the legacy of cain-第47章

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learned　discretion；　and　they　failed。

〃How　did　you　arrive　at　your　discovery？〃　I　asked。　〃I　know　of
nobody　who　could　have　helped　you。〃

〃I　helped　myself；　sir！　I　reasoned　it　out。　A　wonderful　thing　for　a
woman　to　do；　isn't　it？　I　wonder　whether　you　could　follow　the
process？〃

My　reply　to　this　was　made　by　a　bow。　I　was　sure　of　my　command　over
my　face；　but　perfect　control　of　the　voice　is　a　rare　power。　Here
and　there；　a　great　actor　or　a　great　criminal　possesses　it。

Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　vanity　took　me　into　her　confidence。　〃In　the
first　place；〃　she　said；　〃Helena　is　plainly　the　wicked　one　of　the
two。　I　was　not　prejudiced　by　what　Selina　had　told　me　of　her：　I
saw　it；　and　felt　it；　before　I　had　been　five　minutes　in　her
company。　If　lying　tongues　ever　provoke　her　as　lying　tongues
provoked　her　mother；　she　will　follow　her　mother's　example。　Very
well。　Nowin　the　second　placethough　it　is　very　slight；　there
is　a　certain　something　in　her　hair　and　her　complexion　which
reminds　me　of　the　murderess：　there　is　no　other　resemblance；　I
admit。　In　the　third　place；　the　girls'　names　point　to　the　same
conclusion。　Mr。　Gracedieu　is　a　Protestant　and　a　Dissenter。　Would
he　call　a　child　of　his　own　by　the　name　of　a　Roman　Catholic　saint？
No！　he　would　prefer　a　name　in　the　Bible；　Eunice　is　_his_　child。
And　Helena　was　once　the　baby　whom　I　carried　into　the　prison。　Do
you　deny　that？〃

〃I　don't　deny　it。〃

Only　four　words！　But　they　were　deceitfully　spoken；　and　the
deceitpracticed　in　Eunice's　interest；　it　is　needless　to
saysucceeded。　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　object　in　visiting　me　was
attained；　I　had　confirmed　her　belief　in　the　delusion　that　Helena
was　the　adopted　child。

She　got　up　to　take　her　leave。　I　asked　if　she　proposed　remaining
in　London。　No；　she　was　returning　to　her　country　patients　that
night。

As　I　attended　her　to　the　house…door；　she　turned　to　me　with　her
mischievous　smile。　〃I　have　taken　some　trouble　in　finding　the　clew
to　the　Minister's　mystery；〃　she　said。　〃Don't　you　wonder　why？〃

〃If　I　did　wonder；〃　I　answered；　〃would　you　tell　me　why？〃

She　laughed　at　the　bare　idea　of　it。　〃Another　lesson；〃　she　said；
〃to　assist　a　helpless　man　in　studying　the　weaker　sex。　I　have
already　shown　you　that　a　woman　can　reason。　Learn　next　that　a
woman　can　keep　a　secret。　Good…by。　God　bless　you！〃

Of　the　events　which　followed　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　visit　it　is　not
possible　for　me；　I　am　thankful　to　say；　to　speak　from　personal
experience。　Ought　I　to　conclude　with　an　expression　of　repentance
for　the　act　of　deception　to　which　I　have　already　pleaded　guilty？
I　don't　know。　Yes！　the　force　of　circumstances　does　really　compel
me　to　say　it；　and　say　it　seriouslyI　declare；　on　my　word　of
honor；　I　don't　know。


Third　period：　1876。

_HELENA'S　DIARY　RESUMED。_


CHAPTER　LII。

HELENA'S　DIARY　RESUMED。



WHILE　my　father　remains　in　his　present　helpless　condition；
somebody　must　assume　a　position　of　command　in　this　house。　There
cannot　be　a　moment's　doubt　that　I　am　the　person　to　do　it。

In　my　agitated　state　of　mind；　sometimes　doubtful　of　Philip；
sometimes　hopeful　of　him；　I　find　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　simply
unendurable。　A　female　doctor　is；　under　any　circumstances；　a
creature　whom　I　detest。　She　is；　at　her　very　best；　a　bad　imitation
of　a　man。　The　Medical　Rubber　is　worse　than　this；　she　is　a　bad
imitation　of　a　mountebank。　Her　grinning　good…humor；　adopted　no
doubt　to　please　the　fools　who　are　her　patients；　and　her　impudent
enjoyment　of　hearing　herself　talk；　make　me　regret　for　the　first
time　in　my　life　that　I　am　a　young　lady。　If　I　belonged　to　the
lowest　order　of　the　population；　I　might　take　the　first　stick　I
could　find；　and　enjoy　the　luxury　of　giving　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　a　good
beating。

She　literally　haunts　the　house；　encouraged；　of　course；　by　her
wretched　little　dupe；　Miss　Jillgall。　Only　this　morning；　I　tried
what　a　broad　hint　would　do　toward　suggesting　that　her　visits　had
better　come　to　an　end。

〃Really；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen；〃　I　said；　〃I　must　request　Miss　Jillgall
to　moderate　her　selfish　enjoyment　of　your　company；　for　your　own
sake。　Your　time　is　too　valuable；　in　a　professional　sense；　to　be
wasted　on　an　idle　woman　who　has　no　sympathy　with　your　patients；
waiting　for　relief　perhaps；　and　waiting　in　vain。

She　listened　to　this；　all　smiles　and　good…humor：　〃My　dear；　do　you
know　how　I　might　answer　you；　if　I　was　an　ill…natured　woman？〃

〃I　have　no　curiosity　to　hear　it；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen。〃

〃I　might　ask　you；〃　she　persisted；　〃to　allow　me　to　mind　my　own
business。　But　I　am　incapable　of　making　an　ungrateful　return　for
the　interest　which　you　take　in　my　medical　welfare。　Let　me　venture
to　ask　if　you　understand　the　value　of　time。〃

〃Are　you　going　to　say　much　more；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen？〃

〃I　am　going　to　make　a　sensible　remark；　my　child。　If　you　feel
tired；　permit　mehere　is　a　chair。　Father　Time；　dear　Miss
Gracedieu；　has　always　been　a　good　friend　of　mine；　because　I　know
how　to　make　the　best　use　of　him。　The　author　of　the　famous　saying
_Tempus　fugit_　（you　understand　Latin；　of　course）　was；　I　take
leave　to　think；　an　idle　man。　The　more　I　have　to　do；　the　readier
Time　is　to　wait　for　me。　Let　me　impress　this　on　your　mind　by　some
interesting　examples。　The　greatest　conqueror　of　the
centuryNapoleonhad　time　enough　for　everything。　The　greatest
novelist　of　the　centurySir　Walter　Scotthad　time　enough　for
everything。　At　my　humble　distance；　I　imitate　those　illustrious
men；　and　my　patients　never　complain　of　me。〃

〃Have　you　done？〃　I　asked。

〃Yes；　dearfor　the　present。〃

〃You　are　a　clever　woman；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen　and　you　know　it。　You
have　an　eloquent　tongue；　and　you　know　it。　But　you　are　something
else；　which　you　don't　seem　to　be　aware　of。　You　are　a　Bore。〃

She　burst　out　laughing；　with　the　air　of　a　woman　who　thoroughly
enjoyed　a　good　joke。　I　looked　back　when　I　left　the　room；　and　saw
the　friend　of　Father　Time　in　the　easy　chair　opening　our
newspaper。

This　is　a　specimen　of　the　customary　encounter　of　our　wits。　I
place　it　on　record　in　my　Journal；　to　excuse　myself　_to_　myself。
When　she　left　us　at　last；　later　in　the　day；　I　sent　a　letter　after
her　to　the　hotel。　Not　having　kept　a　copy　of　it；　let　me　present
the　substance；　like　a　sermon；　under　three　heads：　I　begged　to　be
excused　for　speaking　plainly；　I　declared　that　there　was　a　total
want　of　sympathy　between　us；　on　my　side；　and　I　proposed　that　she
should　deprive　me　of　future　opportunities　of　receiving　her　in
this　house。　The　reply　arrived　immediately　in　these　terms：　〃Your
letter　received；　dear　girl。　I　am　not　in　the　least　angry；　partly
because　I　am　very　fond　of　you；　partly　because　I　know　that　you
will　ask　me　to　come　back　again。　P。　SPhilip　sends　his　love。〃

This　last　piece　of　insolence　was　unquestionably　a　lie。　Philip
detests　her。　They　are　both　staying　at　the　same　hotel。　But　I
happen　to　know　that　he　won't　even　look　at　her；　if　they　meet　by
accident　on　the　stairs。

People　who　can　enjoy　the　melancholy　spectacle　of　human　nature　in
a　state　of　degradation　would　be　at　a　loss　which　exhibition　to
preferan　ugly　old　maid　in　a　rage；　or　an　ugly　old　maid　in　tears。
Miss　Jillgall　presented　herself　in　both　characters　when　she　heard
what　had　happened。　To　my　mind；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　bosom…friend　is
a　creature　not　fit　to　be　seen　or　heard　when　she　loses　her　temper。
I　only　told　her　to　leave　the　room。　To　my　great　amusement；　she
shook　her　bony　fist　at　me；　and　expressed　a　frantic　wish：　〃Oh；　if
I　was　rich　enough　to　leave　this　wicked　house！〃　I　wonder　whether
there　is　insanity　（as　well　as　poverty）　in　Miss　Jillgall's　family？


Last　night　my　mind　was　in　a　harassed　state。　Philip　was；　as　usual；
the　cause　of　it。

Perhaps　I　acted　indiscreetly　when　I　insisted　on　his　leaving
London；　and　returning　to　this　place。　But　what　else　could　I　have
done？　It　was　not　merely　my　interest；　it　was　an　act　of　downright
necessity；　to　withdraw　him　from　the　influence　of　his　hateful
fatherwhom　I　now　regard　as
　the　one　serious　obstacle　to　my　marriage。　There　is　no　prospect　of
being　rid　of　Mr。　Dunboyne　the　elder　by　his　returning　to　Ireland。
He　is　trying　a　new　remedy　for　his　crippled　handelectricity。　I
wish　it　was　lightning；　to　kill　him！　If　I　had　given　that　wicked
old　man　the　chance；　I　am　firmly　convinced　he　would　not　have　let　a
day　pass　without　doing　his　best　to　depreciate　me　in　his　son's
estimation。　Besides；　there　was　the　risk；　if　I　had　allowed　Philip
to　remain　long　away　from　me；　of　losingno；　while　I　keep　my
beauty　I　cannot　be　in　such　danger　as　thatlet　me　say；　of
permitting　time　and　absence　to　weaken　my　hold　on　him。　However
sullen　and　silent　he　may　be；　when　we　meetand　I　find　him　in　that
condition　far　too　oftenI　can；　sooner　or　later；　recall　him　to
his　brighter　self。　My　eyes　preserve　their　charm；　my　talk　can
still　amuse　him；　and；　better　even　than　that；　I　feel　the　answering
thrill　in　him；　which　tells　me　how　precious　my　kisses　arenot　too
lavishly　bestowed！　But　the　time　when　I　am　obliged　to　leave　him　to
himself　is　the　time　that　I　dread。　How　do　I　know　that　his　thoughts
are　not　wandering　away　to　Eunice？　He　denies　it；　he　declares　that
he　only　went　to　the　farmhouse　to　express　his　regret　for　his　own
thoughtless　conduct；　and　to　offer　her　the　brotherly　regard　due　to
the　sister　of　his　promised　wife。　Can　I　believe　it？　Oh；　what　would
I　not　give　to　be　able　to　believe　it！　How　can　I　feel　sure　that　her
refusal　to　see　him　was　not　a　cunning　device　to　make　him　long　for
another　interview；　and　plan　perhaps　in　private　to　go　back　and　try
again。　Marriage！　Nothing　will　quiet　these　frightful　doubts　of
mine；　nothing　will　reward　me　for　all　that　I　have　suffered；
nothing　will　warm　my　heart　with　the　delightful　sense　of　triumph
over　Eunice；　but　my　marriage　to　Philip。　And　what　does　he　say；
when　I　urge　it　on　him？yes；　I　have　fallen　as　low　as　that；　in　the
despair　which　sometimes　possesses　me。　He　has　his　answer；　always
the　same；　and　always　ready：　〃How　are　we　to　live？　where　is　the
money？〃　The　maddening　part　of　it　is　that　I　cannot　accuse　him　of
raising　objections　that　don't　exist。　We　are　poorer　than　ever
here；　since　my　father's　illnessand　Philip's　allowance　is　barely
enough　to　suffice　him　as　a　single　man。　Oh；　how　I　hate　the　rich！

It　was　useless　to　think　of　going　to　bed。　How　could　I　hope　to
sleep；　with　my　head　throbbing；　and　my　thoughts　in　this　disturbed
state？　I　put　on　my　comfortable　dressing…gown；　and　sat　down　to　try
what　reading　would　do　to　quiet　my　mind。

I　had　borrowed　the　book　from　the　Library；　to　which　I　have　been　a
subscriber　in　secret　for　some　time　past。　It　was　an　old　volume；
full　of　what　we　should　now　call　Gossip；　relating　strange
adventures；　and　scandalous　incidents　in　family　history　which　had
been　concealed　from　public　notice。

One　of　these　last　romances　in　real　life　caught　a　strong　hold　on
my　interest。

It　was　a　strange　case　of　intended　poisoning；　which　had　never　been
carried　out。　A　young　married　lady　of　rank；　whose　name　was
concealed　under　an　initial　letter；　had　suffered　some　unendurable
wrong　（which　was　not　mentioned）　at　the　hands　of　her　husband's
mother。　The　wife　was　described　as　a　woman　of　strong　passions；　who
had　determined　on　a　terrible　revenge　by　taking　the　life　of　her
mother…in…law。　There　were　difficulties　in　the　way　of　her
committing　the　crime　without　an　accomplice　to　help　her；　and　she
decided　on　taking　her　maid；　an　elderly　woman；　into　her
con