hard times(艰难时世)-第41章
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find you alone here。 I have for some time had a particular wish to
speak to you。”
It was not by any wonderful accident that he found her； the
time of day being that at which she was always alone； and the
place being her favourite resort。 It was an opening in a dark wood；
where some felled trees lay； and where she would sit watching the
fallen leaves of last year； as she had watched the falling ashes at
home。
He sat down beside her； with a glance at her face。
“Your brother。 My young friend Tom—”
Her colour brightened； and she turned to him with a look of
interest。 “I never in my life；” he thought； “saw anything so
remarkable and so captivating as the lighting of those features！”
His face betrayed his thoughts—perhaps without betraying him；
for it might have been according to its instructions so to do。
“Pardon me。 The expression of your sisterly interest is so
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beautiful—Tom should be so proud of it—I know this is
inexcusable； but I am so compelled to admire。”
“Being so impulsive；” she said composedly。
“Mrs Bounderby； no： you know I make no pretence with you。
You know I am a sordid piece of human nature； ready to sell
myself at any time for any reasonable sum； and altogether
incapable of any Arcadian proceeding whatever。”
“I am waiting；” she returned； “for your further reference to my
brother。”
“Your are rigid with me； and I deserve it。 I am as worthless a
dog as you will find； except that I am not false—not false。 But you
surprised and started me from my subject； which was your
brother。 I have an interest in him。”
“Have you an interest in anything； Mr Harthouse？” she asked；
half incredulously and half gratefully。
“If you had asked me when I first came here； I should have said
no。 I must say now—even at the hazard of appearing to make a
pretence； and of justly awakening your incredulity—yes。”
She made a slight movement； as if she were trying to speak； but
could not find voice； at length she said； “Mr Harthouse； I give you
credit for being interested in my brother。”
“Thank you。 I claim to deserve it。 You know how little I do
claim； but I will go that length。 You have done so much for him；
you are so fond of him； your whole life； Mrs Bounderby； expresses
such charming self…forgetfulness on his account—pardon me
again—I am running wide of the subject。 I am interested in him
for his own sake。”
She had made the slightest action possible； as if she would have
risen in a hurry and gone away。 He had turned the course of what
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he said at that instant； and she remained。
“Mrs Bounderby；” he resumed； in a lighter manner； yet with a
show of effort in assuming it； which was even more expressive
than the manner he dismissed； “it is no irrevocable offence in a
young fellow of your brother’s years； if he is heedless；
inconsiderate； and expensive—a little dissipated； in the common
phrase。 Is he？”
“Yes。”
“Allow me to be frank。 Do you think he games at all？”
“I think he makes bets。” Mr Harthouse waiting as if that were
not her whole answer； she added； “I know he does。”
“Of course he loses？”
“Yes。”
“Everybody does lose who bets。 May I hint at the probability of
your sometimes supplying him with money for these purposes？”
She sat； looking down； but； at this question； raised her eyes
searchingly and a little resentfully。
“Acquit me of impertinent curiosity； my dear Mrs Bounderby。 I
think Tom may be gradually falling into trouble； and I wish to
stretch out a helping hand to him from the depths of my wicked
experience。—Shall I say again； for his sake？ Is that necessary？”
She seemed to try to answer； but nothing came of it。
“Candidly to confess everything that has occurred to me；” said
James Harthouse； again gliding with the same appearance of
effort into his more airy manner； “I will confide to you my doubt
whether he has had many advantages。 Whether—forgive my
plainness—whether any great amount of confidence is likely to
have been established between himself and his most worthy
father。”
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“I do not；” said Louisa； flushing with her own great
remembrance in that wise； “think it likely。”
“Or； between himself； and—I may trust to your perfect
understanding of my meaning； I am sure—and his highly
esteemed brother…in…law。”
She flushed deeper and deeper； and was burning red when she
replied in a fainter voice； “I do not think that likely either。”
“Mrs Bounderby；” said Harthouse； after a short silence； “may
there be a better confidence between yourself and me？ Tom has
borrowed a considerable sum of you？”
“You will understand； Mr Harthouse；” she returned； after some
indecision： she had been more or less uncertain； and troubled
throughout the conversation； and yet had in the main preserved
her self contained manner； “you will understand that if I tell you
what you press to know； it is not by way of complaint or regret。 I
would never complain of anything； and what I have done I do not
in the least regret。”
“So spirited too！” thought James Harthouse。
“When I married； I found that my brother was even at that time
heavily in debt。 Heavily for him； I mean。 Heavily enough to oblige
me to sell some trinkets。 They were no sacrifice。 I sold them very
willingly。 I attached no value to them。 They were quite worthless
to me。”
Either she saw in his face that he knew； or she only feared in
her conscience that he knew； that she spoke of some of her
husband’s gifts。 She stopped； and reddened again。 If he had not
known it before； he would have known it then； though he had been
a much duller man than he was。
“Since then； I have given my brother； at various times； what
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money I could spare： in short； what money I have had。 Confiding
in you at all； on the faith of the interest you profess for him； I will
not do so by halves。 Since you have been in the habit of visiting
here； he has wanted in one sum as much as a hundred pounds。 I
have not been able to give it to him。 I have felt uneasy for the
consequences of his being so involved； but I have kept these
secrets until now； when I trust them to your honour。 I have held
no confidence with any one； be cause—you anticipated my reason
just now。” She abruptly broke off。
He was a ready man； and he saw； and seized； an opportunity
here of presenting her own image to her； slightly disguised as her
brother。
“Mrs Bounderby； though a graceless person； of the world
worldly； I feel the utmost interest； I assure you； in what you tell
me。 I cannot possibly be hard upon your brother。 I understand
and share the wise consideration with which you regard his errors。
With all possible respect both for Mr Gradgrind and for Mr
Bounderby； I think I perceive that he has not been fortunate in his
training。 Bred at a disadvantage towards the society in which he
has his part to play； he rushes into these extremities for himself；
from opposite extremes that have long been forced—with the very
best intentions we have no doubt—upon him。 Mr Bounderby’s fine
bluff English independence； though a most charming
characteristic； does not—as we have agreed—invite confidence。 If
I might venture to remark that it is the least in the world deficient
in that delicacy to which a youth mistaken； a character
misconceived； and abilities misdirected； would turn for relief and
guidance； I should express what it presents to my own view。”
As she sat looking straight before her； across the changing
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lights upon the grass into the darkness of the wood beyond； he saw
in her face her application of his very distinctly uttered words。
“All allowance；” he continued； “must be made。 I have one great
fault to find with Tom； however； which I cannot forgive； and for
which I take him heavily to account。”
Louisa turned her eyes to his face； and asked him what fault
was that？
“Perhaps；” he returned； “I have said enough。 Perhaps it would
have been better； on the whole； if no allusion to it had escaped
me。”
“You alarm me； Mr Harthouse。 Pray let me know it。”
“To relieve you from needless apprehension—and as this
confidence regarding your brother； which I prize I am sure above
all possible things； has been established between us—I obey。 I
cannot forgive him for not being more sensible in every word；
look； and act of his life； of the affection of his best friend； of the
devotion of his best fri
