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only wait for you。 ̄ 

    So�察  �Mr   M¨Choakumchild         began   in   his   best  manner。     He   and 

some one hundred and forty other schoolmasters�察�had been lately 

turned     at   the  same     time�察  �in  the   same    factory�察  �on   the   same 

principles�察�like so many pianoforte legs。 He had been put through 

an immense variety of paces�察�and had answered volumes of head´ 

breaking questions。 Orthography�察�etymology�察�syntax�察�and prosody�察�

biography�察  �astronomy�察  �geography�察  �and   general   cosmography�察  �the 

sciences     of  compound       proportion�察    �algebra�察   �land´surveying      and 

levelling�察  �vocal   music�察  �and   drawing   from   models�察  �were   all   at   the 

ends of his ten chilled fingers。 He had worked his stony way into 

Her  Majesty¨s   most  Honourable  Privy  Council¨s   Schedule   B�察�and 

had taken the bloom off the higher branches of mathematics and 

physical science�察�French�察�German�察�Latin�察�and Greek。 He knew all 

about all the Water Sheds of all the world ��whatever they are���察�and 

all   the   histories   of   all   the   peoples�察  �and   all   the   names   of   all   the 

rivers    and   mountains�察     �and    all  the  productions�察     �manners�察    �and 

customs of all the countries�察�and all their boundaries and bearings 

on the two and thirty points of the compass。 Ah�察�rather overdone�察�



Charles Dickens                                                   ElecBook Classics 


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                                  Hard Times                                    16 



M¨Choakumchild。 If he had only learnt a little less�察�how infinitely 

better he might have taught much more� �

   He     went    to  work     in  this   preparatory      lesson�察  �not   unlike 

Morgiana in the Forty Thieves�此�looking into all the vessels ranged 

before   him�察  �one   after   another�察  �to   see   what   they   contained。   Say�察�

good M¨Choakumchild。 When from thy boiling store�察�thou shalt fill 

each jar brim full by and by�察�dost thou think that thou wilt always 

kill outright the robber Fancy lurking within!or sometimes only 

maim him and distort him� �



Charles Dickens                                                  ElecBook Classics 


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                                 Hard Times                                    17 



                                 Chapter 3 



                               A Loophole 



             r   Gradgrind   walked   homeward   from   the   school�察  �in      a 

             state of considerable satisfaction。 It was his school�察�and 

M 

             he intended it to be a model。 He intended every child in 

it to be a model!just as the young Gradgrinds were all models。 

   There were five young Gradgrinds�察�and they were models every 

one。    They    had   been    lectured   at�察 �from    their  tenderest     years�察�

coursed�察�like little hares。 Almost as soon as they could run alone�察�

they   had   been   made   to   run   to   the   lecture´room。   The   first   object 

with    which    they   had   an   association�察  �or  of  which    they   had   a 

remembrance�察�was a large   black board   with a   dry  Ogre   chalking 

ghastly white figures on it。 

   Not   that   they   knew�察   �by   name   or   nature�察 �anything    about    an 

Ogre。   Fact  forbid� �I   only  use   the   word   to  express   a   monster  in a 

lecturing castle�察�with Heaven knows how many heads manipulated 

into   one�察  �taking   childhood   captive�察  �and   dragging   it   into   gloomy 

statistical dens by the hair。 

   No little Gradgrind had ever seen a face in the moon�察�it was up 

in   the   moon   before   it   could   speak   distinctly。   No   little   Gradgrind 

had ever learnt the silly jingle�察�Twinkle�察�twinkle�察�little star�察�how I 

wonder what you are� �No little Gradgrind had ever known wonder 

on    the  subject�察  �each   little  Gradgrind    having    at  five  years   old 

dissected     the   Great   Bear    like  a  Professor    Owen�察    �and   driven 

Charles¨s      Wain     like   a   locomotive     engine´driver。      No    little 

Gradgrind   had   ever  associated   a cow  in a   field   with   that   famous 



Charles Dickens                                                 ElecBook Classics 


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                                    Hard Times                                      18 



cow with the crumpled horn who tossed the dog who worried the 

cat   who   killed   the   rat   who   ate   the   malt�察  �or   with   that   yet   more 

famous   cow   who   swallowed   Tom   Thumb�此  �it   had   never   heard   of 

those    celebrities�察   �and   had    only   been   introduced      to   a   cow   as  a 

graminivorous ruminating quadruped with several stomachs。 

    To his matter´of´fact home�察�which was called Stone Lodge�察�Mr 

Gradgrind   directed   his   steps。   He   had   virtually   retired   from   the 

wholesale   hardware   trade  before   he   built   Stone   Lodge�察  �and   was 

now     looking     about    for   a  suitable    opportunity       of  making      an 

arithmetical figure in Parliament。 Stone Lodge was situated on a 

moor within a mile or two of a great town!called Coketown in the 

present faithful guide´book。 

    A very regular feature on the face of the country�察�Stone Lodge 

was。     Not   the    least   disguise    toned    down     or   shaded     off   that 

uncompromising fact in the landscape。 A great square house�察�with 

a   heavy  portico  darkening  the   principal   windows�察  �as   its   master¨s 

heavy      brows     overshadowed        his   eyes。   A    calculated�察    �cast   up�察�

balanced�察�and proved house。 Six windows on this side of the door�察�

six on that side�察�a total of twelve in this wing�察�a total of twelve in 

the other wing�此�four and twenty carried over to the back wings。 A 

lawn   and   garden   and   an   infant   avenue�察  �all   ruled   straight   like   a 

botanical account´book。 Gas and ventilation�察�drainage and water´ 

service�察    �all  of  the   primest     quality。    Iron   clamps     and    girders�察�

fireproof from top to bottom�察�mechanical lifts for the housemaids�察�

with   all   their   brushes   and   brooms�察  �everything   that   heart   could 

desire。 

    Everything�拭      �Well�察   �I  suppose     so。  The    little  Gradgrinds      had 

cabinets in   various   departments   of   science   too。   They   had   a   little 

conchological       cabinet�察   �and   a  little  metallurgical     cabinet�察   �and   a 



Charles Dickens                                                     ElecBook Classics 


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little mineralogical cabinet�察�and the specimens   were   all arranged 

and labelled�察�and the bits of stone and ore looked as though they 

might     have    been    broken     from    the   parent    substances      by   those 

tremendously          hard     instruments       their    own     names�察     �and�察   �to 

paraphrase   the   idle legend   of   Peter   Piper�察  �who   had   never   found 

his way into their nursery�察�if the greedy little Gradgrinds grasped 

at   more   than   this�察  �what   was   it   for   good   gracious   goodness   sake�察�

that the greedy little Gradgrinds grasped at� �

    Their father walked on in a hopeful and satisfied frame of mind。 

He   was   an   affectionate      father�察   �after   his  manner�察    �but   he   would 

probably   have   described   himself   ��if   he   had   been   put�察  �like   Sissy 

Jupe�察�upon a definition�� as ^an eminently practical ̄ father。 He had 

a   particular   pride   in   the   phrase   eminently   practical�察  �which   was 

considered   to   have   a   special   application   to   him。   Whatsoever   the 

public meeting  held   in   Coketown�察  �and   whatsoever   the   subject   of 

such meeting�察�some Coketowner was sure to seize the occasion of 

alluding to his eminently practical friend Gradgrind。   This   always 

pleased the eminently practical   friend。  He   knew  it  to  be   his   due�察�

but his due was acceptable。 

    He   had   reached   the   neutral   ground   upon   the   outskirts   of   the 

town�察  �which   was   neither   town   nor   country�察  �and   yet   was   neither 

spoiled�察  �when   his   ears  were   invaded by  the   sound   of  music。   The 

clashing       and     banging      band      attached      to   the     horse´riding 

establishment which had there set up its rest in a wooden pavilion�察�

was   in   full   bray。   A   flag�察  �floating   from   the   summit   of   the   temple�察�

proclaimed  to  mankind   that   it   was   ^Sleary¨s   Horseriding ̄   which 

claimed their suffrages。 Sleary himself�察�a stout modern statue with 

a moneybox at its elbow�察�in an ecclesiastical niche of early Gothic 

architecture�察�took the money。 Miss Josephine Sleary�察�as some very 



Charles Dickens                                                       ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Hard Times                                     20 



long  and   very  narrow   strips   of   printed   bill   announced�察  �was   then 

inaugurating       the   entertainments       with   her   graceful     equestrian 

Tyrolean flower´act。 Among the other pleasing but always strictly 

moral   wonders   which   must   be   seen   to   be   believed�察  �Signor   Jupe 

was that afternoon to ^elucidate the diverting accomplishments of 

his   highly    trained   performing      dog   Merrylegs ̄。     He    was   also  to 

exhibit       ^his    astounding        feat     of    throwing       seventy´five 

hundredweight         in  rapid   succession     backhanded       over   his   head 

thus forming a fountain of solid iron in mid´air�察�a feat never before 

attempted in this or any other country and which having elicited 

such   rapturous   plaudits   from   enthusiastic   throngs          it   cannot   be 

withdrawn ̄。   The   same   Signor   Jupe   was   to   ^enliven   the   varied 

performances at frequent intervals with his chaste Shakespearean 

quips and retorts ̄。 Lastly�察�he was to wind them up by appearing in 

his favourite character of Mr William Button�察�of Tooley Street�察�in 

^the   highly  novel   and laughable   hippocomedietta   of   The   Tailor¨s 

Journey to Brentford ̄。 

    Thomas Gradgrind took no heed of these trivialities of  course�察�

but passed on as a practical man ought to pass on�察�either brushing 

the   noisy   insects   from   his   thoughts�察  �or   consigning   them      to   the 

House of Correction。 But�察�the turning of the road took him by the 

back    of   the   booth�察 �and   at  the   back   of  the  booth    a  number     of 

children     were    congregated      in   a  number     of  stealthy    attitudes�察�

striving to peep in at the hidden glories of the place。 

    This brought him to a stop。 ^Now�察�to think of these vagabonds�察院�

said he�察 �at

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