the dust-第45章

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e　me　till　you're　ready　for　dinner。〃

And　he　went　into　his　bedroom　and　closed　the　door。　When　he　awoke；　he　saw　that　it　was　dark　outside；　and　some　note　in　the　din　of　street　noises　from　far　below　made　him　feel　that　it　was　late。　　He　wrapped　a　bath…　robe　round　him；　opened　the　door　into　the　sitting　room。　It　was　dark。

〃Dorothy！〃　he　called。

〃Yes；〃　promptly　responded　the　small　quiet　voice；　so　near　that　he　started　back。

〃Oh！〃　he　exclaimed；　and　switched　on　the　light。　〃There　you　areby　the　window。　　What　were　you　doing；　in　the　dark？〃

She　was　dressed　precisely　as　when　he　had　last　seen　her。　　She　was　sitting　with　her　hands　listless　in　her　lap　and　her　face　a　moving　and　beautiful　expression　of　melancholy　dreams。　　On　the　table　were　the　billswhere　he　had　laid　them。　　〃You've　been　out？〃　he　said。

〃No；〃　she　replied。

〃Why　not？〃

〃I've　beenwaiting。〃

〃For　what？〃　laughed　he。

〃ForI　don't　know；〃　she　replied。　　〃Just　waiting。〃

〃But　there's　nothing　to　wait　for。〃

She　looked　at　him　interrogatively。　　〃NoI　suppose　not；〃　she　said。

He　went　back　into　his　room　and　glanced　at　his　watch。　〃Eleven　o'clock！〃　he　cried。　　〃Why　didn't　you　wake　me？　　You　must　be　nearly　starved。〃

〃Yes；　I　am　hungry；〃　said　she。

Her　patient；　passive　resignation　irritated　him。　　〃I'm　ravenous；〃　he　said。　　〃I'll　dressand　you　dress；　too。　We'll　go　downstairs　to　supper。〃

When　he　reappeared　in　the　sitting　room；　in　a　dinner　jacket；　she　was　again　seated　near　the　window；　hands　listless　in　her　lap　and　eyes　gazing　dreamily　into　vacancy。　But　she　was　now　dressed　in　the　black　chiffon　and　the　big　black　hat。　　He　laughed。　　〃You　are　prompt　and　obedient；〃　said　he。　　〃Nothing　like　hunger　to　subdue。〃

A　faint　flush　tinged　her　lovely　skin；　the　look　of　the　child　that　has　been　struck　appeared　in　her　eyes。

He　cast　about　in　his　mind　for　the　explanation。　　Did　she　think　he　meant　it　was　need　that　had　brought　her　meekly　back　to　him？　　That　was　true　enough；　but　he　had　not　intended　to　hint　it。　　In　high　good　humor　because　he　was　so　delightfully　hungry　and　was　about　to　get　food；　he　cried：　　〃Do　cheer　up！　　There's　nothing　to　be　sad　aboutnothing。〃

She　lifted　her　large　eyes　and　gazed　at　him　timidly。　〃What　are　you　going　to　do　with　me？〃

〃Take　you　downstairs　and　feed　you。〃

〃But　I　meanafterward？〃

〃Bringor　sendyou　up　here　to　go　to　bed。〃

〃Are　you　going　away？〃

〃Where？〃

〃Away　from　me。〃

He　looked　at　her　with　amused　eyes。　　She　was　exquisitely　lovely；　never　had　he　seen　her　lovelier。　　It　delighted　him　to　note　her　charmsthe　charms　that　had　enslaved　himnot　a　single　charm　missingand　to　feel　that　he　was　no　longer　their　slave；　was　his　own　master　again。

A　strange　look　swept　across　her　uncannily　mobile　facea　look　of　wonder；　of　awe；　of　fear；　of　dread。　〃You　don't　even　like　me　any　more；〃　she　said　in　her　colorless　way。

〃What　have　I　done　to　make　you　think　I　dislike　you？〃　said　he　pleasantly。

She　gazed　down　in　silence。

〃You　need　have　no　fear；〃　said　he。　　〃You　are　my　wife。　　You　will　be　well　taken　care　of；　and　you　will　not　be　annoyed。　　What　more　can　I　say？〃

〃Thank　you；〃　she　murmured。

He　winced。　　She　had　made　him　feel　like　an　unpleasant　cross　between　an　alms…giver　and　a　bully。　　〃Now；〃　said　he；　with　forced　but　resolute　cheerfulness；　〃we　will　eat；　drink　and　be　merry。〃

On　the　way　down　in　the　elevator　he　watched　her　out　of　the　corner　of　his　eye。　　When　they　reached　the　hall　leading　to　the　supper　room　he　touched　her　arm　and　halted　her。　　〃My　dear；〃　said　he　in　the　pleasant　voice　which　yet　somehow　never　failed　to　secure　attention　and　obedience；　〃there　will　be　some　of　my　acquaintances　in　there　at　supper。　　I　don't　want　them　to　see　you　with　that　whipped　dog　look。　　There's　no　occasion　for　it。〃

Her　lip　trembled。　　〃I'll　do　my　best；〃　said　she。

〃Let's　see　you　smile；〃　laughed　he。　　〃You　have　often　shown　me　that　you　know　the　woman's　trick　of　wearing　what　feelings　you　choose　on　the　outside。　　So　don't　pretend　that　you've　got　to　look　as　if　you　were　about　to　be　hung　for　a　crime　you　didn't　commit。　There！that's　better。〃

And　indeed　to　a　casual　glance　she　looked　the　happy　bride　tryingnot　very　successfullyto　seem　used　to　her　husband　and　her　new　status。

〃Hold　it！〃　he　urged　gayly。　　〃I've　no　fancy　for　leading　round　a　lovely　martyr　in　chains。　　Especially　as　you're　about　as　healthy　and　well　placed　a　person　as　I　know。　　And　you'll　feel　as　well　as　you　look　when　you've　had　something　to　eat。〃

Whether　it　was　obedience　or　the　result　of　a　decision　to　drop　an　unprofitable　pose　he　could　not　tell；　but　as　soon　as　they　were　seated　and　she　had　a　bill　of　fare　before　her　and　was　reading　it；　her　expression　of　happiness　lost　its　last　suggestion　of　being　forced。　　〃Crab　meat！〃　she　said。　　〃I　love　it！〃

〃Two　portions　of　crab　meat；〃　he　said　to　the　waiter　with　pad　and　pencil　at　attention。

〃Oh；　I　don't　want　that　much；〃　she　protested。

〃You　forget　that　I　am　hungry；〃　rejoined　he。　〃And　when　I　am　hungry；　the　price　of　food　begins　to　go　up。〃　　He　addressed　himself　to　the　waiter：　　〃After　that　a　broiled　grousewith　plenty　of　hominyand　grilled　sweet　potatoesand　a　salad　of　endive　and　hot…　house　tomatoesand　I　know　the　difference　between　hot…　house　tomatoes　and　the　other　kinds。　　Nextsome　cheeseCoullomieresyes；　you　have　itI　got　the　steward　to　get　itand　toasted　crackersthe　round　kind；　not　the　squareand　not　the　hard　ones　that　unsettle　the　teethandwhat　kind　of　ice；　my　dear？or　would　you　prefer　a　fresh　peach　flambee？〃

〃YesI　think　so；〃　said　Dorothy。

〃You　hear；　waiter？and　a　bottle　ofthere's　the　head　waiterask　himhe　knows　the　champagne　I　like。〃

As　Norman　had　talked；　in　the　pleasant；　insistent　voice；　the　waiter　had　roused　from　the　air　of　mindless；　mechanical　sloth　characteristic　of　the　New　York　waiterunless　and　until　a　fee　below　his　high　expectation　is　offered。　　When　he　said　the　final　〃very　good；　sir；〃　it　was　with　the　accent　of　real　intelligence。

Dorothy　was　smiling；　with　the　amusement　of　youth　and　inexperience。　　〃What　a　lot　of　trouble　you　took　about　it；〃　said　she。

He　shrugged　his　shoulders。　　〃Anything　worth　doing　at　all　is　worth　taking　trouble　about。　　You　will　see。　We　shall　get　results。　　The　supper　will　be　the　best　this　house　can　put　together。〃

〃You　can　have　anything　you　want　in　this　world；　if　you　only　can　pay　for　it；〃　said　she。

〃That's　what　most　people　think；〃　replied　he。　〃But　the　truth　is；　the　paying　is　only　a　small　part　of　the　art　of　getting　what　one　wants。〃

She　glanced　nervously　at　him。　　〃I'm　beginning　to　realize　that　I'm　dreadfully　inexperienced；〃　said　she。

〃There's　nothing　discouraging　in　that；〃　said　he。　〃Lack　of　experience　can　be　remedied。　　But　not　lack　of　judgment。　　It　takes　the　great　gift　of　judgment　to　enable　one　to　profit　by　mistakes；　to　decide　what　is　the　real　lesson　of　an　experience。〃

〃I'm　afraid　I　haven't　any　judgment；　either；〃　confessed　she。

〃That　remains　to　be　seen。〃

She　hesitatedventured：　　〃What　do　you　think　is　my　worst　fault？〃

He　shook　his　head　laughingly。　　〃We　are　going　to　have　a　happy　supper。〃

〃Do　you　think　I　am　very　vain？〃　persisted　she。

〃Who's　been　telling　you　so？〃

〃Mr。　Tetlow。　　He　gave　me　an　awful　talking　to；　just　before　I〃　　She　paused　at　the　edge　of　the　forbidden　ground。　　〃He　didn't　spare　me；〃　she　went　on。　〃He　said　I　was　a　vain；　self…centered　little　fool。〃

〃And　what　did　you　say？〃

〃I　was　very　angry。　　I　told　him　he　had　no　right　to　accuse　me　of　that。　　I　reminded　him　that　he　had　never　heard　me　say　a　word　about　myself。〃

〃And　did　he　say　that　the　vainest　people　were　just　that　waynever　speaking　of　themselves；　never　thinking　of　anything　else？〃

〃Oh；　he　told　you　what　he　said；〃　cried　she。

〃No；〃　laughed　he。

She　reddened。　　〃YOU　think　I'm　vain？〃

He　made　a　good…humoredly　satirical　little　bow。　　〃I　think　you　are　charming；〃　said　he。　　〃It　would　be　a　waste　of　time　to　look　at　or　to　think　of　anyone　else　when　oneself　is　the　most　charming　and　interesting　person　in　the　world。　　Still〃　　He　put　into　his　face　and　voice　a　suggestion　of　gravity　that　caught　her　utmost　attention　〃if　one　is　to　get　anywhere；　is　to　win　consideration　from　othersand　happiness　for　oneselfone　sim…　ply　must　do　a　little　thinking　about　othersoccasionally。〃

Her　eyes　lowered。　　A　faint　color　tinged　her　cheeks。

〃The　reason　most　of　us　are　so　uncomfortable　downright　unhappy　most　of　the　timeis　that　we　never　really　take　our　thoughts　off　our　precious　fascinating　selves。　　The　result　is　that　some　day　we　find　that　the　likingand　friendshipand　loveof　those　around　us　has　limitsand　we　are　left　severely　alone。　　Of　course；　if　one　has　a　great　deal　of　money；　one　can　buy　excellent　imitations　of　liking　and　friendship　and　even　loveI　ought　to　say；　especially　love〃

The　color　flamed　in　her　face。

〃But；〃　he　went　on；　〃if　one　is　in　modest　circumstances　or　poor；　one　has　to　take　care。〃

〃Or　dependent；〃　she　said；　with　one　of　those　unexpected　flashes　of　subtle　intelligence　that　so　complicated　the　study　of　her　character。　　He　had　been　talking　to　amuse　himself　rather　than　with　any　idea　of　her　understanding。　　Her　sudden　bright　color　and　her　two　words〃or　dependent〃roused　him　to　see　that　she　thought　he　was　deliberately　giving　her　a　savage　lecture　from　the　cover　of　general　remarks。　　〃With　the　vanity　of　the　typical　woman；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃she　always　imagines　SHE　is　the　subject　of　everyone's　thought　and　talk。〃

〃Or　dependent；〃　said　he　to　her；　easily。　　〃I　wasn't　thinking　of　you；　but　yours　IS　a　case　in　point。　　Come；　nownothing　to　look　blue　about！　　Here's　something　to　eat。　　No；　it's　for　the　next　table。〃

〃You　won't　let　me　explain；〃　she　protested；　between　the　prudence　of　reproach　and　the　candor　of　anger。

〃There's　nothing　to　explain；〃　replied　he。　　〃Don't　bother　about　the　mistakes　of　yesterday。　　Remember　themyes。　　If　one　has　a　good　memory；　to　forget　is　impossiblenot　to　say　unwise。　　But　there　ought　to　be　no　more　heat　or　sting　in　the　memory　of　past　mistakes　than　in　the　memory　of　last　year's　mosquito　bites。〃

The　first　course　of　the　supper　arrived。　　Her　nervousness　vanished；　and　he　got　far　away　from　the　neighborhood　of　the　subjects　that；　even　in　remotest　hint；　could　not　but　agitate　her。　　And　as　the　food　and　the　wine　asserted　their　pacific　and　beatific　sway；　she　and　he　steadily　moved　into　better　and　better　humor　with　each　other。　　Her　beauty　grew　until　it　had　him　thinking　that　never；　not　in　the　most　spiritual　feminine　conceptions　of　the　classic　painters；　had　he　seen　a　loveliness　more　ethereal。　　Her　skin　was　so　exquisite；　the　coloring　of　her　hair　and　eyes　and　of　her　lips　was　so　delicately　fine　that　it　gave　her　the　fragility　of　things　bordering　upon　the　supernalof　rare　exotics；　of　sunset　and　moonbeam　effects。　　No；　he　had　been　under　no　spell　of　illusion　as　to　her　beauty。　　It　was　a　realitythe　more　fascinating　because　it　waxed　and　waned　not　with　regularity　of　period　but　capriciously。

He　began　to　look　round　furtively；　to　see　what　effect　this　wife　of　his　was　producing　on　others。　　These　last　few　months；　through　prudence　as　much　as　through　pride；　he　had　been　cultivating　the　habit　of　ignoring　his　surroundings；　he　would　not　invite　cold　salutations　or　obvious　avoidance　of　speaking。　　He　now　discovered　many　of　his　former　associatesand　his　vanity　dilated　as　he　noted　how　intensely　they　were　interested　in　his　wife。

Some　men　of　ability　have　that　purest　form　of　egotism　which　makes　one　profoundly　content　with　himself；　genuinely　indifferent　to　the　approval　or　the