the magic skin-第45章

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whole　roomful　began　to　whisper　to　each　other；　and　turned　their　eyes

upon　the　invalid；　as　though　he　had　given　some　serious　offence。

Raphael；　who　had　never　quite　managed　to　rid　himself　of　the　bashfulness

of　his　early　youth；　felt　a　momentary　confusion；　then　he　shook　off　his

torpor；　exerted　his　faculties；　and　asked　himself　the　meaning　of　this

strange　scene。



A　sudden　and　rapid　impulse　quickened　his　brain；　the　past　weeks

appeared　before　him　in　a　clear　and　definite　vision；　the　reasons　for

the　feelings　he　inspired　in　others　stood　out　for　him　in　relief；　like

the　veins　of　some　corpse　which　a　naturalist；　by　some　cunningly

contrived　injection；　has　colored　so　as　to　show　their　least

ramifications。



He　discerned　himself　in　this　fleeting　picture；　he　followed　out　his　own

life　in　it；　thought　by　thought；　day　after　day。　He　saw　himself；　not

without　astonishment；　an　absent　gloomy　figure　in　the　midst　of　these

lively　folk；　always　musing　over　his　own　fate；　always　absorbed　by　his

own　sufferings；　seemingly　impatient　of　the　most　harmless　chat。　He　saw

how　he　had　shunned　the　ephemeral　intimacies　that　travelers　are　so

ready　to　establishno　doubt　because　they　feel　sure　of　never　meeting

each　other　againand　how　he　had　taken　little　heed　of　those　about　him。

He　saw　himself　like　the　rocks　without；　unmoved　by　the　caresses　or　the

stormy　surgings　of　the　waves。



Then；　by　a　gift　of　insight　seldom　accorded；　he　read　the　thoughts　of

all　those　about　him。　The　light　of　a　candle　revealed　the　sardonic

profile　and　yellow　cranium　of　an　old　man；　he　remembered　now　that　he

had　won　from　him；　and　had　never　proposed　that　the　other　should　have

his　revenge；　a　little　further　on　he　saw　a　pretty　woman；　whose　lively

advances　he　had　met　with　frigid　coolness；　there　was　not　a　face　there

that　did　not　reproach　him　with　some　wrong　done；　inexplicably　to　all

appearance；　but　the　real　offence　in　every　case　lay　in　some

mortification；　some　invisible　hurt　dealt　to　self…love。　He　had

unintentionally　jarred　on　all　the　small　susceptibilities　of　the　circle

round　about　him。



His　guests　on　various　occasions；　and　those　to　whom　he　had　lent　his

horses；　had　taken　offence　at　his　luxurious　ways；　their　ungraciousness

had　been　a　surprise　to　him；　he　had　spared　them　further　humiliations　of

that　kind；　and　they　had　considered　that　he　looked　down　upon　them；　and

had　accused　him　of　haughtiness　ever　since。　He　could　read　their　inmost

thoughts　as　he　fathomed　their　natures　in　this　way。　Society　with　its

polish　and　varnish　grew　loathsome　to　him。　He　was　envied　and　hated　for

his　wealth　and　superior　ability；　his　reserve　baffled　the　inquisitive；

his　humility　seemed　like　haughtiness　to　these　petty　superficial

natures。　He　guessed　the　secret　unpardonable　crime　which　he　had

committed　against　them；　he　had　overstepped　the　limits　of　the

jurisdiction　of　their　mediocrity。　He　had　resisted　their　inquisitorial

tyranny；　he　could　dispense　with　their　society；　and　all　of　them；

therefore；　had　instinctively　combined　to　make　him　feel　their　power；

and　to　take　revenge　upon　this　incipient　royalty　by　submitting　him　to　a

kind　of　ostracism；　and　so　teaching　him　that　they　in　their　turn　could

do　without　him。



Pity　came　over　him；　first　of　all；　at　this　aspect　of　mankind；　but　very

soon　he　shuddered　at　the　thought　of　the　power　that　came　thus；　at　will；

and　flung　aside　for　him　the　veil　of　flesh　under　which　the　moral　nature

is　hidden　away。　He　closed　his　eyes；　so　as　to　see　no　more。　A　black

curtain　was　drawn　all　at　once　over　this　unlucky　phantom　show　of　truth；

but　still　he　found　himself　in　the　terrible　loneliness　that　surrounds

every　power　and　dominion。　Just　then　a　violent　fit　of　coughing　seized

him。　Far　from　receiving　one　single　wordindifferent；　and　meaningless；

it　is　true；　but　still　containing；　among　well…bred　people　brought

together　by　chance；　at　least　some　pretence　of　civil　commiserationhe

now　heard　hostile　ejaculations　and　muttered　complaints。　Society　there

assembled　disdained　any　pantomime　on　his　account；　perhaps　because　he

had　gauged　its　real　nature　too　well。



〃His　complaint　is　contagious。〃



〃The　president　of　the　Club　ought　to　forbid　him　to　enter　the　salon。〃



〃It　is　contrary　to　all　rules　and　regulations　to　cough　in　that　way！〃



〃When　a　man　is　as　ill　as　that；　he　ought　not　to　come　to　take　the

waters〃



〃He　will　drive　me　away　from　the　place。〃



Raphael　rose　and　walked　about　the　rooms　to　screen　himself　from　their

unanimous　execrations。　He　thought　to　find　a　shelter；　and　went　up　to　a

young　pretty　lady　who　sat　doing　nothing；　minded　to　address　some　pretty

speeches　to　her；　but　as　he　came　towards　her；　she　turned　her　back　upon

him；　and　pretended　to　be　watching　the　dancers。　Raphael　feared　lest　he

might　have　made　use　of　the　talisman　already　that　evening；　and　feeling

that　he　had　neither　the　wish　nor　the　courage　to　break　into　the

conversation；　he　left　the　salon　and　took　refuge　in　the　billiard…room。

No　one　there　greeted　him；　nobody　spoke　to　him；　no　one　sent　so　much　as

a　friendly　glance　in　his　direction。　His　turn　of　mind；　naturally

meditative；　had　discovered　instinctively　the　general　grounds　and

reasons　for　the　aversion　he　inspired。　This　little　world　was　obeying；

unconsciously　perhaps；　the　sovereign　law　which　rules　over　polite

society；　its　inexorable　nature　was　becoming　apparent　in　its　entirety

to　Raphael's　eyes。　A　glance　into　the　past　showed　it　to　him；　as　a　type

completely　realized　in　Foedora。



He　would　no　more　meet　with　sympathy　here　for　his　bodily　ills　than　he

had　received　it　at　her　hands　for　the　distress　in　his　heart。　The

fashionable　world　expels　every　suffering　creature　from　its　midst；　just

as　the　body　of　a　man　in　robust　health　rejects　any　germ　of　disease。　The

world　holds　suffering　and　misfortune　in　abhorrence；　it　dreads　them

like　the　plague；　it　never　hesitates　between　vice　and　trouble；　for　vice

is　a　luxury。　Ill…fortune　may　possess　a　majesty　of　its　own；　but　society

can　belittle　it　and　make　it　ridiculous　by　an　epigram。　Society　draws

caricatures；　and　in　this　way　flings　in　the　teeth　of　fallen　kings　the

affronts　which　it　fancies　it　has　received　from　them；　society；　like　the

Roman　youth　at　the　circus；　never　shows　mercy　to　the　fallen　gladiator；

mockery　and　money　are　its　vital　necessities。　〃Death　to　the　weak！〃　That

is　the　oath　taken　by　this　kind　of　Equestrian　order；　instituted　in

their　midst　by　all　the　nations　of　the　world；　everywhere　it　makes　for

the　elevation　of　the　rich；　and　its　motto　is　deeply　graven　in　hearts

that　wealth　has　turned　to　stone；　or　that　have　been　reared　in

aristocratic　prejudices。



Assemble　a　collection　of　school…boys　together。　That　will　give　you　a

society　in　miniature；　a　miniature　which　represents　life　more　truly；

because　it　is　so　frank　and　artless；　and　in　it　you　will　always　find

poor　isolated　beings；　relegated　to　some　place　in　the　general

estimations　between　pity　and　contempt；　on　account　of　their　weakness

and　suffering。　To　these　the　Evangel　promises　heaven　hereafter。　Go

lower　yet　in　the　scale　of　organized　creation。　If　some　bird　among　its

fellows　in　the　courtyard　sickens；　the　others　fall　upon　it　with　their

beaks；　pluck　out　its　feathers；　and　kill　it。　The　whole　world；　in

accordance　with　its　character　of　egotism；　brings　all　its　severity　to

bear　upon　wretchedness　that　has　the　hardihood　to　spoil　its

festivities；　and　to　trouble　its　joys。



Any　sufferer　in　mind　or　body；　any　helpless　or　poor　man；　is　a　pariah。

He　had　better　remain　in　his　solitude；　if　he　crosses　the　boundary…line；

he　will　find　winter　everywhere；　he　will　find　freezing　cold　in　other

men's　looks；　manners；　words；　and　hearts；　and　lucky　indeed　is　he　if　he

does　not　receive　an　insult　where　he　expected　that　sympathy　would　be

expended　upon　him。　Let　the　dying　keep　to　their　bed　of　neglect；　and　age

sit　lonely　by　its　fireside。　Portionless　maids；　freeze　and　burn　in　your

solitary　attics。　If　the　world　tolerates　misery　of　any　kind；　it　is　to

turn　it　to　account　for　its　own　purposes；　to　make　some　use　of　it；

saddle　and　bridle　it；　put　a　bit　in　its　mouth；　ride　it　about；　and　get

some　fun　out　of　it。



Crotchety　spinsters；　ladies'　companions；　put　a　cheerful　face　upon　it；

endure　the　humors　of　your　so…called　benefactress；　carry　her　lapdogs

for　her；　you　have　an　English　poodle　for　your　rival；　and　you　must　seek

to　understand　the　moods　of　your　patroness；　and　amuse　her；　andkeep

silence　about　yourselves。　As　for　you；　unblushing　parasite；　uncrowned

king　of　unliveried　servants；　leave　your　real　character　at　home；　let

your　digestion　keep　pace　with　your　host's　laugh　when　he　laughs；　mingle

your　tears　with　his；　and　find　his　epigrams　amusing；　if　you　want　to

relieve　your　mind　about　him；　wait　till　he　is　ruined。　That　is　the　way

the　world　shows　its　respect　for　the　unfortunate；　it　persecutes　them；

or　slays　them　in　the　dust。



Such　thoughts　as　these　welled　up　in　Raphael's　heart　with　the

suddenness　of　poetic　inspiration。　He　looked　around　him；　and　felt　the

influence　of　the　forbidding　gloom　that　society　breathes　out　in　order

to　rid　itself　of　the　unfortunate；　it　nipped　his　soul　more　effectually

than　the　east　wind　grips　the　body　in　December。　He　locked　his　arms　over

his　chest；　set　his　back　against　the　wall；　and　fell　into　a　deep

melancholy。　He　mused　upon　the　meagre　happiness　that　this　depressing

way　of　living　can　give。　What　did　it　amount　to？　Amusement　with　no

pleasure　in　it；　gaiety　without　gladness；　joyless　festivity；　fevered

dreams　empty　of　all　delight；　firewood　or　ashes　on　the　hearth　without　a

spark　of　flame　in　them。　When　he　raised　his　head；　he　found　himself

alone；　all　the　billiard　players　had　gone。



〃I　have　only　to　let　them　know　my　power　to　make　them　worship　my

coughing　fits；〃　he　said　to　himself；　and　wrapped　himself　against　the

world　in　the　cloak　of　his　contempt。



Next　day　the　resident　doctor　came　to　call　upon　him；　and　took　an

anxious　interest　in　his　health。　Raphael　felt　a　thrill　of　joy　at　the

friendly　words　addressed　to　him。　The　doctor's　face；　to　his　thinking；

wore　an　expression　that　was　kind　and　pleasant；　the　pale　curls　of　his

wig　seemed　redolent　of　philanthropy；　the　square　cut　of　his　coat；　the

loose　folds　of　his　trousers；　his　big　Quaker…like　shoes；　everything

about　him　down　to　the　powder　shaken　from　his　queue　and　dusted　in　a

circle　upon　his　slightly　stooping　shoulders；　revealed　an　apostolic

nature；　and　spoke　of　Christian　charity　and　of　the　self…sacrifice　of　a

man；　who；　out　of　sheer　devotion　to　his　patients；　had　compelled　himself

to　learn　to　play　whist　and　tric…trac　so　well　that　he　never　lost　money

to　any　of　them。



〃My　Lord　Marquis；〃　said　he；　after　a　long　talk　with　Raphael；　〃I　can

dispel　your　uneasiness　beyond　all　doubt。　I　know　your　constitution　well

enough　by　this　time　to　assure　you　that　the　doctors　in　Paris；　whose

great　abilities　I　know；　are　mistaken　as　to　the　nature　of　your

complaint。　You　can　live　as　long　as　Methuselah；　my　Lord　Marquis；

accidents　only　excepted。　Your　lungs　are　as　sound　as　a　blacksmith's

bellows；　your　stomach　wo