east lynne-第63章

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Evening　came；　and　she　had　not　decided。　She　passed　another　night　of　pain；　of　restlessness；　of　longing　for　her　children；　this　intense　longing　appeared　to　be　overmastering　all　her　powers　of　mind　and　body。　The　temptation　at　length　proved　too　strong；　the　project　having　been　placed　before　her　covetous　eyes　could　not　be　relinquished；　and　she　finally　consented　to　go。　〃What　is　it　that　would　keep　me　away？〃　she　argued。　〃The　dread　of　discovery？　Well　if　that　comes　it　must；　they　could　not　hang　me　or　kill　me。　Deeper　humiliation　than　ever　would　be　my　portion　when　they　drive　me　from　East　Lynne　with　abhorrence　and　ignominy；　as　a　soldier　is　drummed　out　of　his　regiment；　but　I　could　bear　that　as　I　must　bear　the　rest　and　I　can　shrink　under　the　hedge　and　lay　myself　down　to　die。　Humiliation　for　me？　No；　I　will　not　put　that　in　comparison　with　seeing　and　being　with　my　children。〃

Mrs。　Latimer　wrote　to　Mrs。　Carlyle。　She　had　met　with　a　governess；　one　desirable　in　every　way　who　could　not　fail　to　suit　her　views　precisely。　She　was　a　Madame　Vine；　English　by　birth；　but　the　widow　of　a　Frenchman；　a　Protestant；　a　thorough　gentlewoman；　an　efficient　linguist　and　musician；　and　competent　to　her　duties　in　all　ways。　Mrs。　Crosby；　with　whom　she　had　lived　two　years　regarded　her　as　a　treasure；　and　would　not　have　parted　with　her　but　for　Helena's　marriage　with　a　German　nobleman。　〃You　must　not　mind　her　appearance；〃　went　on　the　letter。　〃She　is　the　oddest…looking　person；　wears　spectacles；　caps；　enormous　bonnets；　and　has　a　great　scar　on　her　mouth　and　chin；　and　though　she　can't　be　more　than　thirty；　her　hair　is　gray；　she　is　also　slightly　lame。　But；　understand　you；　she　is　a　/lady/；　with　it　all；　and　looks　one。〃

When　this　description　reached　East　Lynne；　Barbara　laughed　at　it　as　she　read　it　aloud　to　Mr。　Carlyle。　He　laughed　also。

〃It　is　well　governesses　are　not　chosen　according　to　their　looks；〃　he　said；　〃or　I　fear　Madame　Vine　would　stand　but　a　poor　chance。〃

They　resolved　to　engage　her；　and　word　went　back　to　that　effect。

A　strangely　wild　tumult　filled　Lady　Isabel's　bosom。　She　first　of　all　hunted　her　luggage　over；　her　desk；　everything　belonging　to　her　lest　any　mark　on　the　linen　might　be　there；　which　could　give　a　clue　to　her　former　self。　The　bulk　of　her　luggage　remained　in　Paris；　warehoused；　where　it　had　been　sent　ere　she　quitted　Grenoble。　She　next　saw　to　her　wardrobe；　making　it　still　more　unlike　anything　she　had　used　to　wear；　her　caps；　save　that　they　were　simple；　and　fitted　closely　to　the　face；　nearly　rivaled　those　of　Miss　Carlyle。　Her　handwriting　she　had　been　striving　for　years　to　change　the　character　of；　and　had　so　far　succeeded　that　none　would　now　take　it　for　Lady　Isabel　Vane's。　But　her　hand　shook　as　she　wrote　to　Mrs。　Carlylewho　had　written　to　her。　She　/she/　writing　to　Mr。　Carlyle's　wife！　And　in　the　capacity　of　a　subordinate！　How　would　she　like　to　live　with　her　as　a　subordinate；　as　servantit　may　be　saidwhere　she　had　once　reigned；　the　idolized　lady？　She　must　bear　that；　as　she　must　bear　all　else。　Hot　tears　came　into　her　eyes；　with　a　gush；　as　they　fell　on　the　signature；　〃Barbara　Carlyle。〃

All　ready；　she　sat　down　and　waited　the　signal　of　departure；　but　that　was　not　to　be　yet。　It　was　finally　arranged　that　she　should　travel　to　England　and　to　West　Lynne　with　Mrs。　Latimer；　and　that　lady　would　not　return　until　October。　Lady　Isabel　could　only　fold　her　hands　and　strive　for　patience。

But　the　day　did　comeit　actually　did；　and　Mrs。　Latimer；　Lady　Isabel；　and　Afy　quitted　Stalkenberg。　Mrs。　Latimer　would　only　travel　slowly；　and　the　impatient；　fevered　woman　thought　the　journey　would　never　end。

〃You　have　been　informed；　I　think；　of　the　position　of　these　unhappy　children　that　you　are　going　to；〃　Mrs。　Latimer　observed　to　her　one　day。　〃You　must　not　speak　to　them　of　their　mother。　She　left　them。〃

〃Yes。〃

〃It　is　never　well　to　speak　to　children　of　a　mother　who　has　disgraced　them。　Mr。　Carlyle　would　not　like　it；　and　I　dare　say　they　are　taught　to　forget　her；　and　to　regard　Mrs。　Carlyle　as　their　only　mother。〃

Her　aching　heart　had　to　assent　to　all。

It　was　a　foggy　afternoon；　gray　with　the　coming　twilight；　when　they　arrived　at　West　Lynne。

Mrs。　Latimer　believing　the　governess　was　a　novice　in　England；　kindly　put　her　into　a　fly；　and　told　the　driver　his　destination。　〃/Au　revoir/；　madame；〃　she　said；　〃and　good　luck　to　you。〃

Once　more　she　was　whirling　along　the　familiar　road。　She　saw　Justice　Hare's　house；　she　saw　other　marks　which　she　knew　well；　and　once　more　she　saw　/East　Lynne/；　the　dear　old　house；　for　the　fly　had　turned　into　the　avenue。　Lights　were　moving　in　the　windows；　it　looked　gay　and　cheerful；　a　contrast　to　her。　Her　heart　was　sick　with　expectation；　her　throat　was　beating；　and　as　the　man　thundered　up　with　all　the　force　of　his　one　horse；　and　halted　at　the　steps；　her　sight　momentarily　left　her。　Would　Mr。　Carlyle　come　to　the　fly　to　hand　her　out？　She　wished　she　had　never　undertaken　the　project；　now；　in　the　depth　of　her　fear　and　agitation。　The　hall　door　was　flung　open；　and　there　gushed　forth　a　blaze　of　light。

Two　men…servants　stood　there。　The　one　remained　in　the　hall；　the　other　advanced　to　the　chaise。　He　assisted　Lady　Isabel　to　alight；　and　then　busied　himself　with　the　luggage。　As　she　ascended　to　the　hall　she　recognized　old　Peter。　Strange；　indeed；　did　it　seem　not　to　say；　〃How　are　you；　Peter？〃　but　to　meet　him　as　a　stranger。　For　a　moment；　she　was　at　a　loss　for　words；　what　should　she　say；　or　ask；　coming　to　her　own　home？　Her　manner　was　embarrassed；　her　voice　low。

〃Is　Mrs。　Carlyle　within？〃

〃Yes；　ma'am。〃

At　that　moment　Joyce　came　forward　to　receive　her。　〃It　is　Madame　Vine；　I　believe；〃　she　respectfully　said。　〃Please　to　step　this　way；　madame。〃

But　Lady　Isabel　lingered　in　the　hall；　ostensibly　to　see　that　her　boxes　came　in　rightStephen　was　bringing　them　upin　reality　to　gather　a　short　respite；　for　Joyce　might　be　about　to　usher　her　into　the　presence　of　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Carlyle。

Joyce；　however；　did　nothing　of　the　sort。　She　merely　conducted　her　to　the　gray　parlor。　A　fire　was　burning　in　the　grate；　looking　cheerful　on　the　autumn　night。

〃This　is　your　sitting…room；　madame。　What　will　you　please　to　take？　I　will　order　it　brought　in　while　I　show　you　your　bed…chamber。〃

〃A　cup　of　tea；〃　answered　Lady　Isabel。

〃Tea　and　some　cold　meat？〃　suggested　Joyce。　But　Lady　Isabel　interrupted　her。

〃Nothing　but　tea　and　a　little　cold　toast。〃

Joyce　rang　the　bell；　ordered　the　refreshment　to　be　made　ready；　and　then　preceded　Lady　Isabel　upstairs。　On　she　followed　her　heart　palpitating；　past　the　rooms　that　used　to　be　hers；　along　the　corridor；　toward　the　second　staircase。　The　door　of　her　old　dressing…room　stood　open；　and　she　glanced　in　with　a　yearning　look。　No；　never　more；　never　more　could　it　be　hers；　she　had　put　it　from　her　by　her　own　free　act　and　deed。　Not　less　comfortable　did　it　look　now　than　in　former　days；　but　it　had　passed　into　another's　occupancy。　The　fire　threw　its　blaze　on　the　furniture。　There　were　the　little　ornaments　on　the　large　dressing…　table；　as　they　used　to　be　in　/her/　time；　and　the　cut　glass　of　crystal　essence…bottles　was　glittering　in　the　firelight。　On　the　sofa　lay　a　shawl　and　a　book；　and　on　the　bed　a　silk　dress；　as　thrown　there　after　being　taken　off。　No；　those　rooms　were　not　for　her　now；　and　she　followed　Joyce　up　the　other　staircase。　The　bedroom　she　was　shown　to　was　commodious　and　well　furnished。　It　was　the　one　Miss　Carlyle　had　occupied　when　she；　Isabella；　had　been　taken　a　bride　to　East　Lynne；　though　that　lady　had　subsequently　quitted　it　for　one　on　the　lower　floor。　Joyce　put　down　the　waxlight　she　carried　and　looked　round。

〃Would　you　like　a　fire　lighted　here；　madame；　for　to…night？　Perhaps　it　will　feel　welcome　after　travelling。〃

〃Oh；　no；　thank　you；〃　was　the　answer。

Stephen；　with　somebody　to　help　him；　was　bringing　up　the　luggage。　Joyce　directed　him　where　to　place　it；　telling　him　to　uncord　the　boxes。　That　done；　the　man　left　the　room；　and　Joyce　turned　to　Lady　Isabel；　who　had　stood　like　a　statue；　never　so　much　as　attempting　to　remove　her　bonnet。

〃Can　I　do　anything　for　you；　madame？〃　she　asked。

Lady　Isabel　declined。　In　the　first　moments　of　her　arrival　she　was　dreading　detectionhow　was　it　possible　that　she　should　notand　she　feared　Joyce's　keen　eyes　more；　perhaps　than　she　feared　any　others。　She　was　only　wishing　that　the　girl　would　go　down。

〃Should　you　want　anything；　please　to　ring；　and　Hannah　will　come　up；〃　said　Joyce；　preparing　to　retire。　〃She　is　the　maid　who　waits　upon　the　gray　parlor；　and　will　do　anything　you　like　up　here。〃

Joyce　had　quitted　the　room；　and　Lady　Isabel　had　got　her　bonnet　off；　when　the　door　opened　again。　She　hastily　thrust　it　on；　somewhat　after　the　fashion　of　Richard　Hare's　rushing　on　his　hat　and　false　whiskers。　It　was　Joyce。

〃Do　you　think　you　shall　find　your　way　down　alone；　madame？〃

〃Yes；　I　can　do　that；〃　she　answered。　Find　her　way　in　that　house！

Lady　Isabel　slowly　took　her　things　off。　What　was　the　use　of　lingering　she　/must/　meet　their　eyes；　sooner　or　later。　Though；　in　truth；　there　was　little；　if　any；　fear　of　her　detection；　so　effectually　was　she　disguised　by　nature's　altering　hand；　or　by　art's。　It　was　with　the　utmost　difficulty　she　kept　tranquil。　Had　the　tears　once　burst　forth；　they　would　have　gone　on　to　hysterics；　without　the　possibility　of　control。　The　coming　home　again　to　East　Lynne！　Oh；　it　was　indeed　a　time　of　agitation；　terrible；　painful　agitation；　and　none　can　wonder　at　it。　Shall　I　tell　you　what　she　did？　Yes；　I　will　at　the　expense　of　ridicule。　She　knelt　down　by　the　bed　and　prayed　for　courage　to　go　through　the　task　she　had　undertaken；　prayed　for　self…controleven　she；　the　sinful；　who　had　quitted　that　house　under　circumstances　notorious。　But　I　am　not　sure　that　this　mode　of　return　to　it　was　an　expedition　precisely　calculated　to　call　down　a　blessing。

There　was　no　excuse　for　lingering　longer；　and　she　descended；　the　waxlight　in　her　hand。　Everything　was　ready　in　the　gray　parlorthe　tea…tray　on　the　table；　the　small　urn　hissing　away；　the　tea…caddy　in　proximity　to　it。　A　silver　rack　of　dry　toast；　butter；　and　a　hot　muffin　covered　with　a　small　silver　cover。　The　things　were　to　her　sight　as　old　facesthe　rack；　the　small　cover；　the　butter…dish；　the　tea…service　she　remembered　them　all；　not　the　urna　copper　oneshe　had　no　recollection　of　that。　It　had　possibly　been　bought　for　the　use　of　the　governess；　when　a　governess　came　into　use　at　East　Lynne。　Could　she　have　given　herself　leisure　to　reflect　on　the　matter；　she　might　have　told；　by　the　signs　observable　in　the　short　period　she　had　been　in　the　house；　that　governesses　of　East　Lynne　were　regarded　as　gentlewomen　treated　well　and　liberally。　Yes；　for　East　Lynne　owned　Mr。　Carlyle　for　its　master。

She　made　the　tea；　and　sat　down　with　what　appetite　she　might；　her　brain；　her　thoughts；　all　in　a　chaos　together。　She　wondered　whether　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Carlyle　were　at　dinnershe　wondered　in　what　part　of　the　house　were　the　children。　She　heard　bells　ring　now　and　then；　she　heard　servants　cross　and　recross　the　hall。　Her　meal　over；　she　rang　her　own。

A　neat…looking；　good…tempered　maid　answered　it；　Hannah；　who；　as　Joyce　had　informed　her；　waited　upon　the　gray　parlor；　and　was　at　her；　the　governess's；　especial　command。　She　took　away　the　things；　and　then　Lady　Isabel　sat　on　alone。　For　how　long；　she　scarcely　knew；　when　a　sound　caused　her　heart　to　beat　as　if　it　wou