the author of beltraffio-第8章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


admired　her；　but　I　was　aware　that　I　differed　from　her　inexpressibly。
Then　I　suspected；　what　I　afterwards　definitely　knew　and　have　already
intimated；　that　the　poor　lady　felt　small　taste　for　her　husband's　so
undisguised　disciple；　and　this　of　course　was　not　encouraging。　　She
thought　me　an　obtrusive　and　designing；　even　perhaps　a　depraved；　young
man　whom　a　perverse　Providence　had　dropped　upon　their　quiet　lawn　to
flatter　his　worst　tendencies。　　She　did　me　the　honour　to　say　to　Miss
Ambient；　who　repeated　the　speech；　that　she　didn't　know　when　she　had
seen　their　companion　take　such　a　fancy　to　a　visitor；　and　she　measured
apparently　my　evil　influence　by　Mark's　appreciation　of　my　society。　　I
had　a　consciousness；　not　oppressive　but　quite　sufficient；　of　all
this；　though　I　must　say　that　if　it　chilled　my　flow　of　small…talk　it
yet　didn't　prevent　my　thinking　the　beautiful　mother　and　beautiful
child；　interlaced　there　against　their　background　of　roses；　a　picture
such　as　I　doubtless　shouldn't　soon　see　again。　　I　was　free；　I
supposed；　to　go　into　the　house　and　write　letters；　to　sit　in　the
drawing…room；　to　repair　to　my　own　apartment　and　take　a　nap；　but　the
only　use　I　made　of　my　freedom　was　to　linger　still　in　my　chair　and　say
to　myself　that　the　light　hand　of　Sir　Joshua　might　have　painted　Mark
Ambient's　wife　and　son。　　I　found　myself　looking　perpetually　at　the
latter　small　mortal；　who　looked　constantly　back　at　me；　and　that　was
enough　to　detain　me。　　With　these　vaguely…amused　eyes　he　smiled；　and　I
felt　it　an　absolute　impossibility　to　abandon　a　child　with　such　an
expression。　　His　attention　never　strayed；　it　attached　itself　to　my
face　as　if　among　all　the　small　incipient　things　of　his　nature
throbbed　a　desire　to　say　something　to　me。　　If　I　could　have　taken　him
on　my　own　knee　he　perhaps　would　have　managed　to　say　it；　but　it　would
have　been　a　critical　matter　to　ask　his　mother　to　give　him　up；　and　it
has　remained　a　constant　regret　for　me　that　on　that　strange　Sunday
afternoon　I　didn't　even　for　a　moment　hold　Dolcino　in　my　arms。　　He　had
said　he　felt　remarkably　well　and　was　especially　happy；　but　though
peace　may　have　been　with　him　as　he　pillowed　his　charming　head　on　his
mother's　breast；　dropping　his　little　crimson　silk　legs　from　her　lap；
I　somehow　didn't　think　security　was。　　He　made　no　attempt　to　walk
about；　he　was　content　to　swing　his　legs　softly　and　strike　one　as
languid　and　angelic。

Mark　returned　to　us　with　his　sister；　and　Miss　Ambient；　repeating　her
mention　of　the　claims　of　her　correspondence；　passed　into　the　house。
Mark　came　and　stood　in　front　of　his　wife；　looking　down　at　the　child；
who　immediately　took　hold　of　his　hand　and　kept　it　while　he　stayed。
〃I　think　Mackintosh　ought　to　see　him；〃　he　said；　〃I　think　I'll　walk
over　and　fetch　him。〃

〃That's　Gwendolen's　idea；　I　suppose；〃　Mrs。　Ambient　replied　very
sweetly。

〃It's　not　such　an　out…of…the…way　idea　when　one's　child's　ill；〃　he
returned。

〃I'm　not　ill；　papa；　I'm　much　better　now；〃　sounded　in　the　boy's　silver
pipe。

〃Is　that　the　truth；　or　are　you　only　saying　it　to　be　agreeable？
You've　a　great　idea　of　being　agreeable；　you　know。〃

The　child　seemed　to　meditate　on　this　distinction；　this　imputation；
for　a　moment；　then　his　exaggerated　eyes；　which　had　wandered；　caught
my　own　as　I　watched　him。　　〃Do　YOU　think　me　agreeable？〃　he　inquired
with　the　candour　of　his　age　and　with　a　look　that　made　his　father　turn
round　to　me　laughing　and　ask；　without　saying　it；　〃Isn't　he　adorable？〃

〃Then　why　don't　you　hop　about；　if　you　feel　so　lusty？〃　Ambient　went　on
while　his　son　swung　his　hand。

〃Because　mamma's　holding　me　close！〃

〃Oh　yes；　I　know　how　mamma　holds　you　when　I　come　near！〃　cried　Mark
with　a　grimace　at　his　wife。

She　turned　her　charming　eyes　up　to　him　without　deprecation　or
concession。　　〃You　can　go　for　Mackintosh　if　you　like。　　I　think　myself
it　would　be　better。　　You　ought　to　drive。〃

〃She　says　that　to　get　me　away；〃　he　put　to　me　with　a　gaiety　that　I
thought　a　little　false；　after　which　he　started　for　the　Doctor's。

I　remained　there　with　Mrs。　Ambient；　though　even　our　exchange　of
twaddle　had　run　very　thin。　　The　boy's　little　fixed　white　face　seemed；
as　before；　to　plead　with　me　to　stay；　and　after　a　while　it　produced
still　another　effect；　a　very　curious　one；　which　I　shall　find　it
difficult　to　express。　　Of　course　I　expose　myself　to　the　charge　of　an
attempt　to　justify　by　a　strained　logic　after　the　fact　a　step　which
may　have　been　on　my　part　but　the　fruit　of　a　native　want　of
discretion；　and　indeed　the　traceable　consequences　of　that　perversity
were　too　lamentable　to　leave　me　any　desire　to　trifle　with　the
question。　　All　I　can　say　is　that　I　acted　in　perfect　good　faith　and
that　Dolcino's　friendly　little　gaze　gradually　kindled　the　spark　of　my
inspiration。　　What　helped　it　to　glow　were　the　other　influencesthe
silent　suggestive　garden…nook；　the　perfect　opportunity　（if　it　was　not
an　opportunity　for　that　it　was　an　opportunity　for　nothing）　and　the
plea　I　speak　of；　which　issued　from　the　child's　eyes　and　seemed　to
make　him　say：　　〃The　mother　who　bore　me　and　who　presses　me　here　to　her
bosomsympathetic　little　organism　that　I　amhas　really　the　kind　of
sensibility　she　has　been　represented　to　you　as　lacking；　if　you　only
look　for　it　patiently　and　respectfully。　　How　is　it　conceivable　she
shouldn't　have　it？　　How　is　it　possible　that　_I_　should　have　so　much
of　itfor　I'm　quite　full　of　it；　dear　strange　gentlemanif　it
weren't　also　in　some　degree　in　her？　　I'm　my　great　father's　child；　but
I'm　also　my　beautiful　mother's；　and　I'm　sorry　for　the　difference
between　them！〃　　So　it　shaped　itself　before　me；　the　vision　of
reconciling　Mrs。　Ambient　with　her　husband；　of　putting　an　end　to　their
ugly　difference。　　The　project　was　absurd　of　course；　for　had　I　not　had
his　word　for　itspoken　with　all　the　bitterness　of　experiencethat
the　gulf　dividing　them　was　well…nigh　bottomless？　　Nevertheless；　a
quarter　of　an　hour　after　Mark　had　left　us；　I　observed　to　my　hostess
that　I　couldn't　get　over　what　she　had　told　me　the　night　before　about
her　thinking　her　husband's　compositions　〃objectionable。〃　　I　had　been
so　very　sorry　to　hear　it；　had　thought　of　it　constantly　and　wondered
whether　it　mightn't　be　possible　to　make　her　change　her　mind。　　She
gave　me　a　great　cold　stare；　meant　apparently　as　an　admonition　to　me
to　mind　my　business。　　I　wish　I　had　taken　this　mute　counsel；　but　I
didn't　take　it。　　I　went　on　to　remark　that　it　seemed　an　immense　pity
so　much　that　was　interesting　should　be　lost　on　her。

〃Nothing's　lost　upon　me；〃　she　said　in　a　tone　that　didn't　make　the
contradiction　less。　　〃I　know　they're　very　interesting。〃

〃Don't　you　like　papa's　books？〃　Dolcino　asked；　addressing　his　mother
but　still　looking　at　me。　　Then　he　added　to　me：　　〃Won't　you　read　them
to　me；　American　gentleman？〃

〃I'd　rather　tell　you　some　stories　of　my　own；〃　I　said。　　〃I　know　some
that　are　awfully　good。〃

〃When　will　you　tell　them？　　To…morrow？〃

〃To…morrow　with　pleasure；　if　that　suits　you。〃

His　mother　took　this　in　silence。　　Her　husband；　during　our　walk；　had
asked　me　to　remain　another　day；　my　promise　to　her　son　was　an
implication　that　I　had　consented；　and　it　wasn't　possible　the　news
could　please　her。　　This　ought　doubtless　to　have　made　me　more　careful
as　to　what　I　said　next；　but　all　I　can　plead　is　that　it　didn't。　　I
soon　mentioned　that　just　after　leaving　her　the　evening　before；　and
after　hearing　her　apply　to　her　husband's　writings　the　epithet　already
quoted；　I　had　on　going　up　to　my　room　sat　down　to　the　perusal　of　those
sheets　of　his　new　book　that　he　had　been　so　good　as　to　lend　me。　　I　had
sat　entranced　till　nearly　three　in　the　morningI　had　read　them　twice
over。　　〃You　say　you　haven't　looked　at　them。　　I　think　it's　such　a　pity
you　shouldn't。　　Do　let　me　beg　you　to　take　them　up。　　They're　so　very
remarkable。　　I'm　sure　they'll　convert　you。　　They　place　him　in
reallysuch　a　dazzling　light。　　All　that's　best　in　him　is　there。
I've　no　doubt　it's　a　great　liberty；　my　saying　all　this；　but　pardon
me；　and　DO　read　them！〃

〃Do　read　them；　mamma！〃　the　boy　again　sweetly　shrilled。　　〃Do　read
them！〃

She　bent　her　head　and　closed　his　lips　with　a　kiss。　　〃Of　course　I　know
he　has　worked　immensely　over　them；〃　she　said；　after　which　she　made　no
remark；　but　attached　her　eyes　thoughtfully　to　the　ground。　　The　tone
of　these　last　words　was　such　as　to　leave　me　no　spirit　for　further
pressure；　and　after　hinting　at　a　fear　that　her　husband　mightn't　have
caught　the　Doctor　I　got　up　and　took　a　turn　about　the　grounds。　　When　I
came　back　ten　minutes　later　she　was　still　in　her　place　watching　her
boy；　who　had　fallen　asleep　in　her　lap。　　As　I　drew　near　she　put　her
finger　to　her　lips　and　a　short　time　afterwards　rose；　holding　him；　it
being　now　best；　she　said；　that　she　should　take　him　upstairs。　　I
offered　to　carry　him　and　opened　my　arms　for　the　purpose；　but　she
thanked　me　and　turned　away　with　the　child　still　in　her　embrace；　his
head　on　her　shoulder。　　〃I'm　very　strong；〃　was　her　last　word　as　she
passed　into　the　house；　her　slim　flexible　figure　bent　backward　with
the　filial　weight。　　So　I　never　laid　a　longing　hand　on　Dolcino。

I　betook　myself　to　Ambient's　study；　delighted　to　have　a　quiet　hour　to
look　over　his　books　by　myself。　　The　windows　were　open　to　the　garden；
the　sunny　stillness；　the　mild　light　of　the　English　summer；　filled　the
room　without　quite　chasing　away　the　rich　dusky　tone　that　was　a　part
of　its　charm　and　that　abode　in　the　serried　shelves　where　old　morocco
exhaled　the　fragrance　of　curious　learning；　as　well　as　in　the　brighter
intervals　where　prints　and　medals　and　miniatures　were　suspended　on　a
surface　of　faded　stuff。　　The　place　had　both　colour　and　quiet；　I
thought　it　a　perfect　room　for　work　and　went　so　far　as　to　say　to
myself　that；　if　it　were　mine　to　sit　and　scribble　in；　there　was　no
knowing　but　I　might　learn　to　write　as　well　as　the　author　of
〃Beltraffio。〃　　This　distinguished　man　still　didn't　reappear；　and　I
rummaged　freely　among　his　treasures。　　At　last　I　took　down　a　book　that
detained　me　a　while　and　seated　myself　in　a　fine　old　leather　chair　by
the　window　to　turn　it　over。　　I　had　been　occupied　in　this　way　for　half
an　houra　good　part　of　the　afternoon　had　wanedwhen　I　became
conscious　of　another　presence　in　the　room　and；　looking　up　from　my
quarto；　saw　that　Mrs。　Ambient；　having　pushed　open　the　door　quite
again　in　the　same　noiseless　way　marking　or　disguising　her　entrance
the　night　before；　had　advanced　across　the　threshold。　　On　seeing　me
she　stopped；　she　had　not；　I　think；　expected　to　find　me。　　But　her
hesitation　was　only　of　a　moment；　she　came　straight　to　her　husband's
writing…table　as　if　she　were　looking　for　something。　　I　got　up　and
asked　her　if　I　could　help　her。　　She　glanced　about　an　instant　and　then
put　her　hand　upon　a　roll　of　papers　which　I　recognised；　as　I　had
placed　it　on　that　spot　at　the　early　hour　of　my　descent　from　my　room。

〃Is　this　the　new　book？〃　she　asked；　holding　it　up。

〃The　very　sheets；〃　I　smiled；　〃with　precious　annotations。〃

〃I　mean　to　take　your　advice〃and　she　tucked　the　little　bundle　under
her　arm。　　I　congratulated　her　cordially　and　ventured　to　make　of　my
triumph；　as　I　presumed　to　call　it；　a　subject　of　pleasantry。　　But　she
was　perfectly　grave　and　turned　away　from　me；　as　she　had　presented
herself；　without　relaxing　her　rig