hastily　in…

quired　what　the　matter　was。　　Bill　answered　that　I

was　sick；　and　there　was　no　one　to　bring　wheat　to　the

fan。　　I　had　by　this　time　crawled　away　under　the

side　of　the　post　and　rail…fence　by　which　the　yard

was　enclosed；　hoping　to　find　relief　by　getting　out

of　the　sun。　　He　then　asked　where　I　was。　　He　was

told　by　one　of　the　hands。　　He　came　to　the　spot；　and；

after　looking　at　me　awhile；　asked　me　what　was

the　matter。　　I　told　him　as　well　as　I　could；　for　I　scarce

had　strength　to　speak。　　He　then　gave　me　a　savage

kick　in　the　side；　and　told　me　to　get　up。　　I　tried　to

do　so；　but　fell　back　in　the　attempt。　　He　gave　me

another　kick；　and　again　told　me　to　rise。　　I　again

tried；　and　succeeded　in　gaining　my　feet；　but；　stoop…

ing　to　get　the　tub　with　which　I　was　feeding　the

fan；　I　again　staggered　and　fell。　　While　down　in　this

situation；　Mr。　Covey　took　up　the　hickory　slat　with

which　Hughes　had　been　striking　off　the　half…bushel

measure；　and　with　it　gave　me　a　heavy　blow　upon

the　head；　making　a　large　wound；　and　the　blood　ran

freely；　and　with　this　again　told　me　to　get　up。　　I　made

no　effort　to　comply；　having　now　made　up　my　mind

to　let　him　do　his　worst。　　In　a　short　time　after　re…

ceiving　this　blow；　my　head　grew　better。　　Mr。　Covey

had　now　left　me　to　my　fate。　　At　this　moment　I　re…

solved；　for　the　first　time；　to　go　to　my　master；　enter

a　complaint；　and　ask　his　protection。　　In　order　to　do

this；　I　must　that　afternoon　walk　seven　miles；　and

this；　under　the　circumstances；　was　truly　a　severe

undertaking。　　I　was　exceedingly　feeble；　made　so　as

much　by　the　kicks　and　blows　which　I　received；　as

by　the　severe　fit　of　sickness　to　which　I　had　been

subjected。　　I；　however；　watched　my　chance；　while

Covey　was　looking　in　an　opposite　direction；　and

started　for　St。　Michael's。　　I　succeeded　in　getting　a

considerable　distance　on　my　way　to　the　woods；　when

Covey　discovered　me；　and　called　after　me　to　come

back；　threatening　what　he　would　do　if　I　did　not

come。　　I　disregarded　both　his　calls　and　his　threats；

and　made　my　way　to　the　woods　as　fast　as　my　feeble

state　would　allow；　and　thinking　I　might　be　over…

hauled　by　him　if　I　kept　the　road；　I　walked　through

the　woods；　keeping　far　enough　from　the　road　to

avoid　detection；　and　near　enough　to　prevent　losing

my　way。　　I　had　not　gone　far　before　my　little　strength

again　failed　me。　　I　could　go　no　farther。　　I　fell　down；

and　lay　for　a　considerable　time。　　The　blood　was　yet

oozing　from　the　wound　on　my　head。　　For　a　time　I

thought　I　should　bleed　to　death；　and　think　now　that

I　should　have　done　so；　but　that　the　blood　so　matted

my　hair　as　to　stop　the　wound。　　After　lying　there

about　three　quarters　of　an　hour；　I　nerved　myself

up　again；　and　started　on　my　way；　through　bogs　and

briers；　barefooted　and　bareheaded；　tearing　my　feet

sometimes　at　nearly　every　step；　and　after　a　journey

of　about　seven　miles；　occupying　some　five　hours　to

perform　it；　I　arrived　at　master's　store。　　I　then　pre…

sented　an　appearance　enough　to　affect　any　but　a

heart　of　iron。　　From　the　crown　of　my　head　to　my

feet；　I　was　covered　with　blood。　　My　hair　was　all

clotted　with　dust　and　blood；　my　shirt　was　stiff　with

blood。　　I　suppose　I　looked　like　a　man　who　had　es…

caped　a　den　of　wild　beasts；　and　barely　escaped　them。

In　this　state　I　appeared　before　my　master；　humbly

entreating　him　to　interpose　his　authority　for　my

protection。　　I　told　him　all　the　circumstances　as　well

as　I　could；　and　it　seemed；　as　I　spoke；　at　times　to

affect　him。　　He　would　then　walk　the　floor；　and　seek

to　justify　Covey　by　saying　he　expected　I　deserved

it。　　He　asked　me　what　I　wanted。　　I　told　him；　to　let

me　get　a　new　home；　that　as　sure　as　I　lived　with　Mr。

Covey　again；　I　should　live　with　but　to　die　with

him；　that　Covey　would　surely　kill　me；　he　was　in　a

fair　way　for　it。　　Master　Thomas　ridiculed　the　idea

that　there　was　any　danger　of　Mr。　Covey's　killing

me；　and　said　that　he　knew　Mr。　Covey；　that　he　was

a　good　man；　and　that　he　could　not　think　of　taking

me　from　him；　that；　should　he　do　so；　he　would　lose

the　whole　year's　wages；　that　I　belonged　to　Mr。　Covey

for　one　year；　and　that　I　must　go　back　to　him；　come

what　might；　and　that　I　must　not　trouble　him　with

any　more　stories；　or　that　he　would　himself　GET　HOLD

OF　ME。　　After　threatening　me　thus；　he　gave　me　a　very

large　dose　of　salts；　telling　me　that　I　might　remain

in　St。　Michael's　that　night；　（it　being　quite　late；）

but　that　I　must　be　off　back　to　Mr。　Covey's　early

in　the　morning；　and　that　if　I　did　not；　he　would

~get　hold　of　me；~　which　meant　that　he　would　whip

me。　　I　remained　all　night；　and；　according　to　his　or…

ders；　I　started　off　to　Covey's　in　the　morning；　（Sat…

urday　morning；）　wearied　in　body　and　broken　in

spirit。　　I　got　no　supper　that　night；　or　breakfast　that

morning。　　I　reached　Covey's　about　nine　o'clock；　and

just　as　I　was　getting　over　the　fence　that　divided

Mrs。　Kemp's　fields　from　ours；　out　ran　Covey　with

his　cowskin；　to　give　me　another　whipping。　　Before

he　could　reach　me；　I　succeeded　in　getting　to　the

cornfield；　and　as　the　corn　was　very　high；　it　af