letters to his son, 1749-第6章

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nd　must　be　made　use　of　in　the　course　of　the　world；　they　are　pleasing　to　one　party；　useful　to　the　other；　and　injurious　to　nobody。

What　I　have　said　with　regard　to　my　countrymen　in　general；　does　not　extend　to　them　all　without　exception；　there　are　some　who　have　both　merit　and　manners。　　Your　friend；　Mr。　Stevens；　is　among　the　latter；　and　I　approve　of　your　connection　with　him。　　You　may　happen　to　meet　with　some　others；　whose　friendship　may　be　of　great　use　to　you　hereafter；　either　from　their　superior　talents；　or　their　rank　and　fortune；　cultivate　them；　but　then　I　desire　that　Mr。　Harte　may　be　the　judge　of　those　persons。

Adieu　my　dear　child！　　Consider　seriously　the　importance　of　the　two　next　years　to　your　character；　your　figure；　and　your　fortune。




LETTER　LXXI

LONDON；　May　22；　O。　S。　　1749。

DEAR　BOY：　I　recommended　to　you；　in　my　last；　an　innocent　piece　of　art；　that　of　flattering　people　behind　their　backs；　in　presence　of　those　who；　to　make　their　own　court；　much　more　than　for　your　sake；　will　not　fail　to　repeat　and　even　amplify　the　praise　to　the　party　concerned。　　This　is；　of　all　flattery；　the　most　pleasing；　and　consequently　the　most　effectual。　There　are　other；　and　many　other；　inoffensive　arts　of　this　kind；　which　are　necessary　in　the　course　of　the　world；　and　which　he　who　practices　the　earliest；　will　please　the　most；　and　rise　the　soonest。　　The　spirits　and　vivacity　of　youth　are　apt　to　neglect　them　as　useless；　or　reject　them　as　troublesome。　　But　subsequent　knowledge　and　experience　of　the　world　reminds　us　of　their　importance；　commonly　when　it　is　too　late。　　The　principal　of　these　things　is　the　mastery　of　one's　temper；　and　that　coolness　of　mind；　and　serenity　of　countenance；　which　hinders　us　from　discovering　by　words；　actions；　or　even　looks；　those　passions　or　sentiments　by　which　we　are　inwardly　moved　or　agitated；　and　the　discovery　of　which　gives　cooler　and　abler　people　such　infinite　advantages　over　us；　not　only　in　great　business；　but　in　all　the　most　common　occurrences　of　life。　　A　man　who　does　not　possess　himself　enough　to　hear　disagreeable　things　without　visible　marks　of　anger　and　change　of　countenance；　or　agreeable　ones；　without　sudden　bursts　of　joy　and　expansion　of　countenance；　is　at　the　mercy　of　every　artful　knave　or　pert　coxcomb；　the　former　will　provoke　or　please　you　by　design；　to　catch　unguarded　words　or　looks　by　which　he　will　easily　decipher　the　secrets　of　your　heart；　of　which　you　should　keep　the　key　yourself；　and　trust　it　with　no　man　living。　The　latter　will；　by　his　absurdity；　and　without　intending　it；　produce　the　same　discoveries　of　which　other　people　will　avail　themselves。　　You　will　say；　possibly；　that　this　coolness　must　be　constitutional；　and　consequently　does　not　depend　upon　the　will：　and　I　will　allow　that　constitution　has　some　power　over　us；　but　I　will　maintain；　too；　that　people　very　often；　to　excuse　themselves；　very　unjustly　accuse　their　constitutions。　　Care　and　reflection；　if　properly　used；　will　get　the　better：　and　a　man　may　as　surely　get　a　habit　of　letting　his　reason　prevail　over　his　constitution；　as　of　letting；　as　most　people　do；　the　latter　prevail　over　the　former。　　If　you　find　yourself　subject　to　sudden　starts　of　passion　or　madness　（for　I　see　no　difference　between　them　but　in　their　duration）；　resolve　within　yourself；　at　least；　never　to　speak　one　word　while　you　feel　that　emotion　within　you。　　Determine；　too；　to　keep　your　countenance　as　unmoved　and　unembarrassed　as　possible；　which　steadiness　you　may　get　a　habit　of；　by　constant　attention。　　I　should　desire　nothing　better；　in　any　negotiation；　than　to　have　to　do　with　one　of　those　men　of　warm；　quick　passions；　which　I　would　take　care　to　set　in　motion。　　By　artful　provocations　I　would　extort　rash　unguarded　expressions；　and；　by　hinting　at　all　the　several　things　that　I　could　suspect；　infallibly　discover　the　true　one；　by　the　alteration　it　occasioned　in　the　countenance　of　the　person。　　'Volto　sciolto　con　pensieri　stretti'；　is　a　most　useful　maxim　in　business。　　It　is　so　necessary　at　some　games；　such　as　'Berlan　Quinze'；　etc。；　that　a　man　who　had　not　the　command　of　his　temper　and　countenance；　would　infallibly　be　outdone　by　those　who　had；　even　though　they　played　fair。　　Whereas；　in　business；　you　always　play　with　sharpers；　to　whom；　at　least；　you　should　give　no　fair　advantages。　　It　may　be　objected；　that　I　am　now　recommending　dissimulation　to　you；　I　both　own　and　justify　it。　　It　has　been　long　said；　'Qui　nescit　dissimulare　nescit　regnare'：　I　go　still　further；　and　say；　that　without　some　dissimulation　no　business　can　be　carried　on　at　all。　　It　is　SIMULATION　that　is　false；　mean；　and　criminal：　that　is　the　cunning　which　Lord　Bacon　calls　crooked　or　left…　handed　wisdom；　and　which　is　never　made　use　of　but　by　those　who　have　not　true　wisdom。　　And　the　same　great　man　says；　that　dissimulation　is　only　to　hide　our　own　cards；　whereas　simulation　is　put　on；　in　order　to　look　into　other　people's。　　Lord　Bolingbroke；　in　his　〃Idea　of　a　Patriot　King；〃　which　he　has　lately　published；　and　which　I　will　send　you　by　the　first　opportunity；　says　very　justly　that　simulation　is　a　STILETTO；not　only　an　unjust　but　an　unlawful　weapon；　and　the　use　of　it　very　rarely　to　be　excused；　never　justified。　　Whereas　dissimulation　is　a　shield；　as　secrecy　is　armor；　and　it　is　no　more　possible　to　preserve　secrecy　in　business；　without　same　degree　of　dissimulation；　than　it　is　to　succeed　in　business　without　secrecy。　　He　goes　on；　and　says；　that　those　two　arts　of　dissimulation　and　secrecy　are　like　the　alloy　mingled　with　pure　ore：　a　little　is　necessary；　and　will　not　debase　the　coin　below　its　proper　standard；　but　if　more　than　that　little　be　employed　（that　is；　simulation　and　cunning）；　the　coin　loses　its　currency；　and　the　coiner　his　credit。

Make　yourself　absolute　master；　therefore；　of　your　temper　and　your　countenance；　so　far；　at　least；　as　that　no　visible　change　do　appear　in　either；　whatever　you　may　feel　inwardly。　　This　may　be　difficult；　but　it　is　by　no　means　impossible；　and；　as　a　man　of　sense　never　attempts　impossibilities　on　one　hand；　on　the　other；　he　is　never　discouraged　by　difficulties：　on　the　contrary；　he　redoubles　his　industry　and　his　diligence；　he　perseveres；　and　infallibly　prevails　at　last。　　In　any　point　which　prudence　bids　you　pursue；　and　which　a　manifest　utility　attends；　let　difficulties　only　animate　your　industry；　not　deter　you　from　the　pursuit。　If　one　way　has　failed；　try　another；　be　active；　persevere；　and　you　will　conquer。　　Some　people　are　to　be　reasoned；　some　flattered；　some　intimidated；　and　some　teased　into　a　thing；　but；　in　general；　all　are　to　be　brought　into　it　at　last；　if　skillfully　applied　to；　properly　managed；　and　indefatigably　attacked　in　their　several　weak　places。　　The　time　should　likewise　be　judiciously　chosen；　every　man　has　his　'mollia　tempora'；　but　that　is　far　from　being　all　day　long；　and　you　would　choose　your　time　very　ill；　if　you　applied　to　a　man　about　one　business；　when　his　head　was　full　of　another；　or　when　his　heart　was　full　of　grief；　anger；　or　any　other　disagreeable　sentiment。

In　order　to　judge　of　the　inside　of　others；　study　your　own；　for　men　in　general　are　very　much　alike；　and　though　one　has　one　prevailing　passion；　and　another　has　another；　yet　their　operations　are　much　the　same；　and　whatever　engages　or　disgusts；　pleases　or　offends　you；　in　others　will；　'mutatis　mutandis'；　engage；　disgust；　please；　or　offend　others；　in　you。　Observe　with　the　utmost　attention　all　the　operations　of　your　own　mind；　the　nature　of　your　passions；　and　the　various　motives　that　determine　your　will；　and　you　may；　in　a　great　degree；　know　all　mankind。　　For　instance；　do　you　find　yourself　hurt　and　mortified　when　another　makes　you　feel　his　superiority；　and　your　own　inferiority；　in　knowledge；　parts；　rank；　or　fortune？　　You　will　certainly　take　great　care　not　to　make　a　person　whose　good　will；　good　word；　interest；　esteem；　or　friendship；　you　would　gain；　feel　that　superiority　in　you；　in　case　you　have　it。　　If　disagreeable　insinuations；　sly　sneers；　or　repeated　contradictions；　tease　and　irritate　you；　would　you　use　them　where　you　wish　to　engage　and　please？　　Surely　not；　and　I　hope　you　wish　to　engage　and　please；　almost　universally。　　The　temptation　of　saying　a　smart　and　witty　thing；　or　'bon　mot'；　and　the　malicious　applause　with　which　it　is　commonly　received；　has　made　people　who　can　say　them；　and；　still　oftener；　people　who　think　they　can；　but　cannot；　and　yet　try；　more　enemies；　and　implacable　ones　too；　than　any　one　other　thing　that　I　know　of：　When　such　things；　then；　shall　happen　to　be　said　at　your　expense　（as　sometimes　they　certainly　will）；　reflect　seriously　upon　the　sentiments　of　uneasiness；　anger；　and　resentment　which　they　excite　in　you；　and　consider　whether　it　can　be　prudent；　by　the　same　means；　to　excite　the　same　sentiments　in　others　against　you。　　It　is　a　decided　folly　to　lose　a　friend　for　a　jest；　but；　in　my　mind；　it　is　not　a　much　less　degree　of　folly　to　make　an　enemy　of　an　indifferent　and　neutral　person；　for　the　sake　of　a　'bon　mot'。　　When　things　of　this　kind　happen　to　be　said　of　you；　the　most　prudent　way　is　to　seem　not　to　suppose　that　they　are　meant　at　you；　but　to　dissemble　and　conceal　whatever　degree　of　anger　you　may　feel　inwardly；　but；　should　they　be　so　plain　that　you　cannot　be　supposed　ignorant　of　their　meaning；　to　join　in　the　laugh　of　the　company　against　yourself；　acknowledge　the　hit　to　be　a　fair　one；　and　the　jest　a　good　one；　and　play　off　the　whole　thing　in　seeming　good　humor；　but　by　no　means　reply　in　the　same　way；　which　only　shows　that　you　are　hurt；　and　publishes　the　victory　which　you　might　have　concealed。　　Should　the　thing　said；　indeed　injure　your　honor　or　moral　character；　there　is　but　one　proper　reply；　which　I　hope　you　never　will　have　occasion　to　make。

As　the　female　part　of　the　world　has　some　influence；　and　often　too　much；　over　the　male；　your　conduct　with　regard　to　women　（I　mean　women　of　fashion；　for　I　cannot　suppose　you　capable　of　conversing　with　any　others）　deserves　some　share　in　your　reflections。　　They　are　a　numerous　and　loquacious　body：　their　hatred　would　be　more　prejudicial　than　their　friendship　can　be　advantageous　to　you。　　A　general　complaisance　and　attention　to　that　sex　is　therefore　established　by　custom；　and　certainly　necessary。　　But　where　you　would　particularly　please　anyone；　whose　situation；　interest；　or　connections；　can　be　of　use　to　you；　you　must　show　particular　preference。　　The　least　attentions　please；　the　greatest　charm　them。　　The　innocent　but　pleasing　flattery　of　their　persons；　however　gross；　is　greedily　swallowed　and　kindly　digested：　but　a　seeming　regard　for　their　understandings；　a　seeming　desire　of；　and　deference　for；　their　advice；　together　with　a　seeming　confidence　in　their　moral　virtues；　turns　their　heads　entirely　in　your　favor。　　Nothing　shocks　them　so　much　as　the　least　appearance　of　that　contempt　which　they　are　apt　to　suspect　men　of　entertaining　of　their　capacities；　and　you　may　be　very　sure　of　gaining　their　friendship　if　you　seem　to　think　it　worth　gaining。　　Here　dissimulation　is　very　often　necessary；　and　even　simulation　sometimes　allowable；　which；　as　it　pleases　them；　may；　be　useful　to　you；　and　is　injurious　to　nobody。

This　torn　sheet；　which　I　did　not　observe　when　I　began　upon　it；　as　it　alters　the　figure；　shortens；　too；　the　length　of　my　letter。　　It　may　very　well　afford　it：　my　anxiety　for　you　carries　me　insensibly　to　these　lengths。　　I　am　apt　to　flatter　myself；　that