the dust-第26章

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The　look　in　her　eyesthe　fear；　the　timiditywas　a　startling　revelation　of　characterof　the　cowardice　with　which　love　undermines　the　strongest　nature。　　〃I　know　I've　been　foolish　and　incoherent；　Fred；〃　she　pleaded。　　〃ButI　love　you！　　And　you　remember　how　I　always　was　afraid　of　that　girl。〃

〃Just　what　do　you　wish　to　know？〃

〃Nothing；　dearnothing。　　I　am　not　sillily　jealous。　I　ought　to　be　admiring　you　for　your　generosityyour　charity。〃

〃It's　neither　the　one　nor　the　other；〃　said　he　with　exasperating　deliberateness。

She　quivered。　　〃Then　WHAT　is　it？〃　she　cried。　〃You　are　driving　me　crazy　with　your　evasions。〃　Pleadingly；　〃You　must　admit　they　ARE　evasions。〃

He　buttoned　his　coat　in　tranquil　preparation　to　depart。　　She　instantly　took　alarm。　　〃I　don't　mean　that。　It's　my　fault；　not　asking　you　straight　out。　　Fred；　tell　mewon't　you？　　But　if　you　are　too　cross　with　me；　thendon't　tell　me。〃　　She　laughed　nervously；　hiding　her　submission　beneath　a　seeming　of　mocking　exaggeration　of　humility。　　〃I'll　be　good。　　I'll　behave。〃

A　man　who　admired　her　as　a　figure；　a　man　who　liked　her；　a　man　who　had　no　feeling　for　her　beyond　the　general　human　feeling　of　wishing　well　pretty　nearly　everybodyin　brief；　any　man　but　one　who　had　loved　her　and　had　gotten　over　it　would　have　deeply　pitied　and　sympathized　with　her。　　Fred　Norman　said；　his　look　and　his　tone　coolly　calm：

〃I　am　backing　Mr。　Hallowell　in　a　company　for　which　he　is　doing　chemical　research　work。　　We　are　hatching　eggs；　out　of　the　shell；　so　to　speak。　　Also　we　are　aging　and　rejuvenating　arthropods　and　the　like。　　So　far　we　have　declared　no　dividends。　　But　we　have　hopes。〃

She　gave　a　hysterical　sob　of　relief。　　〃Then　it's　only　businessnot　the　girl　at　all！〃

〃Oh；　yes；　it's　the　girl；　too；〃　replied　he。　　〃She's　an　officer　of　the　company。　　In　fact；　it　was　to　make　a　place　for　her　that　I　went　into　the　enterprise　originally。〃　With　an　engaging　air　of　frankness　he　inquired；　〃Anything　more？〃

She　was　gazing　soberly；　almost　somberly；　into　the　fire。　　〃You'll　not　be　offended　if　I　ask　you　one　question？〃

〃Certainly　not。〃

〃Is　there　anything　between　you　andher？〃

〃You　mean；　am　I　having　an　affair　with　her？〃

She　hung　her　head；　but　managed　to　make　a　slight　nod　of　assent。

He　laughed。　　〃No。〃　　He　laughed　again。　　〃No　not　thus　far；　my　dear。〃　　He　laughed　a　third　time；　with　still　stronger　and　stranger　mockery。　　〃She　congratulated　me　on　my　engagement　with　a　sincerity　that　would　have　piqued　a　man　who　was　interested　in　her。〃

〃Will　you　forgive　me？〃　Josephine　said。　　〃What　I've　just　been　feeling　and　saying　and　putting　you　throughit's　beneath　both　of　us。　　I　suppose　a　woman　no　womancan　help　being　nasty　where　another　woman　is　concerned。〃

With　his　satirical　good…humored　smile；　〃I　don't　in　the　least　blame　you。〃

〃And　you'll　not　think　less　of　me　for　giving　way　to　a　thing　so　vulgar？〃

He　kissed　her　with　a　carelessness　that　made　her　wince　But　she　felt　that　she　deserved　itand　was　grateful。　　He　said：　　〃Why　don't　you　go　over　and　see　for　yourself？　　No　doubt　Tetlow　gave　you　the　address　and　no　doubt　you　have　remembered　it。〃

She　colored　and　hastily　turned　her　head。　　〃Don't　punish　me；〃　she　pleaded。

〃Punish　you？　　What　nonsense！　。　。　。　　Do　you　want　me　to　take　you　over？　　The　laboratory　would　interest　youand　Miss　Hallowell　is　lovelier　than　ever。　　She　has　an　easier　life　now。　　Office　work　wears　on　women　terribly。〃

Josephine　looked　at　him　with　a　beautiful　smile　of　love　and　trust。　　〃You　wish　to　be　sure　I'm　cured。　　Well；　can't　you　see　that　I　am？〃

〃I　don't　see　why　you　should　be。　　I've　said　nothing　one　way　or　the　other。〃

She　laughed　gayly。　　〃You　can't　tempt　me。　　I'm　really　cured。　　I　think　the　only　reason　I　had　the　attack　was　because　Mr。　Tetlow　so　evidently　believed　he　was　speaking　the　truth。〃

〃No　doubt　he　did　think　he　was。　　I'm　sure；　in　the　same　circumstances；　I'd　think　of　anyone　else　just　what　he　thinks　of　me。〃

〃Then　why　do　you　do　it；　Fred？〃　urged　she　with　ill…concealed　eagerness。　　〃It　isn't　fair　to　the　girl；　is　it？〃

〃No　one　but　you　and　Tetlow　knows　I'm　doing　it。〃

〃You're　mistaken　there；　dear。　　Tetlow　says　a　great　many　people　down　town　are　talking　about　itthat　they　say　you　go　almost　every　day　to　Jersey　City　to　see　her。　He　accuses　you　of　having　ruined　her　reputation。　　He　says　she　is　quite　innocent。　　He　blames　the　whole　thing　upon　you。〃

Norman；　standing　with　arms　folded　upon　his　broad　chest；　was　gazing　thoughtfully　into　the　fire。

〃You　don't　mind　my　telling　you　these　things？〃　she　said　anxiously。　　〃Of　course；　I　know　they　are　lies〃

〃So　everyone　is　talking　about　it；〃　interrupted　he；　so　absorbed　that　he　had　not　heard　her。

〃You　don't　realize　how　conspicuous　you　are。〃

He　shrugged　his　shoulders。　　〃Well；　it　can't　be　helped。〃

〃You　can't　afford　to　be　mixed　up　in　a　scandal；〃　she　ventured；　〃or　to　injure　a　poor　little　creature　　I'm　afraid　you'll　have　toto　stop　it。〃

〃Stop　it。〃　　His　eyes　gleamed　with　mirth　and　something　else。　　〃It　isn't　my　habit　to　heed　gossip。〃

〃But　think　of　HER；　Fred！〃

He　smiled　ironically。　　〃What　a　generous；　thoughtful　dear　you　are！〃　said　he。

She　blushed。　　〃I'll　admit　I　don't　like　it。　　I'm　not　jealousbut　I　wish　you　weren't　doing　it。〃

〃So　do　I！〃　he　exclaimed；　with　sudden　energy　that　astonished　and　disquieted　her。　　〃So　do　I！　　But　since　it　can't　be　helped　I　shall　go　on。〃

Never　had　she　respected　him　so　profoundly。　　For　the　first　time　she　had　measured　strength　with　him　and　had　been　beaten　and　routed。　　She　fancied　herself　enormously　proud；　for　she　labored　under　the　common　delusion　which　mistakes　for　pride　the　silly　vanity　of　class；　or　birth；　or　wealth；　or　position。　　She　had　imagined　she　would　never　lower　that　cherished　pride　of　hers　to　any　man。　　And　she　had　lowered　it　into　the　dust。　　No　wonder　women　had　loved　him；　she　said　to　herself；　couldn't　he　do　with　them；　even　the　haughtiest　of　them；　precisely　as　he　pleased？　　He　had　not　tried　to　calm；　much　less　to　end　her　jealousy；　on　the　contrary；　he　had　let　it　flame　as　high　as　it　would；　had　urged　it　higher。　　And　she　did　not　dare　ask　him；　even　as　a　loving　concession　to　her　weakness；　to　give　up　an　affair　upon　which　everybody　was　putting　the　natural　worst　possible　construction！　On　the　contrary；　she　had　given　him　leave　to　go　on　because　she　fearedyes；　knewthat　if　she　tried　to　interfere　he　would　take　it　as　evidence　that　they　could　not　get　on　together。　　What　a　man！


But　there　was　more　to　come　that　day。　　As　he　was　finishing　dressing　for　dinner　his　sister　Ursula　knocked。　〃May　I　come；　Frederick？〃　she　said。

〃Sure；〃　he　cried。　　〃I'm　fixing　my　tie。〃

Ursula；　in　a　gown　that　displayed　the　last　possible　many　of　the　homelier　women　said　impossibleinch　of　her　beautiful　shoulders；　came　strolling　sinuously　in　and　seated　herself　on　the　arm　of　the　divan。　　She　watched　him；　in　his　evening　shirt；　as　he　with　much　struggling　did　his　tie。　　〃How　young　you　do　look；　Fred！〃　said　she。　　〃Especially　in　just　that　much　clothes。　　Not　a　day　over　thirty。〃

〃I'm　not　exactly　a　nonogenarian；〃　retorted　he。

〃But　usually　your　facein　spite　of　its　smoothness　and　no　wrinkleshas　a　kind　of　an　old　youngor　do　I　mean　young　old？look。　　You've　led　such　a　serious　life。〃

〃Um。　　That's　the　devil　of　it。〃

〃You're　looking　particularly　young　to…night。〃

〃Same　to　you；　Urse。〃

〃No；　I'm　not　bad　for　thirty…four。　　People　half　believe　me　when　I　say　I'm　twenty…nine。〃　　She　glanced　complacently　down　at　her　softly　glistening　shoulders。　〃I've　still　got　my　skin。〃

〃And　a　mighty　good　one　it　is。　　Best　I　ever　saw　except　one。〃

She　reflected　a　moment；　then　smiled。　　〃I　know　it　isn't　Josephine's。　　Hers　is　good　but　not　notable。　　Eyes　and　teeth　are　her　strongholds。　　I　suppose　it'sthe　other　lady's。〃

〃Exactly。〃

〃I　mean　the　one　in　Jersey　City。〃

He　went　on　brushing　his　hair　with　not　a　glance　at　the　bomb　she　had　exploded　under　his　very　nose。

〃You're　a　cool　one；〃　she　said　admiringly。

〃Cool？〃

〃I　thought　you'd　jump。　　I'm　sure　you　never　dreamed　I　knew。〃

He　slid　into　his　white　waistcoat　and　began　to　button　it。

〃Though　you　might　know　I'd　find　out；〃　she　went　on；　〃when　everyone's　talking。〃

〃Everyone's　always　talking；〃　said　he　indifferently。

〃And　they　rattle　on　to　beat　the　band　when　they　get　a　chance　at　a　man　like　you。　　Do　you　know　what　they're　saying？〃

〃Certainly。　　Loosen　these　straps　in　the　back　of　my　waistcoatthe　upper　ones；　won't　you？〃

As　she　fussed　with　the　buckles　she　said：　　〃But　you　don't　know　that　they　say　you're　going　to　pieces　neglecting　your　caseskeeping　away　from　your　office　wasting　about　half　of　your　day　with　your　lady　love。　They　say　that　you　have　gone　stark　madthat　you　are　rushing　to　ruin。〃

〃A　little　looser。　　That's　better。　　Thanks。〃

〃And　everyone's　wondering　when　Josephine　will　hear　and　go　on　the　rampage。　　She's　so　proud　and　so　stuck　on　herself　that　they're　betting　she'll　give　you　the　bounce。〃

〃Well〃　getting　into　his　coat〃you'd　delight　in　that。　　For　you　don't　like　her。〃

〃Ohsoso；〃　replied　Ursula。　　〃She's　all　right；　as　women　go。　　You　know　we　women　don't　ever　think　any　too　well　of　each　other。　　We're　‘on。'　　Now；　I'm　frank　to　admit　I'm　not　worth　the　powder　to　blow　me　up。　　I　can't　do　anything　worth　doing。　　I　don't　know　anything　worth　knowingexcept　how　to　dress　and　make　a　fool　of　an　occasional　man。　　I'm　not　a　good　house…　keeper；　nor　a　good　wifeand　I'd　as　lief　go　to　jail　for　two　years　as　have　a　baby。　　But　I　admit　I'm　n。　g。　Most　women　are　as　poor　excuses　as　I　am；　yet　they　think　they're　GRAND！〃

Norman；　standing　before　his　sister　and　smiling　mysteriously；　said：　　〃My　dear　Urse；　let　me　give　you　a　great　truth　in　a　sentence。　　The　value　of　anything　is　not　its　value　to　itself　or　in　itself；　but　its　value　to　some　one　else。　A　womaneven　as　incompetent　a　person　as　you〃

〃Or　Josephine。〃

〃or　Josephinemay　seem　to　some　man　to　be　pricelessly　valuable。　　And　if　she　happens　to　seem　so　to　him；　why；　she　IS　so。〃

〃MeaningJersey　City？〃

His　eyes　glittered　curiously。　　〃Meaning　Jersey　City；〃　he　said。

A　long　silence。　　Then　Ursula：　　〃But　suppose　Josephine　hears？〃

He　stood　beside　the　doorway；　waiting　for　her　to　pass　out。　　His　face　expressed　nothing。　　〃Let's　go　down。　　I'm　hungry。　　We　were　talking　about　it　this　afternoon。〃

〃You　and　Jo！〃

〃Josephine　and　I。〃

〃And　it's　all　right？〃

〃Why　not？〃

〃You　fooled　her？〃

〃I　don't　stoop　to　that　sort　of　thing。〃

〃No；　indeed；〃　she　laughed。　　〃You　rise　to　heights　of　deception　that　would　make　anyone　else　giddy。　　Oh；　I'd　give　anything　to　have　heard。〃

〃There's　nothing　to　deceive　about；〃　said　he。

She　shook　her　head。　　〃You　can't　put　it　over　me；　Fred。　　You've　never　before　made　a　fool　of　yourself　about　a　woman。　　I'd　like　to　see　her。　　I　suppose　I'd　be　amazed。　　I've　observed　that　the　women　who　do　the　most　extraordinary　things　with　men　are　the　most　ordinary　sort　of　women。〃

〃Not　to　the　men；〃　said　he　bitterly。　　〃Not　while　they're　doing　it。〃

〃Does　SHE　seem　extraordinary　to　YOU　still？〃

He　thrust　his　hands　deep　in　his　pockets。　　〃What　you　heard　is　true。　　I'm　letting　everything　slidework　careereverything。　　I　think　of　nothing　else。　　Ursula；　I'm　mad　about　hermad！〃

She　threw　back　her　head；　looked　at　him　admiringly。　Never　had　she　so　utterly　worshiped　this　wonderful；　powerful　brother　of　hers。　　He　was　in　lovereally　madly　in　loveat　last。　　So　he　was　perfect！　　〃How　long　do　you　think　it　will　hold；　Fred？〃　she　said；　all　sympathy。

〃God　knows！〃