east lynne-第67章

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〃Rely　upon　it；　sorrow　of　some　nature　does　sooner　or　later　come　to　all。　In　the　brightest　apparent　lot　on　earth；　dark　days　must　mix。　Not　that　there　is　a　doubt　but　that　it　falls　unequally。　Some；　as　you　observe；　seem　born　to　it；　for　it　clings　to　them　all　their　days；　others　are　more　favoredas　we　reckon　favor。　Perhaps　this　great　amount　of　trouble　is　no　more　than　is　necessary　to　take　us　to　Heaven。　You　know　the　saying；　'Adversity　hardens　the　heart；　or　it　opens　it　to　Paradise。'　It　may　be　that　our　hearts　continue　so　hard；　that　the　long…continued　life's　trouble　is　requisite　to　soften　them。　My　dear；〃　Mrs。　Hare　added；　in　a　lower　tone；　while　the　tears　glistened　on　her　pale　cheeks；　〃there　will　be　a　blessed　rest　for　the　weary；　when　this　toilsome　life　is　ended；　let　us　find　comfort　in　that　thought。〃

〃Ay！　Ay！〃　murmured　Lady　Isabel。　〃It　is　all　that　is　left　to　me。〃

〃You　are　young　to　have　acquired　so　much　experience　of　sorrow。〃

〃We　cannot　estimate　sorrow　by　years。　We　may　live　a　whole　lifetime　of　it　in　a　single　hour。　But　we　generally　bring　ill　fate　upon　ourselves；〃　she　continued；　in　a　desperation　of　remorse；　〃as　our　conduct　is；　so　will　our　happiness　or　misery　be。〃

〃Not　always；〃　sighed　Mrs。　Hare。　〃Sorrow；　I　grant　you；　does　come　all　too　frequently；　from　ill…doing；　but　the　worst　is；　the　consequences　of　this　ill…doing　fall　upon　the　innocent　as　well　as　upon　the　guilty。　A　husband's　errors　will　involve　his　innocent　wife；　parent's　sins　fall　upon　their　children；　children　will　break　the　hearts　of　their　parents。　I　can　truly　say；　speaking　in　all　humble　submission；　that　I　am　unconscious　of　having　deserved　the　great　sorrow　which　came　upon　me；　that　no　act　of　mine　invited　it　on；　but　though　it　has　nearly　killed　me；　I　entertain　no　doubt　that　it　is　lined　with　mercy；　if　I　could　only　bring　my　weak　rebellious　heart　to　look　for　it。　You；　I　feel　sure；　have　been　equally　undeserving。〃

/She？/　Mrs。　Hare　marked　not　the　flush　of　shame；　the　drooping　of　the　eyelids。

〃You　have　lost　your　little　ones；〃　Mrs。　Hare　resumed。　〃That　is　grief　great　grief；　I　would　not　underrate　it；　but；　believe　me；　it　is　as　/nothing/　compared　to　the　awful　fate；　should　it　ever　fall　upon　you；　of　finding　your　children　grow　up　and　become　that　which　makes　you　wish　they　had　died　in　their　infancy。　There　are　times　when　I　am　tempted　to　regret　that　/all/　my　treasures　are　not　in　that　other　world；　that　they　had　not　gone　before　me。　Yes；　sorrow　is　the　lot　of　all。〃

〃Surely；　not　of　all；〃　dissented　Lady　Isabel。　〃There　are　some　bright　lots　on　earth。〃

〃There　is　not　a　lot　but　must　bear　its　appointed　share；〃　returned　Mrs。　Hare。　〃Bright　as　it　may　appear；　ay；　and　as　it　may　continue　to　be　for　years；　depend　upon　it；　some　darkness　must　overshadow　it；　earlier　or　later。〃

〃Mr。　and　Mrs。　Carlylewhat　sorrow　can　there　be　in　store　for　them？〃　asked　Lady　Isabel；　her　voice　ringing　with　a　strange　sound；　which　Mrs。　Hare　noted；　though　she　understood　it　not。

〃Mrs。　Carlyle's　lot　is　bright；〃　she　said；　a　sweet　smile　illumining　her　features。　〃She　loves　her　husband　with　an　impassioned　love；　and　he　is　worthy　of　it。　A　happy　fate；　indeed；　is　hers；　but　she　must　not　expect　to　be　exempted　from　sorrow。　Mr。　Carlyle　has　had　his　share　of　it；〃　continued　Mrs。　Hare。

〃Ah！〃

〃You　have　doubtless　been　made　acquainted　with　his　history。　His　first　wife　left　himleft　home　and　her　children。　He　bore　it　bravely　before　the　world；　but　I　know　that　it　wrung　his　very　heart…strings。　She　was　his　heart's　sole　idol。〃

〃She？　Not　Barbara？〃

The　moment　the　word　〃Barbara〃　had　escaped　her　lips；　Lady　Isabel；　recollected　herself。　She　was　only　Madame　Vine；　the　governess；　what　would　Mrs。　Hare　think　of　her　familiarity？

Mrs。　Hare　did　not　appear　to　have　noticed　it；　she　was　absorbed　in　the　subject。

〃Barbara？〃　she　uttered；　〃certainly　not。　Had　his　first　love　been　given　to　Barbara；　he　would　have　chosen　her　then。　It　was　given　to　Lady　Isabel。〃

〃It　is　given　his　wife　now？〃

Mrs。　Hare　nearly　laughed。

〃Of　course　it　is；　would　you　wish　it　to　be　buried　in　the　grave　with　the　dead；　and　with　one　who　was　false　to　him？　But；　my　dear；　she　was　the　sweetest　woman；　that　unfortunate　Lady　Isabel。　I　loved　her　then；　and　I　cannot　help　loving　her　still。　Others　blamed　her；　but　I　pitied。　They　were　well　matched；　he　so　good　and　noble；　she；　so　lovely　and　endearing。〃

〃And　she　left　himthrew　him　to　the　winds　with　all　his　nobility　and　love！〃　exclaimed　the　poor　governess；　with　a　gesture　of　the　hands　that　looked　very　much　like　despair。

〃Yes。　It　will　not　do　to　talk　ofit　is　a　miserable　subject。　How　she　could　abandon　such　a　husband；　such　children；　was　a　marvel　to　many；　but　to　none　more　than　it　was　to　me　and　my　daughter。　The　false　stepthough　I　feel　almost　ashamed　to　speak　out　the　thought；　lest　it　may　appear　to　savor　of　triumphwhile　it　must　have　secured　her　own　wretchedness；　led　to　the　happiness　of　my　child；　for　it　is　certain　Barbara　would　never　love　one　as　she　loves　Mr。　Carlyle。〃

〃It　did　secure　wretchedness　to　her；　you　think？〃　cried　Lady　Isabel；　her　tone　one　of　bitter　mockery　more　than　anything　else。

Mrs。　Hare　was　surprised　at　the　question。

〃No　woman　ever　took　that　fatal　step　yet；　without　its　entailing　on　her　the　most　dire　wretchedness；〃　she　replied。　〃It　cannot　be　otherwise。　And　Lady　Isabel　was　of　a　nature　to　feel　remorse　beyond　commonto　meet　it　half…way。　Refined；　modest；　with　every　feeling　of　an　English　gentlewoman；　she　was　the　very　last；　one　would　have　thought；　to　act　so。　It　was　as　if　she　had　gone　away　in　a　dream；　not　knowing　what　she　was　doing；　I　have　thought　so　many　a　time。　That　terrible　mental　wretchedness　and　remorse　did　overtake　her；　I　know。〃

〃How　did　you　know　it？　Did　you　hear　it？〃　exclaimed　Lady　Isabel；　her　tone　all　too　eager；　had　Mrs。　Hare　been　suspicious。　〃Did　he　proclaim　thatFrancis　Levison？　Did　you　hear　it　from　him？〃

Mrs。　Hare；　gentle　Mrs。　Hare；　drew　herself　up；　for　the　words　grated　on　her　feelings　and　on　her　pride。　Another　moment；　and　she　was　mild　and　kind　again；　for　she　reflected　that　the　poor；　sorrowful　governess　must　have　spoken　without　thought。

〃I　know　not　what　Sir　Francis　Levison　may　have　chose　to　proclaim；〃　she　said；　〃but　you　may　be　sure　he　would　not　be　allowed　opportunity　to　proclaim　anything　to　me；　or　to　any　other　friend　of　Mr。　Carlyle's；　nay；　I　should　say；　nor　to　any　of　the　good　and　honorable。　I　heard　it　from　Lord　Mount　Severn。〃

〃From　Lord　Mount　Severn？〃　repeated　Lady　Isabel。　And　she　opened　her　lips　to　say　something　more；　but　closed　them　again。

〃He　was　here　on　a　visit　in　the　summer；　he　stayed　a　fortnight。　Lady　Isabel　was　the　daughter　of　the　late　earlperhaps　you　may　not　have　known　that。　HeLord　Mount　Severntold　me；　in　confidence；　that　he　had　sought　out　Lady　Isabel　when　the　man；　Levison；　left　her；　he　found　her　sick；　poor；　broken…hearted；　in　some　remote　French　town；　utterly　borne　down　with　remorse　and　repentance。〃

〃Could　it　be　otherwise？〃　sharply　asked　Lady　Isabel。

〃My　dear；　I　have　said　it　could　not。　The　very　thought　of　her　deserted　children　would　entail　it；　if　nothing　she　did。　There　was　a　baby　born　abroad；〃　added　Mrs。　Hare；　dropping　her　voice；　〃an　infant　in　its　cradle；　Lord　Mount　Severn　said；　but　that　child；　we　knew；　could　only　bring　pain　and　shame。〃

〃True；〃　issued　from　her　trembling　lips。

〃Next　came　her　death；　and　I　cannot　but　think　it　was　sent　to　her　in　mercy。　I　trust　she　was　prepared　for　it；　and　had　made　her　peace　with　God。　When　all　else　is　taken　from　us；　we　turn　to　him；　I　hope　she　had　learned　to　find　the　Refuge。〃

〃How　did　Mr。　Carlyle　receive　the　news　of　her　death？〃　murmured　Lady　Isabel；　a　question　which　had　been　often　in　her　thoughts。

〃I　cannot　tell；　he　made　no　outward　sign　either　of　satisfaction　or　grief。　It　was　too　delicate　a　subject　for　any　one　to　enter　upon　with　him；　and　most　assuredly　he　did　not　enter　upon　it　himself。　After　he　was　engaged　to　my　child；　he　told　me　he　should　never　have　married　during　Lady　Isabel's　life。〃

〃Fromfromthe　remains　of　affection？〃

〃I　should　think　not。　I　inferred　it　to　be　from　conscientious　scruples。　All　his　affection　is　given　to　his　present　wife。　There　is　no　doubt　that　he　loves　her　with　a　true；　a　fervent；　a　lasting　love：　though　there　may　have　been　more　romantic　sentiment　in　the　early　passion　felt　for　Lady　Isabel。　Poor　thing！　She　gave　up　a　sincere　heart；　a　happy　home。〃

Ay；　poor　thing！　She　had　very　nearly　wailed　forth　her　vain　despair。

〃I　wonder　whether　the　drawing…room　is　tenanted　yet；〃　smiled　Mrs。　Hare；　breaking　a　pause　which　had　ensued。　〃If　so　I　suppose　they　will　be　expecting　me　there。〃

〃I　will　ascertain　for　you；〃　said　Lady　Isabel；　speaking　in　the　impulse　of　the　moment；　for　she　was　craving　an　instant　to　herself；　even　though　it　were　but　in　the　next　hall。

She　quitted　the　gray　parlor　and　approached　the　drawing…room。　Not　a　sound　came　from　it；　and；　believing　it　was　empty；　she　opened　the　door　and　looked　cautiously　in。

Quite　empty。　The　fire　blazed；　the　chandelier　was　lighted；　but　nobody　was　enjoying　the　warmth　or　the　light。　From　the　inner　room；　however；　came　the　sound　of　the　piano；　and　the　tones　of　Mr。　Carlyle's　voice。　She　recognized　the　chords　of　the　musicthey　were　those　of　the　accompaniment　to　the　song　he　had　so　loved　when　she　sang　it　him。　Who　was　about　to　sing　it　to　him　now？

Lady　Isabel　stole　across　the　drawing…room　to　the　other　door；　which　was　ajar。　Barbara　was　seated　at　the　piano；　and　Mr。　Carlyle　stood　by　her；　his　arm　on　her　chair；　and　bending　his　face　on　a　level　with　hers；　possibly　to　look　at　the　music。　So　once　had　stolen；　so　once　had　peeped　the　unhappy　Barbara；　to　hear　this　selfsame　song。　/She/　had　been　his　wife　then；　she　had　craved；　and　received　his　kisses　when　it　was　over。　Their　positions　were　reversed。

Barbara　began。　Her　voice　had　not　the　brilliant　power　of　Lady　Isabel's；　but　it　was　a　sweet　and　pleasant　voice　to　listen　to。

　　〃When　other　lips　and　other　hearts　　　　　　Their　tales　of　love　shall　tell；　　　　In　language　whose　excess　imparts　　　　　　The　power　they　feel　so　well；　　　　There　may；　perhaps；　in　such　a　scene；　　　　　　Some　recollection　be；　　　　Of　days　that　have　as　happy　been　　　　　　And　you'll　remember　me。〃

Days　that　had　as　happy　been！　Ay！　/did/　he　remember　her？　Did　a　thought　of　her；　his　first　and　best　love；　flit　across　him；　as　the　words　fell　on　his　ear？　Did　a　past　vision　of　the　time　when　she　had　sat　there　and　sung　it　to　him　arouse　his　heart　to　even　momentary　recollection？

Terribly；　indeed；　were　their　positions　reversed；　most　terribly　was　she　feeling　it。　And　by　whose　act　and　will　had　the　change　been　wrought？　Barbara　was　now　the　cherished　wife；　East　Lynne's　mistress。　And　what　was　she？　Not　even　the　courted；　welcomed　guest　of　an　hour；　as　Barbara　had　been；　but　an　interloper；　a　criminal　woman　who　had　thrust　herself　into　the　house；　her　act；　in　doing　so；　not　justifiable；　her　position　a　most　false　one。　Was　it　right；　even　if　she　did　succeed　in　remaining　undiscovered；　that　she　and　Barbara　should　dwell　in　the　same　habitation；　Mr。　Carlyle　being　in　it？　Did　she　deem　it　to　be　right？　No；　she　did　not；　but　one　act　of　ill…doing　entails　more。　These　thoughts　were　passing　through　her　mind　as　she　stood　there；　listening　to　the　song；　stood　there　as　one　turned　to　stone；　her　throbbing　temples　pressed　against　the　door's　pillar。

The　song　was　over；　and　Barbara　turned　to　her　husband；　a　whole　world　of　love　in　her　bright　blue　eyes。　He　laid　his　hand　upon　her　head；　Lady　Isabel　saw　that；　but　she　would　not　wait　to　see　t