the magic skin-第26章

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found　myself；　and　asked　her　to　help　me。



〃　'You　do　not　wish　to　go　to　the　pawnbroker's　yourself；　M。　Raphael；'

she　answered；　'and　yet　you　would　send　me！'



〃I　blushed　in　confusion　at　the　child's　reasoning。　She　took　my　hand　in

hers　as　if　she　wanted　to　compensate　for　this　home…truth　by　her　light

touch　upon　it。



〃　'Oh；　I　would　willingly　go；'　she　said；　'but　it　is　not　necessary。　I

found　two　five…franc　pieces　at　the　back　of　the　piano；　that　had　slipped

without　your　knowledge　between　the　frame　and　the　keyboard；　and　I　laid

them　on　your　table。'



〃　'You　will　soon　be　coming　into　some　money；　M。　Raphael；'　said　the　kind

mother；　showing　her　face　between　the　curtains；　'and　I　can　easily　lend

you　a　few　crowns　meanwhile。'



〃　'Oh；　Pauline！'　I　cried；　as　I　pressed　her　hand；　'how　I　wish　that　I

were　rich！'



〃　'Bah！　why　should　you？'　she　said　petulantly。　Her　hand　shook　in　mine

with　the　throbbing　of　her　pulse；　she　snatched　it　away；　and　looked　at

both　of　mine。



〃　'You　will　marry　a　rich　wife；'　she　said；　'but　she　will　give　you　a

great　deal　of　trouble。　Ah；　Dieu！　she　will　be　your　death；I　am　sure　of

it。'



〃In　her　exclamation　there　was　something　like　belief　in　her　mother's

absurd　superstitions。



〃　'You　are　very　credulous；　Pauline！'



〃　'The　woman　whom　you　will　love　is　going　to　kill　youthere　is　no

doubt　of　it；'　she　said；　looking　at　me　with　alarm。



〃She　took　up　her　brush　again　and　dipped　it　in　the　color；　her　great

agitation　was　evident；　she　looked　at　me　no　longer。　I　was　ready　to　give

credence　just　then　to　superstitious　fancies；　no　man　is　utterly

wretched　so　long　as　he　is　superstitious；　a　belief　of　that　kind　is

often　in　reality　a　hope。



〃I　found　that　those　two　magnificent　five…franc　pieces　were　lying；　in

fact；　upon　my　table　when　I　reached　my　room。　During　the　first　confused

thoughts　of　early　slumber；　I　tried　to　audit　my　accounts　so　as　to

explain　this　unhoped…for　windfall；　but　I　lost　myself　in　useless

calculations；　and　slept。　Just　as　I　was　leaving　my　room　to　engage　a　box

the　next　morning；　Pauline　came　to　see　me。



〃　'Perhaps　your　ten　francs　is　not　enough；'　said　the　amiable；　kind…

hearted　girl；　'my　mother　told　me　to　offer　you　this　money。　Take　it；

please；　take　it！'



〃She　laid　three　crowns　upon　the　table；　and　tried　to　escape；　but　I

would　not　let　her　go。　Admiration　dried　the　tears　that　sprang　to　my

eyes。



〃　'You　are　an　angel；　Pauline；'　I　said。　'It　is　not　the　loan　that

touches　me　so　much　as　the　delicacy　with　which　it　is　offered。　I　used　to

wish　for　a　rich　wife；　a　fashionable　woman　of　rank；　and　now；　alas！　I

would　rather　possess　millions；　and　find　some　girl；　as　poor　as　you　are；

with　a　generous　nature　like　your　own；　and　I　would　renounce　a　fatal

passion　which　will　kill　me。　Perhaps　what　you　told　me　will　come　true。'



〃　'That　is　enough；'　she　said；　and　fled　away；　the　fresh　trills　of　her

birdlike　voice　rang　up　the　staircase。



〃　'She　is　very　happy　in　not　yet　knowing　love；'　I　said　to　myself；

thinking　of　the　torments　I　had　endured　for　many　months　past。



〃Pauline's　fifteen　francs　were　invaluable　to　me。　Foedora；　thinking　of

the　stifling　odor　of　the　crowded　place　where　we　were　to　spend　several

hours；　was　sorry　that　she　had　not　brought　a　bouquet；　I　went　in　search

of　flowers　for　her；　as　I　had　laid　already　my　life　and　my　fate　at　her

feet。　With　a　pleasure　in　which　compunction　mingled；　I　gave　her　a

bouquet。　I　learned　from　its　price　the　extravagance　of　superficial

gallantry　in　the　world。　But　very　soon　she　complained　of　the　heavy

scent　of　a　Mexican　jessamine。　The　interior　of　the　theatre；　the　bare

bench　on　which　she　was　to　sit；　filled　her　with　intolerable　disgust；

she　upbraided　me　for　bringing　her　there。　Although　she　sat　beside　me；

she　wished　to　go；　and　she　went。　I　had　spent　sleepless　nights；　and

squandered　two　months　of　my　life　for　her；　and　I　could　not　please　her。

Never　had　that　tormenting　spirit　been　more　unfeeling　or　more

fascinating。



〃I　sat　beside　her　in　the　cramped　back　seat　of　the　vehicle；　all　the　way

I　could　feel　her　breath　on　me　and　the　contact　of　her　perfumed　glove；　I

saw　distinctly　all　her　exceeding　beauty；　I　inhaled　a　vague　scent　of

orris…root；　so　wholly　a　woman　she　was；　with　no　touch　of　womanhood。

Just　then　a　sudden　gleam　of　light　lit　up　the　depths　of　this　mysterious

life　for　me。　I　thought　all　at　once　of　a　book　just　published　by　a　poet；

a　genuine　conception　of　the　artist；　in　the　shape　of　the　statue　of

Polycletus。



〃I　seemed　to　see　that　monstrous　creation；　at　one　time　an　officer；

breaking　in　a　spirited　horse；　at　another；　a　girl；　who　gives　herself　up

to　her　toilette　and　breaks　her　lovers'　hearts；　or　again；　a　false　lover

driving　a　timid　and　gentle　maid　to　despair。　Unable　to　analyze　Foedora

by　any　other　process；　I　told　her　this　fanciful　story；　but　no　hint　of

her　resemblance　to　this　poetry　of　the　impossible　crossed　herit

simply　diverted　her；　she　was　like　a　child　over　a　story　from　the

Arabian　Nights。



〃　'Foedora　must　be　shielded　by　some　talisman；'　I　thought　to　myself　as

I　went　back；　'or　she　could　not　resist　the　love　of　a　man　of　my　age；　the

infectious　fever　of　that　splendid　malady　of　the　soul。　Is　Foedora；　like

Lady　Delacour；　a　prey　to　a　cancer？　Her　life　is　certainly　an　unnatural

one。'



〃I　shuddered　at　the　thought。　Then　I　decided　on　a　plan；　at　once　the

wildest　and　the　most　rational　that　lover　ever　dreamed　of。　I　would

study　this　woman　from　a　physical　point　of　view；　as　I　had　already

studied　her　intellectually；　and　to　this　end　I　made　up　my　mind　to　spend

a　night　in　her　room　without　her　knowledge。　This　project　preyed　upon　me

as　a　thirst　for　revenge　gnaws　at　the　heart　of　a　Corsican　monk。　This　is

how　I　carried　it　out。　On　the　days　when　Foedora　received；　her　rooms

were　far　too　crowded　for　the　hall…porter　to　keep　the　balance　even

between　goers　and　comers；　I　could　remain　in　the　house；　I　felt　sure；

without　causing　a　scandal　in　it；　and　I　waited　the　countess'　coming

soiree　with　impatience。　As　I　dressed　I　put　a　little　English　penknife

into　my　waistcoat　pocket；　instead　of　a　poniard。　That　literary

implement；　if　found　upon　me；　could　awaken　no　suspicion；　but　I　knew　not

whither　my　romantic　resolution　might　lead；　and　I　wished　to　be

prepared。



〃As　soon　as　the　rooms　began　to　fill；　I　entered　the　bedroom　and

examined　the　arrangements。　The　inner　and　outer　shutters　were　closed；

this　was　a　good　beginning；　and　as　the　waiting…maid　might　come　to　draw

back　the　curtains　that　hung　over　the　windows；　I　pulled　them　together。

I　was　running　great　risks　in　venturing　to　manoeuvre　beforehand　in　this

way；　but　I　had　accepted　the　situation；　and　had　deliberately　reckoned

with　its　dangers。



〃About　midnight　I　hid　myself　in　the　embrasure　of　the　window。　I　tried

to　scramble　on　to　a　ledge　of　the　wainscoting；　hanging　on　by　the

fastening　of　the　shutters　with　my　back　against　the　wall；　in　such　a

position　that　my　feet　could　not　be　visible。　When　I　had　carefully

considered　my　points　of　support；　and　the　space　between　me　and　the

curtains；　I　had　become　sufficiently　acquainted　with　all　the

difficulties　of　my　position　to　stay　in　it　without　fear　of　detection　if

undisturbed　by　cramp；　coughs；　or　sneezings。　To　avoid　useless　fatigue；

I　remained　standing　until　the　critical　moment；　when　I　must　hang

suspended　like　a　spider　in　its　web。　The　white…watered　silk　and　muslin

of　the　curtains　spread　before　me　in　great　pleats　like　organ…pipes。

With　my　penknife　I　cut　loopholes　in　them；　through　which　I　could　see。



〃I　heard　vague　murmurs　from　the　salons；　the　laughter　and　the　louder

tones　of　the　speakers。　The　smothered　commotion　and　vague　uproar

lessened　by　slow　degrees。　One　man　and　another　came　for　his　hat　from

the　countess'　chest　of　drawers；　close　to　where　I　stood。　I　shivered；　if

the　curtains　were　disturbed；　at　the　thought　of　the　mischances

consequent　on　the　confused　and　hasty　investigations　made　by　the　men　in

a　hurry　to　depart；　who　were　rummaging　everywhere。　When　I　experienced

no　misfortunes　of　this　kind；　I　augured　well　of　my　enterprise。　An　old

wooer　of　Foedora's　came　for　the　last　hat；　he　thought　himself　quite

alone；　looked　at　the　bed；　and　heaved　a　great　sigh；　accompanied　by　some

inaudible　exclamation；　into　which　he　threw　sufficient　energy。　In　the

boudoir　close　by；　the　countess；　finding　only　some　five　or　six　intimate

acquaintances　about　her；　proposed　tea。　The　scandals　for　which　existing

society　has　reserved　the　little　faculty　of　belief　that　it　retains；

mingled　with　epigrams　and　trenchant　witticisms；　and　the　clatter　of

cups　and　spoons。　Rastignac　drew　roars　of　laughter　by　merciless

sarcasms　at　the　expense　of　my　rivals。



〃　'M。　de　Rastignac　is　a　man　with　whom　it　is　better　not　to　quarrel；'

said　the　countess；　laughing。



〃　'I　am　quite　of　that　opinion；'　was　his　candid　reply。　'I　have　always

been　right　about　my　aversionsand　my　friendships　as　well；'　he　added。

'Perhaps　my　enemies　are　quite　as　useful　to　me　as　my　friends。　I　have

made　a　particular　study　of　modern　phraseology；　and　of　the　natural

craft　that　is　used　in　all　attack　or　defence。　Official　eloquence　is　one

of　our　perfect　social　products。



〃　'One　of　your　friends　is　not　clever；　so　you　speak　of　his　integrity

and　his　candor。　Another's　work　is　heavy；　you　introduce　it　as　a　piece

of　conscientious　labor；　and　if　the　book　is　ill　written；　you　extol　the

ideas　it　contains。　Such　an　one　is　treacherous　and　fickle；　slips

through　your　fingers　every　moment；　bah！　he　is　attractive；　bewitching；

he　is　delightful！　Suppose　they　are　enemies；　you　fling　every　one；　dead

or　alive；　in　their　teeth。　You　reverse　your　phraseology　for　their

benefit；　and　you　are　as　keen　in　detecting　their　faults　as　you　were

before　adroit　in　bringing　out　the　virtues　of　your　friends。　This　way　of

using　the　mental　lorgnette　is　the　secret　of　conversation　nowadays；　and

the　whole　art　of　the　complete　courtier。　If　you　neglect　it；　you　might

as　well　go　out　as　an　unarmed　knight…banneret　to　fight　against　men　in

armor。　And　I　make　use　of　it；　and　even　abuse　it　at　times。　So　we　are

respectedI　and　my　friends；　and；　moreover；　my　sword　is　quite　as　sharp

as　my　tongue。'



〃One　of　Foedora's　most　fervid　worshipers；　whose　presumption　was

notorious；　and　who　even　made　it　contribute　to　his　success；　took　up　the

glove　thrown　down　so　scornfully　by　Rastignac。　He　began　an　unmeasured

eulogy　of　me；　my　performances；　and　my　character。　Rastignac　had

overlooked　this　method　of　detraction。　His　sarcastic　encomiums　misled

the　countess；　who　sacrificed　without　mercy；　she　betrayed　my　secrets；

and　derided　my　pretensions　and　my　hopes；　to　divert　her　friends。



〃　'There　is　a　future　before　him；'　said　Rastignac。　'Some　day　he　may　be

in　a　position　to　take　a　cruel　revenge；　his　talents　are　at　least　equal

to　his　courage；　and　I　should　consider　those　who　attack　him　very　rash；

for　he　has　a　good　memory'



〃　'And　writes　Memoirs；'　put　in　the　countess；　who　seemed　to　object　to

the　deep　silence　that　prevailed。



〃　'Memoirs　of　a　sham　countess；　madame；'　replied　Rasti