erewhon-第14章

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Erewhonian　will　suffer　no　social　inconvenience　in　consequence；　we
will　say；　of　having　committed　fraud。　　Friends　will　fall　away　from
him　because　of　his　being　less　pleasant　company；　just　as　we
ourselves　are　disinclined　to　make　companions　of　those　who　are
either　poor　or　poorly。　　No　one　with　any　sense　of　self…respect　will
place　himself　on　an　equality　in　the　matter　of　affection　with　those
who　are　less　lucky　than　himself　in　birth；　health；　money；　good
looks；　capacity；　or　anything　else。　　Indeed；　that　dislike　and　even
disgust　should　be　felt　by　the　fortunate　for　the　unfortunate；　or　at
any　rate　for　those　who　have　been　discovered　to　have　met　with　any　of
the　more　serious　and　less　familiar　misfortunes；　is　not　only
natural；　but　desirable　for　any　society；　whether　of　man　or　brute。

The　fact；　therefore；　that　the　Erewhonians　attach　none　of　that　guilt
to　crime　which　they　do　to　physical　ailments；　does　not　prevent　the
more　selfish　among　them　from　neglecting　a　friend　who　has　robbed　a
bank；　for　instance；　till　he　has　fully　recovered；　but　it　does
prevent　them　from　even　thinking　of　treating　criminals　with　that
contemptuous　tone　which　would　seem　to　say；　〃I；　if　I　were　you；
should　be　a　better　man　than　you　are；〃　a　tone　which　is　held　quite
reasonable　in　regard　to　physical　ailment。　　Hence；　though　they
conceal　ill　health　by　every　cunning　and　hypocrisy　and　artifice
which　they　can　devise；　they　are　quite　open　about　the　most　flagrant
mental　diseases；　should　they　happen　to　exist；　which　to　do　the
people　justice　is　not　often。　　Indeed；　there　are　some　who　are；　so　to
speak；　spiritual　valetudinarians；　and　who　make　themselves
exceedingly　ridiculous　by　their　nervous　supposition　that　they　are
wicked；　while　they　are　very　tolerable　people　all　the　time。　　This
however　is　exceptional；　and　on　the　whole　they　use　much　the　same
reserve　or　unreserve　about　the　state　of　their　moral　welfare　as　we
do　about　our　health。

Hence　all　the　ordinary　greetings　among　ourselves；　such　as；　How　do
you　do？　and　the　like；　are　considered　signs　of　gross　ill…breeding；
nor　do　the　politer　classes　tolerate　even　such　a　common
complimentary　remark　as　telling　a　man　that　he　is　looking　well。
They　salute　each　other　with；　〃I　hope　you　are　good　this　morning；〃　or
〃I　hope　you　have　recovered　from　the　snappishness　from　which　you
were　suffering　when　I　last　saw　you；〃　and　if　the　person　saluted　has
not　been　good；　or　is　still　snappish；　he　says　so　at　once　and　is
condoled　with　accordingly。　　Indeed；　the　straighteners　have　gone　so
far　as　to　give　names　from　the　hypothetical　language　（as　taught　at
the　Colleges　of　Unreason）；　to　all　known　forms　of　mental
indisposition；　and　to　classify　them　according　to　a　system　of　their
own；　which；　though　I　could　not　understand　it；　seemed　to　work　well
in　practice；　for　they　are　always　able　to　tell　a　man　what　is　the
matter　with　him　as　soon　as　they　have　heard　his　story；　and　their
familiarity　with　the　long　names　assures　him　that　they　thoroughly
understand　his　case。

The　reader　will　have　no　difficulty　in　believing　that　the　laws
regarding　ill　health　were　frequently　evaded　by　the　help　of
recognised　fictions；　which　every　one　understood；　but　which　it　would
be　considered　gross　ill…breeding　to　even　seem　to　understand。　　Thus；
a　day　or　two　after　my　arrival　at　the　Nosnibors'；　one　of　the　many
ladies　who　called　on　me　made　excuses　for　her　husband's　only　sending
his　card；　on　the　ground　that　when　going　through　the　public　market…
place　that　morning　he　had　stolen　a　pair　of　socks。　　I　had　already
been　warned　that　I　should　never　show　surprise；　so　I　merely
expressed　my　sympathy；　and　said　that　though　I　had　only　been　in　the
capital　so　short　a　time；　I　had　already　had　a　very　narrow　escape
from　stealing　a　clothes…brush；　and　that　though　I　had　resisted
temptation　so　far；　I　was　sadly　afraid　that　if　I　saw　any　object　of
special　interest　that　was　neither　too　hot　nor　too　heavy；　I　should
have　to　put　myself　in　the　straightener's　hands。

Mrs。　Nosnibor；　who　had　been　keeping　an　ear　on　all　that　I　had　been
saying；　praised　me　when　the　lady　had　gone。　　Nothing；　she　said；
could　have　been　more　polite　according　to　Erewhonian　etiquette。　　She
then　explained　that　to　have　stolen　a　pair　of　socks；　or　〃to　have　the
socks〃　（in　more　colloquial　language）；　was　a　recognised　way　of
saying　that　the　person　in　question　was　slightly　indisposed。

In　spite　of　all　this　they　have　a　keen　sense　of　the　enjoyment
consequent　upon　what　they　call　being　〃well。〃　　They　admire　mental
health　and　love　it　in　other　people；　and　take　all　the　pains　they　can
（consistently　with　their　other　duties）　to　secure　it　for　themselves。
They　have　an　extreme　dislike　to　marrying　into　what　they　consider
unhealthy　families。　　They　send　for　the　straightener　at　once
whenever　they　have　been　guilty　of　anything　seriously　flagitious
often　even　if　they　think　that　they　are　on　the　point　of　committing
it；　and　though　his　remedies　are　sometimes　exceedingly　painful；
involving　close　confinement　for　weeks；　and　in　some　cases　the　most
cruel　physical　tortures；　I　never　heard　of　a　reasonable　Erewhonian
refusing　to　do　what　his　straightener　told　him；　any　more　than　of　a
reasonable　Englishman　refusing　to　undergo　even　the　most　frightful
operation；　if　his　doctors　told　him　it　was　necessary。

We　in　England　never　shrink　from　telling　our　doctor　what　is　the
matter　with　us　merely　through　the　fear　that　he　will　hurt　us。　　We
let　him　do　his　worst　upon　us；　and　stand　it　without　a　murmur；
because　we　are　not　scouted　for　being　ill；　and　because　we　know　that
the　doctor　is　doing　his　best　to　cure　us；　and　that　he　can　judge　of
our　case　better　than　we　can；　but　we　should　conceal　all　illness　if
we　were　treated　as　the　Erewhonians　are　when　they　have　anything　the
matter　with　them；　we　should　do　the　same　as　with　moral　and
intellectual　diseases；we　should　feign　health　with　the　most
consummate　art；　till　we　were　found　out；　and　should　hate　a　single
flogging　given　in　the　way　of　mere　punishment　more　than　the
amputation　of　a　limb；　if　it　were　kindly　and　courteously　performed
from　a　wish　to　help　us　out　of　our　difficulty；　and　with　the　full
consciousness　on　the　part　of　the　doctor　that　it　was　only　by　an
accident　of　constitution　that　he　was　not　in　the　like　plight
himself。　　So　the　Erewhonians　take　a　flogging　once　a　week；　and　a
diet　of　bread　and　water　for　two　or　three　months　together；　whenever
their　straightener　recommends　it。

I　do　not　suppose　that　even　my　host；　on　having　swindled　a　confiding
widow　out　of　the　whole　of　her　property；　was　put　to　more　actual
suffering　than　a　man　will　readily　undergo　at　the　hands　of　an
English　doctor。　　And　yet　he　must　have　had　a　very　bad　time　of　it。
The　sounds　I　heard　were　sufficient　to　show　that　his　pain　was
exquisite；　but　he　never　shrank　from　undergoing　it。　　He　was　quite
sure　that　it　did　him　good；　and　I　think　he　was　right。　　I　cannot
believe　that　that　man　will　ever　embezzle　money　again。　　He　maybut
it　will　be　a　long　time　before　he　does　so。

During　my　confinement　in　prison；　and　on　my　journey；　I　had　already
discovered　a　great　deal　of　the　above；　but　it　still　seemed
surpassingly　strange；　and　I　was　in　constant　fear　of　committing　some
piece　of　rudeness；　through　my　inability　to　look　at　things　from　the
same　stand…point　as　my　neighbours；　but　after　a　few　weeks'　stay　with
the　Nosnibors；　I　got　to　understand　things　better；　especially　on
having　heard　all　about　my　host's　illness；　of　which　he　told　me　fully
and　repeatedly。

It　seemed　that　he　had　been　on　the　Stock　Exchange　of　the　city　for
many　years　and　had　amassed　enormous　wealth；　without　exceeding　the
limits　of　what　was　generally　considered　justifiable；　or　at　any
rate；　permissible　dealing；　but　at　length　on　several　occasions　he
had　become　aware　of　a　desire　to　make　money　by　fraudulent
representations；　and　had　actually　dealt　with　two　or　three　sums　in　a
way　which　had　made　him　rather　uncomfortable。　　He　had　unfortunately
made　light　of　it　and　pooh…poohed　the　ailment；　until　circumstances
eventually　presented　themselves　which　enabled　him　to　cheat　upon　a
very　considerable　scale；he　told　me　what　they　were；　and　they　were
about　as　bad　as　anything　could　be；　but　I　need　not　detail　them；he
seized　the　opportunity；　and　became　aware；　when　it　was　too　late；
that　he　must　be　seriously　out　of　order。　　He　had　neglected　himself
too　long。

He　drove　home　at　once；　broke　the　news　to　his　wife　and　daughters　as
gently　as　he　could；　and　sent　off　for　one　of　the　most　celebrated
straighteners　of　the　kingdom　to　a　consultation　with　the　family
practitioner；　for　the　case　was　plainly　serious。　　On　the　arrival　of
the　straightener　he　told　his　story；　and　expressed　his　fear　that　his
morals　must　be　permanently　impaired。

The　eminent　man　reassured　him　with　a　few　cheering　words；　and　then
proceeded　to　make　a　more　careful　diagnosis　of　the　case。　　He
inquired　concerning　Mr。　Nosnibor's　parentshad　their　moral　health
been　good？　　He　was　answered　that　there　had　not　been　anything
seriously　amiss　with　them；　but　that　his　maternal　grandfather；　whom
he　was　supposed　to　resemble　somewhat　in　person；　had　been　a
consummate　scoundrel　and　had　ended　his　days　in　a　hospital；while　a
brother　of　his　father's；　after　having　led　a　most　flagitious　life
for　many　years；　had　been　at　last　cured　by　a　philosopher　of　a　new
school；　which　as　far　as　I　could　understand　it　bore　much　the　same
relation　to　the　old　as　homoeopathy　to　allopathy。　　The　straightener
shook　his　head　at　this；　and　laughingly　replied　that　the　cure　must
have　been　due　to　nature。　　After　a　few　more　questions　he　wrote　a
prescription　and　departed。

I　saw　the　prescription。　　It　ordered　a　fine　to　the　State　of　double
the　money　embezzled；　no　food　but　bread　and　milk　for　six　months；　and
a　severe　flogging　once　a　month　for　twelve。　　I　was　surprised　to　see
that　no　part　of　the　fine　was　to　be　paid　to　the　poor　woman　whose
money　had　been　embezzled；　but　on　inquiry　I　learned　that　she　would
have　been　prosecuted　in　the　Misplaced　Confidence　Court；　if　she　had
not　escaped　its　clutches　by　dying　shortly　after　she　had　discovered
her　loss。

As　for　Mr。　Nosnibor；　he　had　received　his　eleventh　flogging　on　the
day　of　my　arrival。　　I　saw　him　later　on　the　same　afternoon；　and　he
was　still　twinged；　but　there　had　been　no　escape　from　following　out
the　straightener's　prescription；　for　the　so…called　sanitary　laws　of
Erewhon　are　very　rigorous；　and　unless　the　straightener　was
satisfied　that　his　orders　had　been　obeyed；　the　patient　would　have
been　taken　to　a　hospital　（as　the　poor　are）；　and　would　have　been
much　worse　off。　　Such　at　least　is　the　law；　but　it　is　never
necessary　to　enforce　it。

On　a　subsequent　occasion　I　was　present　at　an　interview　between　Mr。
Nosnibor　and　the　family　straightener；　who　was　considered　competent
to　watch　the　completion　of　the　cure。　　I　was　struck　with　the
delicacy　with　which　he　avoided　even　the　remotest　semblance　of
inquiry　after　the　physical　well…being　of　his　patient；　though　there
was　a　certain　yellowness　about　my　host's　eyes　which　argued　a
bilious　habit　of　body。　　To　have　taken　notice　of　this　would　have
been　a　gross　breach　of　professional　etiquette。　　I　was　told；
however；　that　a　straightener　sometimes　thinks　it　right　to　glance　at
the　possibility　of　some　slight　physical　disorder　if　he　finds　it
important　in　order　to　assist　him　in　his　diagnosis；　but　the　answers
which　he　gets　are　generally　untrue　or