the dust-第48章

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d　her　face　up…　turned。　　〃Won't　you　kiss　me？〃　she　said。

〃Sure！〃　said　he。　　And　he　kissed　her　on　the　cheek　and　resumed　operations　with　his　military　brushes。

〃I　didn't　mean　thatthat　kind　of　a　kiss；〃　said　she　dejectedly。

He　paused　with　a　quick　characteristic　turn　of　the　head；　looked　keenly　at　her；　resumed　his　brushing。　　A　quizzical　smile　played　over　his　face。　　〃Oh；　I　see；〃　said　he。　　〃You've　been　thinking　about　duty。　　And　you've　decided　to　do　yours。　。　。　。　　Eh？〃

〃I　think　　It　seems　to　me　　I　don't　think〃　she　stammered；　then　said　desperately；　〃I've　not　been　acting　right　by　you。　　I　want　toto　do　better。〃

〃That's　good；〃　said　he　briskly；　with　a　nod　of　approvaland　never　a　glance　in　her　direction。　　〃You　think　you'll　let　me　have　a　kiss　now　and　theneh？　　All　right；　my　dear。〃

〃Oh；　you　WON'T　understand　me！〃　she　cried；　ready　to　weep　with　vexation。

〃You　mean　I　won't　misunderstand　you；〃　replied　he　amiably；　as　he　set　about　fixing　his　tie。　　〃You've　been　mulling　things　over　in　your　mind。　　You've　decided　I'm　secretly　pining　for　you。　　You've　resolved　to　be　good　and　kind　and　dutifulgenerousto　feed　old　dog　Tray　a　few　crumbs　now　and　then。　。　。　。　　That's　nice　and　sweet　of　you〃　　He　paused　until　the　crisis　in　tying　was　passed〃very　nice　and　sweet　of　youbut　There's　nothing　in　it。　　All　I　ask　of　you　for　myself　is　to　see　that　I'm　comfortablethat　Mrs。　Lowell　and　the　servants　treat　me　right。　　If　I　don't　like　anything；　I'll　speak　outnever　fear。〃

〃ButFredI　want　to　be　your　wifeI　really　do；〃　she　pleaded。

He　turned　on　her；　and　his　eyes　seemed　to　pierce　into　the　chamber　of　her　thoughts。　　〃Drop　it；　my　dear；〃　he　said　quietly。　　〃Neither　of　us　is　in　love　with　the　other。　　So　there's　not　the　slightest　reason　for　pretending。　If　I　ever　want　to　be　free　of　you；　I'll　tell　you　so。　If　you　ever　want　to　get　rid　of　me；　all　you　have　to　do　is　to　askand　it'll　be　arranged。　　Meanwhile；　let's　enjoy　ourselves。〃

His　good　humor；　obviously　unfeigned；　would　have　completely　discouraged　a　more　experienced　woman；　though　as　vain　as　Dorothy　and　with　as　much　ground　as　he　had　given　her　for　self…confidence　where　he　was　concerned。　　But　Dorothy　was　depressed　rather　than　profoundly　discouraged。　　A　few　moments　and　she　found　courage　to　plead：　　〃But　you　used　to　care　for　me。　　Don't　I　attract　you　any　more？〃

〃You　say　that　quite　pathetically；〃　said　he；　in　good…　humored　amusement。　　〃I'm　willing　to　do　anything　within　reason　for　your　happiness。　　But　reallyjust　to　please　your　vanity　I　can't　make　myself　over　again　into　the　fool　I　used　to　be　about　you。　　You'd　hate　it　yourself。　　Why；　then；　this　pathetic　air？〃

〃I　feel　so　uselessand　as　if　I　were　shirking；〃　she　persisted。　　〃And　if　you　did　care　for　me；　it　wouldn't　offend　me　now　as　it　used　to。　　I've　grown　much　wiser　more　sensible。　　I　understand　thingsand　I　look　at　them　differently。　　AndI　always　did　LIKE　you。〃

〃Even　when　you　despised　me？〃　mocked　he。　　It　irritated　him　a　little　vividly　to　recall　what　a　consummate　fool　he　had　made　of　himself　for　her；　even　though　he　had　every　reason　to　be　content　with　the　event　of　his　folly。

〃A　girl　always　thinks　she　despises　a　man　when　she　can　do　as　she　pleases　with　him；〃　replied　she。　　〃As　Mr。　Tetlow　said；　I　was　a　fool。〃

〃_I_　was　the　fool；〃　said　he。　　〃Where　did　that　man　of　mine　lay　the　handkerchief？〃

〃I；　too；〃　cried　she；　eagerly。　　〃You　were　foolish　to　bother　about　a　little　silly　like　me。　　But；　oh；　what　a　FOOL　I　was　not　to　realize〃

〃You're　not　trying　to　tell　me　you're　in　love　with　me？〃　said　he　sharply。

〃Oh；　nono；　indeed；〃　she　protested　in　haste；　alarmed　by　his　overwhelming　manner。　　〃I'm　not　trying　to　deceive　you　in　any　way。〃

〃Never　do；〃　said　he。　　〃It's　the　one　thing　I　can't　stand。〃

〃But　I　thoughtit　seemed　to　me〃　she　persisted；　〃that　perhaps　if　we　tried　toto　care　for　each　other；　we'd　maybe　get　toto　caringmore　or　less。　　Don't　you　think　so？〃

〃Perhaps；〃　was　his　careless　reply。　　He　added；　〃But　I；　for　one；　am　well　content　with　things　as　they　are。　　I　confess　I　don't　look　back　with　any　satisfaction　on　those　months　when　I　was　making　an　ass　of　myself　about　you。　　I　was　ruining　my　career。　　Now　I'm　happy；　and　everything　is　going　fine　in　my　business。　　No　experiments；　if　you　please。〃　　He　shook　his　head；　looking　at　her　with　smiling　raillery。　　〃It　might　turn　out　that　I'd　care　for　you　in　the　same　crazy　way　again；　and　that　you　didn't　like　it。　　Again　you　might　get　excited　about　me　and　I'd　remain　calm　about　you。　　That　would　give　me　a　handsome　revenge；　but　I'm　not　looking　for　revenge。〃

He　finished　his　toilet；　she　standing　quiet　and　thoughtful　in　an　attitude　of　unconscious　grace。

〃No；　my　dear；〃　resumed　he；　as　he　prepared　to　descend　for　dinner；　〃let's　have　a　peaceful；　cheerful　mar…　ried　life；　with　no　crazy　excitements。　　Let's　hang　on　to　what　we've　got；　and　take　no　unnecessary　risks。〃　　He　patted　her　on　the　shoulder。　　〃Isn't　that　sensible？〃

She　looked　at　him　with　serious；　appealing　eyes。　〃You　are　SURE　you　aren't　unhappy？〃

It　was　amusing　to　himthough　he　concealed　it　to　see　how　tenaciously　her　feminine　egotism　held　to　the　idea　that　she　was　the　important　person。　　And；　when　women　of　experience　thus　deluded　themselves；　it　was　not　at　all　strange　that　this　girl　should　be　unable　to　grasp　the　essential　truth　as　to　the　relations　of　men　and　womenthat；　while　a　woman　who　makes　her　sex　her　profession　must　give　to　a　man；　to　some　man；　a　dominant　place　in　her　life；　a　man　need　give　a　womanat　least；　any　one　womanlittle　or　no　place。　　But　he　would　not　wantonly　wound　her　harmless　vanity。　　〃Don't　worry　about　me；　please；〃　said　he　in　the　kindest；　friendliest　way。　　〃I　am　telling　you　the　truth。〃

And　they　descended　to　the　dining　room。　　Usually　he　was　preoccupied　and　she　did　most　of　the　talking　not　a　difficult　matter　for　her；　as　she　was　one　of　those　who　by　nature　have　much　to　say；　who　talk　on　and　on；　giving　lively；　pleasant　recitals　of　commonplace　daily　happenings。　　That　evening　it　was　her　turn　to　be　abstracted；　or；　at　least；　silent。　　He　talked　volubly；　torrentially；　like　a　man　of　teeming　mind　in　the　highest　spirits。　　And　he　was　in　high　spirits。　　The　Galloway　enterprise　had　developed　into　a　huge　success；　also；　it　did　not　lessen　his　sense　of　the　pleasantness　of　life　to　have　learned　that　his　wife　was　feeling　about　as　well　disposed　toward　him　as　he　cared　to　have　her　feel；　had　come　round　to　that　state　of　mind　which　he；　as　a　practical　man；　wise　in　the　art　of　life；　regarded　as　ideal　for　a　wife。

A　successful　man；　with　a　quiet　and　comfortable　home；　well　enough　looked　after　by　an　agreeable　wife；　exceeding　good　to　look　at　and　interested　only　in　her　home　and　her　husbandwhat　more　could　a　man　ask？


What　more　could　a　man　ask？　　Only　one　thing　more　a　baby。　　The　months　soon　passed　and　that　rounding　out　of　the　home　side　of　his　life　was　consummated　with　no　mishap。　　The　baby　was　a　girl；　which　contented　him　and　delighted　Dorothy。　　He　wished　it　to　be　named　after　her；　she　preferred　his　sister's　nameUrsula。　　It　was　Ursula　who　decided　the　question。　　〃She　looks　like　you；　Fred；〃　she　declared；　after　an　earnest　scanning　of　the　wierd　little　face。　　〃Why　not　call　her　Frederica？〃

Norman　thought　this　clumsy；　but　Dorothy　instantly　assentedand　the　baby　was　duly　christened　Frederica。

Perhaps　it　was　because　he　was　having　less　pressing　business　in　town；　but　whatever　the　reason；　he　began　to　stay　at　home　moresurprisingly　more。　　And；　being　at　home；　he　naturally　fell　into　the　habit　of　fussing　with　the　baby；　he　having　the　temperament　that　compels　a　man　to　be　always　at　something；　and　the　baby　being　convenient　and　in　the　nature　of　a　curiosity。　　Ursula；　who　was　stopping　in　the　house；　did　not　try　to　conceal　her　amazement　at　this　extraordinary　development　of　her　brother's　character。

Said　she：　　〃I　never　before　knew　you　to　take　the　slightest　interest　in　a　child。〃

Said　he：　　〃I　never　before　saw　a　child　worth　taking　the　slightest　interest　in。〃

〃Oh；　well；〃　said　Ursula；　〃it　won't　last。　　You'll　soon　grow　tired　of　your　plaything。〃

〃Perhaps　you're　right；〃　said　Norman。　　〃I　hope　you're　wrong。〃　　He　reflected；　added：　　〃In　fact；　I'm　almost　certain　you're　wrong。　　I'm　too　selfish　to　let　myself　lose　such　a　pleasure。　　If　you　had　observed　my　life　closely；　you'd　have　discovered　that　I　have　never　given　up　a　single　thing　I　found　a　source　of　pleasure。　　That　is　good　sense。　　That　is　why　the　superior　sort　of　men　and　women　retain　something　of　the　boy　and　the　girl　all　their　lives。　　I　still　like　a　lot　of　the　games　I　played　as　a　boy。　For　some　years　I've　had　no　chance　to　indulge　in　them。　I'll　be　glad　when　Rica　is　old　enough　to　give　me　the　chance　again。〃

She　was　much　amused。　　〃Who'd　have　suspected　that　YOU　were　a　born　father　！〃

〃Not　I；　for　one；〃　confessed　he。　　〃We　never　know　what　there　is　in　us　until　circumstances　bring　it　out。〃

〃A　devoted　father　and　a　doting　husband；〃　pursued　Ursula。　　〃I　must　say　I　rather　sympathize　with　you　as　a　doting　husband。　　Of　course；　I；　a　woman；　can't　see　her　as　you　do。　　I　can't　imagine　a　manespecially　a　man　of　your　sortgoing　stark　mad　about　a　mere　woman。　But；　as　women　go；　I'll　admit　she　is　a　good　specimen。　Not　the　marvel　of　intelligence　and　complex　character　you　imagine；　but　still　a　good　specimen。　　And　physically〃　She　laughed　　〃THAT'S　what　caught　you。　That's　what　holds　youand　will　hold　you　as　long　as　it　lasts。〃

〃Was　there　ever　a　woman　who　didn't　think　that？　and　didn't　like　to　think　it；　though　I　believe　many　of　them　make　strong　pretense　at　scorning　the　physical。〃　　Fred　was　regarding　his　sister　with　a　quizzical　expression。　〃You　approve　of　her？〃　he　said。

〃More　than　I'd　have　thought　possible。　　And　after　I've　taken　her　about　in　the　world　a　while　she'll　be　perfect。〃

〃No　doubt；〃　said　Norman。　　〃But；　alas；　she'll　never　be　perfect。　　For；　you're　not　going　to　take　her　about。〃

〃So　she　says　when　I　talk　of　it　to　her；〃　replied　Ursula。　　〃But　I　know　you'll　insist。　　You　needn't　be　uneasy　as　to　how　she'll　be　received。〃

〃I'm　not；〃　said　Norman　dryly。

〃You've　got　back　all　you　lostand　more。　　How　we　Americans　do　worship　success！〃

〃Don't　suggest　to　Dorothy　anything　further　about　society；〃　said　Norman。　　〃I've　no　time　or　taste　for　it；　and　I　don't　wish　to　be　annoyed　by　intrusions　into　my　home。〃

〃But　you'll　not　be　satisfied　always　with　just　her；〃　urged　his　sister。　　〃Besides；　you've　got　a　position　to　maintain。〃

Norman's　smile　was　cynically　patient。　　〃I　want　my　home　and　I　want　my　career；〃　said　he。　　〃And　I　don't　want　any　society　nonsense。　　I　had　the　good　luck　to　marry　a　woman　who　knows　and　cares　nothing　about　it。　I　don't　purpose　to　give　up　the　greatest　advantage　of　my　marriage。〃

Ursula　was　astounded。　　She　knew　the　meaning　of　his　various　tones　and　manners；　and　his　way　of　rejecting　her　plans　for　Dorothyand；　incidentally；　for　her　own　amusementconvinced　her　that　he　was　through　and　through　in　earnest。　　〃It　will　be　dreadfully　lonesome　for　her；　Fred；〃　she　pleaded。

〃We'll　wait　till　that　trouble　faces　us；〃　replied　he；　not　a　bit　impressed。　　〃And　don't　forgetnot　a　word　of　temptation　to　her　from　you。〃　　This　with　an　expression　that　warned　her　how　well　he　knew　her　indirect　ways　of　accomplishing　what　she　could　not　gain　directly。

〃Oh；　I　shan't　interfere；〃　said　she　in　a　tone　that　made　it　a　binding　promise。　　〃But　you　can't　expect　me　to　sympathize　with　your　plans　for　an　old…fashioned　domestic　life。〃

〃Certainly　not；〃　said　Norman。　　〃You　don't　understand。　　Women　of　your　sort　never　do。