the dust-第7章

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shakily　founded　theory　that　it　was　〃our〃　career　enabled　him　to　say　without　sense　of　lying　that　his　chief　thought　had　been　she。

〃How　those　men　down　town　would　poke　fun　at　you；〃　said　she；　〃if　they　knew　you　had　me　with　you　all　the　time；　right　beside　you。〃

This　amused　him。　　〃Still；　I　suspect　there　are　lots　of　men　who'd　be　exposed　in　the　same　way　if　there　were　a　general　and　complete　show…down。〃

〃Sometimes　I　wish　I　really　were　with　youworking　with　youhelping　you。　　You　have　girlsa　girlto　be　your　secretaryor　whatever　you　call　itdon't　you？〃

〃You　should　have　seen　the　one　I　had　to…day。　　But　there's　always　something　pathetic　about　every　girl　who　has　to　make　her　own　living。〃

〃Pathetic！〃　protested　Miss　Burroughs。　　〃Not　at　all。　　I　think　it's　fine。〃

〃You　wouldn't　say　that　if　you　had　tried　it。〃

〃Indeed；　I　should；〃　she　declared　with　spirit。　　〃You　men　are　entirely　too　soft　about　women。　　You　don't　realize　how　strong　they　are。　　And；　of　course；　women　don't　resist　the　temptation　to　use　their　sex　when　they　see　how　easy　it　is　to　fool　men　that　way。　　The　sad　thing　about　it　is　that　the　woman　who　gets　along　by　using　her　sex　and　by　appealing　to　the　soft…heartedness　of　men　never　learns　to　rely　on　herself。　　She's　likely　to　come　to　grief　sooner　or　later。〃

〃There's　truth　in　all　that；〃　said　Norman。　　〃Enough　to　make　it　dangerously　unjust。　　There's　so　much　lying　done　about　getting　on　that　it's　no　wonder　those　who've　never　tried　to　do　for　themselves　get　a　wholly　false　notion　of　the　situation。　　It　is　hardbitterly　hardfor　a　man　to　get　on。　　Most　men　don't。　　Most　men？　　All　but　a　mere　handful。　　And　if　those　who　do　get　on　were　to　tell　the　truththe　WHOLE　truthabout　how　they　succeeded　well；　it'd　not　make　a　pleasant　story。〃

〃But　YOU'VE　got　on；〃　retorted　the　girl。

〃So　I　have。　　And　how？〃　　Norman　smiled　with　humorous　cynicism。　　〃I'll　never　tellnot　allonly　the　parts　that　sound　well。　　And　those　parts　are　the　least　important。　　However；　let's　not　talk　about　that。　　What　I　set　out　to　say　was　that；　while　it's　hard　for　a　man　to　make　a　decent　livingunless　he　has　luckand　harder　stillmuch　harderfor　him　to　rise　to　independence〃

〃It　wasn't　so　dreadfully　hard　for　YOU；〃　interrupted　Josephine；　looking　at　him　with　proud　admiration。　　〃But　then；　you　had　a　wonderful　brain。〃

〃That　wasn't　what　did　it；〃　replied　he。　　〃And；　in　spite　of　all　my　advantagesfriendships；　education；　enough　money　to　tide　me　over　the　beginningsin　spite　of　all　that；　I　had　a　frightful　time。　　Not　the　work。　　Of　course；　I　had　to　work；　but　I　like　that。　　No；　it　was　the　the　maneuvering；　let's　call　itthe　hardening　process。〃

〃You！〃　she　exclaimed。

〃Everyone　who　succeedsin　active　life。　　You　don't　understand　the　system；　dear。　　It's　a　cutthroat　game。　It　isn't　at　all　what　the　successful　hypocrites　describe　in　their　talks　to　young　men！〃　　He　laughed。　　〃If　I　had　followed　the　‘guides　to　success；'　I'd　not　be　here。　Oh；　yes；　I've　made　terrible　sacrifices；　but〃　his　look　at　her　made　her　thrill　with　exaltation〃it　was　worth　doing。　。　。　。　　I　understand　and　sympathize　with　those　who　scorn　to　succeed。　　But　I'm　glad　I　happened　not　to　be　born　with　their　temperament；　at　least　not　with　enough　of　it　to　keep　me　down。〃

〃You're　too　hard　on　yourself；　too　generous　to　the　failures。〃

〃Oh；　I　don't　mean　the　men　who　were　too　lazy　to　do　the　work　or　too　cowardly　to　dare　thethe　unpleasant　things。　　And　I'm　not　hard　with　myselfonly　frank。　But　we　were　talking　of　the　women。　　Poor　things；　what　chance　have　they　got？　　You　scorn　them　for　using　their　sex。　　Wait　till　you're　drowning；　dear；　before　you　criticise　another　for　what　he　does　to　save　himself　when　he's　sinking　for　the　last　time。　　I　used　everything　I　had　in　making　my　fight。　　If　I　could　have　got　on　better　or　quicker　by　the　aid　of　my　sex；　I'd　have　used　that。〃

〃Don't　say　those　things；　Fred；〃　cried　Josephine；　smiling　but　half　in　earnest。

〃Why　not？　　Aren't　you　glad　I'm　here？〃

She　gave　him　a　long　look　of　passionate　love　and　lowered　her　eyes。

〃At　whatever　cost？〃

〃Yes；〃　she　said　in　a　low　voice。　　〃But　I'm　SURE　you　exaggerate。〃

〃I've　done　nothing　YOU　wouldn't　approve　ofor　find　excuses　for。　　But　that's　because　youIall　of　us　in　this　classand　in　most　other　classeshave　been　trained　to　false　ideasno；　to　perverted　ideasto　a　system　of　morality　that's　twisted　to　suit　the　demands　of　practical　life。　　On　Sundays　we　go　to　a　magnificent　church　to　hear　an　expensive　preacher　and　choir；　go　in　expensive　dress　and　in　carriages；　and　we　never　laugh　at　ourselves。　　Yet　we　are　going　in　the　name　of　One　who　was　born　in　a　stable　and　who　said　that　we　must　give　everything　to　the　poor；　and　so　on。〃

〃But　I　don't　see　what　we　could　do　about　it〃　she　said　hesitatingly。

〃We　couldn't　do　anything。　　Onlydon't　you　see　my　point？the　difference　between　theory　and　practice？　Personally；　I've　no　objectionno　strong　objectionto　the　practice。　　All　I　object　to　is　the　lying　and　faking　about　it；　to　make　it　seem　to　fit　the　theory。　　But　we　were　talking　of　womenwomen　who　work。〃

〃I've　no　doubt　you're　right；〃　admitted　she。　　〃I　suppose　they　aren't　to　blame　for　using　their　sex。　　I　ought　to　be　ashamed　of　myself；　to　sneer　at　them。〃

〃As　a　matter　of　fact；　their　sex　does　few　of　them　any　good。　　The　reverse。　　You　see；　an　attractive　woman　one　who's　attractive　AS　a　womancan　skirmish　round　and　find　some　one　to　support　her。　　But　most　of　the　working　womenthose　who　keep　on　at　itdon't　find　the　man。　　They're　not　attractive；　not　even　at　the　start。　After　they've　been　at　it　a　few　years　and　lose　the　little　bloom　they　ever　hadwhy；　they've　got　to　take　their　chances　at　the　game；　precisely　like　a　man。　　Only；　they're　handicapped　by　always　hoping　that　they'll　be　able　to　quit　and　become　married　women。　　I'd　like　to　see　how　men　would　behave　if　they　could　find　or　could　imagine　any　alternative　to　‘root　hog　or　die。'　〃

〃What's　the　matter　with　you　this　evening；　Fred？　I　never　saw　you　in　such　a　bitter　mood。〃

〃We　never　happened　to　get　on　this　subject　before。〃

〃Oh；　yes；　we　have。　　And　you　always　have　scoffed　at　the　men　who　fail。〃

〃And　I　still　scoff　at　themmost　of　them。　　A　lot　of　lazy　cowards。　　Or　else；　so　bent　on　self…indulgence　petty　self…indulgencethat　they　refuse　to　make　the　small　sacrifice　to…day　for　the　sake　of　the　large　advantage　day　after　to…morrow。　　Or　else　so　stuffed　with　vanity　that　they　never　see　their　own　mistakes。　　However；　why　blame　them？　　They　were　born　that　way；　and　can't　change。　　A　man　who　has　the　equipment　of　success　and　succeeds　has　no　more　right　to　sneer　at　one　less　lucky　than　you　would　have　to　laugh　at　a　poor　girl　because　she　wasn't　dressed　as　well　as　you。〃

〃What　a　mood！　　SOMETHING　must　have　happened。〃

〃Perhaps；〃　said　he　reflectively。　　〃Possibly　that　girl　set　me　off。〃

〃What　girl？〃

〃The　one　I　told　you　about。　　The　unfortunate　little　creature　who　was　typewriting　for　me　this　afternoon。　Not　so　very　little；　either。　　A　curious　figure　she　had。　She　was　tall　yet　she　wasn't。　　She　seemed　thin；　and　when　you　looked　again；　you　saw　that　she　was　really　only　slender；　and　beautifully　shaped　throughout。〃

Miss　Burroughs　laughed。　　〃She　must　have　been　attractive。〃

〃Not　in　the　least。　　Absolutely　without　charmand　so　homelyno；　not　homelycommonplace。　　No；　that's　not　right；　either。　　She　had　a　startling　way　of　fading　and　blazing　out。　　One　moment　she　seemed　a　blankpale；　lifeless；　colorless；　a　nobody。　　The　next　minute　she　becameamazingly　different。　　Not　the　same　thing　every　time；　but　different　things。〃

Frederick　Norman　was　too　experienced　a　dealer　with　women　deliberately　to　make　the　mistakerather；　to　commit　the　breach　of　tact　and　courtesyinvolved　in　praising　one　woman　to　another。　　But　in　this　case　it　never　occurred　to　him　that　he　was　talking　to　a　woman　of　a　woman。　　Josephine　Burroughs　was　a　lady；　the　other　was　a　piece　of　office　machineryand　a　very　trivial　piece　at　that。　　But　he　saw　and　instantly　understood　the　look　in　her　eyesthe　strained　effort　to　keep　the　telltale　upper　lip　from　giving　its　prompt　and　irrepressible　signal　of　inward　agitation。

〃I'm　very　much　interested；〃　said　she。

〃Yes；　she　was　a　curiosity；〃　said　he　carelessly。

〃Has　she　been　therelong？〃　inquired　Josephine；　with　a　feigned　indifference　that　did　not　deceive　him。

〃Several　months；　I　believe。　　I　never　noticed　her　until　a　few　days　ago。　　And　until　to…day　I　had　forgotten　her。　　She's　one　of　the　kind　it's　difficult　to　remember。〃

He　fell　to　glancing　round　the　house；　pretending　to　be　unconscious　of　the　furtive　suspicion　with　which　she　was　observing　him。　　She　said：

〃She's　your　secretary　now？〃

〃Merely　a　general　office　typewriter。〃

The　curtain　went　up　for　the　second　act。　　Josephine　fixed　her　attention　on　the　stageapparently　undivided　attention。　　But　Norman　felt　rather　than　saw　that　she　was　still　worrying　about　the　〃curiosity。〃　　He　marveled　at　this　outcropping　of　jealousy。　　It　seemed　ridiculous　it　WAS　ridiculous。　　He　laughed　to　himself。　　If　she　could　see　the　girlthe　obscure；　uninteresting　cause　of　her　agitationhow　she　would　mock　at　herself！　　Then；　too；　there　was　the　absurdity　of　thinking　him　capable　of　such　a　stoop。　　A　woman　of　their　own　classor　a　woman　of　its　corresponding　class；　on　the　other　side　of　the　line　yes。　　No　doubt　she　had　heard　things　that　made　her　uneasy；　or；　at　least；　ready　to　be　uneasy。　　But　this　poorly　dressed　obscurity；　with　not　a　charm　that　could　attract　even　a　man　of　her　own　lowly　class　　It　was　such　a　good　joke　that　he　would　have　teased　Josephine　about　it　but　for　his　knowledge　of　the　worlda　knowledge　in　whose　primer　it　was　taught　that　teasing　is　both　bad　taste　and　bad　judgment。　　Also；　it　was　beneath　his　dig…　nity；　it　was　offense　to　his　vanity；　to　couple　his　name　with　the　name　of　one　so　beneath　him　that　even　the　matter　of　sex　did　not　make　the　coupling　less　intolerable。

When　the　curtain　fell　several　people　came　into　the　box；　and　he　went　to　make　a　few　calls　round　the　parterre。　He　returned　after　the　second　act。　　They　were　again　alonethe　deaf　old　aunt　did　not　count。　　At　once　Josephine　began　upon　the　same　subject。　　With　studied　indifferencehow　amusing　for　a　woman　of　her　inexperience　to　try　to　fool　a　man　of　his　experience！she　said：

〃Tell　me　some　more　about　that　typewriter　girl。　Women　who　work　always　interest　me。〃

〃She　wouldn't；〃　said　Norman。　　The　subject　had　been　driven　clean　out　of　his　mind；　and　he　didn't　wish　to　return　to　it。　　〃Some　day　they　will　venture　to　make　judicious　long　cuts　in　Wagner's　operas；　and　then　they'll　be　interesting。　　It　always　amuses　me；　this　reverence　of　little　people　for　the　great　onesas　if　a　great　man　were　always　great。　　Nohe　IS　always　great。　　But　often　it's　in　a　dull　way。　　And　the　dull　parts　ought　to　be　skipped。〃

〃I　don't　like　the　opera　this　evening；〃　said　she。　〃What　you　said　a　while　ago　has　set　me　to　thinking。　Is　that　girl　a　lady？〃

〃She　works；〃　laughed　he。

〃But　she　might　have　been　a　lady。〃

〃I'm　sure　I　don't　know。〃

〃Don't　you　know　ANYTHING　about　her？〃

〃Except　that　she's　trustworthyand　insignificant　and　not　too　good　at　her　business。〃

〃I　shouldn't　think　you　could　afford　to　keep　incompetent　people；〃　said　the　girl　shrewdly。

〃Perhaps　they　won't　keep　her；〃　parried　Norman　gracefully。　　〃The　head　clerk　looks　after　those　things。〃

〃He　probably　likes　her。〃

〃No；〃　said　Norman；　too　indifferent　to　be　cautious。　〃She　has　no　‘gentlemen　friends。'　〃

〃How　do　you　know　that？〃　said　the　girl；　and　she　could　not　keep　a　certain　sh